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Flinn

The Dudes thoughts: when you are not deciding for "just yourself" anymore

Rating: 2 votes, 4.00 average.
Having to take responsibilities for yourself is quite a common thing, isn't it? I mean, basically is the fundamental step between childhood and adulthood.. while we could discuss how much that seems not to be the case today, as a lot of people seem to have issues to take responsibility even for themselves, life usually goes way past that, and puts you in the condition to having to decide (and take the responsibilities of the consequences of those choices) for others too...

That can happen on many levels, because of your profession, of the fact that you have become a parent, of circumstances, and so on and on. It is never, let me say it again, never, easy to decide for someone else or to decide for yourself while taking in consideration that that decision, which is really only about yourself, will impact on others as well.

On the recent years I've seen that happening many times, both as a parent and as a public admin, and though they are different things, there's something they have in common which always makes me question the quality of my judgement.. but let's go by steps.

First, as a parent, even though you don't realize that in the beginning, you are called to do all that you can to preserve yourself as long as possible, because you have your kids depending on you, and that of course impacts a lot what you should or shouldn't be doing.. sure, one doesn't really have to overhaul their life (and many don't, they really don't give a crap about responsibilities), but in any case IF you do so, even if you won't stick to that completely (I did not quit drinking for instance, even though I do manage to drink responsibly, as the ADs like to say) you'll stop doing most of the stupidest things and avoid putting yourself in danger. Anyways, no matter how you try hard, things won't go exactly as you envisioned them, because life is a villain and your kids have their minds and their lives, after all..

As a public admin there's a lot of decisions you take, and if you are honest in your duty, you'll be taking them in what is supposed to be the best interest of the community, or of course of what you believe that is the best on that specific case.. but again, no matter how hard you will try, things won't go exactly as you imagined them and you can bet your bum that many (if not most) of the people won't agree with you, even when your decision clearly goes in their favor...

I won't bother you with why kids will invariably end up surprising you, or why people are morons most of the time, what I wanted to focus on was the fact that life is a , and even though you plan and think and imagine, you'll never, ever, be able to have it go exactly your way.. for this very reason, since deciding is the only power that we practically have, decisions have to be taken keeping this in mind. I've seen too many people stressing themselves up to the point that some even destroyed themselves, because they couldn't cope with being unable to have the things go as they wanted.. now, that happens as well when you decide just for yourself, but when it's only about you, there's always something you can do, the same is not true when other people is involved, and this is when most of the people go crazy...

This is where my dudeist soul emerges: since you can't really make it go your way, then gamble.. most of the times, the best you can do is start with the idea of what the best decision is, then just let it live its life and move on... a decision is only really taken once you let it go and only wait for the consequences of it to come back to you, all that you have to do is to be ready to accept the responsibility of it, just like when you throw a coin, whatever it will be it will be, it's not the fault of the hand that threw it..

Updated February 25, 2022 at 07:06 AM by Flinn

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  1. TurkafinwŰ's Avatar
    Life is like a wild river raft ride. You can fight against the current and drown or go with the flow and steer the current where you can and see where you end up. Sometimes you'll get wet and cling on for dear life and sometimes you'll find that perfect line. Life's not a 100% success story, fialure and disappointment is part of the course. Chances won and most lost. Best we can do is enjoy the ride while it lasts!

    As my favourite character from the Wheel of Time, Mat Cauthon, would say: It's time to toss the dice!
  2. Flinn's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by TurkafinwŰ
    Life is like a wild river raft ride. You can fight against the current and drown or go with the flow and steer the current where you can and see where you end up. Sometimes you'll get wet and cling on for dear life and sometimes you'll find that perfect line. Life's not a 100% success story, fialure and disappointment is part of the course. Chances won and most lost. Best we can do is enjoy the ride while it lasts!

    As my favourite character from the Wheel of Time, Mat Cauthon, would say: It's time to toss the dice!
    Alea Iacta Est..

    There's one big lesson in general, that everybody needs to learn: the only certain thing in life, is death.. the rest is just chances.
    Updated March 01, 2022 at 04:10 AM by Flinn