The Quest for the Perfect Stick
by
, April 19, 2019 at 12:13 AM (6026 Views)
Hello to the hoo-mans on TWC. My name is Colt, and the silly hoo-man you know as GED is my servant. He prepares my food, washes and brushes my coat, fills my water bowl, and does anything else I need him to do. In return I make sure he gets out and gets his exercise, and keep him warm at night.
Here is my picture so you can bask in my magnificence.
As servants go, GED is a decent one. Though I wish he would learn to speak canine instead of that mush that sounds like pigs in a feeding frenzy when he opens his mouth. All you hoo-mans should learn a civilized canine language. Why, sometimes when I tell him one thing he thinks it means something else. Sometimes I say "Woof! Let's go outside so you can throw the ball!" But sometimes that fool thinks its time for a treat. Other times I say "Woof! Let's have some treats!" and he thinks the water bowl is empty. Hoo-mans just cannot hear the different inflections in a canine voice I guess. They have terrible ears.
And sometimes he sits in that office of his poking his fingers at that thing on his desk. Clickety-clack clickety-clack all day long! It gets annoying! I have no idea how he can sit there for so long doing nothing when we should be out having fun. We should be out hitting golf balls in the field, or chasing rabbits, or even just laying on the grass in the sun. Instead he always wants to sit at that desk. Clickety-clack clickety-clack! Sometimes I have to yell at him to get him out of that office.
One of my favorite things to do is to go run through the woods and the creek and grab sticks so that GED can have a nice toy. He needs better toys than that thing on his desk. I have been trying to teach that mutt Logan how to find nice sticks we can give to GED to put some more fun in his life. He is still half a puppy, and the hoo-mans are always going ga-ga over his blue eyes, but sometimes I don't think his ears are any better than a hoo-mans ears. He doesn't listen very well. Here he is looking at the camera when I am trying to explain to him how to get this stick from under this tree.
"Woof! Listen up Logan! Attend me carefully!"
After a lot of work, and a lot of coaching for Logan, we finally got two nice sticks out from under that tree. Let's lay down in the cool snow and test these out before we present them to GED as his new toys. If we are lucky we can surprise him by leaving them in his bed tonight! He always likes those kinds of surprises! He especially likes to find golf balls in his shoes!
Okay Logan. Now you have gone too far. Are you sure you are not a feline? How embarrassing! Just because this is probably the last snow we are going to see this year doesn't mean you have to act like a fool.
Hey what's this? This might be interesting. I don't think that fool Logan has ever found a stick this nice. I better look around for him before I grab this!
Is he to the right? Nope!
Is he to the left? Nope!
I have it! The perfect stick! Now I just have to go find GED and make sure he plays with it. This is going to be the most fun we have ever had! When he sees me I will refuse to give it to him at first. I know he likes to play keep away even though he pretends he doesn't. Finally I will let him have it so he can throw it. Then I will bring it back to him so he can throw it again. I have him well trained!