Today I returned Kingdoms. I bought it yesterday afternoon. I got a full refund at my local store (which shall remain nameless for its own protection) but it was a big box retailer that is a huge player in the American market. So I thought I would pass on my tips on how to do this, as this is the 3rd piece of software I have returned for a full refund despite the box being opened.

They try to act as if the box being opened is the end of the discussion. It isnt. As long as your software fits the following conditions, you can return it successfully.

1. Must be undamaged and have all its original pieces (dont try to leave out the map or soundtrack CD, not cool).
2. You must be able to prove you bought it. Receipt is the best way, but if the store keeps track of this stuff electronically, they can look up that you bought it.
3. It must be within 2-3 weeks of the sale or in early January (so that "I bought it three months ago as a gift" will be a plausible story).
4. You must not be a sniveling wimp. Keeping a straight face despite the initial rejection is key.
5. You must have a plausible story why the software doesnt work. And getting a new copy of the same CDs will be what they suggest first, so your story must get around that. Ideally, your story should be TRUE. Mine was! But I leave that moral dimension to the reader.

In my case, I bought Kingdoms yesterday. When I tried to install it, it said that it couldnt find a pack file during the 1.3 upgrade and failed. I spent 8 hours trying to make it work to no avail. I had the undamaged box, CDs, book, and my trusty receipt. I didnt want to eat $30 for software that didnt work. So I decided to return it.

Step 1: Get to the manager
You dont want to be talking to some clerk. They dont have the power to override the "no-open-box-returns" rule. Dont waste your time. Dont waste their time. Ask for the manager immediately.

Step 2: Tell the manager the story
You need to lay it out in simple terms. Dont start using jargon because the manager often doesnt know crap about it. If they call up an expert from their gaming department, USE JARGON. You have to sound like you know what you are talking about. Lay it out simple and sweet. My exact words below with notes in bold parentheses:

"This is an expansion to a game that I bought from this store several months ago (establishes repeat customer without going overboard). I have no problem running the original game (establishes "not my computer's fault"). In order to install the expansion, the game needs to patch up to a higher version. When it tries to do this, it fails (Not a CD problem, but a game problem. New version of same game wont help me). I spent 8 hours on this using online help on the game forums (I tried to solve this myself, but failed) and other people were having the same problem and couldnt fix it (I am not alone, other people are suffering too). I am not willing to wait for the game company to fix their patch problem so that I can play their game. I want my money back. If I see that they have fixed this problem, I will come back and buy this game again. I really wanted it in the first place! I have been waiting for it! (I AM A GOOD CUSTOMER!).

At this point, the manager said "OK" and gave me my money back.

Your story must establish the following:
1. I am a good customer
2. This is not my fault, or your fault, or the actual CDs fault.
3. I am knowledgable and when I tried to fix this myself; I couldnt.



I hope this helps the people who are at the "hair pulling out" phase.