Aik's Corner

A busy week is heading towards its end. And what a week it was. In the Den [Administrative notification: due to an imminent break of SND only none-staff can read from here. To make sure this will never get out, this message is now magically encrypted in a way that while none-staff members can read the plain text, all staff members can read is a copy&paste from Cicero's de finibus malorum et bonorum.] all hell broke loose when Garb announced that he will prepare a special Good Friday dinner for all Moderators.

In order to understand the severe implications of his generous invitation you need to know that there's only one kitchen in the Den - for the entire team. You also need to know that while Garb's cooking magic is legendary, the words "I'll make you a dinner." is the Den's equivalent to DEFCON 2, the nearly maximal credible accident for ever hungry Moderators (and Moderators are always hungry - trust me), it's like opening the door to a fully occupied main lecture hall, crying: "Free food outside!" and then locking the door from outside: it is hell.

The kitchen will be occupied by Garb for days and while his cooking is worth the wait, we other Moderators, we few, we hungry few, we band of brothers have to starve for several days or live on half rations of c-rations branded "Crandar's Age" that are left to rot someplace that must not be named since days only few remember.

While that's nowhere near a credible description of how much terror and anticipation such an announcement usually triggers at the same time, I think you'll get the picture.

I was so terrified and deluded by the sheer thought about even the smell of Garb's wonders in the making, that I nearly lost it. I stood in a corner for hours, shivering from tip to toe muttering things I cannot remember.

Dante was running around the Den, desperately on the lookout for exposure while chanting a song about some Welsh place only he knows about in his crystal singing voice.

Ybbon was extraordinary cool, although we later suspected that he was simply pretending - the new server access and all the techieness leveled his coolness factor by a couple of digits, but we know he would kill for Garb's food (we're still looking for the Den's mascot calf ... come to think of it, Garb did serve us cordon bleu a few weeks ago).

IR and GR where not seen or heard for at least two days, then we found them sitting in a corner with their heads leaning to the wall writing crazy stuff about delicious, delicious things which I cannot post in public for the sake of your mental health.

Finlander seemed mostly relaxed, he was tasked with organizing the beer, not for the dinner, but to calm us down and get us over the days of half-starvation and the c-rations of cause. However, we later found out that he drank half of it before he even delivered. Come to think of it, that explains his relaxed smiles.

And then, there was friend Chris. Friend Chris was all over the place, making sure nobody was hurting themselves, even though he got hurt in that process, he did a marvelous job saving me from muttering too loud which would have caused Dante finding the exposition, Ybbon loosing his coolness, IR and GR starting to try to eat what they wrote on the wall and Fin from drinking the cans too.

All the while Tibs came back from the D&D, looked around and noticed what was going on instantly. He tried to make it to the HEXPhone to call for R&R but was stopped just a foot short of it by the incredible smell which escaped the kitchen door - he fell to the floor rolling over it laughing while tears of happy anticipation fell from his eyes.

lolI and SturmChurro where busy in the forums outside the Den doing things that must not be named. When they got back to the sanctuary and passed the hidden door, they instantly turned into sniffing statues inhaling the delicious smells that already subdued Tibs.

Max was lucky, he escaped to Emeritus status just before Garb announced the invitation. You need to know that Moderator Emeritus status comes with complete immunity to all sorts of Den terror and panic attacks - it's basically the Moderator's bad ass seal of approval.

It was Max who made sure that Påsan, Robin, Tango and AP's ModPhones received the "Garb's preparing a meal!" alert template which comes with a 1 week interdiction: Moderators are not allowed to enter the Den for one week for their own safety and well-being. Failure in compliance to this interdiction results in loosing all Moderator Insurances for a period of three months plus a §15 infraction by HEX.

Suddenly, just an hour ago, Garb unexpectedly left the kitchen a day early, glanced around and smiled: "Easter's rising." he said and went down to the Den's wine cellar.

- Happy Easter TWC -

PS: what about Ron, you say? Ron is MIA since Garb's New Years Breakfast Club. We've never seen him since :sadangel: