True love and 'soulmates' don't exist

[Shaun]

True love and 'soulmates' don't exist. There is no such thing as 'true love' because love wont last forever, and there is no 'soulmate' (a female who you were meant to be with) for you. There are only females with traits and qualities that you like, which attracts you. The female with the most traits that you like you will be attracted to the most, and vice versa. However, traits are not exclusive to one particular female. Other females may also have the traits that you like, and you will be attracted to them as well; just not as much as to the one who has the most traits that you like. This is why men like other girls, just not as much as their current partner.

However, if a new female comes along who has more traits that you like, then you will be more attracted to her. There is never going to be a woman who has all the traits that you like, so you settle - until you find a woman who has more of the traits you like. This is why relationships usually end, and why flings happen, and why people will have more than one partner.

But, at different stages in our lives, we require different traits from a partner. Stability is not required until later on, until we want to settle down. When we're young, we want to have fun - and lots of sex! - so we look for a girl who will offer these. But when we want to settle down, we look for more mature qualities. Stability, intelligence, maturity, are more required, because this is a potential mother to our children. That is why you will not marry your highschool sweetheart, or the chick who you met after that. That is why couples grow apart at certain ages.

Billions of women are in the world, though. And out of them, it's extremely likely that there is another one who has a lot of the qualities that you like - even more of them than what your current partner has. She wasn't the one, you'll find a new one, and probably a better one, if you look hard enough. So soul mates don't exist, and neither does true love, because the girl that you love currently is only the one that you know that has the most traits that you like.

Discuss.

[Ummagumma]

You forgot about pheromones and other similar elements to attraction, but essentially you are correct.
Still, when you do fall for someone it is all-encompassing and beautiful. Like an itch you can't scratch it is always there regardless of what else you are doing. At least that is what I've found - maybe I just tend to fall further than some others. I wouldn't have it any other way though!

[Taxandrius]

bah, love, ... just a cesspit of emotions ....

[Shaun]

You forgot about pheromones and other similar elements to attraction, but essentially you are correct.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking too sexually, but I suppose pheromones could be put under 'traits'.

Still, when you do fall for someone it is all-encompassing and beautiful. Like an itch you can't scratch it is always there regardless of what else you are doing. At least that is what I've found - maybe I just tend to fall further than some others. I wouldn't have it any other way though!

Agreed. I hate falling for a girl. It's frustrating and you can't get her out of your head. I've found it does help when trying to get with other girls because you show no outcome dependence, so wont be afraid of rejection and wont really care about them at all since she's not the one you want. You remain emotionally distant, and girls seem to love that.

[H_man]

You forgot about pheromones and other similar elements to attraction, but essentially you are correct.
Still, when you do fall for someone it is all-encompassing and beautiful. Like an itch you can't scratch it is always there regardless of what else you are doing. At least that is what I've found - maybe I just tend to fall further than some others. I wouldn't have it any other way though!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that humans don't use pheromones to attract mates. Or, in any case, our intelligence makes it ineffectual.

[wilting]

Soulmates don't exist in the sense of somebody you are destined to be with.

But highly compatable individuals do exist.

'Love' exists. Tough luck if you haven't experienced it.

[HopliteElite]

Isn't it funny that considering there are over six billion people in the world, people almost always just happen to live within a 100 mile radius of their "soulmate"? Pretty convenient.

'Love' exists. Tough luck if you haven't experienced it.

Romantic love exists only as a social construct. There are civilizations, for instance, that are still on the tribal level and have no concept of romantic love whatsoever. If love were a true emotion like anger or fear, it would be universal but it is not, which proves it is not in the same realm as true emotions.

[Shaun]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that humans don't use pheromones to attract mates. Or, in any case, our intelligence makes it ineffectual.

We don't deliberately do it, no; but subconsciously they're there and working.

[Ummagumma]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that humans don't use pheromones to attract mates. Or, in any case, our intelligence makes it ineffectual.

We are still animals.. Everyone still emits various chemicals, mainly through sweat and such (yes, deodorant stops any odour but the chemicals are still there). We have gone past scent marking and 'using' pheromones in the same way other animals do but we are still effected by them, just as oxytocin, adrenaline and such effect our mood regardless as to our intelligence.

Shaun: I love falling in love. Occasionally I have these 'moments of clarity' and think "what the hell, I'm acting like Hugh Grant in some stupid film" but it always passes. In fact I think it's the best experience I've had or ever will have. Withdrawl is just as intense but thankfully short lived.

[Dunecat]

[Thanatos]

Wow! Discovery of the century!

At least you know this. Most people still think this exists.

[Dunecat]

Wow! Discovery of the century!

At least you know this. Most people still think this exists.

Aw jeez Thanatos, emo much...

[Thanatos]

Aw jeez Thanatos, emo much...

Well it doesn't, what do you want.... RONNEC?

[Ó Cathasaigh]

I sense a lot of sadness in this thread.

[Thanatos]

I sense a lot of sadness in this thread.

... as if million of voices suddenly cried out in pain and anguish, and then were silenced...

[Ó Cathasaigh]

Hahaha, exactly.

[Erwin Rommel]

*annoying tone*

somebody has been dumped here.........

[Shaun]

*annoying tone*

somebody has been dumped here.........

I've not ever been dumped, because I just hit and quit. Although I am quite sad, as the more experienced I get at getting females, the more I realise it's going to be pretty much impossible for me to get into a long term relationship with them. And my numbers are hardly high.

[Ó Cathasaigh]

That's what I was thinking initially.

[Erwin Rommel]

DONT GIVE UP

I;m sure you'll find your soulma............err i mean partner