The Devil's Dictionary

Thread: The Devil's Dictionary

  1. Cornelius Plautus's Avatar

    Cornelius Plautus said: February 16, 2010 06:40 PM

    Default The Devil's Dictionary

    Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary has to be one of the funniest pieces of near-timeless satire to which I've ever treated myself. A dry sense of wit so thoroughly pervades each entry and often times in such a range of ways that it never ceases to be entertaining, but while some entries are funnier than others, one cannot expect an author to make every joke priceless. Some of my favorite definitions are

    cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by Nature to be kicked whenever things go wrong in the domestic circle.

    corporation, n. An ingenious device to obtain individual gain without individual responsibility.

    husband, n. see brute.

    Any thoughts?


    -Click on the Eagle for a Surprise!-
     

  2. Dr. Oza's Avatar

    Dr. Oza said: February 16, 2010 11:40 PM

    Default Re: The Devil's Dictionary

    yep , a lil late tho buddy , its a classic and most people know about it , its very entertaining
     

  3. Cornelius Plautus's Avatar

    Cornelius Plautus said: February 17, 2010 04:13 PM

    Default Re: The Devil's Dictionary

    Quote Originally Posted by Sipahizade View Post
    yep , a lil late tho buddy , its a classic and most people know about it , its very entertaining
    I am aware of that, but I thought it would still be a fun conversation, given how hilarious it truly is.


    -Click on the Eagle for a Surprise!-
     

  4. Nimthill's Avatar

    Nimthill said: February 18, 2010 05:33 AM

    Default Re: The Devil's Dictionary

    Really good piece of work

    Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

    Hers, pron. His.

    Malefactor, n. The chief factor in the progress of the human race.
    For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
     

  5. Dr. Croccer's Avatar

    Dr. Croccer said: February 17, 2010 12:42 PM

    Default Re: The Devil's Dictionary

    It's brilliant. Ambrose Bierce was a literary genius.

    YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANK.)

    EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

    ECONOMY, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
    Quote Originally Posted by A.J.P. Taylor
    Peaceful agreement and government by consent are possible only on the basis of ideas common to all parties; and these ideas must spring from habit and from history. Once reason is introduced, every man, every class, every nation becomes a law unto itself; and the only right which reason understands is the right of the stronger. Reason formulates universal principles and is therefore intolerant: there can be only one rational society, one rational nation, ultimately one rational man. Decisions between rival reasons can be made only by force.





    Quote Originally Posted by H.L Spieghel
    Is het niet hogelijk te verwonderen, en een recht beklaaglijke zaak, Heren, dat alhoewel onze algemene Dietse taal een onvermengde, sierlijke en verstandelijke spraak is, die zich ook zo wijd als enige talen des werelds verspreidt, en die in haar bevang veel rijken, vorstendommen en landen bevat, welke dagelijks zeer veel kloeke en hooggeleerde verstanden uitleveren, dat ze nochtans zo zwakkelijk opgeholpen en zo weinig met geleerdheid verrijkt en versiert wordt, tot een jammerlijk hinder en nadeel des volks?
    Quote Originally Posted by Miel Cools
    Als ik oud ben wil ik zingen,
    Oud ben maar nog niet verrot.
    Zoals oude bomen zingen,
    Voor Jan Lul of voor hun god.
    Ook een oude boom wil reizen,
    Bij een bries of bij een storm.
    Zelfs al zit zijn kruin vol luizen,
    Zelfs al zit zijn voet vol worm.
    Als ik oud ben wil ik zingen.

    Cò am Fear am measg ant-sluaigh,
    A mhaireas buan gu bràth?
    Chan eil sinn uileadh ach air chuart,
    Mar dhìthein buaile fàs,
    Bheir siantannan na bliadhna sìos,
    'S nach tog a' ghrian an àird.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jörg Friedrich
    When do I stop being a justified warrior? When I've killed a million bad civilians? When I've killed three million bad civilians? According to a warsimulation by the Pentagon in 1953 the entire area of Russia would've been reduced to ruins with 60 million casualties. All bad Russians. 60 million bad guys. By how many million ''bad'' casualties do I stop being a knight of justice? Isn't that the question those knights must ask themselves? If there's no-one left, and I remain as the only just one,

    Then I'm God.
    Quote Originally Posted by Louis Napoleon III, Des Idees Napoleoniennes
    Governments have been established to aid society to overcome the obstacles which impede its march. Their forms have been varied according to the problems they have been called to cure, and according to character of the people they have ruled over. Their task never has been, and never will be easy, because the two contrary elements, of which our existence and the nature of society is composed, demand the employment of different means. In view of our divine essence, we need only liberty and work; in view of our mortal nature, we need for our direction a guide and a support. A government is not then, as a distinguished economist has said, a necessary ulcer; it is rather the beneficent motive power of all social organisation.


    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfgang Held
    I walked into those baracks [of Buchenwald concentrationcamp], in which there were people on the three-layered bunkbeds. But only their eyes were alive. Emaciated, skinny figures, nothing more but skin and bones. One thinks that they are dead, because they did not move. Only the eyes. I started to cry. And then one of the prisoners came, stood by me for a while, put a hand on my shoulder and said to me, something that I will never forget: ''Tränen sind denn nicht genug, mein Junge,
    Tränen sind denn nicht genug.''

    Jajem ssoref is m'n korew
    E goochem mit e wenk, e nar mit e shtomp
    Wer niks is, hot kawsones