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    Default 1000+ things I learned from Rome: Total War

    Since there have been threads like this on other topics (like Medieval II) I decided that Rome should have its own. This is a thread where people may post comedic or serious replies on the subject of things they learned from RTW (including BI and Alexander), and please keep them numbered.
    Thank you very much.


    1. The Res Publica Romana was a confederacy that consisted of 4 factions.
    2. Ancient soldiers loved using dyed clothes - despite the fact that they were extremely expensive.
    3. "Imitation legionaries" were simply legionaries working under non Romans.
    5. Christian priests and Gladiators took part in epic real time battles.
    6. A faction with a great army composition would always be destroyed in a couple of years.
    7. The Praetorian Guard was not the crčme de la crčme of Roman infantry units - Roman firefighters had
    8. All settlements of a certain size (i.e.: large city) all look a like – no matter where they are located.
    9. The idea that Greeks ruled Egypt during the time RTW takes place is a myth – native Egyptians still ruled the country.
    10. Only Romans knew how to make useful pre-battle speeches. However by 363, they forgot how to make them!
    11. Dacians were brown
    12. Thracians loved teal
    13. Sicily was divided into 3 parts.
    14. Scythians did have foot troops
    15. Every gallic or german warlord either was an alcoholic, had a "drunken oncle", or both.
    16. All soldiers marched in perfect order and threw their javelins at the same exact time.
    17. Controlling the colossus on Rhodes acually increased trade profit by 40%
    18. Huge elephants often randomly materialised in cities, 100s of feet tall, which trampled entire armies but failed to kill any of them in each stampede. Also, couldn't get out of the gates.
    19. Romans were actually Americans sent back in time
    20. Iberia was actually a country for some reason.
    21. The entirety of Greece was ruled by the 'of Sparta' family, who thereafter failed to produce any sons or daughters at all.
    22. The Scipii family hated all other Romans because they were forced to wear blue.
    23. In what was calculated to be a perfect rectangle around the world, there was an invisible line which no man could cross, or see anything past. It was just a black space as far as the eye could see. A mystic in Seleucia deemed that they would await the arrival of the mystic and feared 'Expansionis Packus' to lead them over this line, but the coming of this hero never came.
    24. The Roman Republic fell around 220 BC after a bloody civil war between the aforementioned four Roman factions and became the Roman Empire.
    25. Some soldiers of several eastern kingdoms wore pyjamas in battle, some even in pink or baby-blue.
    26. German Woman was employed to yell at their husbands.
    27. Britannia had chariots back then.
    28. all the Greek factions was still using the planlex formation even though they stopped using it in 400BC..
    29. The Romans owned everyone.
    30. Nothing can beat Praetorian cavalry, not even Cataphracts.
    31. The Gallic wars happened much sooner than everyone thought they did, they happened aroung 280 BC.
    32. If you hold more than 20 provinces you'll be making so much money that its not even fun to play the game any more.
    33. German troops actually formed phalanx in battle
    34. all the people over the world used pigs they torched to scare elephants (man if The Romans only knew this when they faced Hannibal!!!)
    35. there was a settlement in upper Germania called "Domus Dulcis Domus"
    36. people from over the entire world within 'The Invisible Line That Could Not Be Crossed" (TILTCNBC) all had their own collor and NEVER dressed in another one, fashion wasn't born yet!!
    37. noble children are always same-looking
    38. when your 17, its cool to be a nobleman, either you'll get 25 bodyguards, an army, or a city
    39. A lot of Roman sons had beards and/or were bald at the age of sixteen.
    40. All Romans were gray at the exact age of 50.
    41. All citizens in a city look the same, men and women.
    42. All generals of a nation wore the same clothing on the battlefield.
    43. Men were assigned units depending on what they looked like, so that all men in a unit would look the same.
    44. If a man made it past a certain point on a battlefield, he could no longer be chased down.
    45. The Seleucids never had a properly sized empire, they only extended from Sardis to Seleucia.
    46. One flaming arrow shot coincidentally right can kill an elephant.
    47. Numidia standards look like the eye of Horus (which is Egyptian)
    48. Rome has about 10 generals garrisoned inside when you attack it in the civil war.
    49. Elephants were the tanks of the ancient world.
    50. When a city rebelled it would amass a huge, highly experienced peasant army.
    51. An army of several thousand men occasionally couldn't keep a certain African town with 400 people under control and manage to kick the army out.
    52. All Roman military advisers used to be Russell Crowe stand-ins.
    53. Wulfs were wiped out because every velite needed one as his personal decoration
    54. A spear needed just to scratch a chariot and it collapsed
    55. The different roman factions believed in different gods and in rome itself there were no tempels
    56. Legionaries in lorica hamata/segmentata used to digg tunnels from time to time
    57. Thre were epic walls in the antique and they were 50 meters high
    58. Siege engineers were the strongest men ever, they were able to move up 2 tonne cataults with 3 men onto a hill
    59. A unit that was ordered to hold its position rather died than turned arround when attacked from behind
    60. Parthians liked the color pink
    61. Successor military training for phalangites included daily masterbation to build up the muscles of their right hand. This enabled them to hold their 18 foot pikes with a single-handed grip 6 inches from the end. It also coincidentally enabled them to live up to the name Megas Phalangite (in Latin that is "Manus Maximus", and in English it is "Russell Crowe").
    62. Carthaginians can only use bow/arrows if they're standing on top of an elephant.
    63. Generals don't have to say much to inspire their troops. In fact, telling the troops they're about to die will usually be greeted with thunderous applause.
    64. Kneeling down will make you invisible to the enemy.
    65. The Romans spoke English
    66. At 200BC there were guys who called themselves the Spanish in Iberia
    67. The Britons conquered a part of Gaul and a part of Germania
    68. At 200BC the Spartans were still the greatest soldiers in the world, and they wore a red dress and had a weird helmet thing on their heads
    69. The Greeks were a united nation fighting under the name "The Greek city state
    70. If you try to fight the Romans....the senate will never declare war and then attack you afterwards..
    71. Only members of the Royal family can command armies... Otherwise any random soldier gets the job.
    72. The britons threw the heads of fallen enemies back at the enemy with devastating results.
    73. Sea travel from Greece to Egypt took a year.
    74. Lone archers with tremendous accuracy and a superhuman rate of fire took position in towers one walls.
    75. When a city was under siege, an exact proportion of men from each unit would die every 6 months, no matter what.
    76. Trade ships were only about 1/20th the size of the smallest warship.
    77. There was an international agreement on the clothing of diplomats.
    78. The trees in Germany were big.
    79. The word 'alliance' has shifted since antiquity, as it used to be a declaration of war if you shared a border with the country that offered it within 6 months.
    80. There are not many well known generals from the era as most never survived their first battle. It was the height of bad form if they didn't charge straight into the front of the strongest phalanx they could see.
    81. There's only one city in every province/region.
    82. The Marian reforms depended on you building a Imperial Palace
    83. The Britons could hold 100s of heads around their waist.
    81. The correct spelling of the pluralization of the Scipio family name, is Scipii, not Scipiones!
    82. All Celtic Britons, and most Germanic tribesmen were blond.
    83. All of the Celtic-Gauls were red haired.
    84. All of the Dacians were brown haired.
    85. All of the Scythians were black haired. (in reality, some were brown haired, and some even blond)
    86. The age of 49 is VERY different from the age of 50. Know why? Hair colour changes from dark to white or grey!
    87. The Seleucid Empire must not have had a very large empire at all, the history books are wrong!
    88. By the year 200 B.C. the Romans expanded throughout Germania, Scythia, Arabia, and Saharan Africa. History books are wrong about them not conquering these places!
    89. Apparently, there was a Roman of the Julii family, who had my exact username! (Get the reference? It's the guy who usually becomes the next Julii Emperor/Imperator)
    90. The famous lorica segmentata armour was actually invented in the late 200s B.C., not the early A.D.s according to popular belief.
    91. All Parthians, even the humble townspeople or farmers, seem very fond of the colour pink.
    92. Germanic warbands could form the Macedonian phalanx formation, the only others beside the Hellenic people, to do this, were the Celtic Gauls.
    93. I learned that ancient wonders and temples had magical qualities to them.
    94. I learned that the Parthian kingdom had a settlement to the far north of the Caspian Sea, I thought only Scythians occupied that area.
    95. I learned that there were....Lesbian...rebels in the city of Pergamum. It turns out that most of these rebels are actually men.
    96. Scythian Head Hunting Maidens were tarty little scrubbers, who could not wait to get their hands on opposing armies, this was because Scythian men used to fire arrows at anything that moved and then gallop away, The more desperate Scythian woman tried to counter this by forming the Scythian Noble women who tried to get their man by shooting him in the leg, unfortunatly they were not very good shots and the Scythian race almost died out. The few survivors went to Canada and formed the Royal Canadian Mounted Police
    97. Eurpeon nations somhow imployed Australians to advise there armies in battle.
    98. Despite being able to dominate every surrounding countrywith 10 horse archers, the Parthians insist on converting their entire population to pink pajama wearing panzies who are shamed by peasants.
    99. Soldiers loved overly arrogant commanders. Veterans who had seen their friends die for some incompetent commanders political career ate up all this talk of bravery from generals with "cowardly" and "clean hands" traits.
    100. If a withdrawing infantry unit is stopped when half of their men are outside the red line in battle, their god will cast them back into the fray with enough force to knock everyone to the ground and send a few men into the air.
    101. the amazones had a male commander
    102. German screeching women actually screeched "All you do all day is sit in front of the phallanx drinking beer" or "No you can't go out berserking until youv'e done the washing up" and in case of dire emergency "Come here big boy mumma needs some lovin". This latter screech was particularily successful against the Gaul and Roman armies causing a near instant rout.
    However it all went horribly wrong when one day they happened to meet the Scythians (who were on the above mentioned migration to Canada) Unfortunatly the Scythians had forgotten about the terror that a womans screech can cause in a grown man and mistaking them for some weird form of wild donkey, simply shot them and galloped around a field for half an hour in a circle
    103. Urban Cohorts were actually soldiers, and not just soldiers; but the best fighters in the world, and could beat everything, anywere.
    104. Seleucid empire had legionaries
    105. 36 scythed chariots could kill 500 legionaries
    106. triarii spearmen was the better roman unit ( i learned it when i played as Carthage . 200 of my horsemen died )
    107. Battles only consisted of a a few thousand troops. not 10's of thousands!
    108. Gaul really had 8 cities instead of the 800 known.
    109. I've learned that the Brutii had anger management problems.
    110. I've learned that Rodos and Pergamon were under Spartan dominion.
    111. I've learned that Gaius Marius was born during 220-200 BC instead of 157 BC. Also, I tend to believe that his conception happened during the construction of an Imperial Palace outside the city of Rome.
    112. I've learned that instead of the fierce hatred of Romans against monarchy, they built Imperial palaces for their governors.
    113. I've learned that Romans detested Gauls, Britons etc because they "are hairy beyond reason!".
    114. I've learned that Roman commanders motivated their men to fight by promising them that "the women of the enemies's camp will be suitably... appreciative, too... Oh yeah!"
    115. I've learned that Greeks didn't paint their shields. Images were soldiers carry shields decorated with mythical creatures is, ironically, myth.
    116. At some point, every Roman city had its own Colousseum.
    117. When forming the Testudo, the brave centurions always walked behind the formation.
    118. The Greeks never worshipeed a godess Athena, or Zeus they only worshiped Nike.
    119. Egytpians liked to wear skirts while in battle. Pants? Bah, who needs 'em.
    120. there was a cheat for emperors that allowed them to grab money out of nowhere.
    121. paticular buildings needed a certain size of citizens.
    122: All of the men in a legion or unit looked exactly the same.
    123. Contrary to popular belief the old Egyptian kingdom didn't fall until the Roman empire conquered them.
    124. No one ever bleeds on the battlefield, even when they have been cleaved,maimed,hacked or stabbed by a weapon.
    125.all soldiers had pointy legs
    126.urban cohorts were the mitiest soldiers ever seen in rome.
    127. The Arcani were an elite unit of Ninjas who destroyed all other units
    128. The ROmans used dogs to defeat enemy armies.
    129. Despite having the BEST archers in the game, ample light cavalry and all the immediate foes wearing no amour untill much later, Gaul never thought of having mounted archers...
    How different it could have been.
    130. If you train with the best for a year, you will be able to hide anywhere, in any terrain, with no cover, wearing black with fringes of your factions colour. And no one will ever know that Arcani stands for Ninja in latin.
    131. Slaughtering the previous occupants of a city makes them love you. Or at least pretend to love you, though they never stab you in the back when you leave, days later.
    132. Gaul was everybodys *****. Even Spain.
    133. I have learnt that there was a mercenary general caller cheatingus gittus who was a military genius and was able to set his army up so that it was impossible to flank them by sitting in the corner of a field, on the top of a mountain or at the end of a bridge, this man was able to convince gullible enemies to attack him across the bridge by telling them that art and elephants were against the rules of war, whilst having the artillery and elephants himself, in some cases he even managed to convince more gullible enemies that swords, spears and shouting loudly were against the rules of war
    134. Soldiers didn't age.
    135. I have learnt that instead of joining the male Scythian migration to Canada, the head hunting maidens instead ended up in Brittannia where they met some very nice young men from the Hurlers tribe who at this stage were only at the boiled egg hurling stage
    This ended up in several marriages (after the maidens had worked their way through the druids and the naked fanatics) and they settled down to a blissful marriage with the maidens out head hunting all day and returning with their bounty so that their men folk could go down the tavern in the evening, bombing a few peasants on their way home
    136. naked fanatics, the men who became famous for their courage of fighting naked, actually wore a skirt.
    137. The Clone Wars didnt happen long time ago in a galaxay far away, they happened between 2270 and 2000 ago here on earth.
    138. When allies would help you in battle and they appeared on the other side of the city, they would run alongside the wall defences to charge into the city without any battle planning.
    139. In the event allies actually took the city and you just stood outside, you kindly shook their hand and gave thanks before claiming the city as your own.
    140. that assassins clubed people to death
    141. You can create great Mods based on RTW
    144. Despite popular belief, of you enlisted in the Roman army, you weren't in it for 25 years. You were in for life, which in some cases was roughly 300 years...
    145. A horse running at full speed down a steep slope, over hundreds of bodies probably covered in their own slippery blood, would never just fall over. They bever tripped over corpses or anything.
    146. No matter how many ports you blockade, no matter how much trade you disrupt and no matter how much devastation you cause, the AI will never never run our of money.
    146. If your generals unit is runing away from a bigger general unit, and you give an order on the other side of the battle field, the general will stop running and make his horse stand on its hind legs so his shout can be heard, a mile away. He will be the only unit in the generals cav to die in the subsequent exchange...
    147. Back in their day, everyone respected spies and assassins as valuable members of the community. They just weren't allowed inside the city. If they tried to get in they would be executed. But if met on the plains, armies would afford them the same free passage as a merchant.
    148. The Punic wars are just myths. Carthage never made it off Scicily, let alone Northern Africa.
    149. If left alone, the Britons will crush all surrounding barbarians tribes, completely dominating all untill the meet romans. Then they never win another battle. Ever.
    150. Despite popular belief, the Roman senate had NO power at all. It was other romans who chose who would govern and where Rome's armies would march next. The Senate occasionally gave small suggestions, but these were largely ignored, and no consequence followed.
    151. Most of Rome's armies were controlled by three of the large families, who dressed them in bright red, green and blue. The Senate kept a slightly lower profile, dressing it's army in purple.
    152. Family members and Agents could get old and die, but regular soldiers in a unit never aged.
    153. When an army had lost all of its units except its general it was customary(sp?) for the general to find a phalanx and skewer himself on the spears.
    154. Although Dyonisus(sp?) was a greek god, it would invoke a lot of cultural unrest when the Greek Cities came in control of the settlement that owned said temple.
    155. When you conquered Hallicarnisus (sp? and well, i mean the place that has the mausoleum), your construction workers suddenly got a lot better(faster) at their work.
    156. No matter how many tiumes a settlement reppelled full stacks from its walls, the neighbouring faction (if an enemy) will always send in more stacks, with the exact same strategies and little changes in the units it consists of.
    157: That 1 spy could evade the gaurds and open up the gate to an enemy city.
    158. That Romans had american and English accents
    159. That everyone in that period had the exact same facial expression all the time
    160. That rams can swing themselves with apparently no pushing or pulling
    161. That everyone in one battalion had the same hair and face
    162. You could actually transport an entire army with only one small boat.
    163. In sea battles, the ships would never be damaged; only the crew died in a battle.
    164. there were no languages that time, everyone spoke the same language, but they just had a stupid accent which divided them
    165. Archers had longer range then slingers.
    166. Greek hoplites used the macedonian phalanx.
    167. When berserkers fought they would throw men 6 feet into the air, and sometimes as many as 5 men at a time.
    168. Romans and Greek soldiers loved the smell of burning bacon, it would lift their spirits on the battle field.
    169. When an army lost a battle, and it was followed by the enemy that wanted to kill all the survivors, the survivors could escape easily after trepassing a red line which surrounded the battlefield, no matter how much the followers were near to them...
    170. an army of war dogs could kick butt.
    171. Rome was the capital of the Roman Empire, wtf?
    172. I learneded all ma historee! (why did I get a D in my History exam?)
    173. You had to be careful out in the countryside, or GIANT MEN could crush you instantly!
    174. It was customary for men, agents, to be twice as big as whole cities, and for tons of giants (eg. 5 diplomats) to fit into one small warship.
    175. if the ram gets burned, the proper practice was for the unit pushing the ram to let the towers gun them down without moving.
    176.there were numerous "freds" in the towers, not just one.
    177. Just how corrupting power can be. ("I'll let Londinum revolt, then crush it and exterminate the population, rather than build city plumbing")
    178. In ancient times, soldiers swore an oath of loyalty to their unit so strong that when they were beaten in battle and ran away - they would still stay together, even if a pursuing enemy force was slaughtering them. This behavior still exists in fish and other high-intelligence animals.
    179. it took 6 months to train a cohort from scratch.
    180. Romans had ninjas that could hide anywhere on the battlefield.
    181. the barbarian tribes in Germania knew how to form a phalanx.
    182. the Parthian Empire controlled only a very tiny realm. Not even Persis
    183. Setting pigs on fire had other uses apart from cooking them.
    184. Hannibal actually fell the first time he met the Romans in combat. And he usually fell a few decades before his supposed birth.
    185. Routing charioteers who were oblivious to the world would have enough sense to run into the opposing general, killing him, then promptly turning around and wreck all the infantry formations. Then they would be shot by arrows and start runing amok and repeat the process.
    Pontus scum...
    186. When people addressed Greek generals, they would reply: "Genital? Genital! Gentiaaal!"
    187. Chariots that ran amok killed everything but other chariots, and never crashed.
    188. Barbarians actually called themselves "Barbarians" ("Barbarian mercenaries!")
    189. The best armor the Greeks could afford for their general's bodyguard was a straw hat.
    190. Soldiers used golden spearheads... why else would generals leap into them?
    191. Wooden bridges never collapsed, even under the weight of thousands.
    192. Screaming nonsense improved your attack ability.
    193. All eastern generals wore a little iron ball on their helmet, for good luck.
    194. Soldiers NEVER pulled down their face guards.
    195. Cities of thousands were easily kept orderly by 28 calvary men.
    196. International laws of war prohibited soldiers from killing elephant drivers.
    197. For ancient mercenaries, every day was Saint Patrick's Day.
    198. A city of 30,000 was subdued by 100 spearmen, assuming those loitered in the center of town for at least 3 minutes.
    199. Independent nations (rebels), were all linked together as one faction. They were united in... independence?
    200: NATO wasn't formed in the 1980's...they were formed in the 280BC!!
    201. Ancient cavalrymen loved their horses so much that if the horse was brought down in battle, then the rider would collapse with a cardiac arrest brought on by grief.
    202. when troops fight they have flags that hover over them and flash when they start running away.
    203. battlefields are marked by red outlines
    204. if u stab ur ally with ur spear u wont kill him it goes through him but it wont kill him, however if u shoot arrows at him while he is in battle u will kill him. (ex. friendly phalanxes w/ spears pointing at each other, and archers firing arrows whilst u are attacking)
    205. desperate housewives existed back in 250 BC (germanian women)
    206. there are no such thing as naval battles. they just random contests and tell you who won.
    207. u were only allowed to be hit once or if ur lucky, twice. no matter how bad the wound(s).
    208:which ,amazingly,what the Pharaoh says when he wants you to give up your land.
    209. Huns have greek accent
    210. the end of the world would come and every faction would get a message of game over at some point
    211. when pursuing enemies all u have to do is run into them and they die
    212: A single spy could open all the gates of a major fortress city - and presumably sit there and watch as your soldiers still use towers and ladders to capture the gatehouse to save the lives of anyone wishing to actually use the gate.
    213. the egyptians loved the great pyramid so much that whoever controlled them, the egyptans instantly turned loyalty to them no matter who it was.
    214. everyone was white, except the nubians. they were segregated from the rest of the world. the only white people that loved them were the egyptians. thats y they used them to die.
    215. there were no jews back then.
    216. having a shrine to the god of smiths instantly gives ur weapons a finer quality. or having a shrine to a god of war instantly gives your raw recruits more experience than other raw recruits from different cities.
    217. the Collosuss Of Rhodes never was destroyed by an earthquake
    218. some people can randomly jump 30 ft in the air.
    219. In ancient times a reputation for personal heroism was a vital motivator for men to go to war. With this in mind, all siege ladders were fitted with spotlights so that should the men have to climb in the shadow of the wall, their valour would be highlighted, Hollywood style, for all to see.The spotlights used advanced sensors that lit up a man as soon as he reached the head of the queue for the ladder. Archaeologists are desparately searching for the secret of this technology in order to help combat the effects of global warming.
    220. Roman troops had a strange way to grab their pila. They just standed still for a few seconds and the pilum appeared in his hand magically.
    221. when they kill enough they experince some buddhist like transfiguration or they just sparkle.............for a short period to recognize that they have killed sooooooooo many people.
    222. scythed blades in chariots suck.............they cant even cut a legionnaire in half
    223. A few soldiers can grab one end of a 100 foot tall ladder and swing the other end through the air to press it against the wall.
    224. Phalanx spear sucks.....coz they cant even pierce ****
    225. There is no such thing as blood.
    226. All soldiers in ancient times had psyquic powers. That explains how they move a giant siege tower without touching it.
    227. it was impossble for troops at the top of a wall to push a ladder of the side of the wall to stop the enemy from reaching the top.
    228. when druids can mumble mumbo jumbo and for some reason your units ability to attack others just magically goes down.
    229. Horses get tired while standing still when their riders are shooting arrows
    230. It takes 10 years to travel from spain to parthia.
    231. I've learned to hate Asterix and Obelix comics/cartoons just because they are stinking gauls. I mean seriously, how do they beat the roman legions so easily? ŹŹ Blasphemy... BLASPHEMY I SAY
    232. If you captured a city, the general of the army inside would immediately die even if you did nothing to him.
    233. When horses crash into men, the men can become gymnasts and do acrobatic moves like back flips.
    234. The story of the Incredible Hulk is actually based on solid fact. We scoff at the heroes of the ancient sagas of Homer and others, but what we don't understand is that people of that time had a gene that gave them superhuman strength when they reached a sufficient level of anger. Rome Total War simulates this faithfully in its seige assault game. The attackers only have a limited time to defeat all of the defenders before their emotions reach such a pitch that the "Hulk" effect kicks in. Once they achieve this state, even a single defender can defeat an entire attacking army. This is the true reason why so few seige assaults succeeded in classical times. The story of the Wooden Horse is a perfect illustration of how to circumvent the "Hulk" effect. The Trojans were clearly so busy laughing at the horse (which had been equipped with extra-small genitalia to provoke exactly this reaction) that they were unable to build up to the proper pitch of anger before the Greeks slaughtered the lot of them. The genetic sequence which causes this effect is only now beginning to be understood by the scientific community. We have discovered that it is almost always switched off in modern people owing to the effect an otherwise harmless New World virus that came back to Europe with Leif Ericsson. The virus clearly had catastrophic effect on the Vikings, their abilites in the raping and pillaging department dropped off sharply after it began to spread amongst their population. Modern warfare has had to change radically to compensate for the loss of the berzerker reaction. It is only the invention of rules or war (such as those of Chivalry) and euphamisms (such as "collateral damage") that have enabled us to carrying on fighting at all.
    235. That when something is hit by a flaming missile, the fire burns out immediately.
    236. Contact with a flaming missile results in the target instantly bursting into flames, be the target a Peasant or a metal-laden Cataphract.
    237. Catapaults could not attack civilian structures, they just wouldn't.
    238. The fog of war actually exists nobody could see anything of the known world
    239. Rebels would always win navel battles (actually they have the better ship)
    240. Other factions could get 30 elephants on to one ship and still have room for more
    241. The Gauls never sack Rome
    242. There is no such thing as surrender
    243. Pirates have a spawn rate and just pop up out of nowhere.
    244. Scythed chariots had all sorts of spikes on top of the chariots to pierce all the soldiers that wanted to sneak up on them from the sky.
    245. Despite the crew wearing long mail coats, Egyptian chariots could collapse from a single arrow.
    246. When a rock shot from an onager hit the ground, it would bounce once and then sink instantly into the ground.
    247. Even though a nation had 10 full stack armies wandering around, conquering their capital made them join the "Great Rebel Independent Nation".
    248. Forts and watchtowers were built in a second.
    249. Alot of people in ancient times turned and became brigands, they could be seen everywhere!
    250: When chariot horses die, their crew die with them, and vice versa.



    First 250 compiled... - Garnier
    Last edited by 501st Legion; March 07, 2009 at 10:19 PM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    11. Dacians were brown
    12. Thracians loved teal
    13. Sicily was divided into 3 parts.
    14. Scythians did have foot troops
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:34 AM.

  3. #3
    green tea's Avatar Ducenarius
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    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    15. Every gallic or german warlord either was an alcoholic, had a "drunken oncle", or both.
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:34 AM.

  4. #4

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    16. All soldiers marched in perfect order and threw their javelins at the same exact time.

  5. #5

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    17. Controlling the colossus on Rhodes acually increased trade profit by 40%
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:34 AM.
    End of an era

  6. #6

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    18. Huge elephants often randomly materialised in cities, 100s of feet tall, which trampled entire armies but failed to kill any of them in each stampede. Also, couldn't get out of the gates.

    19. Romans were actually Americans sent back in time

    20. Iberia was actually a country for some reason.

    21. The entirety of Greece was ruled by the 'of Sparta' family, who thereafter failed to produce any sons or daughters at all.

    22. The Scipii family hated all other Romans because they were forced to wear blue.

    23. In what was calculated to be a perfect rectangle around the world, there was an invisible line which no man could cross, or see anything past. It was just a black space as far as the eye could see. A mystic in Seleucia deemed that they would await the arrival of the mystic and feared 'Expansionis Packus' to lead them over this line, but the coming of this hero never came.
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM.

  7. #7
    joerd9's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    24. The Roman Republic fell around 220 BC after a bloody civil war between the aforementioned four Roman factions and became the Roman Empire.

    25. Some soldiers of several eastern kingdoms wore pyjamas in battle, some even in pink or baby-blue.
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM.

  8. #8
    Civitate
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    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    You know, if you don't like the game, you don't have to play it and certainly don't have to post a thousand long pedantic list detailing every reason why a video game is not 110% historically accurate.
    Under the patronage of Rhah and brother of eventhorizen.

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
    You know, if you don't like the game, you don't have to play it and certainly don't have to post a thousand long pedantic list detailing every reason why a video game is not 110% historically accurate.
    I don't think they don't like the game, there just making observations, which I personally find quite funny, in short, "Ease up turbo!"......
    (Transaltion to American from Australian= "Chill out dude")

    97. Eurpeon nations somhow imployed Australians to advise there armies in battle.
    Last edited by Amroth; February 16, 2008 at 06:24 PM. Reason: dp
    "When God gives you lemons you find a new God..."

  10. #10

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    26. German Woman was employed to yell at their husbands.
    27. Britannia had chariots back then.
    28. all the Greek factions was still using the planlex formation even though they stopped using it in 400BC..
    29. The Romans owned everyone.
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM.
    I'M BAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!

  11. #11

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    Quote Originally Posted by supeerme View Post
    26. German Woman was employed to yell at their husbands.
    27. Britannia had chariots back then.
    The tribes on Britannia actually did use chariots.
    29, LET'S GO

  12. #12

    Icon3 Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    Quote Originally Posted by supeerme View Post
    26. German Woman was employed to yell at their husbands.
    27. Britannia had chariots back then.
    28. all the Greek factions was still using the planlex formation even though they stopped using it in 400BC..
    29. The Romans owned everyone.
    Hmmm... The Britons used chariots in warfare, during the Roman invasions that Julius Caesar led, and also during the conquest of Britain ordered by Emperor Claudius (some of the Iceni, led by Queen Boudicca, used chariots in warfare).

    For more information, you might like to read this article:

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/article714033.ece

    "Planlex formation"? I guess you mean the "phalanx formation". Well, actually: the Macedonians lost in battles against the Roman army because they were still using the phalanx formation in 197BC and 168BC:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cynoscephalae
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Pydna

    The Seleucids lost in battles against the Roman army because they were still using the phalanx formation in 190BC:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Magnesia

    For more information, I recommend these 2 articles -

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phalanx_formation
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macedonian_phalanx
    "Just because you don't take an interest in politics, does not mean politics won't take an interest in you"
    - Pericles, 430BC

  13. #13

    Default Re: 1000+ things I learned from Rome: Total War

    You know quoting material from Wikipedia inst the best idea as it is most often inaccurate or just a load of rubbish altogether.
    Ive been told to avoid Wikipedia like the plague when researching for papers for this very reason. In fact Ive heard you can lose marks for using wiki as a source...

    Not saying what you have linked is wrong just warning ya
    Aulus Petillius Vespasianus: Patrician, Senator, Age 32

  14. #14

    Default Re: 1000+ things I learned from Rome: Total War

    Quote Originally Posted by Imperator_OfRome View Post
    You know quoting material from Wikipedia inst the best idea as it is most often inaccurate or just a load of rubbish altogether.
    Ive been told to avoid Wikipedia like the plague when researching for papers for this very reason. In fact Ive heard you can lose marks for using wiki as a source...

    Not saying what you have linked is wrong just warning ya
    ho ho, you never, EVER, EVER want to reference wiki in anything you do.
    Once saw some guys cite some data from wikipedia for a presentation on environmental economics. the lecturer was not pleased

  15. #15

    Default Re: 1000+ things I learned from Rome: Total War

    ho ho, you never, EVER, EVER want to reference wiki in anything you do.
    Once saw some guys cite some data from wikipedia for a presentation on environmental economics. the lecturer was not pleased
    I bet he wasn't. its major problem is that any old person can get onto it and wright what they want
    Aulus Petillius Vespasianus: Patrician, Senator, Age 32

  16. #16
    joerd9's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    @Shaun: Take it easy. Noone here doesn't like the game. It's just a little laugh.

  17. #17
    Ephialtes The Dog's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    30. Nothing can beat Praetorian cavalry, not even Cataphracts.

    31. The Gallic wars happened much sooner than everyone thought they did, they happened aroung 280 BC.

    32. If you hold more than 20 provinces you'll be making so much money that its not even fun to play the game any more.
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM.
    "So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show."

    -Del Preston

  18. #18

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    Quote Originally Posted by Ephialtes The Dog View Post
    30. Nothing can beat Praetorian cavalry, not even Cataphracts.
    BLASPHEMY

    play the game online to find out what cataphracts do to praetorians


  19. #19

    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    yeah man, just laughing a bit

    33. German troops actually formed phalanx in battle
    34. all the people over the world used pigs they torched to scare elephants (man if The Romans only knew this when they faced Hannibal!!!)
    35. there was a settlement in upper Germania called "Domus Dulcis Domus"
    36. people from over the entire world within 'The Invisible Line That Could Not Be Crossed" (TILTCNBC) all had their own collor and NEVER dressed in another one, fashion wasn't born yet!!
    Last edited by Garnier; February 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM.
    One land, One king

    Proud member of the SPQR TW community


  20. #20
    Erwin Rommel's Avatar EYE-PATCH FETISH
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    Default Re: 1000 things I learned from Rome: Total War

    37. noble children are always same-looking
    38. when your 17, its cool to be a nobleman, either you'll get 25 bodyguards, an army, or a city

    (Its clickable by the way....An S2 overhaul mod.)

    Seriously. Click it. Its the only overhaul mod that's overhauling enough to bring out NEW clans
    Masaie. Retainer of Akaie|AntonIII






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