The Dude's thoughts - The hard job of being a father
by
, January 15, 2021 at 07:28 AM (2394 Views)
Most of you know by now that I have a daughter.. I have to be honest, though every parent considers their kids as special, I've been lucky with her: she got her mother's body, my character, but, most important, my father's intelligence (he was something in between an highly respected doctor and a scientist, with over 100 scientific publications).
However, having a very smart kid both has positive and negative perks, of course. From one side she is very quick to learn and you don't need to repeat stuff to her over and over, on the other side you have to be very careful of what you say or do when you are around her...
In the past years I had harsh moments with my partner, and even today, despite things being much better, we still have some bad days.. you know you are doing bad when your 6 years old daughter scolds you and you have to admit that she's right. Believe me, if you really look forward to grow up and mature, have kids.
She's not perfect of course, no one is: with intelligence usually comes laziness, this because when you are always good at something, you tend to get bored at it or anyways to not to feel compelled at improving.. this is probably the hardest part of teaching her, since she often tends to overplay with me and then makes silly mistakes, which is then hard to correct. Smart people are usually sensitive, and while the try, rinse and repeat process is essential for learning and growing, correcting them is always a tricky job, and should be always be threaded carefully. I found out that gently explaining her where's the mistake and what to do to improve works fine.. but of course she's a smart little cutie, if she really wants to cut it short and pretend that she's right, I'm defenseless
Among the positive perks there's the fact that when she realizes that I'm trying to teach her something which is beyond her comprehension in that given moment, she simply makes me notice this.. erm I know, that looks creepy actually What I mean is that, for instance, if I'm watching a scientific documentary about the ISS (the space station I mean) and I try to explain her why it stays up there and doesn't fall on Earth, she looks at me in a funny way and says that she is too young to understand and that she has to learn other things before.. I told you, if you want to grow fast, have kids.
Similarly, she is smart enough to have already learnt that there's a huge difference between "formal" and "informal".. I'll put it simple: I can be the finest gentleman when needed, you see me in suit and tie and think that I was born wearing them, and at the same time I can be the most brutal barbarian when I'm in a casual environment, trust me in this! As I said my daughter is smart enough to distinguish between the two situations, and so far she has prevented me from shaming myself in various occasions.. .
Another hard thing to do is to actually decide what to teach her and in what order.. I mean, when I was a kid, the procedure was clear and codified and you knew what the school and their parents were going to teach you, but nowadays things move so fast that it actually doesn't make sense to follow the same pattern: for instance a lot of people is concerned to give tablets/phones to kids, while I'm not.. that's the technology they are going to use in the future, heck it's already a contemporary technology, it does not make sense to me to prevent them to use it, with moderation. It would be like the same as if my old grandmother wouldn't teach my mother to use a thimble, because she could swallow it..
If anything, they might be teaching you something in return.. at least one per week I do something stupid with her tablet and when she then shows me how to properly do that thing, she usually shots a very shocked "Daddy!"
Didn't I tell you already that if you want to grow and mature you have to have some kids? Well if I didn't, I'll tell you now:
If you want to grow fast and become mature, have kids.