How NOT to be a noob in RTW MP
After being inspired by Selifator i decided to work this out.
Will be walking you trough logging on, joining and finishing a game and eventually logging off.
A. Logging in.
1. When you do log in, Remember not to use your CD key as your name. this is bad because it looks silly and people can then write it down and pretend to be you.
2. You will now be confronted with the chat lobby. theres a few basic things you should remember.
- You need to patch up to 1.5 if you have RTW and 1.6 for Barbarian invasion.
- Do not interfere in arguments between others if you do not know what it is about. Chances are both sides of the conflict will focus on you instead of each other.
- if there isn't anyone online, check which lobby you are in. NTW2 folks were usually in Chat Lobby but i dont know who hangs around there now, Mainstream RTW vanilla (unmodded version) are in Friendly Lobby, and Competitive is usually reserved for private matches like clan training, tournaments and duels. this means the only place you can get a game going properly is FRIENDLY LOBBY.
- Never ever start to spam randomly in any lobby. People will just mute you, and you will lay the first stone on the road to being stigmatized as a guy with Tourette Syndrome. Rage at the appropriate time. the appropriate time is when your ally is making a square out of hoplites.
3. Try to be original.
As you might have noticed 1 out of 10 players is either named Alexander, Leonidas or Ceasar. Try to be inventive and dont spam too many numbers in your name. if you cant pronounce it, dont use it...
B. Joining a game.
On to proper etiquette related to joining games
- Do not join a game if you are going to leave. You will anger everyone in the game. people just want to start as soon as possible, since every second increases the risk of the game crashing.
- Do not beg for different rules or money. you will probably get kicked. Since 15K CWB is used by at least 80% of all players you are better off learning how to play that than sticking to your 100K no art no ele BS.
- Be Polite. If you insult the Host, his friends or his clanmates, you will get kicked out of the game.
- Do not break the rules. its possible to kick ingame. If u do make a mistake like 1 too many inf, apologize and ask the host if you could use the unit, or if you have to retreat it.
- When the host asks you a question it is in the interest of getting the game started as soon as possible. Answer or risk getting kicked. no one wants to wait half an hour to start.
- If the rules are in the game name, and you ask for the rules after you join, you will probably get kicked for stupidity.
- Be patient. The host will often wait till the game is full before starting to explain the rules. in the mean time see to it that you team up correctly.
- If the host suspects that the game is dead, and asks his teammate to leave to do a Deathcheck, do not quit the game. If the game is dead the host will terminate the game himself.
C. Hosting a game.
- "The name of the game is..." When typing in the game's name think rationally. Try to put your team, the game size and the ruleset on there. Example: "Sith 2v2 CWB rules." or "Max&Toern vs? CWB" or "CWB 2v2 15 K". game names like, "DIE!!!!!!" or "MY HOUSE OR CARNAGE" will usually be ignored by higher tier players.
- Do not over do it with your cash limits. Infinite money is one of the most boring ways of playing ever invented by man because of the lack of tactical depth. like the rest of the people you should try to set your money somewhere in between 10k and 30k per player. most used is 15k per player though.
- How to kick ingame. You have decided that a player has done something which morally forces you to kick him.
The procedure for doing this is the following:
First type
#p
to see what his number is. we assume it is player 1.
Then type
#kick 1
and the game should boot the player in question.
Should you decide to use this to prevent leet players from fighting in the battle, there are a few ways people can make the game so miserable for you that you quit playing MP:
- They can put you on youtube so everyone can see you kicking a better player because he was owning you,
- blacklist you and automatically kick you from future games that they host,
- Find you, (watch out for Anthony, the guy's house is a fully stacked armory filled with loads of awesome things)
- Get all of their clanmates and friends and stalk you like a mob of angry people with torches and pitchforks,
- Link you to this site. ultimate punishment.
D. Playing the game.
Congratulations, the game has started and you did not lag out. theres a few things you might want to know for this part.
- If it is a team game, Deploy next to each other so you dont get killed immediatly by a 2 army rush, and remember to work toghether.
- A noob box does NOT work.
- Stay calm, do not do anything stupid, stay civilized with your opponents. if you start insulting people the host might decide to kick you.
- Some things are too ridiculous for words. If you ever say something like "My pigs will burn you to death" or "My Wardogs will destroy you" or other weird stuff like "I am god!" People will probably leave.
- Do not leave a game. its annoying when you have to fight the AI, while you went online to fight a human player.
- Do not kick your opponents from your game just because you are losing. Do it to the wrong guy and the MP community is going to hear about it. after that applying to a respectable clan will be like trying to run for minister of finance after being found guilty of embezzlement.
- When your team wins, but your ally did all the work, dont pretend you're the hero. if you have 100 kills and your ally single handedly destroyed 2 armies he clearly deserves to be praised more than you do.
- If your team loses because of you, be polite and apologize to your teammates. Remember that the Blood God does not care whose blood flows, only that it does.
- Concerning triple speed: this is only required when it comes to a time consuming missile barrage. the winning team should be the deciding authority on whether triple speed is engaged or not. we winners understand that you might not like being shot for 5 minutes straight, but if we do not trust you not to take advantage of the speed and launch a quick strike at our missile assets with any remaining cav we will gladly wait it out on normal speed.
- If someone has gotten an error(a good examle is when your camera moves to the right without you pressing any buttons) it is only fair that you rehost to give them a fair chance.
E. Winning
Congratulations, you have won a battle. the best thing you can do now is say "Well played! Good game guys!" and exit the game. If your opponents and you are not on friendly or neutral terms i suggest thay you barrage them with a load of insults. (this forum does not support barraging your hated enemies with insults.)
F. Losing
Congratulations, You've lost a battle. The best thing you can do now is remember that it's a game, acknowledge that your opponents for whatever reason won, and when they say "well played, Good game guys" reply with "Thx, good game indeed!"
Avoid going Emo at all costs or the swedish will hunt you.
G. Logging out.
Very simple part of RTW. just say "Bye guys" and press the log out button.
You can also exit RTW directly by pressing ESC in the lobby and selecting the green V button instead of the red X button.
H. Game Rules.
Do not break the rules selected by the game host, or you will get kicked.
Major Rulesets
Here are some of the most used rules on RTW. These have been used for years and are regarded as the measure point for skills. these are not the only rules one can play but certainly the more influential ones:
CWB:
No artillery
No elephants
Max 6 the same units
Max 8 cavalry
Max 8 archers
Max 2 horse archers
Max 2 berserkers
It also includes some sub rules such as No redline camping, No cheating and sometimes (mostly in tournament games) You cannot change factions after you pick. Furthermore Units like Head Hurlers and Javelin throwing units like numidian cav and peltasts are NOT archers. Horse Archers count as cavalry, but not as archers. CWB rules were made for a prestigious tournament and are considered the basic rules for RTW by most players that have a remote idea of what they are doing.
TWPL:
No artillery
No elephants
Max 6 the same unit
Max 6 cav
Max 6 archers
Max 2 horse archers
Max 2 berserkers
In TWPL Horse Archers count as both cav and archers. the head hurlers, javcav and peltasts do not count as missile troops. Also no Redline camping, no cheating and usually no repick. TWPL was also made for a Tournament, and has a bigger focus on Melee combat due to the tighter restriction(forgive my english, or dont, i dont really care) on Cavalry and Archers.
Minor Rulesets
RCC:
No Artillery
No Elephants
Max 6 the same unit
Max 8 cavalry
Max 8 archers
Max 2 Horse archers/chariot archers(horse archers count as cav while chariot archers count as both cav and arch.
Max 2 Berserkers
A result of a 4 month discussion by a few guys from all clans to add something new to CWB. the most important tweak is that Egypt(if taking chariot archers) has to count these in its archer count and thus, since no one would ever use camel archers, egypt is limited to 8 missile units.
No art No Ele, Max 6 cav:
Exactly what it says it is. This is a 30K ruleset. As such you should expect 99% of the games to be Rome V Rome infantry slugfests on large scale. not very appealing to those that prefer more refined, and with refined i mean skill requiring gameplay.
I. Cheating
There are two ways to cheat in Rome: Total war.
- to ignore the host's rules and pick an illegal army. u will still get owned. if it is just an infraction of 7 same instead of 6, you can retreat one unit using the W key, or the host will allow you to use it if you ask nicely.
- to mod the game so that your units have far superior attack and defense, or to mod the game so u can use all units for one faction (including Yutsebs)
1 will get u a barrage of insults, and 2 will result in the host terminating the game and banning you from all his games for the next century.
J. Playing under influence.
As a Dutchman i fully agree that it is your own choice if you use alcohol or drugs, but DO NOT USE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS DURING ONLINE GAMES. If you can't think properly, you cant play properly. if you get too high/drunk to play RTW properly do not play until you sober up. no one wants an easy kill, and no one wants to lose because their teammate cant do his part. If you do play RTW on drugs or alcohol, remember that those pink elephants are not your imagination. trust me, they're not.
K. Clans and Noobclans(Know the difference!)
I am adding this section because youtube poops have been giving clans a bad reputation. What Clanless Youtube Commentators describe in their propaganda outbursts on clans is actually a completely different thing called a Noobclan. just like newbs and noobs are two different things, Clans and Noobclans are two different things as well. here is a clear breakdown of traits the two may have:
Noobclans:
- A leader that has no idea what he is doing and usually does not have testicles yet,
- poor organization ability,
- a generally low member skill level,
- not bound by any morals, values or rules of sportsmanship,
- Mass recruitment(will host a recruitment game and basically have no standards),
- Prone to violent text outbursts,
- Lack of a proper training program to improve new members,
- Considers the rest of the players inferior.
- Will resort to low acts like copying someone's name and acting like a dick while wearing it to ruin someone's reputation.
- Infighting between multiple attention whores.
Clans:
- An adult leader who has been playing the game for years or learned the ropes by serving in another clan. Usually people between 20 and 30 who are out of the hormonal phase.
- Good organization and rule enforced discipline.
- A generally high member skill level, particularly in the higher ranks.
- Bound by the clan's rules, the sportsmanship ethos and raised by parents that gave a damn.
- Careful recruitment(no public recruitment games, but tryouts on appointments. people have to possess certain qualities in order to attain membership).
- Practices social control over its members to ensure exemplary behaviour.
- Trains its new members to fight properly, usually as a preparation for tournaments or to defend the clan's reputation.
- Participates in Tournaments.
- A fraternal nature where members have known each other for a long time and trust each other.
General attitude amongst Clan Players
while no one is the same most older members of clans agree on the following things:
- Clanmembers are conservative:
Very conservative.
- Making a Commentary Battle on Youtube, without the approval of the opponent goes against sportsmanship and is disrespectful of that player. a Youtube Battle that was uploaded with the approval of the opponent is considered useful as propaganda to attract new players to the game.
- Clanless is a collective name for anyone not in a clan. it is not an insult and it holds no negative meaning in the mouth of a veteran player. If i were to leave my clan i would be a clanless as well, but that does not mean i suddenly lose all the skills i have. it is not a synonym for the word Noob.
- people that mod/tweak online armies to mix cataphracts, urbans and cretans are completely disgusting underhanded people, and will be blacklisted after receiving a thorough owning. People that make beautiful campaign mods to improve the quality of SP, which is lacking due to the AI's disability to fight back, are not part of this group.
- People who have never played RTW MP, or are new players who do not know enough, but try to give incorrect advice to new players trigger a feeling of disgust and resentment causing older, more experienced clan members to root out the error. while in this mode they are unlikely to back down until the person that gave the false advice has been raged into submission. Noobclannies do pretty much the same but they rage at correct advice and substitute it with incorrect advice.
In short:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p73pt4adwmk
L. Examples of incorrect advice that enduces rage in clan community circles/ Examples of incorrect advice that should not be followed by new players
Anything related to Multiplayer on this site here:
http://rtw.heavengames.com/rtw/strat...ex.shtml#macbs
A good example of this behaviour is found Here, where a TWC'er tries to convince players that an army consisting of 18 units of First legionary Cohorts is feasible. No doubt this thread resulted in many unaware new players attempting this and getting horribly owned:
http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=404290
And again here, where TWC'ers try to convince a new mp player that Cataphracts lose to Praetorian Cavalry(Note this convo was heavily edited by the moderators of the day and the juicy parts are gone. In the end, all the noobs were educated on cataphract's armor piercing mace ALT attack, and the only remaining skeptic was raped harshly in a Rome V Seleucia 1v1 match by a boy named Vix):
http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=224571
M. Gamespy and Connection
As you may or may not know, Gamespy is a fickle friend, so here is some advice on appeasing it:
- Never have Hamachi installed when going on normal GS Multiplayer. Hamachi will make you incompatible, but it reinstalls and deinstalls in a minute's time so do not worry, removing it is fine. remember to keep your user data for it.
- Never ALT TAB in between joining and finishing a game.
- Help the game to start as fast as possible.
- Turn off your Torrenting service to maximize the amount of Internet dedicated to the game
- Stop or Pause any virus scans in progress.
- Make sure that you are patched up to 1.5
- Sacrifice small children to the chat-monitor.
N. Terminology
When you go online there are a few terms that you might not recognize. Here we will try to cover a few(This article will be subject to updates a lot):
- Vet: A player that has played the game for many years Often high ranking clanmembers or clan leaders. Also referred to as Elite players or Oldschool Players. you want to think people who have played MP(not campaign) vs other higher up players for over three, four, or five years here.
- Clanny (plural Clannies):
1. A RTW player that is a part of a Clan.
2. One of your fellow Clan members
- Noobclanner: A RTW player who joins a noobclan in a wannabe attempt to get the same credit clannies do.
- Modder: On MP this is the common term for a player that modifies the game to cheat online.
- Ronin: Ex clan players that left their clans, or got kicked, or who's clan disbanded, that did not rejoin another clan. Often reserved for ex clan Veterans, as people will often refer to new ex clannies as clanless regardless and save Ronin as a title for the more respected ones.
- Traitor: A Clanny that joins another clan without leaving another
- YouTuber: A player that puts videos of battle replays on Youtube.
- YouNoober: A player that puts videos of Noobish battles on YouTube
- YouFaggot: A YouTuber or YouNoober that pretends to be a new player to make their targets pick a minor faction, or go easy on them, or handicap themselves by using a 10K army on 15K
- Egyptwhore: A player that only uses Egypt for their overpoweredness in CWB rules. Someone who takes Egypt because he fails too much to take any other faction
- Clanhopper:
1. A player that consistently joins a clan, leaves a clan, joins another one and then leaves that again.
2. A rare type of sentient insect with a split personality from the United Kingdom
- Clanless: A player that has never been in a clan before. often used out of context as a term meaning someone with no skill. also used by people with low IQ's who dont know the term Ronin
- Newbie: A new player (applies to both clanless and clannies)
- Noob: A new player who thinks he is the best, behaves poorly and does not listen to good advice
- Pro: A clanny that has dedicated himself to competing in (respectable) Tournaments.
- Trainer: A clanny that has dedicated himself to training his clanmates
- Clanwar: a hostile engagement between two clans where they generally try to end the existance of the other party
- Failwar:
1. A Clanwar that has gone sour, not as in people being hostile, but because the parties involved have failed to reach an agreement on terms, rules and maps, or a clanwar which is doomed to be a waste of time.
2. A Clanwar that has devolved into a stalemate. A good example would be the Hell-OTD VS SM-PK conflict which has been polluting the chat in the friendly lobby since the summer of 2009. That is also a good example of the first definition.
- Hunt: An event where a clan decides to go after people that have wronged them in force. usually only done against clannies that are disrespectin' as no one in clan circles really cares about non clan people that disrespect, or against really stupid Noobs that try to give people bad advice. The clannies that participate in hunts are not necessarily all from one clan.
- Screenie: A screenshot of the result scroll of a battle. kept for nostalgic value, Humiliation or blackmail.
- PID: Player Identity. PID is an ingame tool in the RTW lobby that can be activated by typing #pid. PID then binds the CD keys of all players online at that time to the name that they are using when PID is activated so you can see who is who in the future if they change their name.
- Tags: Parts of a clannies name that signal Affiliation/Title/Rank of the aforementioned. used by noobclans to grow their ego.
- Tag Faker:
1. Someone who puts on someone elses name to get away with sexual harassment
- Terminator: A special person that quits a game when he is losing, which will then end in an UNRESOLVED screenshot since he is the host.
- Retired Clannies:
1. High tier players that have not quit RTW but have so much to do in real life that their play time is cut down to extremely low percentages.
2. Players from The Guild Clan
- Low Money: 10K or lower
- Normal Money: 12.5K and 15K
- High Money: 30K
- Insane Money: Anything over 30K
If you have any additional questions/suggestions/complaints/infractions for me(related to this guide), send me a PM.
If you are going to commit plagiarism with parts of this guide, Satan is going rain down your throat with hot acid, dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes. Just like in "Linoleum Knife" by the Metal band Mastodon.
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Originally Posted by Taruthin
