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  1. September 21, 2008, 11:45 PM #1
    Heinz Guderian
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    Default A different way to invite people to Jesus

    i saw this on Cracked.com and wanted to share. The video was ACTUALLY AIRED on live cable TV on a "God" channel.

    The Story: God created man. Then man created television. Then man created crack cocaine. All four of these things collided when this guy walked down to his local public access station, grabbed the receptionist by the hair and said "Are ya laughin', beeyotch?" The receptionist responded by giving him keys to the studio so she could get back to her crossword puzzle. The rest is history.

    Why It Rules: Because after you count all the things that rule in this video - the suit, the insane haircut, the Parliament Funkadelic playing, the bizarre camera work, the completely inappropriate backdrop and, most importantly, the drug-fueled, incomprehensible blasphemy - there just isn't anything left that DOESN'T rule. It rules by the process of elimination. On its own any single one of these things would be amazing, but put them together and pepper it with lines like "I come in the name of Jesus... repeat after me, !" and you've got something completely different. Something so awesome that it melts your face off.
    WARNING! BAD LANGUAGE ALERT!


    cant seem to embed. sorry link:


    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=juWG03BOn5k

    perhaps an alternative way to preach The Word? I see nothing wrong with shaking it up a little bit and giving those that are looking for truth a little something something. Views?

    EDIT: 3000th post. nothing i post after this will compare with my 3000th post.
    Last edited by Heinz Guderian; September 21, 2008 at 11:48 PM.



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  2. September 22, 2008, 01:56 AM #2
    leotolstoy
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    pretty sweet
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  3. September 22, 2008, 03:06 AM #3
    The Cobra
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Hilarious.
    Reap the promised end to the struggle. Reap every point on our linear path.
    Reap the smiles in time we borrow, every harvest relies on the last.
    Reap the promising song of the sparrow, that they learned from the birth of sea.
    Silenced by the threnody of the crows. Reap the fallen fruit of the dogwood tree.
    But I witnessed in all this silence one soul's definition of beauty. and a backlit smile so temporary.
    A facade so rich with evil history. Cast in direct opposition set to overwhelm this moment to shine and sleep.
    came out on top of what was borrowed, and found all that beauty to be still...
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  4. September 22, 2008, 04:56 AM #4
    Ryan Industries
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    O.O

    Dear god either this is Super Edie Murphy the convert from the future or we, my friends, have a g-tard....

    Honestly I can understand the whole religion thing, but if you're going to bull someone at least make it semi believable and don't try to deliver to through a blackman who sounds like hes a white guy trying to be a black guy. He dont servey Whiteys rule.... Oi Vei

    and wtf is up with the mountains?! I thought he was going with the gangsta feel... and which channel was this aired on? Im jewish and i feel the need to watch it...

    Whats next Bill S. Preston and Theodore Lugen(spelling) coming out and yelling "JESUS RULES!!!!" and then pulling off a few massive Hammerons?
    Last edited by Ryan Industries; September 22, 2008 at 04:59 AM.
    If yer going to leave some rep be sure to leave your name so I can return the favor
    "I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question; Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No! Says the man in Washington, it belongs to the poor. No! Says the man in the Vatican, It belongs to God. No! Says the Man in Moscow, It belongs to everyone. I rejected those answers, instead I choose something different... I chose the impossible... I choose.... Rapture. A city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty moralities, where the great would not be constrained by the small. And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well..."
    "A MAN CHOOSES! A SLAVE OBEYS!"
    -Andrew Ryan
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  5. September 22, 2008, 05:41 AM #5
    Arthum
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    WOOOOOORD !

    He already had me at "R U laughin',..."

    Damn,wanted to +rep you, but will have to wait, so here's an "I O U"....and have done so.
    Last edited by Arthum; September 24, 2008 at 08:13 AM.
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  6. September 22, 2008, 05:08 AM #6
    The Cobra
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Cut that off.
    Next call.
    This video has made my day.
    Reap the promised end to the struggle. Reap every point on our linear path.
    Reap the smiles in time we borrow, every harvest relies on the last.
    Reap the promising song of the sparrow, that they learned from the birth of sea.
    Silenced by the threnody of the crows. Reap the fallen fruit of the dogwood tree.
    But I witnessed in all this silence one soul's definition of beauty. and a backlit smile so temporary.
    A facade so rich with evil history. Cast in direct opposition set to overwhelm this moment to shine and sleep.
    came out on top of what was borrowed, and found all that beauty to be still...
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  7. September 22, 2008, 08:35 AM #7
    finsternis
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    What the heck...

    is this suppose to be a comedy? if so...

    If not, then isn't this kind of steriotipical and racist?
    Member of S.I.N|Patronized by Boeing
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  8. September 22, 2008, 10:11 AM #8
    Da Skinna
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Why is he floating?
    And reading from what appears to be a phone book...
    But mark me well; Religion is my name;
    An angel once: but now a fury grown,
    Too often talked of, but too little known.
    -Jonathan Swift

    "There's only a few things I'd actually kill for: revenge, jewelry, Father O'Malley's weedwacker..."
    -Bender (Futurama) awesome

    Universal truth is not measured in mass appeal.
    -Immortal Technique
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  9. September 22, 2008, 02:15 PM #9
    finsternis
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Quote Originally Posted by Da Skinna View Post
    Why is he floating?
    And reading from what appears to be a phone book...
    Somebody actually called and said that he looks like he is reading from the Yellow Pages. lol

    EDIT:

    I found some info on it people.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Spirit_of_Truth
    Last edited by finsternis; September 22, 2008 at 02:22 PM.
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    “The great mass of people will more easily fall victim
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  10. September 22, 2008, 11:06 PM #10
    Heinz Guderian
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Quote Originally Posted by finsternis View Post
    Somebody actually called and said that he looks like he is reading from the Yellow Pages. lol

    EDIT:

    I found some info on it people.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Spirit_of_Truth
    Good find.

    the preacher said his public-access show was taken off the air due to an incident in which he invited viewers to "look for some sin" and proceeded to drop his pants and expose his bare buttocks
    this man is a messiah.

    5 years he was on TV.



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  11. September 22, 2008, 01:56 PM #11
    Heinz Guderian
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    i was at work all day. I thought about this guy for the whole duration. The suit. The cane. The camera work. The freakin crazy music. I...i love him.



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  12. September 22, 2008, 03:19 PM #12
    Arto
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Are you laughing ?
    That quote just cracks me up now if you excuse I'm going to read my sacred Yellow Pages.
    Knowledge is a deadly friend, if no one sets the rules. The fate of all mankind I see, is in the hands of fools - King Crimson's Epitaph.
    תחי מדינת ישראל
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  13. September 22, 2008, 11:50 PM #13
    finsternis
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    I am so confused, I do not know what to make of this: why would televangelist do this?
    Member of S.I.N|Patronized by Boeing
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  14. September 23, 2008, 07:05 AM #14
    Heinz Guderian
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Quote Originally Posted by finsternis View Post
    I am so confused, I do not know what to make of this: why would televangelist do this?
    He is a vessel. He wields guidance. By guidance, i of course mean a huge ing club which he uses to beat the love of The Lord into us, accompanied by blasphemy, cursing and an undiagnosed cocaine habit.



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  15. September 23, 2008, 02:40 PM #15
    finsternis
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    ok...?

    Still confused.
    Member of S.I.N|Patronized by Boeing
    "You cannot convince a man who cannot convince himself that he might be wrong"-Finsternis
    “The great mass of people will more easily fall victim
    to a big lie than to a small one.”     -Adolf Hitler Mein Kampf(1925)
    "    There are two kinds of people who don't care about politics: the ones too dumb to care and the ones too smart to care" - Finsternis
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  16. September 23, 2008, 07:42 PM #16
    The Cobra
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Quote Originally Posted by finsternis View Post
    ok...?

    Still confused.
    He's Moses reborn, Get it ?
    Reap the promised end to the struggle. Reap every point on our linear path.
    Reap the smiles in time we borrow, every harvest relies on the last.
    Reap the promising song of the sparrow, that they learned from the birth of sea.
    Silenced by the threnody of the crows. Reap the fallen fruit of the dogwood tree.
    But I witnessed in all this silence one soul's definition of beauty. and a backlit smile so temporary.
    A facade so rich with evil history. Cast in direct opposition set to overwhelm this moment to shine and sleep.
    came out on top of what was borrowed, and found all that beauty to be still...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  17. September 23, 2008, 09:03 PM #17
    finsternis
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Ok then, if you say so. So which is the new Jesus? This guy?



    PS: how do you do spoilers? Haven't figured out how to do it.
    Last edited by finsternis; September 23, 2008 at 09:08 PM.
    Member of S.I.N|Patronized by Boeing
    "You cannot convince a man who cannot convince himself that he might be wrong"-Finsternis
    “The great mass of people will more easily fall victim
    to a big lie than to a small one.”     -Adolf Hitler Mein Kampf(1925)
    "    There are two kinds of people who don't care about politics: the ones too dumb to care and the ones too smart to care" - Finsternis
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  18. September 23, 2008, 09:13 PM #18
    The Cobra
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Here's how it's done (Spoiler) (/Spoiler) replace the ( with [ and the ) with ]
    Last edited by The Cobra; September 23, 2008 at 09:15 PM.
    Reap the promised end to the struggle. Reap every point on our linear path.
    Reap the smiles in time we borrow, every harvest relies on the last.
    Reap the promising song of the sparrow, that they learned from the birth of sea.
    Silenced by the threnody of the crows. Reap the fallen fruit of the dogwood tree.
    But I witnessed in all this silence one soul's definition of beauty. and a backlit smile so temporary.
    A facade so rich with evil history. Cast in direct opposition set to overwhelm this moment to shine and sleep.
    came out on top of what was borrowed, and found all that beauty to be still...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  19. September 23, 2008, 09:14 PM #19
    The Cobra
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    Double post. please delete.
    Reap the promised end to the struggle. Reap every point on our linear path.
    Reap the smiles in time we borrow, every harvest relies on the last.
    Reap the promising song of the sparrow, that they learned from the birth of sea.
    Silenced by the threnody of the crows. Reap the fallen fruit of the dogwood tree.
    But I witnessed in all this silence one soul's definition of beauty. and a backlit smile so temporary.
    A facade so rich with evil history. Cast in direct opposition set to overwhelm this moment to shine and sleep.
    came out on top of what was borrowed, and found all that beauty to be still...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  20. September 24, 2008, 03:14 PM #20
    finsternis
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    Default Re: A different way to invite people to Jesus

    We should so make this a religion, like the Kongists did. it will be called Don Vincentism, or Vincentism, by future generations. Here is our lord a savior:



    And here is our holy book

    A book that actually "takes you to where you want to go".

    Can someone make me a userbar with that pic, plz? I suck at making them.
    Last edited by finsternis; September 24, 2008 at 03:18 PM.
    Member of S.I.N|Patronized by Boeing
    "You cannot convince a man who cannot convince himself that he might be wrong"-Finsternis
    “The great mass of people will more easily fall victim
    to a big lie than to a small one.”     -Adolf Hitler Mein Kampf(1925)
    "    There are two kinds of people who don't care about politics: the ones too dumb to care and the ones too smart to care" - Finsternis
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