Epic Poem, criticism/evaluation would be appreciated

Thread: Epic Poem, criticism/evaluation would be appreciated

  1. chaplain118's Avatar

    chaplain118 said: October 27, 2007 11:46 PM

    Icon6 Epic Poem, criticism/evaluation would be appreciated

    Poem has found a new home in the Roma Surrectum AAR forum
    Last edited by chaplain118; December 27, 2007 at 06:55 PM.

    Crusades
    Historical fiction - Fifty Tales from Rome


    Can YOU dance like the Cookie Man?
    Improbe amor quid non mortalia pectora cogis? - The Aeneid
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  2. Banned's Avatar

    Banned said: October 28, 2007 05:36 AM

    Default Re: BELLA PUNICORUM - AN INSPIRED EPIC POEM

    Moved to the Arts section. Btw, nice poem there.
    Наиболее полное истребитель в мире
     

  3. IndianPrince's Avatar

    IndianPrince said: October 28, 2007 01:21 PM

    Default Re: BELLA PUNICORUM - AN INSPIRED EPIC POEM

    Really amazing poem !!! Good job there ... i would in some places the rhythm does get a lil wavy but overall its excellent !!!

    Edit: + rep

    Prince
    Growing Up In The Universe <- Check It Out !!!
     

  4. Pius Aeneas said: October 29, 2007 10:20 PM

    Default Re: BELLA PUNICORUM - AN INSPIRED EPIC POEM

    Interesting, it's follows the same style as the Aeneid, start "in media res"
     

  5. chaplain118's Avatar

    chaplain118 said: October 31, 2007 09:21 PM

    Default Re: BELLA PUNICORUM - AN INSPIRED EPIC POEM

    I'm drawing inspiration from the Aeneid.
    Last edited by chaplain118; October 31, 2007 at 11:13 PM.

    Crusades
    Historical fiction - Fifty Tales from Rome


    Can YOU dance like the Cookie Man?
    Improbe amor quid non mortalia pectora cogis? - The Aeneid
    I run an Asteroid mining website. Visit it before James Cameron takes it from me.
     

  6. chaplain118's Avatar

    chaplain118 said: November 06, 2007 11:29 PM

    Default Re: BELLA PUNICORUM - AN INSPIRED EPIC POEM

    updated.

    Crusades
    Historical fiction - Fifty Tales from Rome


    Can YOU dance like the Cookie Man?
    Improbe amor quid non mortalia pectora cogis? - The Aeneid
    I run an Asteroid mining website. Visit it before James Cameron takes it from me.
     

  7. Your Lame Sister's Avatar

    Your Lame Sister said: November 07, 2007 09:18 AM

    Default Re: Inspired Epic Poem of the Punic Wars

    kickass poem, man. I suggest you'll try to use the actual names of people/places as little as possible, or use metaphores instead. it makes it sound more 'poetic'.
    keep it coming!
    "Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." - Mark Twain

    "I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay." - Bob Dylan

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  8. chaplain118's Avatar

    chaplain118 said: November 09, 2007 08:55 PM

    Default Re: Inspired Epic Poem of the Punic Wars

    updated

    Crusades
    Historical fiction - Fifty Tales from Rome


    Can YOU dance like the Cookie Man?
    Improbe amor quid non mortalia pectora cogis? - The Aeneid
    I run an Asteroid mining website. Visit it before James Cameron takes it from me.
     

  9. Pius Aeneas said: November 18, 2007 08:58 PM

    Default Re: Inspired Epic Poem of the Punic Wars

    ooh, elephant lines!
     

  10. Juno's Avatar

    Juno said: November 19, 2007 10:15 AM

    Default Re: Epic Poem, criticism/evaluation would be appreciated

    What rhyme structure did you use?


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  11. chaplain118's Avatar

    chaplain118 said: November 19, 2007 04:29 PM

    Default Re: Epic Poem, criticism/evaluation would be appreciated

    iambic or trochaic (I could never figure out which is which) pentameter

    Crusades
    Historical fiction - Fifty Tales from Rome


    Can YOU dance like the Cookie Man?
    Improbe amor quid non mortalia pectora cogis? - The Aeneid
    I run an Asteroid mining website. Visit it before James Cameron takes it from me.