XI. MAARC - Nominations

[Hesus de bodemloze]

Nominate AARs for May's contest.


The nominated AAR must have at least 2 updates in May.

Give the following info:


Title (as link)


Game: RTW / M2TW / ETW


Mod:


Faction:


Difficulty:


Description (short):


Teaser: (optional; a short excerpt in a spoiler with max. 3 big pictures)

[tuore]

For Tea And Country

Game: ETW (duh)
Difficulty: M/M
Long Campaign
Faction: Great Britain
Mods:

DarthMod Commander Edition
Battlefield smoke & blood

Description: William III, ruler of England, has run out of tea. He invades America, India and Sweden in hope of finding tea.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Although William died because of a heart attack, Victoria continues.

Victoria: Well... are our soldiers now ready to invade UP?

Advisor: Yes... i think so, ma'am.



Victoria: Advisor, tell me why does that say that UP was a once-great nation?

Advisor: It has something to do with CA.

Victoria: CA?! Don't you mean CIA?

Advisor: No, ma'am. CA stands for Creative Assembly, while CIA stands for Central Intelligence Agency. And FYI, neither of them has been invented.

Victoria: What do you mean 'hasn't been invented'?

Advisor: They don't exist.

Victoria: I'm going to do something nasty to you...

Victoria: I know! I'm gonna... CRUCIFYyou!

Advisor: Crucifixion? Ohh.

Victoria (with the WTF facial expression): Nasty, eh?

Advisor: Could be worse.

Victoria: What do you mean "could be worse"?

Advisor: Well... you could be stabbed.

Victoria: Stabbed? It takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours, it's a slow, horrible death!

Advisor: Well, at least it gets you to open air.

Victoria: You're weird. Have you seen anyone crucified?

Advisor: Crucifixion's a doddle.

Victoria: Don't keep saying that.



Victoria: Red shall rule Europe! But look at our trade! Why is tea's value so low?

Advisor: I don't know ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am. I have absolutely no idea, ma'am.

Ma'am Victoria: Don't you "ma'am" me!

Advisor: Sorry.

Victoria: I wont accept. Crucify him!

Advisor: Ma'am... SORRY! I mean... my liege. You're a thousand years late.

Victoria: WHAT?!

Advisor: We're no romans.

Victoria: Let's attack Mughals now. They stole our tea!

Advisor: Jawohl, mein Führer!

Victoria: *sigh*

While the soldiers tried to find Mughal Empire, Westphalia was crushed.



Can we find biscuits? Can we find tea? Can Hitler conquer Europe? Can you combine marshmallows and porridge? Can you teach a parrot to dance? Can we take India? Can we burn Paris? Can we stop Roosevelt? Will Obama change the world?

So many questions... one place to find the answers.

GOOGLE FTW!

[Juvenal]

Severus the God

Game: RTW:BI
Mod: IBFD 7.03 (with Carajudo's skins)
Faction: Picts (mostly)
Difficulty: H/H

Description: Part two of my Pictish campaign, describing the events in Gaul after a Pictish Empire has arisen in Britannia and Hibernia during the final senesance of the Western Roman Empire.

Marvel at an attempt to conquer Gaul with an army of glorified shepherds and Romano-British home-guards. Despair at a set of commanders who hate each other almost as much as the enemy. And explore the very bounds of incredulity at their naive intention to convert a whole Continent of Christians to the worship of an obscure pagan God of Huntsmen.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The Burden of Kingship
Drest, High King of Britannia, Caledonia and Hibernia, and Protector of Gaul, was troubled. He sat at a veranda of the pro-consul's palace in Hatomagus while taking a light meal alone, and surveyed the activity in the plaza below.

His bodyguards took care to remain out of direct sight, as this irritated Drest and increased his sense of claustrophobia. But he knew they were never far away and their sense of nervousness was almost palpable, perhaps due to several attempted assassinations in recent months.

Drest was interrupted by his Guard Commander, Nechtan. Concealing his anger at being disturbed, he bid Nechtan speak.

“Your agent Ce Morbet has arrived from Britannia with important information sire.”

There was clearly no escape from matters of state, Drest wearily signalled for Morbet to be brought to the balcony, where the sound of activity in the plaza would prevent them being overheard. But as he heard the report, Drest's weariness gave way to shock and then a grim cold anger. He gave instructions to Ce Morbet in a clipped, forceful tone, and dismissed him. Beckoning to Nechtan he said:

“I will accept no more visitors today, tell the merchants' council to come tomorrow. I am retiring to my chambers, disturb me at you peril.”

A Family Tragedy
The meeting with Taran had been difficult, he was a nervous and impetuous man, much given to sudden impulses. He resented his brother Fotla, especially now that Fotla appeared able to rule freely in Caledonia while Taran's every step was frustrated by the schemes of Severus, even from far away Gaul.

But in the end, Keyne's authority brought him around, together with the promise that he would be able rule alone in Britannia once the rest of the family had formed a bloc to balance the absolutism of Drest. With Drest constrained, Severus would also lose influence and might be returned to the role of glorified clerk that was all he deserved.

The return journey from Eboracum was almost over, and Keyne's party had stopped at the hall of an old retainer. Despite her tiredness, Keyne found herself still awake in her bedchamber, mind racing with all of the possibilities of the future, and how she might deal with each eventuality.

There was a small sound behind her, and she turned quickly to face it. A man stood in the shadows by the window. She glanced to the table where her knife lay, it was too far. She tried to distract him:
“I suppose you have a message from my son, it was rude of him not to bring it in person, perhaps I can offer you refreshment from your journey...”

She moved toward the table, where a jug and cup also rested, but the man was not taken in, he stepped quickly forward, picking up a cushion with a fluid motion and pushed her roughly back onto the bed.

Although weak with age, she still had her skills, and as she fell she was able to gouge his eye. She felt him stiffen with pain, but he didn't stop, and she felt the crushing weight of his knee on her chest as he pushed the cushion over her face with his full strength.

She could not move, she could not breath, in her youth she might have found a way out, but now there was nothing that could be done. The pain in her chest reached a crescendo and then began to fade as a dark curtain drew across her vision. Her last thought was that this was all such a waste, men were not suited to rule, they were stupid and childish and they sought to dominate others only because they could not understand them.

[B-rad]

Those Who Go Together


Game: Rome: Total War
Mod: Europa Barbarorum
Faction: Romani
Difficulty: VH/M

Description: Witness the victories and tragedies of the Res Publica Romana through the eyes of its citizens: from men of the ruling, senatorial class to the dog soldiers and urban poor. This is a time of heroes, of conquerers, and of the ambitious. As class tension grows between the hard-working Plebeians and the wealthy Patricians, manipulative men will rise and use the desires and emotions of the classes to their advantages. In these times, power and influence can only be gained by appeasing the selfish and stealing from the innocent.

Choose to be a part of this era, if you can stomach it.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

"Tribune!"


Military Tribune Marcus Fabius Maximus ignored the shout. With hard but slow strikes of his felling axe, he tore a sizeable log into smaller pieces and then moved to work on the next. He only stopped and looked up when his caller sprinted over to him.

"Sir, you're--"

"What in Jupiter's name do you want?!" Marcus yelled exasperatedly as he carelessly
dropped his hatchet to the ground.

Rufus took a nervous step back before answering. "The proconsul wants to see you in
his tent. I've been told it's urgent."

Marcus ran his fingers through his short hair and quietly panted. Then, without warning, and without further questioning, he trotted off in large strides towards the command tent, and almost knocked Rufus to the ground. "Let's go, then!" he bellowed. "I'd rather be anywhere else than here."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Rufus ran off after his young superior.

[Antiochos VII Sidetes]

The Eastern Eagle

Game: Rome - Total War
Mod: Europa Barbarorum
Faction: Ptolemaioi
Difficulty: H/M

Description: Herein are the trials and tribulations of Ptolemaios II, called Philadelphos, and his apotheosis as he battles against a veritable maelstrom of enemies. Observe his mighty campaigns against the Seleukids, the Pontikoi, the Pergamenes, and witness the ruin of Egypt at the hands of a Barca...and the founding of a new dynasty.

All with no screenshots.


Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I rode in a stately procession behind the lines, accompanied by my Hetairoi. My desire to battle against innocent men, never quite as high as that of my barbarous mercenaries, was decreased yet more watching this needless battle. Even in loss, Sarpedon went down like a wounded lion. This evil would be last he ever perpetrated, I swore to myself.

Eventually, the fighting reached the town square...There Sarpedon chose his time, and wisely. My men ran in a ragged, disordered fashion, pursuing the routing Antiocheian levies.

Sarpedon's small complement of cavalry waited where the avenue widened into the Agora in the center of town...

His charge was bold, fierce, and fruitless. Bowling over my first two ranks of men, he soon became bogged down in the seething mass of soldiers which had made his charge so initially successful. One by one, the enemy Hetairoi fell.

I rode into the same mass of men from behind, determined to take Sarpedon alive. I could see his gleaming armor even from there, the burnished iron chased-with-silver of his breastplate marking him out from the rest of his men.

He, too, saw me...and grinned.

Sarpedon dropped his still-unbroken xyston...

Drew his blade...

"Damn you, no!" I shouted...

...He reversed the blade in one swift motion and drove it directly up in to his neck, killing him instantly.

I thought I saw his dying grin grow wider stilll...

[Commander5xl]

The Rise of The Nile

Game: Medieval II: Total War
Mod: None
Faction: Egypt
Description: Thousands of years have past since the glorious Egyptian empire, and the reign of Pharaohs, Egypt, the oldest nation in history is but a shadow of its former self. Although now its a time to rise, become the center of the world, A royal family aspires to become great. They aspire to unite their whole religion under one banner, away from the false kingdoms claiming to be Islam. They aim to protect their lands from the false Gods of Christianity and they aim to become greater then any man dreamed. The Rise of The Nile has begun......

Teaser

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

.....................................................................................................

Back in Cairo Fernando came bursting through the door, "Al-Mustansir, I have news your farther has died which means"



" yes yes, I already know, check out the notice, Adviser, your very slow, perhaps you could be replaced" The New Sultan looked up annoyingly




"REPLACED!, Ive seen more in this world then you could imagined! Ive been to parallel universes where the Sicilians ruled this world, and they had a leader nicknamed by some man Guido the God, though he wasn't god, apparently there was an error in M2:TW that kept him alive after he was dead!, Ive been to Germany, were people drunk until they started hulicinating about God wanting them to become the Roman Empire, Ive been to the corner of this world, to see a band of leprechauns (er Irishmen) fight the British, and use the force, and fight elvish ships! YOU CANT REPLACE ME" Fernando boomed

"ehhh, whats M2:TW leprechauns and elves?"

"err never mind "

"So anyways you were saying?" The Sultan urged

" Oh right, so now the soldiers are all in a panic and have threatened to run away!"

"that can't be good! my father's dream must be realised! I'm to far away to get to the forces in time, but send Mubarak to join them and lead"

"err thats Crown-Prince Mubarak, bet you didnt realise that?! " Fernando shot back
"damnit, your right, Crown-Prince Mubarak must lead the forces to Jerusalem! "

[Jynx]

'I Will Survive', An Irish Comedy

Game: MII:TW Kingdoms
Difficulty: VH/VH
Long Campaign
Faction: Ireland
Mods:
Stainless Steel 6.1
All Factions Horde Submod
Description: As normal in my AAR's, the king is bored, craves a random food and the only way he can get rid of his boredom is conquering somewhere and getting himself killed (oops, kind of gave away a part of the storyline)

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

‘I Will Survive’
The Uniting of ye Irish Peoples

The Main title is just an aim for this AAR, if you have seen the demise of my last two, I will not let you down with this one.

Mods: SS6.1 ,All Factions Horde Mod
Difficulty:VH/VH

King Brian: Okay lads! I ‘ave a plane!
Advisor: What? In the 11th century?
King Brian: Noo! One o’ those thinky thingies that ye think o’ to win summink!
Advisor: A plan?
King Brian: Yes! That’s wat I mean! Now gemme a bottle o’ Guinness andshow me wat our lands look like

Allergy Information: May Contain Kolman

[BubbleBoy]

Lithuania's Attempt to be Famous

Game: M2:TW Kingdoms
Mod: Stainless Steel 6.1 , All Factions Horde
Faction: Lithuania
Difficulty: Hard/Hard
Discription: The King realises that he is not controlling the most famous empire in the world, and that it is the smallest in the world, and so trys to turn it into the largest.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Grand Duke Mindaugas: Advisor! How famous is our mighty empire?
Advisor: Umm err...
Mindaugas: Come on.
Advisor: Weeeeeeeeeeeellll, we're sort of not very famous--
Mindaugas: What do you mean, we have a huge empire don't we?
Advisor: You're wrong about that too, we have one wooden castle with about 1700 population and about nobody who isn't in our country knows about us.
Mindaugas: WHAT!?!?

[Junius]

A Sicilian Life

Game: M2:TW
Mod: SS 6.0
Faction: Sicily

Description:

The memoirs of Boemundo de Taormina, this AAR follows our hero's life from provincial bliss to a squire witnessing his first battle, growing into a aquaphobic knight, leading troops across the sea to take foreign lands for his king and friend.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I am Boemundo de Taormina, a knight, count, duke, lord and much more besides, in the service of the King of Sicily. I am an old man, I feel like one anyway, and I wish to tell my story.

My life began on the singular island of Sicily, singular in it's beauty, with dusty plains, and high mountains, cool streams and shady forests, calm bays and placid lakes. It is an ancient land, one populated by myths and gods, heroes and legends. I, however, had very mundane origins. I was born to a knight who had arrived with Roger, and who had helped drive out the Saracens. In gratitude, my father, Tristan, had been granted a parcel of land, where he built his estate. It started off as just a wooden keep, the building I was born in, but eventually it was seethed in stone, and a small village sprang up around it. Sicily is hot, but fertile, and I enjoyed my early child among her famed citrus orchards. My father's land, it had belonged to a Saracen noble before him, was decorated by citrus orchards, which I loved to walk among, and pick fruit from when they were in season. However, this wonderful life, lived among the oranges and lemons, with their fresh smell in my nose, and the sun on my face, and sometimes the cool breeze through my hair, all of this was ruined by the return of my father. His horse had fallen and crushed his right leg during a skirmish with some brigands. He could never fight again, and always walked with a limp and noticeable pain for the rest of his life. At the time of his return I was six, and he seemed to want to live all that he could not now accomplish through me. I was to become a page at the estate of one of my father's comrades, a Sir Rodric. His estate was near Syracuse, on the other side of Sicily. I could not imagine leaving my orchards, the places I had grown up, but, after I turned seven, I was sent off to live the life of a knight's page. I could never forgive my father, but we were soldiers, our family, so, eventually, it would have happened anyway.

[webMaster412160]

Pontic wars

Game:Rome total war

Difficulty:hard/hard
unit scale:large
battle time limit:yes
Player Manages All Settlements:On
faction:house of Scipii

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

This story tels you about about a war to conquer Antolië,but it's mostly controlled by the Pontic States.
They Pontic States have many armies and regions,the are large in number and are a strong people.
I the Scipii family have already conquerd Africa and know I will conquer Antolië,
for the glory of the Scipii Empire it's gonna be a harsh war the Pontic States have strong soldiers.
General Tiberius will lead his and other Roman army's to glory.

Roma Victoria

[Coeur de Lion]

Gondor! Gondor, between the Mountains and the Sea!
by sithlord447 and Coeur de Lion

Game: M2:TW
Mod: Third Age Total War
Faction: Gondor
Difficulty: VH/VH
Description: The shadow of the east grows, with long fingers touching every free man in Middle Earth. One kingdom stands in it's way, one kingdom that is but an echo of it's former self. Gondor, that sits between the mountains and the sea, the bulwark of the west.

It's men will fight and die to tame the threat of Mordor, and we shall tell their story.
Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Taking up my horn, I blew a great call that raised a cheer from my men and groan from the foe. From the front I lead my cavalry into the swell of orcs around the gateway. My cavalry followed, and Cuion, seeing my intent, also lead his men into the seething teeth of the enemy.

As we charged our way through the enemy ranks my eyes fell on an orc, taller and wider than those around him. Quite unintentionally Minardil charged before him. My sword was quick in my hand and I took the head off his shoulders, his carcass falling to the ground.

[Kátz]

Liberation of Greece

Game : Rome : Total War BI
Mod : Extended Greek Mod
Faction : Greek City States
Difficulty : H/H
Description : Acrotatus of Sparta decides to retire from military welfares of Greece after his first battle. The command of the army is then taken over by Pelleas. While not appearing as a general, he is the mastermind behind the Greek war tactics. As Acrotatus retires, Pelleas promises to build him the strongest army in the world ever. Will he succeed? Or will he succumb into darkness?

Teaser :

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The first march will begin with the march of the Cretan, Spartans and my own personal bodyguards. I have ordered Pelleas to stay behind just in case something bad happened. Our destination is the hill, so we can earn a complete and breathtaking view of the battlefield. That allows to scout and shoot the enemy troops.

Let's go.

I have reached the hills faster than others. Obviously, because we are mounted with our horses. I took a view on the Macedonian front, it appears he is rash, for his scouts are soon to die by our hands! Perhaps he laid a trap on preparation? Or perhaps he did this on purpose? I may not know it.

While uphill, I see 4 units. They are mostly ranged units in preparation for a skirmish. Turns out he is better than I thought. He prepared some Thureophoroi and cavalry in case things have gone for the worse. I will need the Cretans and Spartans to divert their attention long enough so I harass their archers and skirmishers.

See them.

The Cretans have taken up their position. They are prepared to fire their arrows at them! And soon, the Macedonians face the fearful barrage. And even their archers only tried to dodge them. Leaving the Akontistai to fend for themselves.

[Octavius Vatco]

Title: [FREE AAR]Ave Caesar, Imperator ( 58 BC AAR by Octavius vatco Azura)


Game: RTW

Mod: FRRE 58 BC Caesar Imperator


Faction: Caesareani


Difficulty: M/M


Description: A historically inspired AAR following Caesar's rise. An effort to relive and recreate as near if not accurately Caesar's Gallic wars and up to the Civil wars. The AAR is more heavy in images than writing. This AAR is developed like the commentarii.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[ReD_OcToBeR]

The Ishtar Gate to Alexandria

Rome Total War
Roma Surrectum 1.5c
The Seleucid Empire
Hard/Hard

The month of May for "Ishtar" introduces a new character by the name of Argeos. He is tasked with repelling the Pergamum and Ptolemaic invasion of Syria as the war begins to turn sour for the Seleucids. Kassandros stills battles the Armenians and his own personal demons with many crushing victories over them. An old man is beginning to fall while a young man rises to power and fame.

Note: Link begins with the month of May posts

[Jingles]

Note: on the 31st May, 11:43pm GMT, this is probably pushing it a bit, but I still got here in the nick of time!

'Perfidious Albion!' - An Alternate History of Britain

Game: M2TW
Mod: Vanilla
Faction: England
Difficulty: Hard/Hard

The term 'Perfidious Albion' was supposedly coined by the French in the 18th century as an insult to the treacherous British, but in this Alternate History AAR things are all very different, see Britain's history the way it could have been, with Longbows, Muskets, Catholics, Protestants, France, The Americas, Knights, Grenadiers, Cruel Kings, Vicious Queens, Revolution, Republic, Communism and Exile all key parts in Britain's bloody history.

In this first volume we take a detailed look at the war that secured England's place in Europe - the Great English War, a bitter conflict between England, Scotland, Denmark and France, ending with a great King's death and an even greater legacy.

Teaser:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

In June 1299, King Robert prepared to march away from Rheims and towards Paris, where the French King and the remnants of his beleaguered army awaited the English forces. In the west of France, the Bretons had fallen under the heel of Robert’s Nephew-in-law; Howard Harris, the Duke of Cornwall, and Robert’s brother Henry, the crown Prince, had slain the last of the Scottish rebels, and was besieging their fortress at Inverness. Henry’s son Edgar had taken Dublin three years ago, and with the fall of the last Scottish King imminent, Robert’s dreams of a United Kingdom of England and Scotland were almost a reality. As he rode along, the King chuckled to himself. “Or perhaps England, Scotland, and France?”

Many years later after King Robert’s death in 1337, French philosopher and wit, Charles D’Albret whilst at the signing of the treaty of Troyes would later grunt contemptuously at the foreign dignitary from Muscovy who was visiting Paris, gesturing towards the ambassador from London; “Mongols, your grace? You should meet the English!”

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The treaty of Troyes was signed just after Robert's death, ending a long, bitter period of feuding between the dual monarchy of England and Scotland, and their enemies, the Kingdom of France.