So, which religion should I get?

[Broken Pope]

I guess I better get my religeon sorted out before its to late.

I don't like homosexuals much, but I think abortion is OK most of the time. I like a drink and I'm not always that faithful to my wife but I don't beat-up on her unless she's done strayed. so... Top things I need are:

-Easy to get into heaven / good afterlife
-Not much praying
-No farsting (at all)
-Church / temple / mosk attendance no more than once a week. At most.

I took that test thing but it told me I was some wierd thing I'd never even heard of. I want to raise my kids in this thing - so it has to be a main one or the'll get laughed at.

Which should I be? I thought about catholic but my pa used'a burn em.

[Blau&Gruen]

Which should I be?

Be what you are (quoting Ummon).
Learn to live with people who are different from you.

[Zenith Darksea]

It doesn't really sound like you want a religion at all. The first thing to remember about following a religion is that you are not a god, and that the aim is not to satisfy your own wishes. A religion is supposed to be an objective truth, and doesn't become any more or less false for being more or less attractive. For example, it may be incredibly difficult to get into Heaven in reality. You choose a religion on the grounds that it tells you that it's easy to get there. So then you follow that religion all your life, and when you do die, you suddenly realise that it's actually very difficult. So you wasted your time.

Don't choose a religion on the grounds of how easy it seems and how much it agrees with what you think. If you do in fact become religious, it will be because a particular religion strikes you as being true. My own religion, Orthodox Christianity, is very difficult, and requires me to change my character a lot. But I became an Orthodox Christian because I decided that, on balance, it was the only honest thing to do.

[Blau&Gruen]

The first thing to remember about following a religion is that you are not a god.

Yes, this one of the key insights. We are all limited and not able to love enough.

[Cúchulainn]

Create your own.

It's not that difficult, look at L.Ron Hubbard.

[Blau&Gruen]

On a much higher niveau than that kennel novelist would be Goethe. A literary education can save you from losing time with uneducated scum.

[Celsius]

you dont get religion, you worship religion.

[jankren]

Jedi. May the force be with you.

[Atlassmurf]

Uhm, lets see..
As a muslim you have to go to much to the mosque-thing.
As a jew you must have your childrens little weener cut of.
As a christian you are just plain-dead annoying since you were born.
As an atheist you have no problem with thousands of chickens squesed together and like to off other religions.
As a mormon you're just dead meat.
As a hindoe you cant eat cows.

Note that:
A muslim can have more than 1 wife, be sure to go live in the Middle-East
As a jew you get those fancy looking hats.
As a christian you can say: 'Hey, screw you, our highest priest is German and we dont mind it!'
As an atheist however, people see you as someone with common sense.

So it is better to dont get a religion at all, but wait, than youre an atheist...
Well, at least dont become muslim, jew, atheist, mormon, christian or hindoe.

[Blau&Gruen]

Why so negative? Isn't it more about some people prefer chicken over cooked ham? Then they make an exception and drink a beer together. Why so much ideology? Why should anyone at all put entire (philosophical) worldviews into questions which are in itself complicate enough?

[Atlassmurf]

Why so negative? Isn't it more about some people prefer chicken over cooked ham? Then they make an exception and drink a beer together. Why so much ideology? Why should anyone at all put entire (philosophical) worldviews into questions which are in itself complicate enough?

I was just joking... ok?

[KaerMorhen]

Jedi. May the force be with you.

oh no, Jedi are boring , Sith are far more cooler or Necromongers from Riddick Cronicles eventually

[Каие]

I guess I better get my religeon sorted out before its to late.

I don't like homosexuals much, but I think abortion is OK most of the time. I like a drink and I'm not always that faithful to my wife but I don't beat-up on her unless she's done strayed. so... Top things I need are:

-Easy to get into heaven / good afterlife
-Not much praying
-No farsting (at all)
-Church / temple / mosk attendance no more than once a week. At most.

I took that test thing but it told me I was some wierd thing I'd never even heard of. I want to raise my kids in this thing - so it has to be a main one or the'll get laughed at.

Which should I be? I thought about catholic but my pa used'a burn em.

Is this for serious?

[Broken Pope]

I been thinkin some.

I know about Jesus (I aint stupit). I'm not going to be a jedi becaus thats just in a film and it is not in the bible. i dont know if star wars was a book before it was a load of films, but even if it was a book, nobody does what it tells them to do and it was not ritten that long ago.

Someone said about making up my own religeon. That is not how religeon is. I am not god so somebody else has to make up my religion. I should of said i can do some fasting but not in the week because of my job.

[MaximiIian]

it was not ritten that long ago.

Antiquity does not necessarily equal validity.

In any case, from your limited description in the OP, you match somewhere around mainline to conservative Protestants. Maybe Methodists. Though you are, as many have said, going about it the wrong way.

[Broken Pope]

Call off the search, folks!

I had a look in Maximilians religious profile (it was in his signitur). I'm going to be the same religon as him. He had a digram and it showd all the gods and the rest of it.

He had a littl circal and it sed 'the all' and that was like everything? ANd then there was two little cercles and they said 'gods and godeses in the othre one. i gess thered have to be gods and godeses or it would not be a relign. i dont no why they are divided up like that with gods on one side amnd godeses on the other side? I think they like difrnt things like football and then girls stuff like makeu[p and being purdy. so then there was under that a load of other stuff that the gods and godes had made (because they like football or beuing purdy).

Then after that was the physical universe. SOrt of like 'the all' but put in a difrnt place on his litle map;. i'm going to worship max's gods and f=godeses who like fotbal and bein purdy!

[chriscase]

Call off the search, folks!

I had a look in Maximilians religious profile (it was in his signitur). I'm going to be the same religon as him. He had a digram and it showd all the gods and the rest of it.

He had a littl circal and it sed 'the all' and that was like everything? ANd then there was two little cercles and they said 'gods and godeses in the othre one. i gess thered have to be gods and godeses or it would not be a relign. i dont no why they are divided up like that with gods on one side amnd godeses on the other side? I think they like difrnt things like football and then girls stuff like makeu[p and being purdy. so then there was under that a load of other stuff that the gods and godes had made (because they like football or beuing purdy).

Then after that was the physical universe. SOrt of like 'the all' but put in a difrnt place on his litle map;. i'm going to worship max's gods and f=godeses who like fotbal and bein purdy!

Your misspellings are getting a bit inconsistent.

I'd say go for the Church of Jimi Hendrix. You can just chill out if you're hung over and your kids will have the coolest Sunday school ever.

[Jubal_Barca]

Atheism is the only honest thing to be if you have this view on deciding.

[Каие]

This is either satire, a sting, a joke or you really don't have a clue...

[Aetius]

Religion is for those who do not wish to contemplate the horrifying truth of their short existence and death.

If you cant take it any more, just give in and God will save you....yep he sure willl, like he saved the Father who tried to protect his daughter from getting raped by a psychpath and was stabbed to death, and she was raped anyway, her life ruined forever.