Holy crusade to Holy Stairway to Heaven

**chaplainDMK** · January 01, 2009, 03:05 PM

Ok befor this battle i was zomg this sux...
I had 3 Crusader armies breathing down my neck (2 were full, 1 is half full)
I had a single full army in the targeted city (yea i was on the recieving end) witch was a citadel (yay for me)
Well the first army that came was a dannish army. I thought:
Yea, come you

backstabbers, let me give you a nasty nose bleed...
Basicaly my intention was to decimate the danes and then probably loose to the remaining armies.
Now this is what happans:
I have 900 of englands best god hating soldiers available. I also have reinforcments of 180 dismounted english knights (witch stopped moving outside the play are so i couldnt command them!)
They had 1100 danes + 31 frenchies.
So the battle starts, i stick all my archers on the walls and billmen behind them.
I stick my 3 dismounted knight platoons behind the door closely backed up by 1 units of mailed knights and 1 unit of feudal knights (those are for chasing down fleeing enemies or plugging the gap if needed).
So they have 2 siege towers, 2 ladders and 5 battering rams (wtf, i only got 3 gates...)
Typicaly he makes a huge charge infront of my walls where his infantry feals the power of 240 english longbows (burning too

) Alot of his light infantry goes smokey but not realy large ammounts (20-40 i think) so he gets the ram to the gate.
The ram comes trough and holly valhalla! There were so many Danish viking dudes it was all red and while under the gate. But my brave knights send them running in probably 3 minutes... I was gobsmacked, that was the biggers route i have ever seen! His whole army just routed!
Ofcourse i send my knights on him like a pack of rabie infected mad dogs and i just watch the rest of his army retreat, all of a sudden i have the continue battle or end battle message.
It took me 5 minutes to comprehend that in 5-7 minutes my army sent 200-300 danes to valhalla. Then a french prince came (yippey go me) and he got captured! I was like so zomg... His whole unit died but he got captured!

Well for the next 5-10 minutes i was just capturing the running danes until i had 500 captured and 200-300 dead.
In the scores i check it out:
England
Casualties: 200
Kills: 400(500)
Denmark:
Casualties: 900
Survivors: 100
Ofcourse i despize the backstabbing danes so i order all 500 of them to get executed...
Thats what they get for backstabbing me 2 times, burning Antwerp and constantly blocking my ports.
The prince was worth 6000, but im a nice guy to the rest of the nations but i accidently pressed Ransom witch the french couldnt pay and he got executed...
Well, i have (i mean i have no freaking idea) how this happaned?
How the hell could i have stopped 1200 with only 200 casualties?

**Psychonaut** · January 01, 2009, 03:44 PM

Nice battle, man.

**chaplainDMK** · January 01, 2009, 04:01 PM

Yay, now hungary backstabbed me!
List of crusader armies:
-France (pittiful bunch of peasnts)
-Hungary (full!)
-Poland (full!)
-Spain (half full)
Aint i lucky?
How do i stop this! I already wasted 2000 danish crusaders, wouldnt the pope discover he aint getting that place back?
Also danes suck at attacking forts, i just wiped another danish besiging force off the face of the planet.
This time they had a full crusader army vs my half full bunch of defenders
I stuck to my no survivors policy and evrey barbarian dane got killed...
2nd Dane crusader army on my score board XD

**Owain Glyndŵr** · January 01, 2009, 05:18 PM

Longbows are teh win. I bet most of them fled, and were cut down as they ran, thus giving you that ludicrous k/d ratio.

Well done... good luck fighting off the rest of Europe. Maybe you should seek reconciliation?

**Sodbuster** · January 02, 2009, 09:36 AM

No way man. Ride it out! Make them pay!

**chaplainDMK** · January 02, 2009, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by Sodbuster

No way man. Ride it out! Make them pay!

2 Danish Crusader armies
1 Spanish Crusader army

Whos next?
Ye how do i get reconsiliation, i dont want evreyone in europe to hate me

**Gigahertz** · January 02, 2009, 10:03 AM

lol go after the pope if you can and take him down *High five*!

**Viking Prince Olaf** · January 03, 2009, 09:33 AM

It's simple; dismounted knights have like 21 defence right? Well Raiders just have 12 defence and your knights have 13 attack so it's 1 hit 1 kill.
Also since knights have such high defence and raiders only have 9 attack
it takes them 3 hits to kill and your ganing up on the small amount of raiders that got in through the gate while A large amount is still outside geting picked off by longbowmen wich are good against raiders since they have no armour so do the math with all these facts and you'll see it's
not really A spectacular victory under your command.

**chaplainDMK** · January 03, 2009, 10:12 AM

Lol i outlasted the pope =D
I killed 2 danish crusader armies, 2 spanish crusader armies, 1 french crusader army and 1 polish crusader army.
The danes were realy sucky, but against the poles i lost 57% of my men, and the same against the spanish and french. But i had fresh reinforcments always on the way so i usualy had a full army and some reinforcments. I did beat the poles right after the danes with no reinforcments
So now im trying to get back in the popes favour so i dont get another crusade.
And the frenchies are safe again! DAMN THEM!

**OdinX** · January 04, 2009, 02:37 PM

I think, imho, anyone would love to have me as an ally, y u may ask? One time as I was playing with Spain I was allies with Portugal. Now the Portuguese have a knack for pissing the Pope off so, a crusade was called on them. Now I wasn't the biggest threat on the map, but more than force to be reckoned with. So I said, there's no way I'm gonna let my ally die (they only had 2 survivng cities with crappy armies defending them). So I send 3 stacks full of the most powerful troops I got; FH and FL included, plus a General. This is where it gets good.

I attack the first crusading army which was, of course, the French; full stack of the best they can buy; 3 units of Gothic Knights, 4 Chivalric Dismounted Knights, 3 units of crossbowmen, 2 units of their best spearmen, an assortment of artillery, and 3 Generals. Anyone playing could see this was NOT going to be easy. Being courageous I thought let me attack them with my FL as he should get the honor of defeating the first crusading army; the other two venture farther to take care of the advancing ones.

Basically I massacre France's uber force and do the same for the next 4 armies of different countries. At this point, I'm practically at war with all of christendom, but just as I was about to march on the Papal States with my FH and General, the Pope calls off the crusade and declares it a failure. I decide to march back to Spain with the triumphant feeling of wasting stacks of crusading armies. A turn later my FL dies and so does my General, not to mention that my FH was about 40 something and still didn't have an heir to the throne. That was a mess in itself.

**chaplainDMK** · January 05, 2009, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by OdinX

I think, imho, anyone would love to have me as an ally, y u may ask? One time as I was playing with Spain I was allies with Portugal. Now the Portuguese have a knack for pissing the Pope off so, a crusade was called on them. Now I wasn't the biggest threat on the map, but more than force to be reckoned with. So I said, there's no way I'm gonna let my ally die (they only had 2 survivng cities with crappy armies defending them). So I send 3 stacks full of the most powerful troops I got; FH and FL included, plus a General. This is where it gets good.

I attack the first crusading army which was, of course, the French; full stack of the best they can buy; 3 units of Gothic Knights, 4 Chivalric Dismounted Knights, 3 units of crossbowmen, 2 units of their best spearmen, an assortment of artillery, and 3 Generals. Anyone playing could see this was NOT going to be easy. Being courageous I thought let me attack them with my FL as he should get the honor of defeating the first crusading army; the other two venture farther to take care of the advancing ones.

Basically I massacre France's uber force and do the same for the next 4 armies of different countries. At this point, I'm practically at war with all of christendom, but just as I was about to march on the Papal States with my FH and General, the Pope calls off the crusade and declares it a failure. I decide to march back to Spain with the triumphant feeling of wasting stacks of crusading armies. A turn later my FL dies and so does my General, not to mention that my FH was about 40 something and still didn't have an heir to the throne. That was a mess in itself.

Im in the ring of heracy you could say xD
Basicaly me (the most powerfull force on the planet

), Milan (crappy little excuse for a state with 3 or 4 towns) and Venice (bout the same as milan, BUT the are at war with the pope and have a city right next to it)
All of us have 2 or less crosses, Venice and Milan are excomunitcated or wtf that is.
So... Im right trying to defeat the stupid danes, milan and venice are trying not to get beaten and we all hate the pope
Lucky us xD
Im very close to just land an army next to rome and take it

Oh and the new pope declared that the crusade was a sucsess and that the place was back in christian hands.
SUCK MY **** ***WIPE! 6 CRUSADER ARMIES CAME AFTER ME AND ALL GOT BEATEN!
And the french are still safe, i besige any town of theirs and i get the pope breathing down my neck.

**Landtuber** · January 07, 2009, 03:58 PM

Just bring along artillery to break their walls without sieges. The pope will HATE you, but he won't excommunicate you or call a crusade. Usually though after every city you take you have to sit around for 3-4 turns while his prohibition against France dies down.