The Critic's Quill: Issue 15

**Juvenal** · December 31, 2009, 08:38 AM

Letter from the Editor
Dear Readers, what with Junius acquiring emeritus status, and after his stupendous efforts to get the Critic's Quill up and running over the last 9 months, it is up to yours-truly to pick up the torch and run with it (until I use up all my metaphors that is).

Happily, Junius is still with us, and has even provided a review which you will find below.

This time we have an interview with that award-winning writer Beer Money, a brace of four reviews, and a couple of erudite articles on the writing of AARs, one addressing the resources for creative fiction provided by Roma Surrectum and Europa Barbarorum, the other examining the process of turning game-play into a well-rounded story.

As always, the opinions expressed in this publication are the personal ones of the writers. Critic's Quill does not officially endorse, nor does it castigate. But should you spot errors of fact or omission, then please post about it here in this thread.

We hope you enjoy this issue...

Your new editor, Juvenal

Table of Contents

Interview Section

An Interview With Beer Money

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

1. So give us the gory details, tell us everything about yourself! Why you're here, what your interests are, what you do at 9pm on a Saturday night, that sort of thing.
Out of college, now corporate drone. I'm a very casual gamer - I bought RTW in 2008. Ha. Found this site initially googling for RTW unit ratings, downloaded the RTR and EB mod and was blown away by the level of immersion and how there was this whole community devoted to historical gaming. The mods here are complex labors of love and I have the utmost respect for the creativity and attention to detail on these by the modders. Then I read my first AAR and well, got hooked.

More importantly I had now found a way to enjoy my game time and keep my brain from atrophying from work. Ha. 9PM Sat? - usually with the gf unless she works.

2. So your sequel AAR Catalunya: A Consolidation of Power just won first place in the most recent MAARC competition, how do you feel about that? Did you expect to win? It was a great AAR by the way.
Well thanks for the compliment! And thanks to everyone that voted. Yeah, I was really surprised at winning on just my 2nd submission. No, I did not expect to win. There are a lot of good writers and lots of good stories I was up against.

3.Tell us about your most recent creation Látomásai Királyok! - Visions of the Kings, what is it about?
Its an AAR from a game I played alongside Barcelona when I was trying out the Sicilian Vespers mod. Its again about a young king trying to assert himself in a land surrounded by varied enemies. Don't want to give to give too much away but it will soon gain momentum as things get messy.

4. It seems you are a big fan of the Sicilian Vespers mod, all your AAR's being written with that as a base. Do you perchance play any other mods? Can we expect an AAR from a different mod in the future? Do you feel this mod gives you a good platform from which to write AAR's, some special feature that makes it easy to write updates? Or do you just enjoy playing the mod?
I love the mod - very balanced but that was just the first mod I tried for M2TW so it spawned the 1st two AARs. Ive played SS, BC, Deus Lo Vult, Lands, etc for M2TW and all are awesome (although I wish DLV wouldn't crash so much). Again, so much detail! Ive got AARs planned for some of the others too, its just SV was the first I started taking screenshots for. Ha. But I would never play a vanilla game again for either RTW or M2TW. Hopefully Ill even be doing my Greek EB AAR here before EB II launches.

5. Is it true that you once fought off an enraged boar with naught but a stout stick and lots of yelling and shouting?
Well, if by enraged boar you mean a large girlfriend of a girl at a bar I was talking to...then possibly.

6. OK sorry, no more stupid questions, I promise. What is your inspiration for writing AAR's? Where do you get your drive and motivation to write a tale thousands of words long?
Ask away - answering funny questions still beats turning in excel spreadsheets. This gaming community is amazing and everyone here seems to play for the immersive experience that the game and mods provide. As for motivation - When I play these long turn based games I always develop a link to the characters/armies. I mean most of these games are tons of hours of game play and its tough to not get into character when you consider how these games generate family trees and specific traits - how can you not? I think the AAR is a great way to record the history you just made. And its a way to look back on those grand campaigns that you play and have something to show for it versus some saved game file on your hard drive. Plus when you have guys like Amaz and Dezikeizer rooting for the characters in your AARs all along the way it makes you more determined about writing the next chapter!

7. Do you think history or events that happened in real life have any influence or add any flavour to your AAR's? Do you try and play your campaigns modeled on history? Or do you try and change what might have been, rewrite history itself?
I know a LOT of people here are history buffs and the modders are very specific to get things accurate but I just run with how events pan out in the game. I probably have done some things where in real life wouldn't be true but the game clearly does stuff that would have never happened as well - I mean the pope calls a crusade on Paris? Yeah, OK. So that opens things up. I read up a little every now and then to see what was going on at the time in history so I'm not writing things like, "and then the king took out his machine gun..." but for me the game is to write your own history and story so I have fun with it.

8. Is there a part or parts of your writing that you think you could improve on? A weak link in a very strong chain?
I wish I could do more descriptive battles but with fighting such a key element of the game its difficult to not become repetitive. Maybe thats why my AARs are more story driven. Still, I think I need to work on that a bit for important battles.

9. Have you ever heard of Tale of the Week? Ever thought of clashing quills with the budding writers there? Do you think it is a good place for writers to hone their skills and gain the confidence to write a full fledged AAR?
You clearly haven't seen my sig file.

I did a couple - didn't win but I personally thought both were good - especially the poem one. I was proud of that one since its such a tough form. Yes, definitely TOTW rocks and we should see more writers contribute - as with anything, practice helps plus you usually get to talk with and support of the others. And you find about other mods! Cant wait to play Thera and ROP for example.

10. What do you think of the AAR/story side of TWC in general? Do you think it is a popular area of the forum, do you think it could use more advertisement, is it a good concept in general?
I think the AAR side is GREAT for TWC - helps build the community. Not sure of its popularity but any ads for it are good ads. I mean how does Hearts of Iron have 50 billion members when that game plays as if it was built by accountants? Personally I wish we'd consolidate the AAR section so its easier to see ALL AARs in one place not just those from Rome or M2TW or Empire when you are reading. The only peeve I have is in the forums sometimes people get a little hard on newbies, obviously younger writers and foreign writers. I know they are trying to help their craft but my feeling is that you don't want to put up a barrier. I think too much criticism and users who might have given it a shot back off for fear of getting ripped. I know everyone is trying to help each other but if a guy who maybe isn't the best writer or doesn't have superior command of English just wants to put up an AAR for fun and because he was inspired by others here, let him go with it. Maybe hes just trying to get away from the real world like I am.

11. Who is your idol here on TWC, if you have one. Who is your writing guru, what I mean is, do you have a mentor or someone with whom you learned all that you know from?
The author of the first AAR I stumbled across is really one of the greatest - LlamaD's AAR-MEN-NIEN. Completely irreverent, off-the-wall but an immense amount of detail and thought went into that and its just a staggering work of genius IMHO for an AAR. And that hooked me so I suppose that guy even though I don't think hes on here anymore. As for gurus - everyone who comments or posts or critiques - I absorb everything in. Thats whats great about this site. Although a special nod to Nazgul and Kallum who took the time to review my first AAR and I think get me a bit more noticed and made me realize people were reading.

Oh and Thokran who I think started AARing right when I did - like starting a new school together. Ha.

12. Have you thought about writing a comedy AAR? I heard those are really popular, after all, it can't all be soppy love stories and terrible war. What say you?
Well Ive got a couple ideas but yeah, its on my to-do list.

13. So I've probably bored you to death with all these questions but I have a couple more, do you have any advice for any potential AAR writer, any words of wisdom to impart?
No no no. Again, ask away. Anybody can ask me anything anytime. Thats what the community is here for. Advice - yes: AARs are YOUR story and your labor of love - you write it or present it anyway you want. Take advice if its what you are looking for but above all put it down in your words. If you try to write it like someone else's AAR it will just be a poor copy of someone elses writing. Finally, have fun with it and don't think too much about what the rest of us think. Thats why we are all here - to enjoy and be passionate about a set of games that enhances our love of history and strategy gaming. Every time someone is too scared about what the community here will think and DOESN'T submit an AAR, write a TOTW, write an interview, etc we all lose IMHO.

14. What is your opinion of pictures and screenshots in AAR's? Some people just want to read a great story and don't need illustration, while others only want to read a picture book with very little writing. Where do you stand on the pictures vs words front?
LOVE EM! Again the greatness of the community and having more AARs and different types is that you get to see all manner of writing and expression. I like the pics because the game is very visual but look at Theodotos I - hes got a book coming and nary a screenshot!

15. Alright nearing the end now, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do you have any last words? Want to give a shout out to your mum or dad? Tell your girlfriend to feed the cat or anything?
Yes, just thanks to everyone who follows and has read my AARs and to the other AAR writers, content editors, modders and TWC members who encourage me and give me feedback along the way. I always try to thank you individually because every comment and +rep means alot.

Thank you for taking the time to answer these questions, it is because of people such as yourself and other writers that this publication exists. We salute you!

Saint Nicholas

AAR Review Section

Catalunya: A Consolidation of Power
A Sicilian Vespers AAR by Beer Money

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Introduction/Story
Catalunya: A Consolidation of Power follows on from the author's previous AAR, The Survival of Catalunya. Consolidation of Power continues on with the struggles of the budding Catalonian Kingdom. But all is not well, the Moors have returned to wage war once again, this time in greater numbers and with vengeance in their hearts. This AAR follows on from the previous one using the same mod, Sicilian Vespers. The story begins with the introduction of two new captains whose duty it is to defend and resist the initial Moorish invasion at Palma.

Writing Style
The writing style and technique of the author is one that instantly sucks you into the story. While Beer Money may be a relatively new face here on TWC, he definitely has a talent for telling a good tale and presenting it in simple pleasant way. His words draw the reader in, making you feel as if you are a silent observer to every battle, every action. He breaks up the text with small portions of dialogue to indicate his characters plans to the reader, with the results drawing further dialogue or a nice little screenshot. BM maintains his writing style and presentation throughout the entirety of the AAR up to most recent update. While it would have been nice to see a little more creativity in his presentation, showing more of himself in the way he shows us his unfolding tale, the format does not detract from the quality of the story or the writing in general. I know Beer Money has been previously criticized on that point and I would encourage the author to try and branch out a little in his next story, variety is the spice of life!

Captains Aleamme and Rogier proudly led their men into Catalan territory. The tales of defeat of the past were just that to them, the past. They had fought alongside the great Charles, descendant of Odo and Charlemagne. They knew only victory. With impunity they raided the Barcelona Noble's farms and villas for cattle, wine, and women. The men that resisted they slaughtered and those that cowered in fear they beat mercilessly then strapped them to their horses and sent them straight to the capital. Let Fortuny know of the fate that awaits him.

The above few sentences are a really excellent example of how the author has built up his story. With links to past misdemeanours and previous villains, and a deadly threat to the current nemesis. It really makes a reader feel the passion of the author, and helps them to get a sense of the struggle the Catalonians face.

Images
The one thing that really impressed me with this AAR is the amount of screenshots and pictures shown in conjunction with the story. A lot of AARtists tend to fill their writing with endless pictures that depict just about anything you can think of, from moving a merchant onto a resource to completing construction of a building. Of course you have the good pictures as well, a tough battle fought, the sacking of a city, execution of rebels etc. Beer Money has done a fantastic job of complimenting his wonderful story with only a small handful of illustrations. For example:

Ferando yelled to his troops, "The Franks before you have brought shame to your cousins, your fathers, your king! They sack our land with abandon fearing not even the retribution of God himself in the afterlife! Every man in that army is bent on your destruction, the annihilation of Catalunya and our subservience to a foreign master! Their preposterous dreams turn into a nightmare this day! We shall soon litter Hell with the souls of the damned!" Lifted by the echo of cheers, the men of Barcelona stormed the battlefield.

That little segment is just wonderful to read and that small picture really adds a great amount of realism and you feel as if you are one of the men being motivated to war. Another great example of the author's fantastic writing technique and application of images. One more thing on images, the author has scaled them down significantly, to a small size. These actually fit really nicely with the overall gist and presentation of the AAR, but people who like lots of pictures and huge images will be a little disappointed with these micro-pics. Nonetheless it is refreshing to see pictures being utilized in this manner, making them a necessary addition to the writing but not the main attraction!

Critique
What can I say, I was really impressed with this AAR. The quality of writing is top notch, the pictures are used sparingly but well. The story is excellent, drawing the reader in and making you feel like you are part of the campaign as it's being played out. As previously mentioned the AAR is let down a bit by the simple presentation, a bit more creativity and flair would only add to the quality of the AAR in general and I think it is good for every author to try different things. Like every AAR there are few small spelling mistakes, a few errors in grammar and punctuation but on the whole these are hardly noticeable and don't hurt the AAR at all. Besides, nobody is perfect!

Summary
In closing, a really fantastic AAR, a great continued work from the first instalment of the series. Well worth a read through, twice if you can manage it. I can only see this young (new) AARtist getting better and better in the future. This will be an author to watch out for, as I have a feeling Beer Money is capable of more great things and that the best is yet to come.

Review by Saint Nicholas

Harder than Krupp Steel: One man’s Journal on the Ostfront
A Close Combat AAR by Santini

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Harder than Krupp Steel is a pioneering effort on a new front in the Writer’s Study: the Non-TW AAR section. And believe me, there is ample reason for all of you readers to check out this budding section.

Our writer, Santini, was just reviewed in last month’s issue with his other AAR, A Tiger in the Balkans, set in medieval times. Next he began Harder than Krupp Steel, set in the Eastern Front during World War Two. He is working both these AARs simultaneously. Quite the ambitious effort, although for the time being he has had to take some time off.

THE GAME
You may or may not have heard of the Close Combat series. It’s a Real Time Tactical simulator; quite a good one, I might add. In this case we see Close Combat III: The Russian Front.

The perspective is top-down 2D; a sort of helicopter view. Most of Santini’s screenshots are in B&W, for a more authentic effect, but here is a color shot to give you an idea of how it works.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

This game concentrates more on tactics, less on graphics. Equipment, vehicles, and terrain are given careful attention, and there is a much greater level of realism than your average arcade-style RTS game set in WWII.

Gone are the ridiculous health points that allow units to be shot 20 times before dying (although you can see a health bar as a general reference), and human behavior is realistically modeled. This attention to detail extends right down to the individual infantryman. His equipment (which differs by squad type as well as individual function within the squad), statistics, and even medals are recorded in the game.

In short, there is a great deal of tactical depth in this game. You might think of it in terms of a comparison between the battles in Rome: Total War and Age of Empires. Yeah, you got it. Not much of a comparison, although AoE is fun in its own way.

On the strategic side, one does not exactly command a division here and there, but you can play campaigns throughout the war, which gives each battle context and significance.

So (a little off-topic) if you are interested in the time frame and game type, you will definitely enjoy this game. In Santini's words, "Graphics don't make the game." Now, let’s look at his AAR, which I think will only increase your interest in CCIII.

THE PLOT
Harder than Krupp Steel follows the journal of one Major Maximillian Santini, of the elite Grossdeutschland Regiment (initially attached to Panzer Group II) , as he fights his way through the Russian countryside.

We are introduced to this character at the outset of Operation Barbarossa (the invasion of Russia) on June 22, 1941. This regiment saw action in Moscow, Stalingrad, Kharkov, and Kursk, so you are guaranteed amazing action as the story continues.

Santini has really done his research on this one. It shows in the little details and intricacies, as well as the big picture. Santini doesn’t just skip from one titanic shoot-em-up scene to another; each step of the campaign is given, and the journal has an entry for every few days.

We read about the regiment’s progression through lesser-known engagements, such as Bolkhov and Uschakowa.

However, this story is far more than a battle report. Santini has really made the Major a real person, and captures this aspect of warfare. Often concepts like personal struggles, camaraderie, and the bond shared only by brothers in arms, are lost in war stories. It’s a difficult concept to convey, but I think that Santini has done a great job. This story, meant to be a journal, reads as exactly that.

We see the regiment in periods of training/refitting, in camp, and on the march. Santini develops the Major’s men as well, and they are characters that you can care about. The Major has a deep feeling of responsibility for all of them, and this is brought out early in the story.

STYLE
As I said, this AAR reads just like a journal. We read the Major’s reports on each step of the campaign, as well as his recollection of important battles. We also read his personal thoughts, his feelings about recent events, as well as some ideas about his fellows that he might not say out loud.

In all, the story feels very authentic and engaging.

Being that he is an officer, we also see battle plans and the like. Santini’s battle plans are quite tasteful; he uses screenshots of the game, which I think is the perfect medium. This is what makes Close Combat the ideal platform for this story.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

But those aren’t the only screenshots. Next I show you an element that really brings out this story. Santini uses a wide variety of period photographs to illustrate his story, and they are excellent.

As an example, I’ll give you a few teasers. This will give you an idea of his style, format, and show his effective use of photographs.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I think this adds an enormous measure of authenticity to the story; it's one of my favorite features. You will also noticed that Santini has photoshopped a caption into each picture, which is very helpful. Here is one shot that I thought was pretty funny, and cleverly interpreted:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

The guy in the background looks very jealous; I had to laugh.

Critique and Conclusion
In conclusion, I think this is a masterfully-done piece of work, and a new concept for the Total War community. Definitely something I would recommend to our readers. Of course, to enjoy such depth takes a fair amount of concentration.

It can be somewhat of a challenge to follow the unit in the larger perspective. I'm a history buff myself, but I still don't have much of a reference point to understand places like Yelnya and Vefremov.

Thus, I think it'd be helpful for Santini to provide an occasional "campaign map" type of thing, to give us an idea of where the regiment is, how they are doing, and showing us events in other parts of the campaign. That would really help to tie it all together, in my opinion.

Well, you've read the review. Now go read the story! Comment too; AARtists can always use a kind word. It helps keep us going. I have thoroughly enjoyed this AAR. In fact, enjoyment comes standard with this writer.

Have a good read, and enjoy the Holidays!

Review by Ariovistus Maximus

Rise of the Temple Knights
A Stainless Steel AAR by sbroadbent

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

This is a the first time effort from sbroadbent which is gathering a not insubstantial amount of praise. As the title might alert you to, it follows the the Templar Knights in the Stainless Steel Early Campaign. It is constructed in a very rigid and straight forward manner, each turn is reported on by some sort of chronicler, something which can be said of this AAR in general.

The plot is a familiar one, though that is not to say that it is a bad one. It follows the rise and struggle of the Templar Knights as they hope to subdue the Holy Land, facing off against the infidels in the process. It is helped that sboardbent lays out his goals clearly at the very beginning of his first post; we know where the story is heading and we are left in no doubt of what the motivation of the character’s is, though it is necessary since it is never made clear in the general telling of the story. Pictures only appear in the later stages of the AAR, and then infrequently, using them only for illustration purposes. They are, however, the primary media through which the battles are shown and described, with very text to go along with them. In an example of this sbroadbent says:

Grandmaster Hugues rode out to meet the enemy on the field. In a glorious victory, Hugues was rewarded the title of Aspiring Commander.

Pictures do accompany this, but I would have liked something more, and to have seen the author flex his descriptive and aesthetic writing skills a bit more.

As I said, the AAR is told in a very straight forward manner. There is no, or only ever very little, embellishment on the part of sbroadbent. The story is light, to say the least, all that we know of it is from the introduction and first post. Each action is reported back to us, and credit to sbroadbent, he tries, and largely succeeds, to frame it well. There are several glaring exceptions to this, we see in the example above that Grandmaster Hugues was rewarded with the a title. It does not read well, or fit well and shows a relative lack of imagination in working in-game events into the story, and could have been much better phrased (‘Grandmaster Hugues was recognised by all, after his recent victory, as a commander with promise, who could go on to do great things if given the chance.’).

The characters are not expanded either. We know only of Grandmaster Hugues’s exploits and his vice and virtues panel. There is no attempt to give him a sense of being a real person, which is quite disappointing. I do not want to be overly critical of sbroadbent, he shows promise after all, his writing is neat and easy to read. However, he does try to give the story some sort of narrative grounding, he has a narrator from his chosen faction explaining the factions actions or responses, which is good, but he never tries to expand on it. It is not a complaint that his skills are lacking, just that he has not used them to his fullest, and has not been at all ambitious with them. It is understandable, this is his rookie production, but it is still disappointing.

This is a solid effort, especially from a first timer. There is nothing in the AAR to complain about, it is all put together very well, for what it is. My chief complaint comes from a lack of ambition on sbroadbent’s part to make it something more. That is, of course, his choice, in what style he writes. It is very much a straight forward report of in-game events. He has, perhaps, shown the limitation of that style, there can be no better example of it. The fact that I still do not enjoy it as much as a poorer example of a more narrative style maybe says something about me, or possibly about the reporting style. But make no mistake about it, this is a good AAR, for what it is and tries to be. My only disappointment is that it does not try to be more.

Review by Junius

THERA, A New Beginning
A Romali story by Borissomeone

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Have you ever become ever so slightly tired of the straight-jacket of history? Yes, I know we change history every time we play Total War, but it is always within bounds (very tight bounds if you frequent the realism mods). For example, you only ever encounter the Aztecs when you've already effectively won the game, and of course no AI faction ever makes it to the New World to mix it up with you. In RTW, by the time you get those lovely Lorica Segmentata Imperial Legions, there isn't anyone left to fight, so you skip over to RTW:BI only to find they are long gone, replaced by rather bland Comitatenses. And so it goes on... every game seeing the same old combinations of factions duking it out in a similar way.

Well, with THERA all that has changed! Factions from widely separated time periods compete for domination on a fantasy world map. Romans, Ancient Greeks, Aztecs, Medieval Feudal Kingdoms and Eastern Steppe peoples can all come into contact, creating fresh new battle dynamics and fueling a new wide-open frontier of story-telling, freed from the familiar constraints of history-as-we-know-it.

Here is the THERA World Map...

...and a thread explaining the factions.

THERA v3 has just arrived (although it is still officially in beta), and the community entertains itself with discussion, AARs and fan-fiction. Uniquely (as far as I can tell), references to all of the THERA AARs have been collected together in a single thread. The thread even contains its own AARs, the longest of which, by Borissomeone, follows the Romuli (i.e. Roman) faction. Sadly he hasn't given it a name and it is also lacking pictures, but the text more than makes up for this.

Here are all of the completed episodes so far:
episode 1
episode 2
episode 3
episode 4
episode 5
episode 6
episode 7
episode 8
episode 9

Borissomeone's Romuli Story
The world of THERA has undergone a devastation at the hands of natural forces (weather? plague? blight?) and after a period of peace and rebuilding, the THERA factions are ready to expand and vie for dominence once again.

Maximus, and his brothers Leontius and Gallus, are legionarii of the Romuli. They belong to the garrison of a border fort so they are the first to meet the invasion from the neighbouring faction of the Uruks.

Spoiler for These are the Romuli::

Spoiler for And the Uruks look like this::

A bloody and emotionally-charged battle ensues, during which Maximus acquires a burden of guilt that affects his character deeply through subsequent events.

Things go from bad to worse for Maximus and his comrades, the Uruks come at them zombie-like in hordes, magical attacks confuse the Romuli and turn them against each other, and their indolent commander abandons them to their fate.

Undefeated, but reduced to a remnant, Maximus and his remaining comrades embark on a long retreat through heavy forest to reach the safety of the Romuli heartland. They play cat and mouse with their pursuers, the heavily armoured men of Demos. There are tricks, ambushes and desperate raids. It is during this time that the character of Maximus hardens into that of an indomitable warrior.

Critique and Conclusion
Boris paints a good picture with his descriptions and I did not feel a pressing need for screenshots, although the occasional map and illustration would not have gone amiss (of course you can find such things by digging around in the THERA forums).

He brings in humour to leaven the grimness of the central story, such as the philandering of Leontius (the reason the brothers have joined the army, drawing a nice parallel with the French Foreign Legion).

The fort commander, Muckus, is also treated with a certain amount of humour, although this is diluted somewhat by his attempted sacrifice of the whole garrison to cover his own escape.

Here is the reaction of Muckus to news of the recent battle with the Uruks.

The door opened, the two men cast their eyes across the generous figure of Aula; she walked out smiling at Leontius, her hips swaying as she walked away. Muckus watched as the two battered men walked into his office, trying to see passed them, wanting one last glance of Aula. Failing to achieve this he looked back to the two men.

‘Well what is it?’ He asked in a bored tone. Spurius reported all that had happened, by the end Muckus had an alarmed look to his eyes ‘Err…I think this matter should be reported to Arretium. I will leave at once.’ Already shuffling papers on his desk.

‘You are the only ranking officer left, you can’t leave’ Spurius said through clenched teeth.

‘I’ll write orders for you as second in command, you will hold here until word comes.’ Grabbing this and that from his desk he then pulled his cloak from the wall and left shouting orders for his lackeys to ready his horse.

Spurius and Leontius followed him out, without any written orders from Muckus, as Muckus quickly gathered his men riding off without a glance back.

There is the necessary tension within the plot required to draw readers in. For example, the effects of the Uruk battle magic are described without explanation, their cause only being revealed later. There is sufficient slaughter of named characters in the early story for the reader to be unsure whether Maximus (or indeed anyone else) will survive the forest retreat.

There are mistakes, some technical, such as saying pilums instead of pila, and some grammatical or related to flow or overuse of individual words. But I think all this can be forgiven because the story itself moves on in a satisfying manner and the characters develop enough depth for the reader to care about them.

Finally, a small warning. The story is extremely bloody, hand-to-hand fighting being described in graphic detail, plus a fair amount of robust language and a smattering of sex. So be careful who you recommend it to.

Review by Juvenal

Article Section

Roma Surrectum and Europa Barbarorum
- Mods for a budding new AARtist?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Many famous AARs on the RTW AARs scene have been made with RS - Red October's legendary Ishtar Gate and AustenBin's famous Pontic Expedition were both RS campaigns. On the other hand, it only takes a moment's glance to find plenty of EB classics like The Eastern Eagle. Of course, this is mostly due to the skill of the authors. But do the features of the mods themselves speak for anything?

An unwritten rivalry seems to have somehow developed between them. I mean, there are countless stories written with Imperium Julinaorum, Invasio Barbarorum, Rome Total Realism and, who knows, sometimes even RTW Vanilla that TWC's audiences enjoy. I could write about the suitability of these mods (and I probably will some day), but these two are the big ones, the Capulet and Montague of the RTW AAR forum. So this begs yet another question: why are they so widely used by AARtists?

In terms of playing the mods, rather than using them for writing AARs, I would say that RS has very good graphics, a detailed map and battles with plenty of bite. It feels very friendly and easy to use, which probably translates into it’s popular following with new AARtists. Not only is it easy to get going on as a beginner, but of course can be used to maximum effect by grizzled veterans such as AustenBin to create an intense visual spectacle - but then of course, the quality of the author’s writing cannot be solved by choosing the right mod

.

EB does have a large, detailed map, dynamic battles and a historical background which can give the AARtist plenty of meat - but it’s that last one that’s the most important! The emphasis truly is on the fact that it is a historical game: history is the word. Realism. It delivers superb, unrivalled historical truth. That level of depth and reality is of priceless value to any AAR writer with their thinking gear in… well, in gear.

As their strengths suit different people, they must be best for different AAR types.

Aha! The Professor has reached a conclusion!

This shall be forever known as Alexander's theory

.

RS is probably best for action packed, often picture based AARs that aim to please by assaulting the reader with pure, wide eyed, berserk spectacle. If it was at an audition, it would amaze people by sprinting through the door, drawing an Uzi or two and blowing everyone's head off in a cloud of gore and Matrix style action. People love it. EB, however, calmly walks in with an unreadable look on it's face, before unsheathing a katana and expertly, steadily, dispatching everyone, making it look effortless. That's more specific to taste but still bloody brilliant. And James Bond can do both. RS is the movies, and EB is the books. Both are as good as each other - depending on what you want.

To round up all the loose meerkats, if you're aiming to write an AAR, and you want humorous (often gritty) dialogue, sautéed in red hot pictures, then RS's action packed, clear cut history will make your mouth water. But if a strong and intellectual AAR, with strong depth and drama like the tangled web that history really was, then EB should definitely be more your bag.

But of course, it is all irrelevant IF you cannot write well or plan out your tale. The right choice between EB or RS (or of course, any other mod) may improve your AAR and take it to the next level, but it can’t make one for you in the first place.

SonOfAlexander

Writing the Game

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Hey all! Ariovistus Maximus here wishing you a Happy Holidays!

As you know, there is always a close tie between the AAR and the game we use as a platform. That’s the whole point, right? Well, of course I agree, but I would suggest to you that this relationship is often over-emphasized. In short, the game does not make the AAR, and I’d like to explain that a little bit.

All too often, writers suffer from tunnel vision. When you think of your AAR as a reflection of the game, it’s easy to unconsciously turn your story into a simple reflection of the Total War game of your choice. Now, that’s interesting if you have a REALLY good campaign going (the psychotic Timurid AARs come to mind), but I think we all know that the TW series has its limits.

Thus, many AARs are limited because they do not go beyond the game. They simply write the game. And, to be honest, that doesn’t make for particularly great storytelling. If we just want the game, we can play it ourselves, right? But we don’t read AARs for the game itself.

There are a few major elements to the AAR. The game is an important element, for sure. You probably enjoy reading historical fiction, but the AAR is special because it gives you a taste of the game you enjoy so much. The other elements are common to any story: plot, characters, setting… you know the drill.

So the game is certainly a big part of the story, but there needs to be a balance. If you ignore the game entirely, you will lose an important element. Like I said, people enjoy the connection between your story and the game they like so well. However, if everything is a reference to the game, or a simple report on your campaign progress, the AAR will lack depth; there won’t be any story to keep people coming back for more.

There is a degree of excitement to a string of battle reports, but it gets old pretty fast. Truth be told, it’s already been done quite a few times. See, a battle can be interesting, but without a story, it’s just an isolated incident without any real significance. You need to give each battle and campaign a context and an underlying storyline.

To illustrate my point, let’s create a miniature little tale, starting with a campaign from Medieval 2: Total War.

“The French fought the Spanish. Swish swish, clang clang. AAAIIIIEEEEEEE!!!”

Okay, that’s a start. Why did the French fight the Spanish?

“One day, the Spanish invaded!”

Oh; so the erratic AI decided to bother you. Well, there’s not much of a story to that. Let’s see if we can’t roleplay that a little bit.

“The Spanish were worried that I was getting too powerful, I guess.”

All right; now you have a motive. Let’s embellish it a little, shall we?

“A jealous monarch sits upon the Spanish throne, his dreams of glory and empire frustrated at every turn. Disaster has befallen the Reconquiesta; hordes of Muslim fanatics pour across the Straits of Gibraltar. But now the King of Spain sets his greedy eye upon the fertile plains of Southern France: a land unscathed by the war that has plagued his people for decades.

'Perhaps that is the answer', he thinks. 'Perhaps…'”

Hmmmm… starting to look like a story, isn’t it? And that’s just scratching the surface. The more you experiment and flex your creative muscles, the more your story-telling skills will grow!

Also, you may have noticed that the more effort you put into your story, the deeper it becomes. In the beginning, we were just talking about France. Now we realize that we need to develop our secondary characters as well, and create a background for the events we portray. Before you know it, you’ll dedicate chapters and chapters to expanding on the story you’ve created. Your product will be a deep, satisfying narrative. It won’t rely on the game to make sense, but the game will amplify the plot you’ve woven.

They key lies in your focus. Does your AAR reflect the game, or does the game reflect your AAR?

This is where planning comes in, and that’s another article in itself. You see, if you plan out your story from the beginning, you can bend the game to your will, so to speak. Consider our example above. If you just write the story as you play your AAR, you might roleplay, and you might be able to embellish the story, but the AI will still do strange, nonsensical things that interrupt the flow of your story.

However, if you plan your story out from the beginning, and have a direction in which you want it to flow, your narrative will be much more fluid, and won’t be thrown off course by crazy AI plays.

To expand on that concept, remember that your story is not tied to the game. If your campaign doesn’t make for great storytelling, guess what? Nobody needs to know! It’s your story, after all. You can very conveniently exclude any information you wish from your story; no one will be the wiser.

I find that new writers often feel that they MUST report the game at all costs. I hope that now you can see that you don’t need to be dictated by the game. You can take your story wherever you like. I have attempted here to come at the subject from multiple angles; I hope you find it helpful as you explore the wide, wonderful world of AARtistry.

In conclusion, remember that the game should supplement the story, not control it. Remember, this is your story; the possibilities are endless! Once you realize this, then the excitement really begins.

Thanks for reading, and have a great Holiday season!

Ariovistus Maximus

From the Editor's Desk

Well there it is. I'd like to thank Junius for staying on, even if not in an editorial capacity, and of course the loyal and enthusiastic writers of Critic's Quill (even if some of them have been "resting" this month

).

Let us know what you thought of the articles and reviews, we welcome feedback, and if you like what you've read then please direct your rep to the writers.

Should any of you find that you have developed an overpowering desire to write your own reviews, then do send me a PM, there may be a place on the Content Staff for you.

Farewell then... 'till the next Issue.

Juvenal

**Santini** · December 31, 2009, 10:29 AM

Well done, chappies!

**apple** · December 31, 2009, 11:30 AM

Another great issue. Well splendid work guys.

**Antiochos VII Sidetes** · December 31, 2009, 04:47 PM

Fantastic articles by Ariovistus Maximus and SoA! Enjoyed them both and agree with them wholeheartedly. SoA's comparision was apt and correct; AM, you've basically captured my writing style.

Great job to the lot of you!

**Junius** · January 03, 2010, 11:01 AM

Great issue guys, looks as good as ever, if not better.

**Solid Snake** · January 04, 2010, 12:34 PM

Awesome work

**Beer Money** · January 05, 2010, 12:27 PM

Nice work and thanks for the interview and review!

**Saint Nicholas** · January 06, 2010, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Beer Money

Nice work and thanks for the interview and review!

No, thank you for writing your AAR and being good enough to answer my interview questions!

Keep up the excellent writing my friend.

**sbroadbent** · January 07, 2010, 03:34 AM

Thanks for the review. With that said, although I don't inherently disagree with anything that was said, I think it's important to understand the perspective I wrote it from.

It's true that it's written in a straight forward manner reporting the events of the game. Early on I used some game terms (like experience

) because I wanted to convey game details I thought were important. I tried to find ways to phrase it in an immersive manner, but it wasn't a priority. Yea, I got some flak for it. I could have changed the style, to adapt to a more story-oriented viewpoint, but I wasn't writing a story...

Previous to writing this AAR, I posted several times in the Post Your Empires thread, talking about how some of my various campaigns (Norway, Venice, etc) progressed. I wanted to create a chronicle of in-game events that went more indepth than what I previously posted about in the Post Your Empires thread, framed in a narrative style to fit in among the other AARs. I think my later posts were more refined in the writing style compared to the early posts. There was a few times I felt I was writing too much "story", and did "edit" to be a bit more concise.

I also wanted to leave the AAR as a record of how an early era SS6.2 VH/VH Knights Templar game might play out, to perhaps give other players an idea on how easy or difficult it might be to play this faction.

In short, Rise of the Temple Knights was Game first, story secondary. Junius obviously prefers story as the primary focus, which I respect.

Maybe we need new AAR abbreviations. CR or CAAR for a "Campaign Report" (or GR/GAAR for a "Game Report") which is Game first, story second, and perhaps SO or SOAAR for a "Soap Opera" which is Story first, game second. It might give prospective readers a clearer indication of what they are about to read, and thus adjust their views to reflect what the author is presenting. For instance, no use leaving comments about the lack of a story in a Campaign Report

**Borissomeone** · January 07, 2010, 02:58 PM

What can I say but thankyou for the review. I'm fairly new to the writing scene, never really having the confidence before to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard so it's great to see my story reviewed. I will take the feedback and work on such things as

such as saying pilums instead of pila

and try and make the story flow better. For anyone who is interested the next part will be called the "To eat the Bear" ( I'm going to add chapter titles now) the story coming back to Maximus and the Romuli. Last thing is a big thanks to the makers of the mighty Thera mod, its really let my mind run wild. Thankyou, Boris.

**Thermal** · January 08, 2010, 04:47 PM

If anyone needs help writing these I don't mind chipping in.

**ReD_OcToBeR** · January 18, 2010, 06:23 AM

Are there known reasons why i cant read anything in the spoilers (show button does nothing). I've never had this problem and its frustrating. I want to read this quite bad lol.

**Juvenal** · January 18, 2010, 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by ReD_OcToBeR

Are there known reasons why i cant read anything in the spoilers (show button does nothing). I've never had this problem and its frustrating. I want to read this quite bad lol.

I have checked, and for me the spoilers still contain their correct contents.

Here is a list of things to try that might help:

1. Refresh your browser cache (on Firefox press F5).
2. Delete the whole browser cache via the browser menus
3. Use something like CCleaner to delete your cache and all your temporary files (make a note of all your passwords first).
4. As a last resort you might consider trying a different browser

**Lazy Knight** · January 18, 2010, 11:34 AM

wait for the browser to finish loading the page before pressing a spoiler!

You can see if loading is finished if it says so in bottom left corner usually.

**ReD_OcToBeR** · January 19, 2010, 05:56 AM

Thnx Guys,

Nothing worked except me having to use Internet Explorer instead of FireFox...Hmm, well this is a new pc, maybe there is some little program or update or patch..etc..that hasn't been installed somewhere. I love computers : D....

**Userpro** · January 22, 2010, 06:34 PM

Are there known reasons why i cant read anything in the spoilers (show button does nothing). I've never had this problem and its frustrating. I want to read this quite bad lol.

Try to reload the page ("CTRL + R" in Firefox). After that spoilers should work.