So, I went to an Evangelical church today...

[Zenith Darksea]

My girlfriend, much to my frustration, is a low church Evangelical Protestant. For those of you who aren't well acquainted with that terminology, if basically means that they're ultra Protestant. They have very little (if any) of traditional Christianity in their belief or their worship. Instead, what they have was made up on the fly in the early twentieth century, though it does find deeper roots in some nineteenth century movements.

So, I said that I'd agree to go to one of her services. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't expecting to get anything out of it, and Orthodox aren't supposed to pray alongside the heterodox anyway. I was just there as an observer. What hit me as I entered the church? Well, it was a big place that had clearly once been a respectable, high church (i.e. traditional) Anglican church, but which now boasted what I can only describe as disco lights, enormous TV screens and a stage with an in-house rock band. This was what I had come for really - I wanted to hear the rock music and see the crazy prophesying and speaking in tongues for myself.

What quickly became clear however was that the 'service' was really, really boring. I mean, so boring that I was yawning an embarrassingly large number of times, repeatedly glancing at my watch and practically crying with the sheer banality of it all.

What's that? Boring? But they had Christian rock and strobe lighting! Maybe so, but the songs all had almost identical rhythms and melodies, and as for the words, not only were they all extremely similar between songs, but they barely had any levels of meaning to them whatsoever. By that I mean that the lyrics were virtually meaningless.

Then a nice lady came up and told us that she was going to pray. What came out of her mouth? A string of, "O Lord... I just... I just, Lord... like, I just pray that... you know..." What a waste of time! I barely understood her, frankly. It's a good thing that God is omniscient.

Next up, the sermon. A guy came up, read a bit of Mark's Gospel, and then started expounding on it. Actually, what he said was pretty sound. Not very complex or at all incisive (there was a bit of the bleedin' obvious about it), but I didn't have any arguments with it. But it went on for well over an hour - just to analyse about eleven verses of one Gospel story! Never mind, because here comes excitement - the band are back on stage!

More tedium. And then some. Then the lady came out again and related a 'prophecy' to us that one of the audience (sorry, 'congregation') had just had. This person had visualised one of the images from the story. That was the lamest excuse for a prophecy that I had ever seen. Then it was over (after over two hours of this), and I nearly sprinted for the door, a surprised girlfriend in tow.

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Now, here's the worrying bit - this is the main Evangelical church of Oxford University, one of the top universities in all of Europe, and probably the world. And there were a lot of university students there. Now I don't see a problem with an intelligent person being religious - I myself am a university student and a Christian - but these students are meant to be the brightest and most intellectual students that Britain has to produce.

This worship service was totally bereft of meaning. Nothing happened. Obviously people had a tedious sing-song and so on, but nothing concrete or spiritual actually happened. There was no Grace of God present (nobody seemed aware of the concept), none of this made you feel closer to Heaven, and it was certainly not inspirational on any level whatsoever. You would have literally got just as much out of staying in your room and praying incoherently there. How could these people settle for such a waste of their time?

[Dayman]

This worship service was totally bereft of meaning.

Now you know how I feel about most religious service.

However, I can agree with you, that the traditional churches that are works of art are a lot more "inspiring". I still hold a soft spot for the old Catholic Mass, I mean, it's a form of art in my opinion. I obviously don't believe in it anymore but I'd go to Christmas Mass just to hear the real Christmas songs and the beautiful music.

[Gary88]

oh dear lord that sounds awful (are you at oxford btw because its considered in the top 3 in the world) i personally have found normal church services to be tedious and dull but having to go through what sounds like a pathetic and patronising attempt to 'reach out to the kids' sounds ironically like hell on earth. i mean, what idiot decided a good way to worship god was by listening to really really bad guitar music. also the way you describe the church horrifies me, i mean i'm an atheist but if there is one thing i like about religion is that people devoted to God are awfully devoted to fine architecture so it really sickens me that you would take a beautifull church and fill it with staging for such ********.

[Ó Cathasaigh]

I go to a more Baptist Church at College that is less ritualistic than my usual DoC church at home.

I don't really see any differences in the important teachings however. Christian is Christian, we shouldn't descriminate too much. This coming from an ex-Catholic Protestant

[Exarch]

the only thing i care about, besides if they give out free bibles, is if they also serve popcorn.
and whose to say u cant jump up and cry 'hallelujah, praise the lord!!'

[Ó Cathasaigh]

the only thing i care about, besides if they give out free bibles, is if they also serve popcorn.
and whose to say u cant jump up and cry 'hallelujah, praise the lord!!'

Some people make me think. Do Atheists ALL do nothing but think of ways to slight religion? Then I look at most atheists who don't care and thank God they're at least a little sensible.

[Zenith Darksea]

(are you at oxford btw because its considered in the top 3 in the world)

Yes, I'm at St John's College, Oxford University.

I don't really see any differences in the important teachings however. Christian is Christian, we shouldn't descriminate too much.

One problem that I found with this Evangelical church was that there wasn't any evidence of any important teachings, aside from the idea that Christ died to save our sins and that it was really important to worship. I mean, in an Orthodox Divine Liturgy everything is absolutely imbued with meaning and all your senses are turned towards Heaven. What is more, you actually get concrete, noticeable spiritual benefits out of the Divine Liturgy. I agree that Christian is Christian, but I myself can't understand how this sort of worship can be satisfying.

[Exarch]

zenith
the things we endure for the quest for pussy...
just how hardcore evangelical is she?

[Zenith Darksea]

the things we endure for the quest for pussy...

Well put!

just how hardcore evangelical is she?

She's actually not all that bad. It's not too big a deal between us, and she at least didn't do any of the silly dances that I saw some other people doing.

[kev-o]

Interesting, since I just happened to have gone to a Baptist church service today. It was something that I hadn't expected. Nothing but singing and a sermon. They don't even have a cross in the main room of worship! And to top it all off, the sermon was given by someone from a group called Answers in Genesis and works at the Creation Musuem. So I got the whole Creationism 101 lecture. I am still stunned that people believe that the dinosarus lived among Adam and Eve and the Earth is a couple thousand years old. There was even a bunch of liturature they were selling on how evolution is false and whatnot. This was too fundamental for my tastes. I managed to pick up some free literature that have exerps from the books. I'm gonna read them and see what stuff they have to say. Needless to say I much rather enjoy the traditional style of church service rather than this.

[Thanatos]

Zenith, you fool! Why did you go?! I could have told you what it was like! I was an Evangelical once, before I became Catholic!

[Zenith Darksea]

Zenith, you fool! Why did you go?!

Well, it was partly to appease my girlfriend (it also makes it easier to justify getting her to go to Orthodox services). But also, although this will sound quite rude, I went there for the same reason that people go to see a circus show...

[Thanatos]

Well, it was partly to appease my girlfriend (it also makes it easier to justify getting her to go to Orthodox services). But also, although this will sound quite rude, I went there for the same reason that people go to see a circus show...

Well, all it really is is a bunch of people standing around saying "Praise Jesus" a bunch, although of course they could say those words in any format, obviously.

Then, they have a pastor *cough*self-appointed priest*cough* come up and give some talk about whatever.

And that's an Evangelical service. Actually, that's every Protestant service. I've been to a ton. Baptist, Lutheran, Evangelical, Chinese Methodist... I could go on and on.

But I will admit that you have a good plan... perhaps I shall do that with my Protestant girlfriend... :hmmm:

[kev-o]

Evangelicals are the bane to the traditional Christian ways. Its all about raising your hands in the air singing Christian rock and crying while speaking in tongues.

Catholic and Lutheran mass are better.

[Tarif]

I went to my old gf's Evangenical church a few times and felt the same way. 5,000 people in that stupid place and they can't even make it inspiring.

The guy on the drums was rubbish too. They have the right idea (guitars in chrurch) but they don't quite make it.

However I would absolutely love it if Underoath or Haste the Day played there.

[Exarch]

incredible
christians will even attempt to convert other christians to their 'branch' of christianity.
The Judeo-christian religions resemble viruses more than anything else i've ever seen.

[kev-o]

5,000 people

Thats a lot.

[Zenith Darksea]

christians will even attempt to convert other christians to their 'branch' of christianity.

Well duh... You didn't think that happened? Anyway, with religion there is only one truth. When you have multiple different 'version's (especially endemic in Protestantism) and you are presented with what is historically and theologically the original, and thus the correct, 'branch', it's not a big surprise if you convert.

[Lawrence of Arabia]

You think what you did was bad? I once went to a mass in a Hispanic Catholic church on November 1st. I've never been stared at so much in my life...

I ended up going to the bathroom and eating my Halloween candy after an hour or so. (I was 11-12)

[KingOfTheIsles]

This worship service was totally bereft of meaning. Nothing happened. Obviously people had a tedious sing-song and so on, but nothing concrete or spiritual actually happened. There was no Grace of God present (nobody seemed aware of the concept), none of this made you feel closer to Heaven, and it was certainly not inspirational on any level whatsoever. You would have literally got just as much out of staying in your room and praying incoherently there. How could these people settle for such a waste of their time?

A very eloquent and truthful argument about religion in general. Utterly unintentional, of course, but hey. I sometimes wonder how Christianity became the dominant religion on Earth when it seems to be its own worst enemy.

what is historically and theologically the original, and thus the correct, 'branch'

You can't honestly defend that logic, surely?