CRITIQUE - Two bloody awful films: XMen Origins, and Star Trek

[WARNING! PLOT SPOILERS AND DIATRIBES PERMEATE THIS THREAD!]

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

First and foremost, the centerpiece that makes wolverine such an amazing character is the fact that he has no set origin. It could be many things. He has no memory, which was the premise of the second movie--he turned down recollection at the older incarnation of this movie's villan to remain as the hero archetype. I applaud that. Yet this seems to completely shart all over this like the next movie will over Einstein's theory of Special Relativity. Bah.

Second, plot holes. So, basically, this guy can sense his brother without even seeing him, from miles away. Then, sees the love of his live lying dead in a pool of her own blood with her very life essence leaving her--or so we are meant to believe. She comes back in the third act to reveal that she's "JK, lol." Apparently, with his keen animalistic senses, he is completely incopetent to realize that not only is she NOT dead, she's not even bleeding. No wounds--which was what I thought at first (My exact thoughts were something to the tune of "the make-director should be shot").

Then, it all comes full circle. They're giving the most obnoxiously overrated and unfunny actor, Ryan Reynolds, the key part as this villain who has all these super human powers (I can get the knives within the hands... claws... I get it. But katanas? Jesus Hussein Christ. What has the world come to...?). That, and all his dialogue bears the scars of his horrid career. He's the bad-boy "tell-it-how-it-is" leader archetype who's only real strong redeeming feature is the fact that he is supposed to be the strong, central comic relief. Thankfully, the writer spared us the indignity of hearing him utter another syllable by making him mute for the remainder of a movie.

That, and his brother plays this cat and mouse game of "I'm your enemy... JK, lol. Just want adamantium to betray you, but then I'll save you because of this immutable brothership bond that we've had surviving all of the wars."


My questions after seeing the film: "why did she have to die twice?", "why do all the cool characters only get lame cameos?", "why does an adamantium bullet cause amnesia?"

Lol, this movie is teh phail.

Star Trek

Big let down for me. So, just like I'm not a real big comic book fan (they're cool, I guess), I'm also not a real big Star Trek fan. Don't kill me. But, I am an extremely harsh movie critic.

Problem #1 with the movie. Why is a pregnant woman on a military ship? C'mon, really? At least respect military codes of honor. It was done only to provide really cheesy dialogue of "oh, he's giving so much up, sacrificing everything so his family can survive". That, and I guess they wanted to juxtapose the two ideas that "he saved your life" and "you've never met him before". Meh, I give them an "C" for effort.

Next problem. No marines. No back-up. No redshirts to be conviently placed in front of phaser blasters to give the semblence of an actually fire fight other than a "hax, I am teh main characters so all you guys can't aim for crap". At the very least, where body armor. Although this is more of my martial criticism kicking in, presumably against the Star Trek series, and which I am willing to relent because it is a classic (but, c'mon man. Marines are sooo badass).

Third problem. The premise is like wtf? Phail. Basically, in a nutshell, it's the cosmic equivalent of "Oh gee, the firefighters didn't get here in time to save my house, so I'll go and kill tens of billions of people out of spite and revenge against the people who tried to save me and my family." Erm... ok? Not sure if this is a traditional Romulan thing to do, but it's definately "not logical".




I could go on, but I do think that you guys should decide for yourselves about how these movies were.

And with that, all the Comic Book Guys and Trekis, prepare your flamers while I get the fire extinguisher.

I totally agree with you about the Star Trek movie, it was God awful, I wanna stab out my own eyes with hypos. I hate JJ Abrams and WILL vaporize him if I see him on the streets. What the hell were they thinking? Red drops making black holes? Sulu doing wu shu on top of a giant space drill? I wanted to throw something at the screen, the worst thing is that people actually liked that trash...I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth, sorry...

Lol at the horrible make-up on the green chick. Plus I could see the roots on Spock's eyebrows.

Couldn't they at least CGI those out? I mean, c'mon. You spent millions on those spectacular battle scenes, but whatever happened to the suspension of disbelief? I don't buy the authenticity of those characters.


Btw, the scene where he has a nice, quaint chat while the enemy ship is being pulverized by a black hole is impossible, because black holes are black holes because light can't escape from it. It's why they're black (plus, why is there lightning? Really?).


That, and, if only a drop could consume a supernova, wouldn't that whole vat of red matter create a chain reaction to create something on the scale of a new "big crunch"?

Ugh...

Originally Posted by cfmonkey45

Star Trek

Big let down for me. So, just like I'm not a real big comic book fan (they're cool, I guess), I'm also not a real big Star Trek fan. Don't kill me. But, I am an extremely harsh movie critic.

Problem #1 with the movie. Why is a pregnant woman on a military ship? C'mon, really? At least respect military codes of honor. It was done only to provide really cheesy dialogue of "oh, he's giving so much up, sacrificing everything so his family can survive". That, and I guess they wanted to juxtapose the two ideas that "he saved your life" and "you've never met him before". Meh, I give them an "C" for effort.

Next problem. No marines. No back-up. No redshirts to be conviently placed in front of phaser blasters to give the semblence of an actually fire fight other than a "hax, I am teh main characters so all you guys can't aim for crap". At the very least, where body armor. Although this is more of my martial criticism kicking in, presumably against the Star Trek series, and which I am willing to relent because it is a classic (but, c'mon man. Marines are sooo badass).

Third problem. The premise is like wtf? Phail. Basically, in a nutshell, it's the cosmic equivalent of "Oh gee, the firefighters didn't get here in time to save my house, so I'll go and kill tens of billions of people out of spite and revenge against the people who tried to save me and my family." Erm... ok? Not sure if this is a traditional Romulan thing to do, but it's definately "not logical".




I could go on, but I do think that you guys should decide for yourselves about how these movies were.

And with that, all the Comic Book Guys and Trekis, prepare your flamers while I get the fire extinguisher.

#1, the Enterprise has always had civilians on it throughout the numerous series and movies. The Federation is about diplomacy first, war second. I'll agree that the beginning drama was a little much but it pretty much harkens back to Star Trek: The Original Series.

#2, pretty much every single Star Trek show and movie has the main characters being the only ones to get into the action. If they bring a red shirt then we all know that he will be dead within 5 minutes. Again, homage to previous series and films.

#3, I agree with you here as well. Supposedly a lot was cut out of the movie that regarded Nero's backstory. Also, there were four comics that were released previous to the film's opening that bridged the gap between Star Trek: Nemesis (2002) and 2009's Star Trek. Nero could have been done better.

Lol at the horrible make-up on the green chick. Plus I could see the roots on Spock's eyebrows.

Couldn't they at least CGI those out? I mean, c'mon. You spent millions on those spectacular battle scenes, but whatever happened to the suspension of disbelief? I don't buy the authenticity of those characters.

See Orion slave girl. I never noticed anything with Spock and my theater was using DLP.

Btw, the scene where he has a nice, quaint chat while the enemy ship is being pulverized by a black hole is impossible, because black holes are black holes because light can't escape from it. It's why they're black (plus, why is there lightning? Really?).

A completely black...black hole wouldn't look very cool. Neither would audiences like it if the starships made no noise because they are in space. Some things are done for film's sake.

That, and, if only a drop could consume a supernova, wouldn't that whole vat of red matter create a chain reaction to create something on the scale of a new "big crunch"?

Nit picking?

Originally Posted by cfmonkey45

irst and foremost, the centerpiece that makes wolverine such an amazing character is the fact that he has no set origin.

You mean beside the fact that they made a definitive origin comic, like, years ago? And the fact that his origins were hinted at in previous comics?

Second, plot holes. So, basically, this guy can sense his brother without even seeing him, from miles away.

You do realise this is the Marvel universe, right?

They're giving the most obnoxiously overrated and unfunny actor, Ryan Reynolds

Right, and here is where you should be punched in the face.

But katanas?

That's kinda, you know, his signature thing.

So, just like I'm not a real big comic book fan

Then you have no business watching a comic-book movie? O__o

Next problem. No marines. No back-up.

I will agree this is a horrific problem in Star Trek. 'Tis one of many reasons I am not a Star Trek fan. The main protagonists, the Federation, are militarily retarded.
Mass Effect is a far better sci-fi universe.

Not sure if this is a traditional Romulan thing to do, but it's definitely "not logical".

That's the point. Not only are the Romulans the polar opposite of Vulcans, but the main villain is considered a rogue even under Romulan standards.

Originally Posted by MaximiIian

Right, and here is where you should be punched in the face.

Me agrees, tag team?

Originally Posted by cfmonkey45

Then, it all comes full circle. They're giving the most obnoxiously overrated and unfunny actor, Ryan Reynolds, the key part as this villain who has all these super human powers (I can get the knives within the hands... claws... I get it. But katanas? Jesus Hussein Christ. What has the world come to...?). That, and all his dialogue bears the scars of his horrid career. He's the bad-boy "tell-it-how-it-is" leader archetype who's only real strong redeeming feature is the fact that he is supposed to be the strong, central comic relief. Thankfully, the writer spared us the indignity of hearing him utter another syllable by making him mute for the remainder of a movie.

I agree that Wolverine wasn't all that good, but do you even know who Deadpool is? He was depicted perfectly in the beginning (the cutting bullets in half was kind of stupid, but other than that...)

Sewing his mouth shut was a travesty to one of the best characters in marvel.

Problem #1 with the movie. Why is a pregnant woman on a military ship? C'mon, really? At least respect military codes of honor. It was done only to provide really cheesy dialogue of "oh, he's giving so much up, sacrificing everything so his family can survive". That, and I guess they wanted to juxtapose the two ideas that "he saved your life" and "you've never met him before". Meh, I give them an "C" for effort.

Most starfleet vessels are geared more towards exploration than military. And they have plenty of civilians on board.

Everything I've heard about ST is good, so I'll take your review with a grain of salt.

Originally Posted by D.B. Cooper

Everything I've heard about ST is good, so I'll take your review with a grain of salt.

I stopped reading at the pregnant woman part.

Enterprise almost always has tasty civilians. Everyone knows that! I mean you can't ask people to go on 5+ year missions to explore the universe and expect them to leave Mama and baby at home. That would be cruel! And a ship full of civilians is far less threatening. (And a wonderful target.)

Originally Posted by Unorthodoxt

I stopped reading at the pregnant woman part.

Enterprise almost always has tasty civilians. Everyone knows that! I mean you can't ask people to go on 5+ year missions to explore the universe and expect them to leave Mama and baby at home. That would be cruel! And a ship full of civilians is far less threatening. (And a wonderful target.)

NO NO Original star trek had No crew member's wife's/kid's. also wtf Spock could look up and see vulcan explode?? was he on a Moon of vulcan? second and if he was I Imagine the debri from Vulcan would destroy that moon?? Also why jetison Kirk?? didnt the Enterprise not have a Brig?? LOL

I'm not a Star Trek fan at all. I liked most of the movies I seen them do but never saw the latest two. But it's a lazy saturday, and in a few hours I'll be in the theatre watching this one. We'll see if it's as bad as this guy says, but me thinks it will not.

Originally Posted by Captain Jin

I'm not a Star Trek fan at all. I liked most of the movies I seen them do but never saw the latest two. But it's a lazy saturday, and in a few hours I'll be in the theatre watching this one. We'll see if it's as bad as this guy says, but me thinks it will not.

You'll find a much more unbiased review here: http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showt...95#post5140095

I loved them both.

Meh, personal taste. I already told you that I wasn't a treki or a comic book guy, however these were my honest sentiments.

That, and I have nothing against deadpool, just against Ryan Reynolds. I hate that guy.

That, and regarding Rahl with the Green Chick--I wasn't insulting the universe or Star Trek in general, but I could see the lines from her make-up. Couldn't they have expanded the budget to at least airbrush that in some computer program?

Originally Posted by cfmonkey45

That, and I have nothing against deadpool, just against Ryan Reynolds. I hate that guy.

you may not like him, but he is pretty much the posterboy for playing deadpool. The problem is that you only got a glimpse of deadpool, had they made a movie about it, it would likely have been better. Litterally when there was talk of deadpool being in this movie a long time ago, everyone put on the top of their wishlist that ryan reynolds would play the character, because his sense of human matches up perfectly with deadpool.

as far as the marines part, the TV show in the later seasons answered this question by stationing marines onboard. Maybe if we saw starfleet during a galatic war, we would see lots of soldiers on ships.

Personal dislike for the guy. Didn't like him as an actor, don't think that he's funny. Just strikes me as being superficial and highly overrated for these exact reasons.

His part in Blade Trinity ruined the series for me. I was just like "come on, you're not funny". It was unnecessary comic relief. Just not my cup o tea.

Deadpool is all about some unnessesary comic relief

I thought Star Trek was good, I got a little bored at a few times but overall it wasn't bad. But I don't know a damn about Star Trek so maybe that's why I don't know.

@ Deadpool's shoryuken: I lol'd.