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Thread: I'm getting divorced...

  1. #221
    Thanatos's Avatar Now Is Not the Time
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    Default Re: I'm getting divorced...

    The Cap'n's right, m'lord.

    Some "me" time would definitely be well spent.

    And Cap'n! I didn't know you did archery as well!

  2. #222

    Default Re: I'm getting divorced...

    See, that's the thing Captn. We're working completely as a team on this. We're even going to file with the same lawyer (basically, this is what we want, put it in writing.)

    There is no contentment. There is no animosity. We're in lock step with finding a solution. Whatever we agree to will be in writing and neither of us will be able to make arbitrary changes without the others consent.

    We're still good friends. We just aren't able to make each other happy in the way a married couple should and needs to. That's why I'm no longer freaked out. I was blindsided. But after a month of soul searching and a few therapy sessions I'm seeing that the unhappiness I was blaming on childhood issues was really an unhappiness with my relationship with Paige (as it was, again, she's still a good friend.) I'm just from the ilk that you stay together no matter what (especially when there are kids.) I would still be willing to try to work it out. But, the fact remains. Paige was not making me happy as my wife and I don't know if she ever could.



    What an eye opening experience this has all been.
    Faithfully under the patronage of the fallen yet rather amiable Octavian.

    Smile! The better the energy you put in, the better the energy you will get out.

  3. #223
    Thanatos's Avatar Now Is Not the Time
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    Default Re: I'm getting divorced...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Gruffles View Post
    See, that's the thing Captn. We're working completely as a team on this. We're even going to file with the same lawyer (basically, this is what we want, put it in writing.)

    There is no contentment. There is no animosity. We're in lock step with finding a solution. Whatever we agree to will be in writing and neither of us will be able to make arbitrary changes without the others consent.

    We're still good friends. We just aren't able to make each other happy in the way a married couple should and needs to. That's why I'm no longer freaked out. I was blindsided. But after a month of soul searching and a few therapy sessions I'm seeing that the unhappiness I was blaming on childhood issues was really an unhappiness with my relationship with Paige (as it was, again, she's still a good friend.) I'm just from the ilk that you stay together no matter what (especially when there are kids.) I would still be willing to try to work it out. But, the fact remains. Paige was not making me happy as my wife and I don't know if she ever could.



    What an eye opening experience this has all been.
    All I'll say on this is that you're strong man, Lord Gruffles. A very strong man.

    However, I just don't think that I would have reacted towards your wife the same way if I were you.

    But I guess one must, for the childrens' sake...

  4. #224
    JP226's Avatar Suspended
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    Default Re: I'm getting divorced...

    See, that's the thing Captn. We're working completely as a team on this. We're even going to file with the same lawyer (basically, this is what we want, put it in writing.)

    There is no contentment. There is no animosity. We're in lock step with finding a solution. Whatever we agree to will be in writing and neither of us will be able to make arbitrary changes without the others consent.

    We're still good friends. We just aren't able to make each other happy in the way a married couple should and needs to. That's why I'm no longer freaked out. I was blindsided. But after a month of soul searching and a few therapy sessions I'm seeing that the unhappiness I was blaming on childhood issues was really an unhappiness with my relationship Paige (as it was, again, she's still a good friend.) I'm just from the ilk that you stay together no matter what (especially when there are kids.) I would still be willing to try to work it out. But, the fact remains. Paige was not making me happy as my wife and I don't know if she ever could.



    What an eye opening experience this has all been.
    i know this is hard to believe, but you are lucky. I'm the product of an unhappy marriage. My parents hated each other and the douche my mom married blew her 1.5 million dollar settlement in a year. To this day they won't talk to each other. And now that I have a fiance, I have to figure out how to divide holidays btwn her mother, my mother and my father. And if/ when it isn't compatiable with said parent, they blame the other and I have to listen to the ********. Although my father is much more diplomatic and understands much more so then my mother ever could.

    So, in that sense you are lucky.

    And if or when you get divorced, ultimately, so what. What's the saying, better to love and lost versus never loving at all. It's life. I've had many a rocky relationship and I don't regret them. They've made me feel alive. And when they got me down, I rallied myself and found someone else. It's rough and tough, and as much as I wish it weren't so hard, it's what makes life a beautiful thing.

    I know this is coming from a 24 year old who's got nothing more then a MS in college and is STILL in college. But hey, that's my outlook and I hope it helps you.

  5. #225
    Zephrelial's Avatar Eternal Sorrow
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    Default Re: I'm getting divorced...

    Lord Gruffles,first of all I'm sorry to hear that your marriage had come to an end.I'd like to make a few comments and express my ideas at marriage and divorcements if I may.

    According to me in your case I believe that you are right and your wife is not.The reason is that no matter what happens marriage is a serious commitment and can not be taken lightly.It's a concept that is complicated and for some people sacred from that point of view there is no excuse for your wife's betrayal.

    If she had been honest and courageous,she would have spoken with you before,would explain to you that there is someone else and that she is considering divorcing you because she no longer considers the continuation of the marrige.I emphasize that she should have acted this way BEFORE she ever started relationship with the person that she betrayed you with.In this particular case it's obvious she has wronged you.

    Again I'd like to say that marriage is not a piece of cake.It's supposed to have a meaning and should be based on concepts such as mutual commitment,fidelity,sharing,etc. If one,it doesn't matter whether the person is male or female,wants to have multiple relationships,loves,bf's,gf's,wanna mess around I strongly recommend any person that wishes to live free and the way she/he wants NOT to get married ever... The lack of interest in the bethrothed in due time nor boredom is not an excuse.Then don't get married,it's that simple.

    Also such a person should never bear children to this harsh and ruthless World.For most likely she/he won't care for the kids.As basically all he/she cares is his/her personal enjoyment.A self-centered person shouldn't have kids as kids need attention and love.

    Do not ever try to make amends with her ever,she is the one that is guilty no matter what and doesn't deserve sympathy,as being a grown-up person she made her choice so I'd suggest with all due respect maintain your pride and from now on put a distance between your relationship and pursue it in a professional attitude,just talk about the things that is related with your kids...

    In your situation I'd like to illustrate another delicate point: Your small children,they are indeed very very young,and it's most likely they will be effected negatively from this divorce in time.If they were at least 17-18 believe me there wouldn't be much problem,my parents got divorced when I was 21 or 22 and it had a very little impact on me since I was an adult then not a kid.. But still it had an impact although very small so imagine the impact it will make upon your children whom are infants.

    It seems that you are a sensitive and caring person since you are thinking about the children and obviously you possess the qualities of being a good father.

    Well,I guess that's all I'd like to say.I hope you aren't offended by any of my comments,I meant no offense,if I have; I shall ask for your forgiveness.Once again sorry to hear this but this is normal as we are human beings and this is life... Wish you the best of luck Lord...
    Shine on you crazy diamond...

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