The Thread Thats Been Wrecked By Idiots Talking About Barney

[ccllnply]

Well seeing as this mod is about changing the history of Middle-earth, I thought it would be a good idea to find out what everyone would be doing in their first campaign

My first campaign will be as Harad. The first thing I will do is send an army or two, accompanied by a few Mumakil, north into Southern Ithilien and drive Gondor out. Then I'll send my troops to Osgiliath and, hopefully, win a decisive victory for Harad. After that I'll hold in Osgiliath andbuild my armies in the south.

When I get my armies to a good size, I'll send my Tribesmen, again with plenty of Mumakil, north to Osgiliath to join up with my other armies and launch an attack on the White City. At the same time my ships will sail from Umbar and the Corsairs will siege the city of Dol Amroth. With the fall of those two cities that will end any resistants from Gondor.

I'll spend the next while finishing off Gondor. Then I'll turn my attention to Mordor. Without any real land in Gondor, Mordor should be weakened. I'll surrond the Great Eye by attacking the Black Gate from north and Nurn from the East. Finally I'll launch an attack on Barad-dur. And I'll win, because I always do.

After that I only have one objective left. I'll send the Corsairs of Umbar north, to attack the port of the Grey Havens. After the conquering of Mithlond I'll probably help Isengard if they are still around and maybe take bits of Rohan for my own.

So post your ideas and strategies for your campaigns

[The Big Red 1]

Well I'll start as the High Elves. Being the jerk that I am my first move is over the misty mountains to conquer Lorien and Mirkwood. Which should be easy seeing that my Noldor soldiers lead the way. Then with United Elvish empire I will oust the orcs out of Dul Guldor and Khazadum. Then From Kazadum I will siege orthanc without Saruman even knowing I was there. Taking the city for myself I will force Saruman to become my vassal and make him preform mediocre magic tricks to all the elf children. From there I will assassinate King Theoden and have my spies blame the faction of Eriador. As Rohan marches toward Bree. My army will move across his land toward Gondor. I will secretly make an Alliance with Mordor. And pretend to defend Osgiliath from the orcs meanwhile forging alliance with Denethor/Aragorn. Once ents arrive from Fangorn I will turn on Gondor and take Osgiliath cutting off Gondor from Ithlien as the orcs invade.

Then me and Saurons orcs will attack Minas Tirith where we pull up Grond with an army of ents and take the city easily. From there I will march south and take the rest of Gondor. While newly formed army in Rivendell will attack Eriador and Rohan fighting around Bree. If I win both faction leaders will be dead and I will take both Rohan and Eriador.

Then I will have my elves drink tea with Sauron. Then I will find the ring put it on in front of his face and Knock down the eye single handed.(I am an Elf lord with the one ring) Then I will become the dark lord of the elves and rule middle-earth with an iron fist.

Yep that's the life of your average Evil Elven Lord

[bingster088]

Wow the Big Red 1, thats quite a story!!!

[The Big Red 1]

What do you think I've been doing the whole time on this forum? Trying to find things to do with elves that would piss Glorfindel off.

[The Count(er)]

that is quite the story although myself I would crossbreed a Mumakil with Barney and use the result to violently conquer Middle Earth and beyond

(if you can't picture that you have no imagination but don't worry I have plenty to spare and am already working on creating the horrible image I just described)

(not the crossbreeding of course because no one wants to see that but infact what the child may look like)

[Glorfindel]

What do you think I've been doing the whole time on this forum? Trying to find things to do with elves that would piss Glorfindel off.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


i can't resist! this is an awesome story- i can't stand it: I WILL TAKE MY ELVES AND CONQUER VALINOR!!! AND MAKE MANWE KNEEL BEFORE ME!!

I AM GLORFINDEL ALMIGHTY! MY WILL, BE DONE!

[Kaas]

I will recruit an huge army of Barny's and conquer the lands of Glorfindel the lesser elf.

NOBODY CAN RESIST BARNY

...

NOBODY

[Glorfindel]

Glorfindel OWNS Barney

[Darth Ravenous]

Not a Mumakil a Ent that would make more sense. I will lead Peace as Sauron's army and forge an elvish alliance then after pathetic humans are destroyed all armies we coup'd'etat Saruman and bring him down, then destroy the little bearded dudes. Then recreate the War of Wrath with all the Elvish factions.

[The Count(er)]

your a genius Barney crossbred with an ent I'll do that one tommarow and I'll be wide awake then so it should turn out better, you've changed my entire campaign "strategy"

also the Mumakil Barney is done, it's not very well done I'm afraid now I just need to wait about 10+ minutes for the image to finish being uploaded

but just to try to stay on topic what I would actually do is probably be harad and make a naval invasion on Eriador and use that land to afford large armies to conquer Gondor and eventually the whole of middle earth

[Mithrandir]

I'll make Glorfindel happy, play elves and slaughter the bad guys in Mordor, Misty Mountains and Isengard...





(and recruit orc mercenaries and let them fight alongside my noldor)

[Varjon]

I'll start as dwarves. My longberds will first take all their old cities in Misty Mountains and destroy those pathetic goblins. Then I shall start invasion to south from Erebor and to east from Khazad-dûm and conquer all Rhovanion including elves and men of Dale. Then I shall force Sauron to alliance and then I drink tee with elves of The Big Red 1 and Sauron.

Then I will start marketing my dwarven strip clubs and brothels to Eriador, Rohan and Gondor. My dwarves will get everyday more richer and more greedy by their strip club and brothel business.

All corrupted men of Gondor, Rohan and Eriador are now ready for big boom of me and my buddies from Mordor and elves of The Big Red 1 from Rivendell and Lindon. We launch huge multi attack! All three races together dwarves, elves and orcs.

Elves of The Big Red 1 will attack to Eriador and slain all those filthy men of Bree and last remaining dirty hobbits. Mordor will burn the whole Gondor and I will destroy Rohan.

Then we will rule whole Middle Earth with three iron fists.

[Kaas]

OMG to many Barny's on this forum

[ubersoldat42]

CHUCK will be the superior unit of the game...He will roundhouse everybodys ass!

[Kaas]

CHUCK will be the superior unit of the game

BARNY IS THE SUPERIOR UNIT, NOT SOME WIERDO CALLED chuck.

[Iustinianos]

Why is every topic in here getting spawned with this Barney figure?

[Kaas]

We have too much time and nothing else to talk about.

P.S. are you dutch? we could talk about Pino.

[Iustinianos]

P.S. are you dutch? we could talk about Pino.

Haha, yes Pino is much better then this Barney creature

[Mithrandir]

Why is every topic in here getting spawned with this Barney figure?

Because if you mess with him, he'll come after your family...

[The Count(er)]

It's the signature it influences people do bad things

Barney's will be done