What is your favorite Chuck Norris "Fact"?

[Dayman]

There is no such thing as Evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris let live.

Chuck Norris, being a creationist, probably believes something like that.

[Roman Clone]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

[Rhone]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

[ivan_the_terrible]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Thanks, you made my day!

[The Good]

My favorite Chuck Norris fact is that he is a believer in Jesus Christ; a Christian. It's true, this one's no joke.

[Dayman]

My favorite Chuck Norris fact is that he is a believer in Jesus Christ; a Christian. It's true, this one's no joke.

Wow, he must instantly be a great human being!

[different_13]

I've gotta say, Chuck Norris jokes are ****ing class. I disagree with Pannonian, there is definitely an art to them.
Some great ones so far, keep it up!

[boofhead]

My favorite Chuck Norris fact is that he is a believer in Jesus Christ; a Christian. It's true, this one's no joke.

Not sure why, LJ, but that made me laugh so hard I couldn't see the monitor through the tears.

+rep

[Dayman]

It's true, this one's no joke.

Cue rimshot.

[allthesedamnnamesaretaken]

Most people can pee their name into snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.

[Richard]

I've always liked

"There is no theory of evolution; only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live".

[Zodiac]

When Chuck Norris does a Push-up. He's actually pushing the Earth down.

Your mama is so fat only Chuck Norris could lift her.

The Movie Alien vs. Predator was originally Alien & Predator vs. Chuck Norris. It never got release ,because no one wanted to a movie that was 5 seconds long.

[bushbush]

My favorite Chuck Norris fact is that he is a believer in Jesus Christ; a Christian. It's true, this one's no joke.

jeez...what a buzz kill...

Mr.Buzzlington.

[Sebdeas]

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

[Zadig]

1:Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice.
2:Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.
3:Chuck Norris can break an atom in two, with his bare hands.

[removeduser_426582376423734]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked so fast that he roundhoused kicked his own roundhouse kick.

[Zodiac]

When Chuck Norris was born. The Death Rate went up 1000%.

Chuck Norris Round-Housed kicked the Moon into orbit.

Only two things can scratch Diamonds. Another Diamond and Chuck Norris.

[LSJ]

It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

By the way, without Him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things—and so can you.

Chuck Norris himself says that the jokes aren't jokes - they are facts. But he gives some credit to God.

[Hattori]

Chuck Norris understands the ending of "2001 a space odyssey".

[Balikedes]

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
oh yeah and...
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.