Upcoming Cleopatra film, who should play her dad: Zach Galifianakis or John Stamos?

[Roma_Victrix]

So, it has recently come to light that Lady Gaga might challenge Angelina Jolie for the role of Cleopatra VII Philopator in Denis Villeneuve's upcoming biopic film on the legendary Ptolemaic queen of Egypt. Personally I'd go with Gaga since she's got that big Mediterranean schnoz going on, an aquiline nose similar to Cleopatra's in her coinage portraits (and Roman artworks), and she's also got that witty, quirky charm that I think Angelina simply lacks, but that's just me! What I want to know is this: who should play her inbred Greek dad, Ptolemy XII Auletes?

Barring an actor from Greece itself, I think it boils down to the most prominent Greek American male actors of our day:
John Stamos or Zach Galifianakis.

YOU DECIDE!

Cast your vote and let Villeneuve and indeed the whole world know your preferred choice for this most epic role of Auletes, "the Flute-Player".
Sounds like a guy who's going to kick your ass, alright! A stallion like Stamos! Or just a wine-drunken sod with a big belly like Zach, who would also be perfect for Silenus, the fat fun bearded wine god who followed Dionysus around.



Cleo's dad Ptolemy XII Auletes:

[Morticia Iunia Bruti]

Tim Curry as he had played excellent various roles before. The two others look boring.

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Curry

[Roma_Victrix]

Tim Curry would put me on the floor in fits of laughter if he were actually cast as Ptolemy XII Auletes.

He would definitely bring that Cardinal Richelieu quality to the character.




In the words of his character from the film: "THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!"

[sumskilz]

Personally I'd go with Gaga since she's got that big Mediterranean schnoz going on

Lady Gaga's nose looks kind of normal to me... for some reason.

Tim Curry as he had played excellent various roles before. The two others look boring.

They've already lost Northern Macedonia, and now this? Talk about adding insult to injury.

[Morticia Iunia Bruti]

I love the morbid, decadent charm of his roles. As Auletes was described as absolute decadent, it would fit.

[Roma_Victrix]

Lady Gaga's nose looks kind of normal to me... for some reason.

Probably an Israeli Jewish reason, I'd imagine.

Gaga is Italian American, so close enough to a Greek. Well, the Archaic Greeks colonized the southern half of Italy long before the Republican-era Romans conquered Greece, so their genetic, cultural, and political histories are intertwined to such a point that not even Mussolini's crap failed invasion of Greece could sour things between the two nowadays.

They've already lost Northern Macedonia, and now this? Talk about adding insult to injury.

It'll be devastating. Greece might even leave NATO because of it, this slap in the face.

[alhoon]

What I want to know is this: who should play her inbred Greek dad, Ptolemy XII Auletes?

The same actress that plays Cleopatra, in male regalia and a touch of make-up and computer graphics of course! After 12 generations of mostly inbreeding (or completely inbreeding) they would be discernable only by beard.

Lady Gaga for Ptolemy XII!

[mishkin]

Denzel. Great actor.

[Roma_Victrix]

The same actress that plays Cleopatra, in male regalia and a touch of make-up and computer graphics of course! After 12 generations of mostly inbreeding (or completely inbreeding) they would be discernable only by beard.

Lady Gaga for Ptolemy XII!

Why stop there?

It should be like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor or Norbit where he plays everybody, so Lady Gaga should also be Caesar AND Antony.

EDIT: Holy crap, someone at Reddit just suggested he would only support Galifianakis if Danny DeVito played Pompey the Great.

[Halie Satanus]

Conleth Hill.

Irish actors can play any ethnicity.

[Roma_Victrix]

Conleth Hill.

Irish actors can play any ethnicity.

Yeah, but since he plays the eunuch Varys on Game of Thrones, he should play the crafty eunuch Potheinos at the courts of Ptolemy XII and XIII.

[Sar1n]

I think we all know the real answer...

[Roma_Victrix]

I think we all know the real answer...

You gotta do it right, though:

https://i.imgflip.com/2reuo0.jpg


If Zach Galifianakis plays Ptolemy XII and Danny DeVito plays Pompey, then Steve Buscemi should play Julius Caesar.

https://i.imgflip.com/2reuuc.jpg

[Morifea]

nah, since there have to be some juice scenes with carnal intercourse I want a very hot actress as Cleopatra.... don`t care if the Nose fits or not

[sumskilz]

Probably an Israeli Jewish reason, I'd imagine.

Gaga is Italian American, so close enough to a Greek. Well, the Archaic Greeks colonized the southern half of Italy long before the Republican-era Romans conquered Greece, so their genetic, cultural, and political histories are intertwined to such a point that not even Mussolini's crap failed invasion of Greece could sour things between the two nowadays.

Heh...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Lady Gaga is also Québécoise though, but I guess you're right, she looks Northern Macedonian enough.

You all remind me, there is a really average looking Israeli woman who won a bunch of beauty pageants in Germany, was almost Miss Germany or something, according to the Israeli media...

Exhibit A:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Now I'm not saying she looks bad, just that you couldn't pick her out of crowd in Tel Aviv. So I thought hmm... that's weird, maybe she's got some exotic appeal in Germany or something, but now that I hear Morifea's Teutonic rejection of big-nosed women, I realize it was just a guilt vote.

[Morifea]

Seems like I have to visit Israel.... Without my girlfriend of course

[Morticia Iunia Bruti]

I thinks its their beautiful dark eyes...

[Roma_Victrix]

nah, since there have to be some juice scenes with carnal intercourse I want a very hot actress as Cleopatra.... don`t care if the Nose fits or not

We're not talking about Lady Gaga as Cleo, though, we're talking about Ptolemy XII, unless of course you want a hot and spicy woman to play Ptolemy XII Auletes. Or a guy who is unreasonably and exceedingly flamboyant, like Rip Taylor.

Heh...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Nice. I never saw that episode, but now I have to!

Lady Gaga is also Québécoise though, but I guess you're right, she looks Northern Macedonian enough.

I don't think the Greeks would stage a riot about Gaga. I'm sure they would pick someone else besides John Stamos to be Ptolemy XII Auletes, because I don't think he has any name recognition in Greece. Speaking of which, poor Stamos! Nobody has voted for him yet! Womp, womp.

You all remind me, there is a really average looking Israeli woman who won a bunch of beauty pageants in Germany, was almost Miss Germany or something, according to the Israeli media...

Exhibit A:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Now I'm not saying she looks bad, just that you couldn't pick her out of crowd in Tel Aviv. So I thought hmm... that's weird, maybe she's got some exotic appeal in Germany or something, but now that I hear Morifea's Teutonic rejection of big-nosed women, I realize it was just a guilt vote.

They're guilty as charged!

Although Morifea now wants to go sightseeing in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv without his girlfriend, so make of that what you will.

[athanaric]

No love for Hank Azaria?

You all remind me, there is a really average looking Israeli woman who won a bunch of beauty pageants in Germany, was almost Miss Germany or something, according to the Israeli media...

Exhibit A:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Now I'm not saying she looks bad, just that you couldn't pick her out of crowd in Tel Aviv. So I thought hmm... that's weird, maybe she's got some exotic appeal in Germany or something, but now that I hear Morifea's Teutonic rejection of big-nosed women, I realize it was just a guilt vote.

She might be too pretty for Cleopatra though (although that's a frontal pic, maybe she looks more like the real deal in profile?).

[Roma_Victrix]

No love for Hank Azaria?

Funny considering how he played a pharaoh in Night at the Museum. He's a Sephardic Jew with obvious roots in medieval Spain, although both sets of his paternal and maternal grandparents did come from Thessaloniki, Greece. Comparing his face to the bust of Ptolemy XII Auletes, I could definitely see it! He's also delightful as an actor. He might make Ptolemy XII Auletes more appealing and likable than he should be.