A question for someone who believes in no sex before marriage.

[Adhamh Ashashi]

Alright, down to business.


You don't believe in sex before marriage, but I wish to ask you this. What if, you meet someone, you are truely in love, and you feel marriage is pointless,because it won't enhance your love for eachother, would you still refrain from intimate relations until you have the piece of paper in your posession.

Just wondering

[Ummon]

Sin can occur, but it is sin.

[Maca]

I feel that ideally there should be no sex before marriage, but I also know that that just isn't how it goes, and really, I don't think that it's that important. My one stronger feeling about would be to refrain from sex unless in a serious relationship, even if not married.

[Shaun]

I feel that ideally there should be no sex before marriage, but I also know that that just isn't how it goes, and really, I don't think that it's that important. My one stronger feeling about would be to refrain from sex unless in a serious relationship, even if not married.

I think that ideally people should follow their own beliefs and no sex before marriage is one of them then that's fine. But at the same time I don't see how it is ideal for everyone, including those who have no beliefs against it, to not have sex before marriage; personal choice and all that.

[Simetrical]

You don't believe in sex before marriage, but I wish to ask you this. What if, you meet someone, you are truely in love, and you feel marriage is pointless,because it won't enhance your love for eachother, would you still refrain from intimate relations until you have the piece of paper in your posession.

Of course. Marriage is not just a "piece of paper". It's a binding commitment before man and God. Intercourse before marriage is forbidden by divine edict; it's as simple as that. It has nothing to do with love. Marriage is required because God said so. Of course, he may have had good reasons as well, but that's not why we have to do it.

Why would you think anyone who opposes intercourse before marriage would think that the purpose of marriage is just to enhance love, or anything of that sort?

[Tacitursa]

My friend didnt beleive in sex before marriage so i let him watch a porno.

[Carpathian Wolf]

Alright, down to business.


You don't believe in sex before marriage, but I wish to ask you this. What if, you meet someone, you are truely in love, and you feel marriage is pointless,because it won't enhance your love for eachother, would you still refrain from intimate relations until you have the piece of paper in your posession.

Just wondering

In the Orthodox perspective marriage isn't something to "enhance love" it's a Holy sacrament binding two people's souls together into one soul and two bodies. And when sex occurs the bodies also become one. So in essence we believe the souls should become one before the bodies do.

[Musthavename]

You don't believe in sex before marriage, but I wish to ask you this. What if, you meet someone, you are truely in love, and you feel marriage is pointless,

If you don't believe in having it before marriage, then marriage is hardly pointles is it?

[Nimthill]

Personally, I don't believe in marriage before sex.

[Banana Jelly]

When I was in Bangladesh, this 5th grade teacher said that marriage was chosen with the right person, binded from the beginning.

That means you are destined to have one or more (I dunno what he said in numbers, I forgot) person to marry this particular women/man from birth.




Source: School

I would love to have sex before marriage, but its a sin and I can't do it according to my religion. You guys already know what religion I am.

[Ludicus]

I would love to have sex before marriage, but its a sin

It´s a sin to think about commiting a sin.
And I recommend, avoid touch a woman.
The bible says:
"It is good for a man not to touch a woman.Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
Oh God, make me good, but not yet!

[Ummon]

It´s a sin to think about commiting a sin.
And I recommend, avoid touch a woman.
The bible says:
"It is good for a man not to touch a woman.Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
Oh God, make me good, but not yet!

Perfection is the only acceptable result.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

But God is very ironic and has plenty of time.

[Thalassocrat]

@ Adhamh Ashash, sorry to answer a question with a question but what do you consider marriage to be? Seriously, give us your understanding of it so we can understand your context.

[Prodigal]

Marriage is a holy union, not a piece of paper. The paper means nothing(well, except for benefits).

[Adhamh Ashashi]

Oh righty, you believe that it is a holy union. Grand. I personally feel that if it is a serious relationship, not just meaningless sex, I see no problem to be honest. My opinion only.

Thanks for answering

[Monarchist]

I believe that sex outside marriage is ridiculous merely on secular grounds. Naturally (being a theist), having God tell us helps immensely, but He is not essential in this logic. Morals need the Lord, but ethics need not be directed by Divine edict - one tells us what's right, and the other tells us what works with human beings.

My logic behind not having sex before marriage is that abstention of that desire builds moral character. When a man does not engage his will to his most important organ, he learns discipline. When there is not yet marriage to chain and harness a man to one specific woman, discipline is even more important. I believe this is an ethical imperative because the more discipline you have controlling man's sexual spirit, the less capricious he will be in society. When a man is cowed into abstaining from sexual forays before he has only one woman to concentrate on, his brutish nature has been subdued. Imagine if the nature of men was let loose for one whole day, and all men acted on their sexual feelings instead of restraining themselves, as society expects. Why, I have a feeling that many women would regard that day as one of the worst days in their collective lives.

Marriage, as a legal shackles, keeps the man from promiscuity - even if he becomes adulterous, he must be very cautious and minimal in that sin, so as not to alert his wife. When there is not a marriage bond to keep a man on one woman alone, what is stopping him from going to any other women? This process of pre-marital sex can lead in dozens of unsupported babies and many ruined lives from sexual diseases. Anyway, even if a truly loving and responsible man has sex before he is married, the legal bond is not present. It is like atheism and morality, with me; you may choose a good morality, but nothing really keeps you from going to any other morality without God. Likewise, sexuality without marriage, in terms of ethics, may seem stable at one time, but it can really lead to any other woman. Hell is the punishment in the case of the former, and divorce/disgrace/financial ruin is the case in the latter. Analogies between God and anything else are imperfect, of course, but there it is.

Anyway, God said so.

[godol shmok]

Well, "sexuality on secular grounds", to say so, is private in the range of what the law prescribes. To formulate ethical requests in that respect require a mutual agreement of the participants of such requests if they are thought to be realized.

[Yosemite]

Well, "sexuality on secular grounds", to say so, is private in the range of what the law prescribes. To formulate ethical requests in that respect require a mutual agreement of the participants of such requests if they are thought to be realized.

a large ammount of people like to boast and brag on everyone's faces about the experiences they just had

this is the comportement i despise

[godol shmok]

a large ammount of people like to boast and brag on everyone's faces about the experiences they just had

this is the comportement i despise

Well, a part of this has to do with the civil marriage at many places in Europe that goes back to french legislation during the period of the napoleonic wars (Code Napoloeon). The distinction between civil and traditional marriage or the lack of the distinctive influence leads to an interesting cultural and emotional difference in the perception of customs or the relation between law and customs when it comes to sexuality in the sense of a private or a social properity. Americans have sometimes difficulties to understand this because it does not lay within the reach of their immediate experience. Some religious motivated discussions in these fields in the States and the vehemence with which they are lead, are for the same reasons not understandable from a "lazistic" "european" perspective. There are shifts in the history of mentality that are not realized to the same degree and the same fashion everywhere. So, I am not really shoked but more an observer of cultures and interactions. In general I like people.

[Andurath]

I believe that sex outside marriage is ridiculous merely on secular grounds. Naturally (being a theist), having God tell us helps immensely, but He is not essential in this logic. Morals need the Lord, but ethics need not be directed by Divine edict - one tells us what's right, and the other tells us what works with human beings.

My logic behind not having sex before marriage is that abstention of that desire builds moral character. When a man does not engage his will to his most important organ, he learns discipline. When there is not yet marriage to chain and harness a man to one specific woman, discipline is even more important. I believe this is an ethical imperative because the more discipline you have controlling man's sexual spirit, the less capricious he will be in society. When a man is cowed into abstaining from sexual forays before he has only one woman to concentrate on, his brutish nature has been subdued. Imagine if the nature of men was let loose for one whole day, and all men acted on their sexual feelings instead of restraining themselves, as society expects. Why, I have a feeling that many women would regard that day as one of the worst days in their collective lives.

Marriage, as a legal shackles, keeps the man from promiscuity - even if he becomes adulterous, he must be very cautious and minimal in that sin, so as not to alert his wife. When there is not a marriage bond to keep a man on one woman alone, what is stopping him from going to any other women? This process of pre-marital sex can lead in dozens of unsupported babies and many ruined lives from sexual diseases. Anyway, even if a truly loving and responsible man has sex before he is married, the legal bond is not present. It is like atheism and morality, with me; you may choose a good morality, but nothing really keeps you from going to any other morality without God. Likewise, sexuality without marriage, in terms of ethics, may seem stable at one time, but it can really lead to any other woman. Hell is the punishment in the case of the former, and divorce/disgrace/financial ruin is the case in the latter. Analogies between God and anything else are imperfect, of course, but there it is.

Anyway, God said so.

I agree, and could not have said this better(although at one point the reasoning gets a bit circular). All you have to do to see the result of Sex before marriage is look at the divorce rate in California. 80% Divorce after 5 years of marriage on average, and we wonder why there is violence in our schools and a high rate of high school drop outs~although that has been improving somewhat lately, I guess all those orphaned kids with 4 dads and 2 moms are getting used to it, well at 80% I suppose most of your friends have had divorced parents or have divorced parents ... divorce as the 'norm' sigh...