Your favourite Bible passage

[VALIS]

2 Kings 2:23-24

"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald-head; go up, thou bald-head.

And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tore forty and two children of them."

There are a multitude of insane violent passages in the Bible that I thoroughly enjoy, however this one takes the cake. It's just so trivial and bizarre that it deserves special mention over any other passages imo. Some kids make fun of a bald man (calling him a baldy basically) and God just gets all pissed off and conjures two giant bears out of nowhere that mauls these kids to shreds!

[Veni]

Deuteronomy 22:28-29

If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

Yahweh's gift to rapists !

Exodus 21:7-11

When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment.

Yahweh supporting slavery.

[Phier]

Exodus 21:7-11

When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment.

Yahweh supporting slavery.

Actually this would be an early form of womens rights.

[Aldgarkalaughskel]

I don't think quoting a few passages taken out of context without an explanation or commentary provided make much sense. That's why I will quote a psalm here, that is a stand-alone prayer or poem, meaningful in itself. This is my favorite, Psalm 139.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Flame away.

[Veni]

Are you trying to justify what i'm quoting?

[Veni]

No wonder why the southerns used the Bible to justify their slavery.

[VALIS]

Ahh the good ol "taken out of context" excuse, the oldest and worst of all excuses!

[Ariovistus Maximus]

Ahh the good ol "taken out of context" excuse, the oldest and worst of all excuses!

So by passing his point off as an excuse makes the point invalid? Well, why don't I respond by saying,

"Ahh, the good ole "that's just an excuse" excuse, the oldest and worst of all excuses!"

Umm, I don't think I need to tell you that this can go on... and on...

So why did God have people killed? They were bad. They had their chance to be good, they threw it away, so they died. In fact, once a prophet (I think) asked why God didn't destroy the Amorites.

God said, "The iniquity of the Amorites is not yet full." God had decided to wait and give them a chance. Now, did God KNOW that the Amorites WOULD continue to sin until their iniquity WAS full? Yes, He knew they would continue in sin, but He decided to wait. He gave them a chance even though He KNEW they would take it!

So why can't God NOT give a chance to some other people? Obviously He knew that they wouldn't take it if He gave it to them.

If God is God, why question Him? And if you don't believe in Him, then obviously you will be much to stubborn to hear what God says.

[Aldgarkalaughskel]

You didn't counter my point. By the way, I predict this will be yet another unoriginal and meaningless "bash the bible, because it's cool" thread with hundreds of comments and no real topic at all.

[Aldgarkalaughskel]

You didn't raise a point. Simply threw the "out of context" excuse. I'd like to hear you explain why the passage is out of context though.

And no, I love the Bible, specifically the Old Testament, so full of insane anger and violence, it of course appeals to my adolescent angst. Yahweh rocks! These are genuinly my favourite passages. If you prefer the more peaceful parts then thats up to you!

My point is: the Old Testament is obviously full of uninteresting or shocking stories, rigorous laws and traditions of Judaism. It is rather a history book or a compilation of contemporary reports on the way of contemporary living than a religious text, and therefore trying to ridicule it by copypasting google-crafted quotes taken out of their context and without providing proper interpretation for the sake of religion-bashing is kinda lame. Anyway, I prefer the New Testament, with a different kind of God: loving and not vengeful.

[VALIS]

My point is: the Old Testament is obviously full of uninteresting or shocking stories, rigorous laws and traditions of Judaism. It is rather a history book or a compilation of contemporary reports on the way of contemporary living than a religious text, and therefore trying to ridicule it by copypasting google-crafted quotes taken out of their context and without a providing proper interpretation for the sake of religion-bashing is kinda redundant. Anyway, I prefer the New Testament, with a different kind of God: loving and not vengeful.

Nah...NT is for wimps. OT is where it's at.
However I think God of the NT is just as vengeful, in OT when you were dead you were dead. Now in the NT and the advent of Hell, boom, thats it, eternal torture. At least in the OT when you died Yahweh could no longer get at you!

But I find it interesting that you said God changed, how can a perfect being change?

[Arch-hereticK]

No way, the OT is way cooler. Except all the names, too many names. I only read the new testament cause the first one was so gripping, but the sequels are always hard. A prequel would be good tho, turn it into a trilogy Or at least do a remake of the original with proper grammar and some pictures.

But I do believe the bible's message is good and the world would probably be a better one if everyone read it.

[Draco Borealis]

No way, the OT is way cooler. Except all the names, too many names. I only read the new testament cause the first one was so gripping, but the sequels are always hard. A prequel would be good tho, turn it into a trilogy Or at least do a remake of the original with proper grammar and some pictures.

But I do believe the bible's message is good and the world would probably be a better one if everyone read it.

Try the muslim Koran; olthough I call it a badly done case of plagiarism. Of course our brave atheists won't make a thread about barbarity of Quran, hadiths or sunna which are BTW still the fundation and core of laws in many muslim countries. Unlike Torah. Yes it woud be rascist and/or threatening the social peace and harmony and dangerus too.

[VALIS]

Try the muslim Koran; olthough I call it a badly done case of plagiarism. Of course our brave atheists won't make a thread about barbarity of Quran, hadiths or sunna which are BTW still the fundation and core of laws in many muslim countries. Unlike Torah. Yes it woud be rascist and/or threatening the social peace and harmony and dangerus too.

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showt...light=muhammad

Go to this thread, I am highly critical of Islam and I attack Muhammad many times.

Duke,

I could see the point if what you put to writing was in the Bible KJV or NIV. But why not exaggerate? Is that not normal for the mockers of this world?

I don't follow. What I am writing are KJV translations. And I'm not exaggerating one ounce. You can go and look up the passages themselves.

The essence of God is never changing as it is not limited to space and time. The outer world, the creations of God are changing though, yet they are still part of God. Humans perceive God differently from time to time, based on their culture, history, etc. but most importantly how they view themselves. Jews viewed themselves as a chosen people based on their race/ethnicity, therefore they viewed God as a warmongering/vengeful guy.

No, I think they viewed God as warmongering and vengeful because the OT clearly shows that he is warmongering and vengeful.
And anyway what something is and how something is perceived is still different. How people perceive God can change but that doesn't mean that Gods essence changes. And I find it odd that Gods perfect and never changing essence changes from being pretty angry and vicious to being peaceful and loving in the NT (although I would dispute that)

[The Dude]

Try the muslim Koran; olthough I call it a badly done case of plagiarism. Of course our brave atheists won't make a thread about barbarity of Quran, hadiths or sunna which are BTW still the fundation and core of laws in many muslim countries. Unlike Torah. Yes it woud be rascist and/or threatening the social peace and harmony and dangerus too.

Clearly you've been missing out on discussions in the Political Mudpit and Academy.

[Caucasus]

Try the muslim Koran; olthough I call it a badly done case of plagiarism. Of course our brave atheists won't make a thread about barbarity of Quran, hadiths or sunna which are BTW still the fundation and core of laws in many muslim countries. Unlike Torah. Yes it woud be rascist and/or threatening the social peace and harmony and dangerus too.

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=223367

Have a try.

[Tigrul]

I predict this will be yet another unoriginal and meaningless "bash the bible, because it's cool" thread with hundreds of comments and no real topic at all.

No, this will be another "bash the bible because it has offered a lot of reasons to be bashed" thread. If the bible hadn't had commandments such as the one asking for evil sons to be stoned to death by the whole village, then maybe there would be no basis for bashing the bible.

It's not a matter of doing what's cool, it's a matter of giving to something what something had coming to it. It can even be said that the bible did it to itself. (the bible's authors did it to the bible)

[VALIS]

Heres another one

1 Samuel 15 1-3

Samuel also said unto Saul, The LORD sent me to anoint thee to be king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the LORD. Thus saith the LORD of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt. Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.

2 Chronicles 21 18-19

"And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease.
And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of two years, his bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died of sore diseases."

lawl! Yahweh pwning some noob!

You didn't counter my point. By the way, I predict this will be yet another unoriginal and meaningless "bash the bible, because it's cool" thread with hundreds of comments and no real topic at all.

You didn't raise a point. Simply threw the "out of context" excuse. I'd like to hear you explain why the passage is out of context though.

And no, I love the Bible, specifically the Old Testament, so full of insane anger and violence, it of course appeals to my adolescent angst. Yahweh rocks! These are genuinly my favourite passages. If you prefer the more peaceful parts then thats up to you!

Ahh speaking of which:

Ezekiel 9 4-6

"And the LORD said unto him, Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof. And to the others he said in mine hearing, Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity:
Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women: but come not near any man upon whom is the mark; and begin at my sanctuary. Then they began at the ancient men which were before the house. "

Lord Yahweh commands death upon all unbelievers!

[Jacket60]

And Jesus said, "For judgement I am come into this world." (John 9:39)
"I came not to judge the world" (John 12:47)

[Arch-hereticK]

Exodus 21:20-21 "If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property."

Exodus 21:32 "If the bull gores a male or female slave, the owner must pay thirty shekels of silver to the master of the slave, and the bull must be stoned. (but not to death)"

Deuteronomy 23:2 "No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the Lord."

2 Peter 3:8 [In response to the question of why the apocalypse did not occur during the apostles lifetimes as Jesus had predicted] "But do not ignore this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like one day."

Spread the good word.
These words don't magically mean something else when they're but into context.