The Bible and Dirty Sex

[sephodwyrm]

As we should all understand by now (if you actually read the Bible), it is full of dirty sex, sexual connotations, likening cities to some dirty prostitutes and a great variety of sexual innuendos. Something that would drive kids in puberty insane just by reading the bible.

To be honest, the Bible is full of sex. Genesis was full of weird sex. Dirty ones too. Coitus interruptus as punishable by smiting :

Genesis 38:8
Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother." 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also.

Ouch.

Goats were acceptable payment for sex, in addition to a cord

Genesis 38: 15 - 19 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, "Come now, let me sleep with you."
"And what will you give me to sleep with you?" she asked.
17 "I'll send you a young goat from my flock," he said.
"Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?" she asked.
18 He said, "What pledge should I give you?"
"Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand," she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. 19 After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow's clothes again.

Yum.

And oh yeah, sleeping with your own ex-father-in-law and conceiving a son with him is a virtuous deed. A man's duty is to burn prostitutes. And also to be a hypocrite:

Genesis 38: 24-25
24 About three months later Judah was told, "Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant."
Judah said, "Bring her out and have her burned to death!"
25 As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. "I am pregnant by the man who owns these," she said. And she added, "See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are."

Judah, our hero, paid for prostitution with a goat and a cord. And when his own daughter in law was caught for prostitution, he DID NOT HESITATE TO ORDER HER EXECUTION.
Such a virtuous character is worthy of our emulation.
No wonder morality of those professed to be Christians is so bankrupt nowadays.
More to come when I feel like it.
I.e. there's tonnes to follow.

[Chaigidel]

your love of christianity is obvious in your hatred sephod.-- to give so much of ones mind to something is truly an honor to that thing.

[Idwayreth]

your love of christianity is obvious in your hatred sephod.-- to give so much of ones mind to something is truly an honor to that thing.

That's great, still doesn't change the facts he wanted to put out though.

[Dayman]

first one is supposedly the condemnation of :wub:.

[Farnan]

first one is supposedly the condemnation of :wub:.

Only if your goal is to condem :wub:.

To understand that passage you must understand Jewish Law. If a husband died before conceiving his brother would take the widow as his wife. This was a protection for the woman, as it made sure the woman was cared for. Also part of this protection was that the woman's son by the new husband would be considered the original husband's son and would inherit the original husbands land. In this passage Onan is trying to prevent his brother's widow who is his wife now from conceiving so that he can keep his brothers land. That is the sin, not the spilling of the seed.

[boofhead]

Only if your goal is to condem :wub:.

To understand that passage you must understand Jewish Law. If a husband died before conceiving his brother would take the widow as his wife. This was a protection for the woman, as it made sure the woman was cared for. Also part of this protection was that the woman's son by the new husband would be considered the original husband's son and would inherit the original husbands land. In this passage Onan is trying to prevent his brother's widow who is his wife now from conceiving so that he can keep his brothers land. That is the sin, not the spilling of the seed.

Yes. Although it hasn't stopped the word "Onanism" entering the English language as a synonym for ":wub:".

[Blaven]

Uhm, Muhammed plowed a 9 year old, right? And you're criticizing the Bible for perverse sexual episodes?

[MasterAdnin]

Uhm, Muhammed plowed a 9 year old, right? And you're criticizing the Bible for perverse sexual episodes?

Firstly do not bring Islam into this. Whenever a person brings up issues such as this in the Bible the first thing people such as you do is bring in Islam when the person bringing up the issues is not even Muslim. Please, do not be so ignorant. Second, Aisha was Prophet Muhammad's(pbuh) only virgin wife, so what does that tell you Blaven?

Anyway, I knew it was you who brought up this thread Sephodwyrm. Interesting read, but unfortunately I am not educated enough to speak of such matters, though I will research and see what I can do. I do, however, hope a Christian can respond to these quotes.

Salaam bros,
Adnan

[EDIT]-Luftwaffles, please do not be rude.

[boofhead]

I do, however, hope a Christian can respond to these quotes.

Salaam bros,
Adnan

Once again this individual (Seph) exposes his ignorance. The Old Testament is a Jewish book. The New Testament is a Christian book. And Judaism evolves - they don't stone people anymore or do any of that OT stuff. It is also thousands of years old, when times were obviously different.

If he finds a reference to goat-****ing in the New Testament I may have something to say. Otherwise, I'll leave it to our good Jewish TWC friends.

Sephod - why didn't you post the entire of Song of Solomon? Or does it give you too much of a physical reaction to control yourself?

[jankren]

Once again this individual (Seph) exposes his ignorance. The Old Testament is a Jewish book. The New Testament is a Christian book. And Judaism evolves - they don't stone people anymore or do any of that OT stuff. It is also thousands of years old, when times were obviously different.

If the Old Testament is irrelevant to Christianity then why dont Christians throw it away from the Bible? And do average Christian priests agree with your view about the irrelevancy of the Old Testament?

[boofhead]

If the Old Testament is irrelevant to Christianity then why dont Christians throw it away from the Bible?

It is not irrelevant to Christianity. Old Testament prophecies are fulfilled in the New Testament, and the OT/NT provide a comparison of the growth of man from Law-based salvation to Grace-based salvation. The NT can only really be understood in this light. If you want to get nit-picky, you could actually say that for the Christian the OT is one giant example of how not to do things (although the examples of faith, strength etc therein are of course honoured).

[jankren]

Uhm, Muhammed plowed a 9 year old, right? And you're criticizing the Bible for perverse sexual episodes?

What makes you assume that the original poster is a muslim?

[The White Knight]

Uhm, Muhammed plowed a 9 year old, right? And you're criticizing the Bible for perverse sexual episodes?

Wait a minute ... The OP hadn't made a reference to Islam before you posted.

[Marie Louise von Preussen]

Brilliant post, seph. I myself don't have the patience to read and find Biblical faults all the time.

[Chaigidel]

its only a matter of time before every perverse episode from ancient writings is aired on this thread here !

[sephodwyrm]

Uhm, Muhammed plowed a 9 year old, right? And you're criticizing the Bible for perverse sexual episodes?

Uhm, you know that I can't find quotes like this in the Qur'an. The Qur'an deals with killing of infidels more than where you should put your genitals.

[Blaven]

Uhm, you know that I can't find quotes like this in the Qur'an. The Qur'an deals with killing of infidels more than where you should put your genitals.

Wow, much better. And don't the vast majority of Muslims think the Hadiths are just as important as the Qu'ran?

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Firstly do not bring Islam into this. Whenever a person brings up issues such as this in the Bible the first thing people such as you do is bring in Islam when the person bringing up the issues is not even Muslim. Please, do not be so ignorant. Second, Aisha was Prophet Muhammad's(pbuh) only virgin wife, so what does that tell you Blaven?

Seph is a Muslim, is he not? Evidently he has no problem 'exposing' the sexual perversions of relatively insignificant biblical characters (to Christians anyway) to try and make Christianity look bad when the FOUNDER and most important person of his religion would be behind bars in a federal prison for child molestation charges. Again, that bit about glass houses and how people in them shouldn't throw stones.

Aisha could've been a virgin her whole life, the guy who wrote the Qu'ran could've made an error and meant to put a '1' or a '2' in front of that 9, and the guy in the Bible who 'pulled out' maybe could've had a sudden heart attack and died instead of God killing him. The point is: religions say stupid **** sometimes. (I'm not exactly a devout Christian, just so you know).

[pranicmegan]

Uhm, you know that I can't find quotes like this in the Qur'an. The Qur'an deals with killing of infidels more than where you should put your genitals.

Yes of course, and we all know that sex is far far FAR worse than killing people right??!

[Nikephoros II Phokas]

No wonder morality of those professed to be Christians is so bankrupt nowadays

only nowadays?

[Luftwaffels]

Something that would drive kids in puberty insane just by reading the bible.

The OP is speaking from personal experience, I'm sure.