Disciplining Children

[NaptownKnight]

What do you guys think about disciplining children? Should you yell and use harsh words, or use physical abuse? I grew up and got whoopings when I did wrong but my parents are very old school when it comes to these things. I think physical action must be taken in certain circumstances so a child understands how wrong he or she is.

[removeduser_487563287433]

I don't know. I don't have children. My mum hit me a couple of times but I seem to remember it was only when I had hurt my little brother.

[Chaigidel]

cesar milan can tell you how to raise children just treat them like he treats dogs.---physical action is not necessary it only agitates the situation but firm rules of order and respect are an absolute, when you cross out of those lines you must be made to understand where they exist again--- plus pack training helps.---watch the dog whisperer:O

[Noble Savage]

I don't smack my three children as I'm lucky enough that they respond to an authoritive voice. But I think smacking a childs bum (lightly) not with anger but with a strong voice is ok. Only do it to mildly shock not to cause pain.

[Enemy of the State]

I never got hit, spanked or whatever and look how normal i turned out to be. I only get the urge to murder someone every second day


No, i dont really support physical punishment. Hopefully, i wont ever have to punish my children like that. I have a very low voice, so maybe that will scare them a bit and they will stop whatever they are doing

[The Good]

The Bible states that he who spares the rod (the rod is some kind of physical harm punishment), hates his child, but he who does use the rod (punishment) loves his child.

To make things clear, we SHOULD discipline our children, not just let them get away with it.

[Valentin the II]

The Bible states that he who spares the rod (the rod is some kind of physical harm punishment), hates his child, but he who does use the rod (punishment) loves his child.

This just shows how ignorant and barbaric were the people that wrote the bible.
You should diceplin your children, but no beatings, this just creates more problems later on.
Besides, you dont want your children fearing you more then death itself do you?

[David Deas]

This just shows how ignorant and barbaric were the people that wrote the bible.
You should diceplin your children, but no beatings, this just creates more problems later on.
Besides, you dont want your children fearing you more then death itself do you?

No. But its a pretty good demonstration of the depths of ignorance of a typical lay Christian. "Spare the rod" is a reference to the rod that shepherds of that day typically used to herd their sheep and keep them in line. The passage isn't some brutal reference to punishment. Whoever thinks the Bible would advocate literally beating your child over the head with a rod is just displaying stupidity.

[NaptownKnight]

I was beat pretty badly a few times, but only when I did something very bad (like breaking this huge stained glass window). I have heard some pretty bad stories from my friends, about switches and belts.

[Denny Crane!]

I wrote in another forum:

Of course not. Just like I wouldn't advocate beating any adult but it can be an effective symbolic action to a child, more of a shock to them then actually desiring to cause them physical pain.

A child is screaming in the aisle of a supermarket. He is four years old. His mother, laden with groceries at the end of a long day at work, is struggling to get to the check-out before the shop closes.

She has tried reason. She has used all the 'positive alternatives' recommended in self-help books. She doesn't want to give the boy the chocolate he is demanding. She has offered blandishments and threatened 'removal of privileges' as the childcare manuals suggest.

The boy carries on screaming, louder and louder. He is throwing food around. As his mother starts to queue, the boy makes a bolt for the door and out into the busy street. His mother dashes out and grabs him just before he steps into the road. 'Don't you ever do that again,' she shouts, delivering a smack, sharp and stinging, across the back of the legs. The child whimpers. And finally stops crying.

Dr Christopher Green believes that 'smacking has its main usefulness in the younger child'. At this age, words are less effective than some decisive action. You can debate all day with a defiant two-year-old … but the chances are that words may miss the mark, while a gentle gesture of a smack may land centre bulls-eye, right on the target.' What are the pros, then, of smacking? Green says:

A smack, used appropriately, will set limits and let the child know who is in charge.
Used at the right time, a smack can stop the escalation of tension and bad behaviour.
When a parent's authority is being tested, and all else has failed, a smack can bring a resolution to a situation in minutes, rather than hours.
Smacking can act as a good deterrent to danger, especially in life-threatening situations. It tells your child that their actions shouldn't be repeated.
Working as I do with dogs I find many comparisons between a dogs mentality and a childs at certain ages. Reason very often works, violence on the whole rarely but used in rare exceptional circumstances can help define circumstances to something incapable of reason.

As for the analogy to other domestic violence, well thats about as true as me smoking cannabis leading to me being a heroin addict. Now where is that fix?

Peter

[Denny Crane!]

How do you spell reductio ad absurdum?

[Noble Savage]

How do you spell reductio ad absurdum?

I was going to say that but not as witty I concede

[enoch]

Kids who don't get smacked at least a little, not hit but smacked, end up wrong even when they are right.

[Ulyaoth]

I was spanked and smacked every once in a while as a kid, it made me a better person. My parents raised me right, with discipline and threats, the old school way. I really believe most of these problems with kids nowadays, pulling all the **** they do, feeling entitled and deserving of everything they want and usually getting it from their pissant pansy little spoiling parents, is all because no one disciplines their damn kids anymore. Book parents shouldn't be allowed to breed or say anything to other people on the subject of kids.

[Vanquisher]

I was smacked pretty damn hard for even the smallest of things, most of the time with a slipper, sometimes with whatever was at hand. I'm actually thankful of it but i will spare my children from the same fate lol, i'm sure they will not need the same treatment as I.

[Niccolo Machiavelli]

I was slapped a few times, but i deserved it - and it was the most efficient way to make me stop in certain situations.

However, one method widely used in my family is to just abruptly fall silent and send over an ice-cold killing-glance - I still shiver if I remember that one.

I recently tried it on my niece who misbehaved and couldn't be convinced to stop with arguments - worked like flipping a switch - incredible child-stopping power .

[Lord Bohemond]

I got smacked pretty bad... but I turned out alright.

[LoZz]

i love how any debate about child discipline anywhere always turns into a spanking/smacking debate


just for clarity, in the uk we refer to spanking as smacking.


i was spanked from about 4-11, and only when i did some realy bad (dangerious to me or others) i can count how many times i got an actual "spanking" on 1 hand. i got single swats/smacks if i was not doing as i was told or being disrespectful, i lost count of those after the age of 7

of course as a kid i hated it, but now i think it was right and justifyed, i think it helped me learn, and if i ever had kids, i will do the same, regardless of what the law or some parenting guru says

[Tom Paine]

I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference. I never got hit - well, except in a joking way, when I tended to hit back. I experienced this method working and - while I talk back still - I do what I'm asked to. Now, this demonstrates that, in the end, its down to the parent - the nature of the punishment is irrelevant, its all in the delivery, reasons, and whether they act as though its right.

[wilpuri]

I think kids need a slapping from time to time. Keeps 'em alert.