The New Star Trek Film (Or the Wrath of Hand )

May of 2009 has seen one of the most anticipated events (one that I know Ive been waiting for ever since I saw the first teaser trailer about a year ago). It had been about seven years since the last film, far too long as far as this trekkie is concerned. The franchise was on its knees after that lame series Enterprise bought the dairy farm, and it was looking as if this film had what it took to bring the series back on the right track, or at least back on its feet. Unfortunately, the Captain of this ship was none other than producer/director JJ Abrams, the same butt head who brought us the shaky, motion-sickness inducing monster-cam flick Cloverfield and the pointless, needlessly plot-twisting, incomprehensible, never-ending, story-looped, cliffhanger-infested 'Lost' series. (come to think of it, even Alias went nowhere) I cringed, I sighed, I thought to myself 'I'll give JJ another shot' but if he ruins my favorite franchise I will hate him until the end of time and carry the grudge to my grave. I should have trusted my gut instincts, I actually went to seee this crappy movie and now JJ is my nemesis. THIS STAR TREK MOVIE WAS THE WORST ONE EVER!!!

WARNING! SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE FILM (YOU REALLY SHOULD NOT) LOOK AWAY NOW! SENSITIVE PLOT ELEMENTS FOLLOWING!

1)The villains are uber-lame butched up jock miner Romulans juiced up on steroids and with cheap tattoos on their face probably drawn by a carny. (yawn) Not impressed or scared, this is the second ST film in a row with Romulans as the protagonists, and its getting a little old.

2)The plot involves yet another lame-dip time travel/alteration dilemma, proving that the writers have no creativity or imagination. (A red liquid that creates black holes? Thats about as scientific as a tortoise supporting a flat world on its back, ARGH!)

3)The time travelling jocks affected the timeline of the universe, and as a result, among other things, the planet Vulcan was destroyed NEEDLESSLY. Vulcans are now an endangered species, with about 10,000 roaming space looking for a Vulcan-like colony. The Star Trek universe is rippling with ridiculous changes like these that appear to be permamnet, although I hope by the next sequel a screenwriter with common sense will realize Star Trek fans like some consistency and undo some of the damage done (and will reform planet Vulcan with a genesis torpedo or something). Please, make them stop making changes to the Star Trek universe, its worse than the last Indie Jones movie with freakin aliens! Make them Stop!


4)The USS Enterprise got a face-lift by a superficial culture obsessed with image enhancement and makeovers. The Enterprise was fine the way she was, she was BEAUTIFUL. But now the starship I built in model form and memorized from saucer to nacelle was retrofitted to look like some gay Cadillac hood ornament. I am furious!

5)Spock is WAY too emo in this flick. For a guy who's not supposed to have any emotions because he purged them he whines and wimpers more than anybody else on the ship. The Spock actor, Zachary Quinto did a farely decent job filling some very big boots, but overall the movies acting was downright lousy. The star of the flick was Leonard Nimoy who is admittedly a god but no thespian, he nearly stole the show as his acting outdid everyone else, but his wooden geriatrics fell short. It is time for mister Nimoy to hang up his ears and let the character's title go to another actor like Shatner did. Let Spock go gracefully for Christs sake, and stop having him pop up all over the universe to do cheap cameos for publicity. He had no place in the movie and you know it.

JJ! I hate you, you made unnecessary changes to the Star Trek universe, Ill have to bathe my eyes in acid for weeks to get the ame shaky camera directing out of my head. For you, revenge!

To the last, I will grapple with thee... from Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!
I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round Perdition's flames before I give him up!
I AM YOUR NEMESIS ABRAMS, I AM YOUR SHIVA!!!

WORST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER!!!

I won't take the time to make a full reply to this because it is obvious that you hated the movie before even seeing it. Instead of focusing on any pros of the movie, of which there was a whole heck of a lot, you chose to instead focus solely on what you believed to be negative.

I am a long-time Trekkie as well.

Originally Posted by Lord Rahl

I won't take the time to make a full reply to this because it is obvious that you hated the movie before even seeing it. Instead of focusing on any pros of the movie, of which there was a whole heck of a lot, you chose to instead focus solely on what you believed to be negative.

I am a long-time Trekkie as well.

The homages were done at the right time, they were not done in excess. The movie was awesome. I was at a party and talked to a guy who admitted that he hated Star Trek, but went to see it with his mom (who loves Star Trek) and he thought it was a great movie.

I do not like a lot of what JJ has done. But his Star Trek movie was awesome.

And JJ did not direct any of Cloverfield. I do not think he directed Lost or Alias. He merely produced all of those. I wish this was his directorial debut, sadly MI:III was...

This movie was ridiculously awesome.

I went with a long time trek fan, he thought it was ridiculously awesome. In fact he's going again tomorrow.

Also: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_11/

BEST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER!

there is a reason the franchise died, and thats because it turned in a steaming pile of crap. JJ Abrams has officially brought it back into the fold, and this is easily the best movie of the year which is why it has also received a super high score with critics across the country that few movies rarely receive.

It got a 6/6 in a Norwegian paper iirc.

Originally Posted by scheuch13

BEST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER!

Oh hell no. That title can never be taken away from The Wrath of Khan. Period.

Originally Posted by Gaidin

Oh hell no. That title can never be taken away from The Wrath of Khan. Period.

Originally Posted by Gaidin

Oh hell no. That title can never be taken away from The Wrath of Khan. Period.

Agreed. If TWOK had a similar budget as the new movie then it would have looked a lot better. That's the only bug I have with the movie. Khan is such an epic villain that he is probably up there in the top three with all-time movie villains. Everything about him is epic. And the uniforms in TWOK are the best of all the movies.

Originally Posted by Lord Rahl

Agreed. If TWOK had a similar budget as the new movie then it would have looked a lot better. That's the only bug I have with the movie. Khan is such an epic villain that he is probably up there in the top three with all-time movie villains. Everything about him is epic. And the uniforms in TWOK are the best of all the movies.

TWOK is also one of the only movies to end in a fight that is a battle of wits between two commanders on even footing. Every other sci fi movie out there usually involves some (now) boring "MUST SUCCEED AGAINST ALL ODDS" mission. Bleh. You could've halved the budget of TWOK and it still would be the best.

Yeah, it's an ultimate commanders' battle. A sort of a space brawl in space with massive starships between two capable men.

I liked MI:III....

Anyways, I'm not a big star trek fan. In fact I've never seen the show but my dad used to watch all the series and spin offs and all that junk. I always thought the movies were decent, but I never saw the last two before this one. I went to this cause I thought it looked interesting.

Anyways, some of your complaints seem ridiculous. For instance, I agree that the bad guys weren't overly interesting. I didn't feel threatened by them at all, and their motives for what they were doing seemed kind of overdone and stereotypical. But the catch to that is that how do you make a refreshing and original storyline for a franchise that is over 30 years, had like 10 movies made, like seven or eight different tv series? I mean, c'mon, most if it's been done before right? How much originality can you breathe into something that's be done over and over and over and over?

As for you being mad that the Enterprise looks the way it does, well a casual google search turned this up:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It looks like a crappy plastic toy. I know you have some sentimentality towards it since your model you made as a kid looked exactly the same (it's probably the same model they used in the show for crying out loud), but how do you get mad at them for updating the look of the ship? I wished they'd taken it further and updated uniforms, but that'd drive you trekkies crazy. Personally, form fitting red, yellow and blue shirts aren't very applicable to military operations and I think it's a stupid look but it's from the 60s so whatever.

As for most epic movie of the year to you other fellows, I don't think so. I think T4 or Transformers will beat it in interestingness.

Ahhhh should have listened to people, this movie is garbage, no it is worse then garbage it is complete shite.

Abrams you suck and I hope that you die in most horrible way together with everything you love.

I can not even express in words how I feel after watching this... money grabbing plot, please leave our childhood memories in tact and stop remaking movies/series/cartoons that we used to love as kids, try to be creative as Gene was and make something of your own.

IF YOU LIKED ANY OF ORIGINAL STAR TREK (not counting that called enterprise) do not go and watch this movie or it will kill part of you like it did kill part of me.

NO MORE PREQUELS, NO MORE REMAKES....

The only problem with the movie that I had was, that it contained too much plot. Everything was condensed to a couple of scenes.
It was like one scene childhood, one scene boyhod, two scenes academy (including the famous test, which was presented pathetic) and so on. They should have either extended the film or split it up.
And why a boy in his early 20's becomes commander of the flagship of an interstellar alliance is beyond me, regardless of his prvious performance.
They should have given him a ship at the end, but not the Enterprise. He still could become her captain later on.

Originally Posted by Misery

Ahhhh should have listened to people, this movie is garbage, no it is worse then garbage it is complete shite.

Abrams you suck and I hope that you die in most horrible way together with everything you love.

I can not even express in words how I feel after watching this... money grabbing plot, please leave our childhood memories in tact and stop remaking movies/series/cartoons that we used to love as kids, try to be creative as Gene was and make something of your own.

IF YOU LIKED ANY OF ORIGINAL STAR TREK (not counting that called enterprise) do not go and watch this movie or it will kill part of you like it did kill part of me.

NO MORE PREQUELS, NO MORE REMAKES....

some people cant seem to stand that Abrams messed around with the canon a bit to actually make...wait for it...a good movie. Not just a good movie, a freaking excellent movie. I went with a friend who is as far away as possible form a sci-fi fan, and he loved it. Gee, imagine a movie being made to entertain more than just a few uber nerdy trekkies.

I enjoyed it, most of the haters are just Trekkies pissed off that there precious little world got some changes. aww, did mr abrams change your precious enterprise? go cry elsewhere.

I thought it was Epic, I really enjoyed it... However i did get a slight headache from the constant flashes of whiteness in the pitch black movie theater.

WORST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER

ABRAMS, HEAR ME, I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE, TO YOUR PLACE OR WHORPSHIP; I WILL TURN OVER EVERY STONE UNTIL I FIND YOU. I WILL FIND YOU, I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT, AND THEN I WILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD AS I DANCE IN THE MOONLIGHT...

Originally Posted by Hand of Nergal

WORST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER

ABRAMS, HEAR ME, I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE, TO YOUR PLACE OR WHORPSHIP; I WILL TURN OVER EVERY STONE UNTIL I FIND YOU. I WILL FIND YOU, I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT, AND THEN I WILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD AS I DANCE IN THE MOONLIGHT...

Get out

Someone's gone bonkers