Post your funny moments in RTW

[Genius of the Restoration]

What are some of the funnier moments you've seen in Rome?

One of mine happened the other day when I was attacked by a Spanish army that had reinforcements. To my amusement the reinforcements had come into the battlefield behind some rocks and couldn't move at all, so after I'd destroyed the main army I sent my missile troops over to the rocks and shot them for the rest of the battle

A second moment occurred after a seige against the Romans. Two of my units went from full strength of 41 men down to 1 by the end of the battle. Strangely enough the ones that were lost were all healed. Even crazier, my sole unit of Chosen Swordsmen, the ones chosen to be the first through the gate and into the sandwich of three units of Principes, was healed from having no survivors to a full complement! I never knew ancient British folk medicine was so effective...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Scutarii]

Yeah, I've had the first one happen a lot in the mod ExRM (outside Athens, the battlemap spawns reinforcements every time behind a rock. Ah well, easy pickings). The second one I get all the time with lighter troops. If they get devastated by missile troops or something, there's a higher chance of them coming back...

[Seleucid king]

My funniest happened in my Armenian campaign when the Egyptians tried to offer the "Protecterate" status for me. The Egypt diplomat said:

"The Great Pharoah claims: 'All your base are belong to us!' If you wish to live, you will protect us."(or something like that)

[Scutarii]

My funniest happened in my Armenian campaign when the Egyptians tried to offer the "Protecterate" status for me. The Egypt diplomat said:

"The Great Pharoah claims: 'All your base are belong to us!' If you wish to live, you will protect us."(or something like that)

I almost died laughing when I first got that.

[Ascarona]

I haven't played RTW so much, but this is just hillarious

[KnightOfSeleucid]

genius of the restoration that first happened the exact same way as me at the same spot too
and seleucid king that also happened to me

[C-Rob]

OP, those chosens are awesome! Necro Chosen Swordsmen!

[Davi535]

My favorite moment from RTW was when I made a custom battle with me as the Carthaginians and my enemy as the Julii. Since I was bored, I gave myself one unit of armored elephants and the Julii a full army of peasants on one of the bridge maps. As they started to cross the bridge, I sent my elephants charging into their forward units. When the elephants hit their front line, the peasants started to absolutely FLY back across the bridge and it looked like blood spurting from a wound. Not particularly unique, but it's always stood out in my mind.

[Turok]

Defending a tiny fort with some romans. I was losing badly as the enemy pushed through the gate. As a suicide mission I charged my 2 cavalry units into the scrum only to see them taking hardly any casualties and destroying and routing pretty much a whole army. I was quite pleased as you can imagine

[Seleucid king]

Once, when playing a Custom battle (Carthage vs. Numidia, Seige, Large stone walls), when the enemy infantry reached the walls in the towers, the ENTIRE enemy army immediately retreated. It did the same thing when I replayed the battle!

[XxAndrewxX]

How do you defend a city in a custom battle? I can't seem to figure it out..

[Genius of the Restoration]

Choose a map that allows the battle to be a siege assault. One of the city maps or grassy flatland for example. Then when you are choosing your faction you will see a red shield next to what team (I, IV etc) you are on. By default the other team is the defender. Simply click on the shield next to your faction and you will be defending

[|Sith| Max]

my funniest moment was probably when i routed two 30 K armies with my 15 k scythia in a 2v1. it was supposed to be a 2v2 but they forgot to team up and my ally said "betcha ya cant take em both on." man those ppl got owned. i think i still have that screenshot...

[Kroot9525]

When I fought against the Brutii as the Greeks, and ended up winning but losing everyone except a single peltast. Just one guy left from my entire army. That was one of the closest battles I've ever fought. It was funny to run him around the battlefield and hear a chorus of invisible people acknowleding my order whenever I moved him.

[Dust be in Thy Mouth, Infidel!]

I suppose an onager shot only taking out one man in a unit........my captain.

[Genius of the Restoration]

@Doge Vitale
Those are the best moments when they're in your favour. The look on the other bugger's face when you land that lucky onager shot that kills his general and starts a rout is simply priceless!

[Sextus Molestus]

Not extremely funny, more of an exploit, but whatever. As the Greek Cities, Macedon was besieging one of my large towns with a superior army. I fought extremely well, holding them off on all flanks for quite some time, but eventually, after taking many Macedonians with them, my units began to dwindle in numbers. They fought once again for their lives at the square, with my general aiding them, but at last, all hope was lost. In a bit of roleplaying, I rode my general out of the city and to the edge of the map while the last few defenders died and the Macedonian 3 minute timer started, as if he was fleeing to escape (although this is impossible). Then the 3 minute timer begins ticking in my favor as well (albeit after the Macedonian one had started), as the battle had lasted so long that it was nearly out of time! I rode the general back in and with a valiant charge disrupted the Macedonian timer for an instant to put mine in the lead, and then retreated out of the city once more, winning the battle.

Just a tad bit unrealistic, I think, but hell, it saved my campaign.

[Scutarii]

I did that in XGM... I was the GCS, and the Seleucids attacked my new city of Pergamon with a 3/4 stack... And my army campaigning in Asia Minor was away besieging Ephesus. They used Elephants to break the walls, and I was prepared for my general to make a last stand in the center... But I remembered the 3:00 they needed to hold the square for. Since the city was a Huge City, and the square was massive, I stuck it on triple speed, and ran the general's bodyguard from point to point, and the entire enemy army just followed him around.

[Praefectus praetorio]

Yeah, the siege battle are sometimes weird. I was once in RS campaign besieging Philippopolis with full stack against enemy's full stack (I was Rome and the enemy was Macedon). I decided to attack and battle was very tough. I had only 60 minutes to capture the city so I had to hurry bit. Eventually after losing lots of men I managed to push the remaining opponents to the main square. But I was not fast enough and the timer ran out just 1-2 seconds before killing the last defender. Timer disappeared and I tough I won because there was no one left and my troops were already celebrating but I was wrong: a message came up and told me that I STILL LOST, even when there was no one in opponents army alive and all towers + square were mine. But when I tried to click continue, the game crashed... lol

EDIT: I found a screenshot about it (The timer in corner is the "holds square for 3 mins", not the "3 minutes left"). I wonder why it says 273 men left in Macedon army... They must be good healers

[Flavius Alberticus]

Once the enemy under-dug and collapsed my wall. I told my archers to move toward the center of the city. They walked off the wall and died.

I lost.