View RSS Feed

Tall an' handsome

Perks of passing 50

Rating: 8 votes, 5.00 average.
It's been a while since I passed the magic five-zero and in looking back I could not help but list the advantages that have opened up to folks like me:

  • In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • No one expects you to run - anywhere.
  • People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  • There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  • Things you buy now will not wear out.
  • You can eat supper at 4 PM.
  • You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
  • You get into intense arguments about pension plans.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
  • You sing along with elevator music.
  • Your eyes will not get much worse.
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they cannot remember them either.
  • Your supply of brain-cells is finally down to manageable size.
  • You cannot remember who sent you this list
  • And you notice these are all in Big Print for our convenience.

Reminder to self: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
Life on TWC


  1. Flinn's Avatar
    pure genius
  2. Macrath's Avatar