You can check the following
Furin #
8
<max_age uint="110"/>
<max_age_for_marriage_for_male uint="50"/> <---- the maximum age for a marriage proposal for a male unit, if you set this too low you might loose your family name in a bottleneck/wave, if you set it too high your younger generals will get no proposal as there are still old ones left in the upper tier, ideal should be an age when the father will still live for a while after his son is educated, so you can use the son for a different settlement instead of just replacing the father (let's say something between 35 and 40 sounds ok)
<max_age_for_marriage_for_female uint="40"/> <--- the maximum age for your female family members to marry, no need to change it if you want to get rid of females, daughters will still be in the family tree until their retirement age so this is not the number essential for removing the girls
<max_age_before_death uint="111"/> <--- the absolute max for a generals life, I've heard that the general very rarely becomes 0 instead of dieing and then will continue to live, I've never experienced that myself though
<max_age_of_child uint="10"/> <--- child = not alive, but blocks a slot
<old_age uint="50"/> <--- generals will start dieing equal and above this number
<age_of_manhood uint="16"/> <---- when a male child becomes a real general, I've lowered this to 14 so the general will finish his education at 19/20
<daughters_age_of_consent uint="14"/> <---- when female child becomes "real" female and can marry, you can leave this number at 14
<daughters_retirement_age uint="45"/> <---- this is when your daughter retires, set this to 1, the effect is that your daughter is a child for two turns and then retires without message and the slot will be available again as if she was never born, medieval post natal abortion.... You can also set it to a higher number, for example 5, then the slot will be blocked for ten turns and this leads to a wider spacing of the male children. You can vary between 1 and 13, I believe 0 makes the game crash (haven't tried) and 14 is the consent age.
<age_difference_min int="-10"/> <---- these two give a range of marriage, for example grandpa marrying juicy 14 year old, the perv...
<age_difference_max int="30"/>
<parent_to_child_min_age_diff uint="12"/> <--- the minimum difference between parent and child, pretty useless as it is already defined by age a male or female comes of age, but what the heck, I am no programmer
<min_adoption_age uint="20"/> <--- obviously the range of adoption ages, if you set the minimum age below a generals manhood age it will bug the game, you will get a manhood notification for a general already in use and it will screw up your savegame sooner or later
<max_adoption_age uint="30"/>
<max_age_for_conception uint="50"/> <---- how long can a wife get children
<age_of_manhood_close uint="14"/> <--- not really sure here, maybe a stage between child and alive status, I've lowered this by two just to make sure it matches with my lowered manhood age
<max_number_of_children uint="4"/> <--- that's the one that makes the game less stable, at least if you put something higher than 4 here, I havent tried less than 4
Some examples from other members of the community:
XSamatan #
227 Bowden #
47 Xtiaan72 #
3 Furin #
17 Johnniecash #
7

Cheers
Agis