Tall an' handsome

For a while now members have been asking me what I have been doing in real life and after some careful consideration I have decided to shine a light on that illustrious and elusive part of mine.

The long job road

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but no matter how I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!