01. You sometimes utter a line that makes no sense to your friends and family, e.g.- "Spotted! I'm such a dummkopf!", "Look but don't touch…..naive!", "It is said, my Sultan does not mind you", and "I would have them all gutted!"
02. You sometimes don't check in at the forums for weeks or months…….because you're too busy playing!
03. You've told yourself, "Okay, this is the last time I'll play this faction, and then I'll try another mod or game," only to play that faction 4 more times and counting.
04. You've written lengthy fictional stories based on your medieval game experiences.
05. You've spent plenty of time looking up words you don't know, and pieces of history you're not familiar with, that are in the game.
06. When you hear the soundtrack at the beginning of the game (main menu), and reach that point where after a quiet lull, the Gregorian chant becomes deep and powerful and resonant, you raise your head and arms to the sky, in praise of the war gods!
07. When you argue with your history teacher about the hundred years war; "England did not lose to France, they actually conquered them, sacked paris and invaded spain!"
08. When I'm going home with a shelf (bought in a D.I.Y.shop) in my hand whilst being on a bicycle.. thinking of how to properly charge into another rider on the road
09. When you figure it takes 6 turns to get to the bathroom.
10. you build a watchtower in your yard in order to watch your borders from the neighbors
11. you try to improve relations with your neighbors by trying to marry your daughter to their son
12. You think that the only solution to every problem, of every possible type, in every situation, everywhere, is to destroy something (exception: some few problems can be partially resolved by constructing something that will assist in destroying something else). Are your kids whiny and poorly behaved? Blow up their school. Annoying neighbors? Invade their yard, then garrison one of your formerly whining kids in their living room with a short-barreled rifle and a horse. Are you not respected enough in your community? Take over the whole neighborhood to increase your "prestige". Not making enough money at work? Beat up the foreign guy and take his wallet, car keys, car, home, furniture, food...
13. you force a neighbor to pay tribute, unless he wants to get invaded.
14. You get in to a fight but lose due to a system bug.
15. when you wonder why there is no background music playing, until you think it's because of the latest patch.
16. when you ask your neighbour for map information.
17. you try to sneak into your neighbors house by disguising yourself as a bush and creeping by them when they aren't looking
18. you wonder how your vices and friends (ancillaries) will effect your ability to win a battle
19. you improve the walkway to your front door in order to better facilitate trade with your neighbors and move troops more quickly around your property
20. when you start getting bored of life, you try and download new mods for it.
21. Every time you read about how the Spanish Tercio dominated the late medieval battlefield, you snort: "Hmpf, they are useless, can't stop a cavalry charge, suddenly swap around to their swords and need a lot of modding to be even close to usable. Anyway, my longbowmen and dismounted english knights cut them to pieces before my english knights charge the flank and rout them easily."
22. You upgrade your house's walls to Great Stone Walls.
23. when someone blocks your driveway/ parking space you see it as an act of war.
24. you keep looking for an enemy army approaching your car icon on your GPS monitor.
25. "If God wanted humans to fly, he would have made it compatible with the Medieval 2: Total War engine."
26. you have a pot of scalding hot oil over your front door.
27. Everything in your house is 500% larger than it's supposed to be (in reference to all the buildings being way bigger than they should. Anyone ever notice the weapons in the blacksmith being the size of 6 men?)
28. You can prove that games ARE educational.
29. wear inquisitor robes when your kids come home late...."ive got questions"
30. Your so embarrassed by your dad continuously walking in on you playing med 2 that when he walks in you turn the monitor off and say it was porn
31. You build church towers on your roof to get papal approval.
32. Sometimes you find yourself wishing your children were "militia children" , so you wouldn't have to pay their upkeep.
33. You disband children to stop paying for them.
34. You've returned home after a big night on the drink and totally screwing the campaign beyond repair that you've been at for two weeks. Then passing out whilst waiting for the enemy faction to reach your lines and waking up in the morning to a Victory Screen as your stack of Veteren troops carried on whilst their commander and chief was laying naked and unconscious on the couch from exhaustion after a major diplomatic function the night before.
35. When you crash the car you blame path finding issues!