Page 1 of 13 1234567891011 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 246

Thread: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

  1. #1
    The Dutch Devil's Avatar Krakiszki the Hunter
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    2,246

    Default Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    01. You sometimes utter a line that makes no sense to your friends and family, e.g.- "Spotted! I'm such a dummkopf!", "Look but don't touch…..naive!", "It is said, my Sultan does not mind you", and "I would have them all gutted!"

    02. You sometimes don't check in at the forums for weeks or months…….because you're too busy playing!

    03. You've told yourself, "Okay, this is the last time I'll play this faction, and then I'll try another mod or game," only to play that faction 4 more times and counting.

    04. You've written lengthy fictional stories based on your medieval game experiences.

    05. You've spent plenty of time looking up words you don't know, and pieces of history you're not familiar with, that are in the game.

    06. When you hear the soundtrack at the beginning of the game (main menu), and reach that point where after a quiet lull, the Gregorian chant becomes deep and powerful and resonant, you raise your head and arms to the sky, in praise of the war gods!

    07. When you argue with your history teacher about the hundred years war; "England did not lose to France, they actually conquered them, sacked paris and invaded spain!"

    08. When I'm going home with a shelf (bought in a D.I.Y.shop) in my hand whilst being on a bicycle.. thinking of how to properly charge into another rider on the road

    09. When you figure it takes 6 turns to get to the bathroom.

    10. you build a watchtower in your yard in order to watch your borders from the neighbors

    11. you try to improve relations with your neighbors by trying to marry your daughter to their son

    12. You think that the only solution to every problem, of every possible type, in every situation, everywhere, is to destroy something (exception: some few problems can be partially resolved by constructing something that will assist in destroying something else). Are your kids whiny and poorly behaved? Blow up their school. Annoying neighbors? Invade their yard, then garrison one of your formerly whining kids in their living room with a short-barreled rifle and a horse. Are you not respected enough in your community? Take over the whole neighborhood to increase your "prestige". Not making enough money at work? Beat up the foreign guy and take his wallet, car keys, car, home, furniture, food...

    13. you force a neighbor to pay tribute, unless he wants to get invaded.

    14. You get in to a fight but lose due to a system bug.

    15. when you wonder why there is no background music playing, until you think it's because of the latest patch.

    16. when you ask your neighbour for map information.

    17. you try to sneak into your neighbors house by disguising yourself as a bush and creeping by them when they aren't looking

    18. you wonder how your vices and friends (ancillaries) will effect your ability to win a battle

    19. you improve the walkway to your front door in order to better facilitate trade with your neighbors and move troops more quickly around your property

    20. when you start getting bored of life, you try and download new mods for it.

    21. Every time you read about how the Spanish Tercio dominated the late medieval battlefield, you snort: "Hmpf, they are useless, can't stop a cavalry charge, suddenly swap around to their swords and need a lot of modding to be even close to usable. Anyway, my longbowmen and dismounted english knights cut them to pieces before my english knights charge the flank and rout them easily."

    22. You upgrade your house's walls to Great Stone Walls.

    23. when someone blocks your driveway/ parking space you see it as an act of war.

    24. you keep looking for an enemy army approaching your car icon on your GPS monitor.


    25. "If God wanted humans to fly, he would have made it compatible with the Medieval 2: Total War engine."

    26. you have a pot of scalding hot oil over your front door.

    27. Everything in your house is 500% larger than it's supposed to be (in reference to all the buildings being way bigger than they should. Anyone ever notice the weapons in the blacksmith being the size of 6 men?)

    28. You can prove that games ARE educational.

    29. wear inquisitor robes when your kids come home late...."ive got questions"

    30. Your so embarrassed by your dad continuously walking in on you playing med 2 that when he walks in you turn the monitor off and say it was porn

    31. You build church towers on your roof to get papal approval.

    32. Sometimes you find yourself wishing your children were "militia children" , so you wouldn't have to pay their upkeep.

    33. You disband children to stop paying for them.

    34. You've returned home after a big night on the drink and totally screwing the campaign beyond repair that you've been at for two weeks. Then passing out whilst waiting for the enemy faction to reach your lines and waking up in the morning to a Victory Screen as your stack of Veteren troops carried on whilst their commander and chief was laying naked and unconscious on the couch from exhaustion after a major diplomatic function the night before.

    35. When you crash the car you blame path finding issues!

    Patronized by the glorious all knowing Legio.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    whats this thread about?
    are we supposed to continue?

  3. #3
    The Dutch Devil's Avatar Krakiszki the Hunter
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    2,246

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    Continue if you want.

    Or just name the ones that apply to you.

    Patronized by the glorious all knowing Legio.

  4. #4
    Lysimachus's Avatar Spirit Cleric
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    8,085

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    36. Whenever you take part in a sporting event you run like the M2TW soldiers do (= like a retard)

  5. #5
    H Con's Avatar Senator
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Northern Norway
    Posts
    1,482

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    37: You take a sword with you to an archery contest.
    UN: All problems would be solved if everyone could just sit down and talk.
    Bin Laden:But the problem is that everyo--
    Navy Seal: RATATATATATA!
    Another Navy Seal: RATATATATA!
    Pokémon Trainer: RATTATA! USE SCRATCH!
    *dust settles*
    Al Zawahiri: --that everyone must speak Arabic first!


    Bow General Mod for Total War: Shogun II

  6. #6

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    lol, this was hilarious, +rep Dutch Devil.
    Optio, Legio I Latina

  7. #7

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    38: When your next door neighbor seems poorer and weaker then you, you offer vassalage
    GO GERMANY WORLD CUP FIFA 2010!!!!

  8. #8
    The Dutch Devil's Avatar Krakiszki the Hunter
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    2,246

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    39: You torch down their house because they're to stupid to accept.

    Patronized by the glorious all knowing Legio.

  9. #9
    Nazgûl Killer's Avatar ✡At Your Service✡
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    The Holy Land - Israel
    Posts
    10,976

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    40; You run up to someone you hate, arms flailing and sword wailing.
    41: You tend to walk like a soldier
    42: You mimic the sounds of a steel armor when you walk.
    43: You pretend to grasp a shield and a certain weapon when walking and if alone.
    44: You are caught by your friends doing one of the above, and you are ridiculed for the rest of your life.
    Nazgul Killer's M2TW Guide
    Personal Help & Advice forum
    My view on the "Friend Zone"
    Good things come to those who wait... But better things come to those who never hesitate.

  10. #10
    rsslcs's Avatar Senator
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    engerland!
    Posts
    1,326

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    45: You get really annoyed with someone without a reason until you realise that you are at war with their country in MTW2.
    46: You turn corners by bumping into walls, fencing, and other people.
    47: You visit a castle that was destroyed hundreds of years ago and think how stupid the defenders were to not have waited till their timer ran out.
    48: You hum the MTW2 main theme whilst working
    49: You hear MTW2 battle tunes whilst you are in a fight with someone.

  11. #11
    IZob's Avatar Citizen
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    9,829

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    50: You believe America is full of tribal people, city's of gold and you refer to it as the "new world".
    Contact me on Steam: steamcommunity.com/id/IZob/ or send a PM.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    #51 you are eagerly waiting for a "fifth" crusade!
    #52 when you argue with your family you think it is a rebelling settlement and you try to exterminate populace!
    #53 you get your younger brother to learn and tell your mother "yes it`s violent but also very educational"!
    #54 you get your food order at McDonalds and look in the bag then say "no map information?"!
    #55 you publicly refer to any minority as "Desert dogs""!

    ok guys you think were ready for the TWC comedy tour!

  13. #13
    John Doe's Avatar Primicerius
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    3,530

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    56 your hand is mouse shaped

  14. #14
    IZob's Avatar Citizen
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    9,829

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    57: Should you ever take your medieval CD out of your computer hard drive, it will disintegrate.
    58: You now speak of your medieval manual as the holly bible.
    59: You have lost all modern intelligence and have no knowledge past the year 1530.
    60: You make jokes about playing medieval 2 to much and then tell them to people in the forum.
    Contact me on Steam: steamcommunity.com/id/IZob/ or send a PM.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    #61 you will no longer speak to a long-time friend because they have never played or heard of mtw2
    #62 you conquer more twenty settlements in one sitting (but you know it could be the perfect Campaign so you start over!)
    #63 you imagine almost everything you do "how now! that would make a good mod!"
    #64 you try exercise poor decrepict streetbums as heretics!
    #65 you try and rob people at the seven-eleven and you tell the arresting officer you were just trying to make a "mercantile aquisition!

  16. #16
    Thompson45cal.'s Avatar Ordinarius
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    The Great State of Texas and George W. Bush ain't no Texan.......
    Posts
    698

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    There's a thread like this somewhere. But I'll respond to this one as well with my typical answer.
    Be better to wait till #69 dude but........

    66. When the wife wakes you in the middle of the night telling you "Stop poking me with your lance, and I'm not a witch."

  17. #17
    Frederich Barbarossa's Avatar Protector Domesticus
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Edinburgh, Scotland (From Kendall, Florida and proud!)
    Posts
    4,348

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    67. When you always end a sentence, with a friendly sign of respect... 'Yes, mon ami' 'Yes my sultan' 'Yes my kaiser' 'Yes Sadiq'...
    His highness, þeþurn I, Keng of Savomyr!

  18. #18
    empr guy's Avatar Praefectus
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    6,330

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    68. you ask people what files you edit so you can play as them

  19. #19

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    69. You are able to come up with this many reasons you play this much
    70. You realize that instead of typing this you could be conquering a new town or 2 or 3 or maybe 10?

  20. #20

    Default Re: Signs You Play Too Much Medieval 2: Total War

    #71 You pass your history class due to historical tidbits learned from M2TW Mods.
    #72 Think of new army compositions while eating dinner and listening to friends/family with a blank stare.
    #73 You pass any group of bushes, and fear it may be an ambush; thus sending your younger brother to "explore" it first.


Page 1 of 13 1234567891011 ... LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •