Tired of the same old political candidates?
Yes, you tire of your bicamerral legislature, you tire of the boredom of your three branch government, do you not? Worry not earthers, Ragnar is here! At two hundred years old and a veteran of the brutal political environment of Venus, I know how to make a country work, I have ruled planetary empires! My campaign platform is simple and straighforward, I do not lie!
Reproductive rights: Every human female with reproductive capabilities is expected to produce no less than a dozen babies per sidereal panetary rotation, no less. On Venus, where there are three sexes and a female lays a hundred eggs per Glomthorn, it is not asking for too much, produce brood mares! Stop being lazy!
Right to carry firearms: Any human seen in public with any weapon more advanced than a bow and arrow will be shot in the face with a level four de-atomizer pistol.
Labor: Every human must work, or else they will be fired out of a cannon into the sun. You are expected to maintain at least three jobs, any more than that is completely up to the laborer.
Social reform: All humans will share their property, wealth, and mates with other humans. Any human who protests will be shot in the face with a level four de-atomizer pistol.
Economy: See social reform, monkey
Defense: Ragnar shall create a grand imperial army, and a grand space armada so that we may once and for all destroy the greatest threat to stability and peace in the solar system: Mars!
Make Ragnar your emperor now, it is a wise choice, do it, or else I'll demolish your planet and turn it into a galactic shopping center!
