I hate the French Crusades and gunners on walls.

[2xslick]

Howdy. I hope this is the correct forum. Here's a nice long read with a question or two sprinkled along the way.

I've been playing vanilla 1.3 off and on for about a year now and I still haven't been able to finish a campaingn. Something to do with the 10-12 factions all declaring war on me within a turn or two like it's the latest craze. I thought I had a good thing going in my Turk campaign. I was amassing a huge force to crush Egypt and was on my way towards glory when Egypt demanded I become their vassal. Decline. Attack city. End turn. Then they demaned it again. And again. For TEN SOLID ROUNDS Egypt demanded I become their vassal. Stupid stupid stupid. Around this time a Crusade against my capital along with the Mongolian invasion sucked the fun out and I started yet another campaign.

This time I was the English because I don't believe in bringing a sword to a bow fight. I started out well by allying with Scotland, France, Portugaul, and the Pope. But then I accidentally boxed in Scotland to just the two territories and parked a couple stacks outside. For some reason Scotland was destroyed the following round.

A few turns later, HRE declared war on me like they do in EVERY SINGLE GAME. Seriously, invade one of the other 18 factions whose borders you share. And it was no suprise that all my allies just stared at the corner and ignored the attack. Glad to know alliances mean something. So I look around my towns for a general to send over to crush those sausage eaters. Hmm, a 20-year old 0 command 0 dread guy with the ugly trait. That'll do.

So I created a massive stack made up almost entirely of longbowmen (I had 1 stack of billmen and 1 mounted knights because I like variety). A couple of turns later, I managed to kill off several HRE faction members and was about to lay seige on one of their provences when I got the Pope's dreaded cease & desist letter. Glad to know I'm the one allied to the Pope.

Then the Pope was kind enough to call for a Crusade against France. Might as well use my full stack for something. So I joined up and laid siege to Tolouse. Next turn, I notice that Portugaul hasn't joined the Crusade. Way to honor our alliance.

I open up the attack menu and look at the 2:1 odds in my favor. I start the fight and realize that attacking a citadel with 17 longbowmen is harder than defending one. At least the French only have 6 dismounted knights and some peasants/peasant archers. I lose my billmen and knights taking the first gate but the defenders all pull back to the second wall. I bring all my longbowmen up to the edge of the wall underneath their towers and commense to firing. I manage to position one of my longbowmen against the wall in a way to shoot the 89 dismounted knights on the east wall in the back. After everyone's in position I crank up the game speed until everyone's out of arrows. I check on the slaughtered remnants of those 89 knights and see that they now have 83. Damn.

After rolling my ram up to the second gate, I managed to box the defenders in with my longbowmen long enough to charge and charge and charge with my general. Finally, I won the battle with 814 casualties compared to the French's 827. Ouch.

For winnining the Crusade, my ugly general gets both a knights templar and a knights hospitalar added to his retinue as well as the chilvarous ruler trait. All told, my 25 ish general has 8 Command and 7 Chilvary. Nice. The next round a French General with 2 crummy spear militas lays siege. I guess he just wanted to prevent me from building or something. After completely obliterating him, I got the usual trait increase along with a retinue increase. Clicking on the retinue pop-up I... what? Foreign Fruitcake. Oh Lord. So my Crusading champion celebrates a victory by hitting on the bearded lady. This coupled with his extreme ugliness means I can say goodbye to any chance of heirs. At least he's not like his brother the hypochondriac. Then I'd have to put him in front of my ballista during a live fire excercise. The English have terrible genes.

For those that read all that, congratulations! You've won a stupid question. Why do gunners refuse to shoot down at wall scalers? Even worse is trying to explain to naffatun that they could just drop their grenades over the edge... Is there a mod that boosts gunpowder units on walls? Or is the problem with the unit's minimum range? Anyone know a way to make these guys the wall demons they should be?

[Wheelchair]

HOLYCRAP RANT BATMAN.

Right when I started I'm like... Vanilla? I Think its time to upgrade to stainless steel buddy.

For some reason Scotland was destroyed the following round.

Thats because they had no Heirs. It happens every so often.

A few turns later, HRE declared war on me like they do in EVERY SINGLE GAME. Seriously, invade one of the other 18 factions whose borders you share.

HRE will attack you because its within their Programming, I Had an alliance with them that last 215 turns, I had the whole map conquered except for HRE one time.

As for the battle, attacking with a army made up of ranged units can be challenging

End story, download a mod of preferably stainless steel 3.2, It's what I use but thats my Bias Opinion.

Farewell
-Wheelchair

[Wheem]

For some reason Scotland was destroyed the following round.

I'd guess that their family members died out without heirs to take over (could be due to dying against rebels, natural disasters, or just not having children).

I start the fight and realize that attacking a citadel with 17 longbowmen is harder than defending one.

That's an astute observation

Massed Longbowmen are amazing when defending settlements, and in field battles (especially with properly planted stakes). They're not so good for attacking settlements, though. Firing at units on walls is nearly pointless (as you found out ), and they won't stand up to good infantry very long in a melee. Sometimes you can get them inside a city, and have some success firing at units fighting in the streets (works especially well if you have the opportunity to get atop the enemy's walls without being stuck in a melee).

Clicking on the retinue pop-up I... what? Foreign Fruitcake. Oh Lord. So my Crusading champion celebrates a victory by hitting on the bearded lady. This coupled with his extreme ugliness means I can say goodbye to any chance of heirs.

To get the foreign fruitcake ancillary, the family member would also have to have the Arse (gay) trait; so his chances of fathering children will be that much lower.

You shouldn't have killed off the hypochondriac (in all seriousness, it's not too horrible a trait, especially if you use him primarily as a governor).

Why do gunners refuse to shoot down at wall scalers?

Ranged weapons with a flat trajectory (crossbows and firearms) generally don't perform well on walls. Much of the reason seems to be that part of the wall itself usually blocks the shots. Some crossbowmen in each unit will be forced to fire in a high arc, which brings their effectiveness way down.

Even worse is trying to explain to naffatun that they could just drop their grenades over the edge...

They actually seem to do really well on walls from what I've seen. Having skirmish mode on could mess them up though; they'll try to skirmish but don't really have anywhere to go, so they may just end up standing around.

[Gornard]

surely if you aim a muzzle loaded arquebus downwards, your shot will fall out.

[2xslick]

surely if you aim a muzzle loaded arquebus downwards, your shot will fall out.

That, hmm. I don't know. I'll ask my uncle who insists on hunting deer with a blackpowder rifle for over ten years now but still hasn't killed anything.

I fully plan on trying out Stainless Steel but I want to defeat vanilla at least once before making the switch.

As for the hypochondriac. He was also blessed with severe penalties to public order and taxes. Cities do better with no govenor than with him. A quick look around the English family tree shows that most of my generals are blissfully ignorant alcoholics. Hurray.

And as for my fey crusader, what an arse. He decided to take that longbowmen stack and desert my army once an iquisitor showed up. Friggin hell, he has 6 loyalty. I'm gonna kill him. Then the very next turn, my Bruce Campbell look-a-like adopted son was assassinated by the Dutch. There goes any hope of normal heirs. I fear for the English. Once my 59 year old King dies, there will be no one left that isn't a complete dunce.

[dr_guerra]

That has to be one of the most hilarious posts I've ever read on this forum.

My goodness I laughed so hard. You sir, should review games for a living, or at least as a hobby.

Well, to avoid everyone attacking you at once, make sure your settlements are defended well. That's the main cause of stupid AI attacks, they'll attack anything with weak defenses. So keep 5-6+ units garrisoned in each settlement.

Also, don't ally with the Scots. Kill them off and take over the Isles. Ally with Spain and HRE if you play the English, so you can get rid of France.

I find most gunpowder units pretty awful with the exception of perhaps the musketeer. They aren't very good on the walls. Naffatun, bowmen, and javelin throwers are best on the walls. Honestly, the worst part about this game is that the sieges are so un-medieval like. For goodness sake, archers can't even effectively kill stuff on the walls. It's embarrassing.

Try out Spain, they have one of the best unit rosters in the game. Great position. Just remember to send a princess to France for an alliance marriage, then just deal with Portugal and the Moors. Try a short campaign first. you're less likely to get bored and start a new game.

[2xslick]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Doc. It's a bit tongue-in-cheek but it's all true. Just look at my failed attempt at diplomacy playing as the Turks.


That's just unnecessary.

And here's a pick of my favorite Crusader a couple of turns before he deserts to frolic with his man-lady.




I appreciate the advice but it just seems the AI just wants to bewilder me. Once I manage to flub up this campaign, I'll try out some of these tips and see if I can't gank my way to victory.

I actually have done a couple of video reviews. I'll add a link in my sig. I promise there will be no angry swearing.

[REDrake]

Heh, I also got such a general a week ago. Here's his trait so you don't make mistakes:

[dr_guerra]

Oh man. I once had the worst King. I think it was Harold the Mad or something like that. He had zero command, zero authority, zero piety, 8 dread. He had THE WORST stats I've ever seen. I tried a battle with him and it was just pathetic. It was a small rebel force, I attacked it, with vastly superior troops and numbers, not entirely sure how or why, but my men started fleeing.

I was just flabbergasted. His father on the other hand, had the best reign of them all, King at 22, max authority, chivalry, piety and command. A real champion amongst men, went on 4 crusades. Ahh, rest in peace, King Richard.