The crazy, funny tale of how I killed the Pope...

[Tsarevna]

This all takes place very early in the game, in Vanilla, completely un-modified. I choose the Holy Roman Empire as my faction. After the first few turns, I notice that Venice is left virtually un-garrisoned, so I seize the opportunity to begin a siege of Venice, and order my army to construct siege towers and rams. I press the "turn" button.

Next turn, the "Message from the Pope" reads "Cease aggression on the Venetian Faction: Penalty, you will be Excommunicated."

So, I stormed Venice and took it! By next turn I was Excommunicate. Since I had fallen out of the Papal State's favor anyway, I attacked Denmark, a Catholic country high in the Pope's favor.

Next thing I know, the Pope, at the head of his army, lays siege to my town of Bologna! I have only a few town militia and spearmen there, so I rush over some archers and spearmen behind the town, ready to enter it when they attack...



I move a spy and assassin over to the Pope to check him out...not many command stars thank Heaven! If I was smart, I would have tried to assassinate the other general, and had to deal with many fewer bodyguards, but I missed the opportunity...




OH no! They have so many bodyguards and Italian Spear Militia, I can't possibly hold them back with my Peasants, Town Militia and Spear Militia! I have a catapult and the stupid thing refuses to fire at the siege tower!



They are breaking through! I hope that my reinforcements from the west side of the map can arrive in time...



I have a very hard time killing off the Pavise Crossbowman with Sergeant Spearmen and Peasant Crossbowman, but eventually I drive them running out of town! Meanwhile, 9 Spear Militia and two units of Peasant Archers are left to deal with the Pope's Bodyguard in the Town Center.

After heavy losses, they manage to take him down!



Muhahahaha!



With very heavy losses, I am able to repel the invaders!



The popup-window asks me what to do with the Prisoners, His Holiness being worth a considerable Ransom...



I press the "Execute" button!



The college of Cardinals convenes to elect a new Pope!



Ouch! The new Spanish Pope does not like me one bit! Read the highlighted section at the bottom...



I take the fight straight to the enemy, and load up a powerful army with all manners of siege weapons, and head for Rome. Once I threaten the Holy City, the new Pope enters Diplomacy and begs for a Ceasefire. I dictate that he must un-excommunicate me and bring my faction back into the fold. He does so, reluctantly!



But he still doesn't like me!

[AWZC]

Lol, that was a good read

[Old Geezer]

Astounding! I never dreamed such was possible.

[caralampio]

Very interesting, and even historically plausible!

[Sorkenlol]

Haha that's awesome. You can kill the pope easily the first few rounds, he spawns around naples and goes to rome, so you have a turn or two to ambush him when he's alone with only 2-3 units I love his silly outfit too.

[Retribution]

hahah that was awesome.

Thanks for sharing.

[Angrychris]

killing popes back to back is funniest

[eddy_purpus]

ahahhaha funny popes

[cottontail]

Good job! The pope does not deserve to live

[Knight117]

I remember when I took Rome with the Scots, and the Pope kept reappearing, and I kept capturing and ransoming him.

Suffice to say, Popes are brilliant.
Btw, you got your arse wooped in that battle! 1343 to 761? Blimey, guv'nah!

[Celsius]

That was pretty good. I would give you rep, but you have disabled

[Zodiac]

That was pretty good. I would give you rep, but you have disabled

Their Rep isn't disabled, he or she just has under 5 rep points.

[Ishoss]

Always have an ace assassin ready for papal disputes, that's one of my maxims...

"Soo, you don't like mah boss eh?" *slice slice*

[Tsarevna]

I remember when I took Rome with the Scots, and the Pope kept reappearing, and I kept capturing and ransoming him.

Suffice to say, Popes are brilliant.
Btw, you got your arse wooped in that battle! 1343 to 761? Blimey, guv'nah!

Yeah I did! I was relying on puny town militia to hold off the guys at the front door while my spearmen, archers, crossbowman and 1 unit of cavalry came as reinforcements from the opposite side of the map!

I had a catapult, so I told it to take out the siege tower. It lights up with the firing arrow icon, then says "orders completed" and stops firing!

This old bug is from the days of Rome: Total War, so why CA didn't fix it I don't understand.

So, since the siege tower wasn't taken down, I had to keep 2 units of militia up on the wall that I wasn't planning on.

The rest tried to hold back the 2 units of bodyguards charging through the gates but there was no hope. By the time the reinforcements arrived, the pavise crossbowman and bodyguards had butchered my town militia.

I was barely able to take down the Pope and his bodyguard with peasant archers! They were all I had left!

edit: OK, rep is now enabled, I made my account long ago when RTW was new, and just came back after a year or so of absence! We didn't have rep then!

[Zodiac]

I love how you just executed the Pope. If you were to do that back in the day. The whole of Europe Would march every man available onto your empire.

[Orko]

well done! I only dreamed of capturing enemy general! but never captured one, of course not the pope!

[SuperStick]

lol, read every word , I hate the Pope too

[Vladimir Lenin]

Reminds me of the time I captured the king of France, tried to ransom him then they refused to pay ransom.....

[Tsarevna]

Reminds me of the time I captured the king of France, tried to ransom him then they refused to pay ransom.....

LOL! Was one of the traits of the French Crown Prince "Patricidal, Usurping Greedy Jerk?"

[paolrus]

Nice Play. He got what He deserved.