Atheists don't exist

[Zoroaster]

A believer went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began conversing. Both men enjoyed the exchange. They talked about many things and covered various subjects.

When the customer eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said, "I don't believe that God exists."

"Oh really," the believer replied. Why do you say that?"

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.

The customer kept his thoughts to himself to avoid an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just as he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, filthy hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber, "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" replied the barber with some surprise. "I am here and I am a barber and I just worked on you."

"No," the believer challenged. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside," he said; pointing at the window of the shop.

"Ah, but barbers DO exist," answered the barber. "What happens, is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly," affirmed the customer. "That's the point. God, too, DOES exist. What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look or Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

[A pimp named Slickback]

Thats just disgusting. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

[Zoroaster]

Thats just disgusting. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Why? All I did was to tell an anecdote.

[Taxandrius]

So god exists but every atheïst is a heretic because he doesn't "come to god" ?

I doubt it

the problem is: there is physical proof of barbers, 'cause there are people with decent hair, but did you ever seen physical proof of god ?

[A pimp named Slickback]

Why? All I told is told an anecdote.

Do you believe it's message is correct?

[Dr. Croccer]

Eh.

[GuineaPig]

Because witty anecdotes definitely prove the existence of god(s).

EDIT: Actually, reading that again makes me change my mind. It's not even a witty anecdote. It's an awful anecdote.

The story implies that if you suffer, it's because you don't believe in a god.

[mrcrusty]

Lol.

God bless you, Zoroaster.



Who am I to question the good work of trolls and alt accounts?

[Dr. Croccer]

Here you go Zoroaster.

[Habelo]

Lol if that had anything with real life to do, all those who went to the barbers would get longer and more filthy hair. OWNED

[Zoroaster]

So god exists but every atheïst is a heretic because he doesn't "come to god" ?

I doubt it

the problem is: there is physical proof of barbers, 'cause there are people with decent hair, but did you ever seen physical proof of god ?

It takes greater faith to believe that an unseen God exists than it does to just dismiss Him because you cannot physically confirm that He is there. For those who deal in evidence there is proof all around you and inside of you that God does exist. But if you really want physical proof go see someone who has gone through a miracolous healing and recovered from an "incurable" illness say cancer.

Here you go Zoroaster.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I don't need any of those but thanks. My shield is God. Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.

Do you believe it's message is correct?

What is the message in your opinion?

Lol if that had anything with real life to do, all those who went to the barbers would get longer and more filthy hair. OWNED

That sentence has not much to do with real life. You owned yourself, sorry.

[GuineaPig]

It takes greater faith to believe that an unseen God exists than it does to just dismiss Him because you cannot physically confirm that He is there. For those who deal in evidence there is proof all around you and inside of you that God does exist. But if you really want physical proof go see someone who has gone through a miracolous healing and recovered from an "incurable" illness say cancer.

I've heard people call nature "god", love "god", but I've never heard anyone refer to chemotherapy as "God".

[Zoroaster]

I've heard people call nature "god", love "god", but I've never heard anyone refer to chemotherapy as "God".

Except that chemotherapy's effect is very limited. God's curing power is unlimited. Put your faith in him and you shall see miracles unfold.

[Tankbuster]

Except that chemotherapy's effect is very limited.

True. It just makes your hair fall out. That way the infidels don't have to go the barber, since they don't exist.

Or something.

Get me out of here...

[A pimp named Slickback]

What is the message in your opinion?

Your retarded story says at the very last sentence:

"That's the point. God, too, DOES exist. What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look or Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Do you actually believe this evil crap?

[Flavius Nevitta]

Well I kinda like the story...it proofs that no omnipotent, benevolent and all-knowing barber exists

[Zoroaster]

I do not believe in the existence of atheists. No, this is not a play on words or a trick statement. Atheists don’t exist. By “atheist” I am referring to the ideal person who does not believe in the existence of God, not the person who labels themselves as an atheist. Clear as mud? All people who label themselves as “atheist” are not, by definition, atheists, because they all believe in the existence of God.

I know they believe in the existence of God by their irrational behavior. I am not referring to the inconsistency of their lives with their claims. For instance, the nonbeliever (I believe I will refer to our “atheist” friends by that term for the duration of this article) necessarily holds the belief that we are the result of time plus matter plus chance, merely evolving accidents, the product of random collisions of matter. Yet they wish to believe that these accidental collisions produce truth, fact, and a coherent understanding of the universe. They are an accident producing accidents.

The irrational behavior I am referring to is the nonbeliever’s inability to admit when they have been defeated. Many nonbelievers are well educated people. They have done well to keep Theists on the hot seat. But when a well educated man — especially one schooled in logic — has his entire belief system completely dismantled and displayed as inconsistent and false, everybody else knows that this smart person knows he has been defeated. But he refuses to concede. He will not admit defeat. Instead, he retreats to his study to continue his search for one — just one — argument or proof that God does not exist. And he will repeat this over and over.

This irrational behavior is indicative of the real issue, and that is, that God exists, they know it, and they don’t like Him. If they admit He exists, then they have to bow the knee. Their rules no longer apply, God’s law does. That law of God that is written on the heart of every man is eating them alive, and they want very badly to make Him go away so that hopefully the guilt will go away as well. And so despite the evidences to prove the existence of God and the inconsistency of their own worldview, they continue to irrationally hold on to these beliefs.

[GuineaPig]

I do not believe in the existence of atheists. No, this is not a play on words or a trick statement. Atheists don’t exist. By “atheist” I am referring to the ideal person who does not believe in the existence of God, not the person who labels themselves as an atheist. Clear as mud? All people who label themselves as “atheist” are not, by definition, atheists, because they all believe in the existence of God.

I know they believe in the existence of God by their irrational behavior. I am not referring to the inconsistency of their lives with their claims. For instance, the nonbeliever (I believe I will refer to our “atheist” friends by that term for the duration of this article) necessarily holds the belief that we are the result of time plus matter plus chance, merely evolving accidents, the product of random collisions of matter. Yet they wish to believe that these accidental collisions produce truth, fact, and a coherent understanding of the universe. They are an accident producing accidents.

The irrational behavior I am referring to is the nonbeliever’s inability to admit when they have been defeated. Many nonbelievers are well educated people. They have done well to keep Theists on the hot seat. But when a well educated man — especially one schooled in logic — has his entire belief system completely dismantled and displayed as inconsistent and false, everybody else knows that this smart person knows he has been defeated. But he refuses to concede. He will not admit defeat. Instead, he retreats to his study to continue his search for one — just one — argument or proof that God does not exist. And he will repeat this over and over.

This irrational behavior is indicative of the real issue, and that is, that God exists, they know it, and they don’t like Him. If they admit He exists, then they have to bow the knee. Their rules no longer apply, God’s law does. That law of God that is written on the heart of every man is eating them alive, and they want very badly to make Him go away so that hopefully the guilt will go away as well. And so despite the evidences to prove the existence of God and the inconsistency of their own worldview, they continue to irrationally hold on to these beliefs.

This guy is a wonderful troll.

Not only are your arguments worthy of the most ignorant theist (OMG! HOW CAN THEY SAY IT'S JUST CHANCE!?!?!?!?1111) but the fact that you claim to know what we actually believe, is just awesomely arrogant.

[Orko]

I do not believe in the existence of atheists. No, this is not a play on words or a trick statement. Atheists don’t exist. By “atheist” I am referring to the ideal person who does not believe in the existence of God, not the person who labels themselves as an atheist. Clear as mud? All people who label themselves as “atheist” are not, by definition, atheists, because they all believe in the existence of God.

Mind you, I DO NOT believe in god, and I exist.
Keep it clean

Fine' I'll get with mine as well:
I do not believe in the existence of theists. No, this is not a play on words or a trick statement. theists don’t exist. By “theist” I am referring to the ideal person who does believe in the existence of God, not the person who labels themselves as an theist. Clear as mud? All people who label themselves as “theist” are not, by definition, theists, because they all don't believe in the existence of God.

I hope that settles it.

[A pimp named Slickback]

I do not believe in the existence of atheists. No, this is not a play on words or a trick statement. Atheists don’t exist. By “atheist” I am referring to the ideal person who does not believe in the existence of God, not the person who labels themselves as an atheist. Clear as mud? All people who label themselves as “atheist” are not, by definition, atheists, because they all believe in the existence of God.

I know they believe in the existence of God by their irrational behavior. I am not referring to the inconsistency of their lives with their claims. For instance, the nonbeliever (I believe I will refer to our “atheist” friends by that term for the duration of this article) necessarily holds the belief that we are the result of time plus matter plus chance, merely evolving accidents, the product of random collisions of matter. Yet they wish to believe that these accidental collisions produce truth, fact, and a coherent understanding of the universe. They are an accident producing accidents.

The irrational behavior I am referring to is the nonbeliever’s inability to admit when they have been defeated. Many nonbelievers are well educated people. They have done well to keep Theists on the hot seat. But when a well educated man — especially one schooled in logic — has his entire belief system completely dismantled and displayed as inconsistent and false, everybody else knows that this smart person knows he has been defeated. But he refuses to concede. He will not admit defeat. Instead, he retreats to his study to continue his search for one — just one — argument or proof that God does not exist. And he will repeat this over and over.

This irrational behavior is indicative of the real issue, and that is, that God exists, they know it, and they don’t like Him. If they admit He exists, then they have to bow the knee. Their rules no longer apply, God’s law does. That law of God that is written on the heart of every man is eating them alive, and they want very badly to make Him go away so that hopefully the guilt will go away as well. And so despite the evidences to prove the existence of God and the inconsistency of their own worldview, they continue to irrationally hold on to these beliefs.

What the is this guy talking about?