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  1. #1
    SonOfAlexander's Avatar I want his bass!
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Quote Originally Posted by Fixiwee View Post
    A couple of questions.

    • Is the style of telling the battle believable?
    • Is the cutting of the pictures okay? Or should I use a defined format (since every picture has different measures)?
    • Should I use larger letters? Is it too hard to read?
    • Yes, definetley, but the few grammar mistkaes and the mention of 'goddamn' need to be smoothed out in that guy's conversation - please, keep it! Just find a more ancient sounding insult or whatever...
    • Yeah, I like the cutting but 2 points that will make a BIG improvement - 1, press 'Enter' before taking them to get rid of the green highlighter and move your cursor out of the way unless you need that little info thing to appear when you hover over a unit
    • The colours/fonts etc. are excellent in my opinion. Please keep it as it is , bigger would make it look babyish and amateurish, and I love the mix of colours, etc.
    Really good going! You've proved (to me certainly) that the battles are as good as the history.

    B loody well done ! I'd give you another rep if I could, but I'll have to wait...
    Please come see the BAARC
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    Ariovistus Maximus: "Google supplieth all."
    [Multi-AAR] Caelus Morsus Luminius

  2. #2

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Quote Originally Posted by SonOfAlexander View Post
    • Yes, definetley, but the few grammar mistkaes and the mention of 'goddamn' need to be smoothed out in that guy's conversation - please, keep it! Just find a more ancient sounding insult or whatever...
    • Yeah, I like the cutting but 2 points that will make a BIG improvement - 1, press 'Enter' before taking them to get rid of the green highlighter and move your cursor out of the way unless you need that little info thing to appear when you hover over a unit
    • The colours/fonts etc. are excellent in my opinion. Please keep it as it is , bigger would make it look babyish and amateurish, and I love the mix of colours, etc.

    Really good going! You've proved (to me certainly) that the battles are as good as the history.

    B loody well done ! I'd give you another rep if I could, but I'll have to wait...
    Ad 1) Yeah the grammar mistakes are probably a big problem of mine. I'm using a spell and grammar checker, but I'm getting somewhat blind to my own text. Spending 3-4 hours at a battle text like that and I'm not able to see any mistakes anymore. Also I already changed the "goddamn" part.
    Ad 2) Agreed. I need to take care of my cursor. I'm still a newbie at taking screenshots and editing them
    ad 3) Alright. Cheers!

    Thanks for the critics. Keep em coming. I'm willing to improve

  3. #3

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Quote Originally Posted by Fixiwee View Post
    A couple of questions.

    • Is the style of telling the battle believable?
    • Is the cutting of the pictures okay? Or should I use a defined format (since every picture has different measures)?
    • Should I use larger letters? Is it too hard to read?
    1. Very believable. I really like the pictures; They feel like a history book, with the arrows showing troop movement.
    2. I do like the differentiated pictures. They each portray a different feeling or important fact, and the pictures do a good job of showing what is important.
    3. The font is fine.

    Over all, a great AAR. Cut out the spelling and grammatical errors and it is definately one of my favorites.
    Alea Iacta Est (The Die is Cast) - Gaius Julius Caesar
    An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep - Alexander the Great
    We will either find a way, or make one - Hannibal Barca

  4. #4
    Edward lV's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Arthurian Total War would be good for the British one.

  5. #5

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    I asume this is your first AAR and it is already a great one,you have some talent.
    One of the few to still have his first avatar in place here on TWC.
    I sometimes miss this place you know. This is where my journey began.


  6. #6

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Quote Originally Posted by master412160 View Post
    I asume this is your first AAR and it is already a great one,you have some talent.
    Why thank you.
    This is indeed my first AAR so I have still a lot to learn.

    Anyway, I also wanted to state that this idea of "alternative history" combined with mutliple mods has been in my mind for nearly 2 years.

    And everyone who proposed some addiational mods; thanks, I will most definitly look into them.

  7. #7
    Legio's Avatar EMPRESS OF ALL THINGS
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    I love this AAR so far, keep it up.

  8. #8

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
    -Bertrand Russell


    King Kūrus faces King Nabu-na'id



    The world in 553. The Persians can be seen in purple, the Babylonians in blue and the Medians in green.

    Excerpt from “Life and Death of Kūrus” by Professor James Marshal, Chicago, 1994

    After his surpising victory at Susim King Kūrus had an army that proved themselves worthy in battle and an enemy who provoked him into war. Since we do not have Vidarnas account on the war against the city of Babylon itself the exact reconstruction of the campaign is uncertain to a degree. We do however have fragments of the annual reports of the city of Babylon itself and Demonstenes account.



    We can reconstruct that the Babylonian king did not have any inner defenses and his manpower of emergency troops were depleeted because of the war against Egypt. For king Kūrus, the whole Babylonian empire lay befor him ready to be taken. But it seems that Kūrus did not have the necessary military power to occupy the key cities and after all the Babylonian king was still sitting on a throne in the capital. So Kūrus had to get rid of Nabu-na'id first, but he knew that in the east the Babylonians had their main army ready for retaliation. His march on Babylon was not without danger.

    Demostenens of Ancyle – History of the greeks
    (written at about 420-400 BC)

    From book V:
    [...]
    54. It is not without troubles for me reconstructing what happened at the walls of Babylon, because there is much myth and little actual knowledge passed on. I will therefor remain to the facts I believe to be true.
    55. When King Kūrus reached the walls of Babylon he was so impressed by the height and thought of them to be unbreachable. So he ordered his man to lay siege and let no man and no woman in or out of the city. The army remained like this for months and Nabu-na'id was in a desperate situation because there were no supplies stored in the city. Some soldiers, old and young, still loyal to their king, gathered from the surroundings of Babylon to help Nabu-na'id. It was then that the old man on the Babylonian throne saw his desperate last chance to strike on Kūrus. But his soldiers were starved, weak and without morals, the men of Kūrus were well fed and felt strong within their numbers.
    56. So it came to the first battle of Babylon, it was the year when Solon died [553 BC]. There is no existing account of the battle, the only thing that is sure that the Babylonians lost. The king fled in disgrace from the field, hunted by the persian riders.
    57. Nabu-na'id made it back to the city, but the will of the people had turned against him. As the ruler rules over a people so they can be happy, the unhappy people will take this position away from the ruler as they please. This is the reason why Nabu-na'id was slain by his once loyal people.




    The Nabu-na'id flees from the Persian army - Oil painting by Marcell Mardot, Louvre, Paris

    Continuing “Life and Death of Kūrus”

    We are happy to have the account of Demostenes, even though his rhetoric on the assassination of the Babylonian king is strongely influenced by his democratic ideals. It is more likely though that the king was slain by his own guards, ordered by the remaining city council[56]. The walls of Babylon alone were not enough to stop the Persian king, so the city council opened their gates and hailed them their new leader.


    King Kūrus entering the city of Babylon

    The ancient metropolis of Babylon was now the biggest city in the young Persian empire. Even though the king had to deal with minor unrest the following months he seemed to win the hearts and minds of the citizens by his policy of tolerance. He released the remaining Jewish slaves to their freedom and let them choose wether they wanted to go home back to their kingdoms or stay in the city. Kūrus was a pious man who believed in religion to serve mankind for the greater good [57], but he also reduced squalor and mischief by this rather unexpected move.


    Reconstruction of Babylon. Note that the defences of Babylon are on of the best in the world of their time.

    But the capturing of the city of Babylon was not the end for the Babylonian empire. In the east, as mentioned before, was still a large Babylonian army, and the commanders were both sons of Nabu-na'id. His oldest son, Mandaru, was now the new king of Babylon and determined to retake the city. He sent envoys to the kingdom of Media, who agreed to send troops to aid Mandaru, since they grew suspicious about the Persians[58].


    Mandaru gathering in the east to march on Babylon

    It was now clear that the toughest battle for Kūrus was yet to come. With a huge Babylonian army coming from the Egyptian campaigns and support coming from the Medians in the north, all the sudden Kūrus found himself in a difficult and dangerous position. All he could do was to get his army ready to fight once more...

  9. #9

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Very nice, once again. I have a question though: Do those excerpts come from actual books or are you making them up?
    Alea Iacta Est (The Die is Cast) - Gaius Julius Caesar
    An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep - Alexander the Great
    We will either find a way, or make one - Hannibal Barca

  10. #10

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    I'm making everything up. None of those person exist.

  11. #11

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Excellent.
    The spelling errors are (almost) gone. And I really like the "historical" passages, they look real, especially with the pictures.
    Keep up the good work. +rep

  12. #12

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Great AAR, +Rep I can't wait to see how this goes.



  13. #13

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Thanks for the positive critics. The next update is already halfway done and I should be able to post it by tomorrow.

  14. #14
    johnhughthom's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    This really makes me want to try Rise of Persia, unfortunately I can't get it to work with my Steam RTW. Keep it up.

  15. #15

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    "Do not throw the arrow which will return against you."
    - Kurdish Proverb


    Battles of history with Patrick Goodwin
    Second battle at Babylon 552 BC


    [Army camp in a valley. The vegetation is green and a lot of flowers can be seen. Two Babylonian soldiers stand guard at the Kings tent.]








    King Mandaru [speaking to his half-brother Puzur-Ashur]: We should not make the same mistake as our father - we are not allowed to underestimate the Persians. They may seem like idiotic primitive hillman to our soldiers, but their king is one hell of a man.
    Puzur-Ashur: So what do you propose then? The priests said that the oracles are not good.
    King Mandaru: Screw those holy man!
    Puzur-Ashur: Brother, watch your tone. I already told you seven thousand times not to mock the priests. Those omens are important to the men. You know they wont fight with the omens.
    King Mandaru: I am sorry my brother. You are right, I'm just worried. We should hope that the Gods are on our side. But on the other hand, we need to continue moving. Babylon is rightfully ours, and without it no one will take my title as king serious. So we just continue to march on Babylon, with prayers in our heart and maybe the Gods will show us a path.


    Goodwin: The year is 552 BC and King Kūrus had taken the capital of the Babylonian empire. But the Babylonians are not willing to go down without a fight. The two brothers Mandaru and Puzur-Ashur swore to revenge the death of their father and started to move their forces stationed at the border to Egypt in the direction of Babylon. The Persian king Kūrus was not idling in the meantime. He was aware of Mandarus plans and mustered his forces filling his ranks with new recruited Babylonians willing to fight for their new master. The Persian army was about to become the first multi ethnical army of the world. Kūrus moved the main body of his army a few days to the north, letting Kurus and his brother march onto Babylon. When the two brothers reached the city they found it half empty and no Persian army opened the gates to meet the Babylonians in battle.

    [King Kūrus standing under a Cypress tree instructing his generals.]
    King Kūrus: ...with that being the main objective. So we absolutely need the help from Dādarsi and his troops we left behind in the city. Without them Mandarus army is superior in numbers. I will send one of my best mans to sneak into the city and tell Dādarsi when to attack. Let us pray to Auramazdā that the messenger wont get caught.
    Scarred General: What are we going to do against the chariots hand heavy armored infantry. We have nothing like that?
    King Kūrus: Our archers will do the job. Our arrows can penetrate any armor. If Mandaras is clever, he will try to get us in hand to hand combat as soon as possible, so he wont lose too many of his soldiers standing on the field. And the problem is, Manduras is a sharp man, so we need to use our riders to engage and drag him into skirmishes to occupy his troops.



    So it happened that the Persians where facing the Babylonians once again in battle. The armies had chosen a piece of land with enough space to maneuver. The Babylonians would try to use their chariots to frighten and rout the enemy, while the Persians would once again use their superior bowmen to inflict heavy casualties before the Babylonian Infantry would reach their line.






    King Mandaru: Allright men. Do as we told you and you will live to see the night. Be sure to follow your officers, remember, we are trying to break their lines. So we do not attack until we found a weak spot that we can exploit. [to his half-brother] So lets revenge the death of our father.





    As Kūrus feared, the Babylonian army is moving with great speed towards the line. They are trying to shock them into making a mistake, but Kūrus orders his man to hold the line at all cost.





    Kūrus sends his skirmishers out off the flanks to harras the enemy to stop them from advancing too fast.





    Rider: Keep your distance men! Keep your distance! Men! Stop! We need to keep the distance, we are...
    [Arrors and spears start to rain on the Persian riders. Men get killed and fall of the hourses]

    Rider: Damn! Retreat men. Retreat. There's too many of them.





    The Babylonians win the first move by routing the Persian Riders. Those are the Riders that caused massive panic to the Babylonians at the Battle of Susim.



    Persian elite soldiers waiting for the enemy.

    But Kūrus remains calm and orders his archers to start firing on the enemy. His archers are far more experienced and are able to shoot from a greater distance then the Babylonian archers.


    Puzur-Ashur [to his chariot soldiers]: This is the time for the maneuver, we need to flank them and kill the archers. For ...
    [An arrow hits Puzur-Ashur in the face. There is little blood at first, but he imidiatley falls from his moving royal chariot. Puzur-Ashur is dead.]

    Once again arrows rain down from the sky like a massive thunderstorm. And for some reason the Babylonians are not trying to confront the Persians. They are still waiting for the Persians to charge and make a mistake.




    Babylonian archers and riders being slaughtered.


    King Mandaru: What is he doing? Why is that fool of an ape not attacking? He is getting slaughtered out there. Prepare the man to charge.

    Kūrus is ordering his man to wait for another wave of arrows from his man and orders them to move. Mandarus men are already weakend by a great deal.




    The Persian army start a full charge attack on the Babylonians.


    Running soldier: Chaaaaaaaaaaarge.





    Mandarus is unlucky. Kūrus does not make any major mistake, he charges without a flaws in his formation.





    A fierce and bloody hand to hand battle starts. The Persians are facing experienced heavy armored infantry in scale mail.





    But Kūrus knows exactly what to do. He stands close to his troops and gives orderes where ever he can.





    Casualties are high on both sides so far. The Persian riders are unable to break the will of the Babylonians, and their heavy infrantry is able to hold the line for now.





    The battle goes on for several hours and the Babylonians are loosing more and more man. A Persian victory is at hand. As the Persian army is butchering their way through the enemy lines Mandaru realizes that he is unable to win this battle. He sounds for a retreat.





    Officer: My king. The enemey gave the sign for retreat. What are your orders?
    King Kūrus: Let them run, I'll finish Mandaru off another day. Our forces are weakend and exhausted too, we don't have enough men to chase them.
    Officer: Yes my king!





    Kūrus defeated the Babylonian army once again. If the historic sources are correct, Kūrus was even able to kill thrice as many men as Mandaru. For the next months Persian influence would spread over the Babylonian empire. But as long as Mandaru lived Kūrus was not be able to conquere the empire as a whole.


    Second battle at Babylon:
    Persians:
    Soldiers: 24.000 - Lost: 6.000


    Babylonians:
    Soldiers: 26.000 - Lost: 18.000

  16. #16

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    nice.
    Caius Valerius Messala
    Patrician

  17. #17
    Edward lV's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Wow, for A n00b you sure know how to write
    Ah im messing with you. Great so far.

  18. #18
    SonOfAlexander's Avatar I want his bass!
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Ditto that comment
    Please come see the BAARC
    Proud Member of the Critic's Quill & ES content staff
    Under the benificient and omniscient patronage of Carl Von Döbeln
    Bono: "Let me tell you something. I've had enough of Irish Americans who haven't been back to their country in 20 or 30 years, and tell me about the 'Resistance', the 'Revolution' 'back home'. The 'glory' of the revolution, and the 'glory' of dying for the revolution. F *** THE REVOLUTION!!!"
    Ariovistus Maximus: "Google supplieth all."
    [Multi-AAR] Caelus Morsus Luminius

  19. #19
    Legio's Avatar EMPRESS OF ALL THINGS
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    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Great AAR. I enjoy reading it.

  20. #20

    Default Re: [Multi-AAR] - History of men

    Very glad you people like it so far. Even my amateur drawings don't seem to bother you.

    Also I had a couple of ideas I will be working on. Since this is a parallel world I am able to do a lot of additional stuff. For example I thought about making a pseudo comic based movie-story called "500" [working title] where 500 Spartans defeat a huge Persian army. And of course all those fictional professional historians would go crazy about it while most people would just enjoy it.

    But one step at a time.

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