Who would you NOT want to be in Empire: Total War?

[Faris ad Din]

I am creating this thread in response, and in conjunction with another thread:
If You Could Live In Empire...
http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=250893

From the many hilarious responses, I figured this would be another great topic to start!

You don't need to avoid repeating what other people say - list what YOU do not want to be in the 18th century! You can probably talk about what you would likely have been if you were one of your ancestors.

Here's my own Jobs To Avoid List:

1. Sailor. "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company." - Samuel Johnson
2. Front-line soldier. "For a soldier I listed, to grow great in fame. And be shot at for sixpence a day."
Charles Dibdin, 1745-1814
3. Prisoner (for a lot more causes than today!)
4. Soldier posted to the Caribbean. Horrendous mortality rates.
5. Latrine cleaner.
6. Most women in the 18th century.
7. Harem girl.
8. Barbary Pirates' galley slave.
9. Miner. It sucks!

Add your ideas.

[burden010]

George Washington. Wooden teeth? GAH!

[LuckyNinja]

a CA developer

[Darkpriest667]

a CA developer

WOW LOL that made me laugh so hard i almost lost my bladder... rep to you

[Emperor of The Great Unknown]

i wouldn't like to be a powerful man in the french revolution.

[timbola]

WOW LOL that made me laugh so hard i almost lost my bladder... rep to you

Ditto; big time.

[bangell99]

A guy playing the game in its current state.

[Bloodzen]

A guy in front of a British grenider in battle...

[jimkatalanos]

No more spam here ok?

[Rotaugen2009]

No more spam here ok?

Spam,spam,spam,spam,spam,spam,spam,spam... Spam! Wonderful Spam!
Sorry, Monty flashbacks...

I'd have a hard time being most people back then. The much lower standards/levels of medical care, transportation, entertainment, etc. might drive you nuts. Sure, it would be fun for a while, but you might start to miss a lot of modern appliances, ways of thinking, and more. And people 300 years from now will wonder how we could stand living in this hellish time, with our lack of transporters, computer chips in the brain for direct neural access, and dogs named Astro.

[Centurio Marcus]

1: Any sailor on any ship. It's a deathtrap.
2: Swedish frontline soldier in Poltava. One regiment had 700 men ready before the battle. Later it had 14.
3: A galley slave in the French fleet. Or any slave at all.
4: A man who think differently than others.
5: A pioneer/settler in North America, around the great lakes. Odds to lose your scalp :VERY HIGH.
5: An explorer in South America. Doesn't need more explanation.

[Norpheus]

1: Any sailor on any ship. It's a deathtrap.

Sailers lived longer than infantrymen.

2: Swedish frontline soldier in Poltava. One regiment had 700 men ready before the battle. Later it had 14.

And not a Russian soldier at Narva?

5: A pioneer/settler in North America, around the great lakes. Odds to lose your scalp :VERY HIGH.

Not?

5: An explorer in South America. Doesn't need more explanation.

The djungle is still not fuly explored, and was a great source for sience and biology?

[Nikitn]

Sailers lived longer than infantrymen.


And not a Russian soldier at Narva?

Not?

The djungle is still not fuly explored, and was a great source for sience and biology?

Haha, what would one expect? I KNEW some Swede would answer to Centurio Marcus's single comment about Swedes at Poltava. Then you come, and hide it in 2 other responses. This is just getting ridiculous lol.

[Centurio Marcus]

Sailers lived longer than infantrymen.

But how many of them actually died?

And not a Russian soldier at Narva?

Why not? Poltava just popped into my mind.

Not?

Well, perhaps I exaggarated a bit. I meant that it was a dangerous business.

The djungle is still not fuly explored, and was a great source for sience and biology?

It certainly wasn't a pleasant journey.

[Plank of Wood]

A king of france in the 1780's.

[Big Pacha]

A king of france in the 1780's.

good one!

Mine= a french liberal intellectual, because they were next (as in any revolution btw)

[Humble Warrior]

A cavalry horse.

No one thinks about the horse. They`re always forced to run into battle with no idea why and get wasted. When they count the dead, no one ever bothers about horsey. Injured horseys don`t get medical attention. If they`re lucky they`ll get an apple.

And someone`s always sitting on top of them too!

[Faris ad Din]

A cavalry horse.

No one thinks about the horse. They`re always forced to run into battle with no idea why and get wasted. When they count the dead, no one ever bothers about horsey. Injured horseys don`t get medical attention. If they`re lucky they`ll get an apple.

And someone`s always sitting on top of them too!

I wouldn't want to be a tree, getting cut down made a ship and then shot at by cannons, what a horrible life, no one cares for trees

... word. +rep to both, excellent and funny points!

[Von Kickyourass]

what about a gun? It's the equivalent of being a slave except you get a metal ball flying out of you!

[Pfundner]

A cavalry horse.

No one thinks about the horse. They`re always forced to run into battle with no idea why and get wasted. When they count the dead, no one ever bothers about horsey. Injured horseys don`t get medical attention. If they`re lucky they`ll get an apple.

And someone`s always sitting on top of them too!

lol +rep