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Thread: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

  1. #1
    Lusitanio's Avatar Semisalis
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    Default What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    Just for fun or because deep inside you're an evil person, what were the most messed up things that you did on a campaign?

    One of the things I remember doing sometimes, was something that I called "rebel bio warfare". That is, send a somewhat large stack to a nearby faction that you want to keep busy and wait for your stack to rebel, that way, you will be causing troubles to that faction and they will be pretty busy with the rebel stack instead of atttacking you.

    Another small bad thing was probably conquering the Celtiberi that were my vassals, just because I wanted to finish the campaign requirements. However, I bet that almost every player did something like this :p

  2. #2

    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    I play mainly as AS, and nothing gives me more joy then killing off their faction leaders either by assassins or in battle until they end up with a dumb, crappy old man as their faction leader over and over again.

  3. #3
    Senator
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    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    Well, enslaving all of Europe was probably not the best example of high moral character...

  4. #4

    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    Back in EB1 I was playing a Hayasdan campaign on my laptop. I had just conquered Halicarnassus when my cat walked across the keyboard and hit “enslave”.

    To this day I still think of her a Sophie, the Tyrant of Halicarnassus.

  5. #5
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    As the Romani faction, SPQR, without warning by any diplomat, I suddenly declared war and besieged three Hayasdan cities all at once, blockaded two of their ports, sent spies and assassins to other towns, and used a field army to massacre and enslave any reinforcements they tried to send to any of the cities I kept under siege for almost two years just to whittle down their garrisons so that they couldn't put up a proper resistance. I did this right after they reached a crescendo of expansion by taking Persepolis from the Sabaeans, right as they should have been celebrating their glorious conquest and unification of Persia under one power. Then all of the sudden I just godsmacked the hell out of them in Anatolia and the eastern Black Sea/Caucasus, forcing them to reroute their major armies from northeast Arabia to deal with a totally different threat. One, I might add, that is right next to their old capital at Armavir, probably wrecking their local economy there.

    Was that a dick move?


  6. #6
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    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    Just good politics.

  7. #7

    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    Too many of the things I do on the campaign map are "messed up." My pahlava campaign has so many slaves after my cruel treatment of the Baktrians. Speaking of which, I sacked their capital, and destroyed all of their buildings I could only to give it back to them and demand more of their land, to which they complied. I used this time to recuperate and retrain my royal army. Oh, I also allied with two factions of whom I knew were going to war with eachother (takashila and Seleucia) so I could have a reasonable excuse to join the Seleucids side.

    Nothing completely terrible I suppose, at least by total war standards.

  8. #8
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    Oh, that is a dick move! I love it! Scorched earth policy, destroy all buildings in a captured settlement that you don't even intend to keep, although I usually just let it rebel if that's the case (and I rarely pull this move in the first place, since I would rather expand than create a wasteland). The fact that you forced them to hand over other territories is kinda funny, though. Gotta love that force diplomacy script!

  9. #9

    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    The Sweboz assassinated one of my FMs, so I went on a penal expedition. I was playing as Carthage and I had full control over the western Mediterranean by that time. I did not want to take any cities, but I killed everyone I could see and I incited half a dozen revolts.
    I recommend a pugio rather than a spear, because in close quarters combat, a dagger will serve you better than a spear.

    Rad, 2016.

  10. #10

    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    I too once took an enemy city across the water only the see huge stacks coming my way. As I could not defend myself, I took down every building I could and sailed away with the spoils. Friendly co-enthusiasts here on the forum explained to me that is an exploit and that the AI might not be able to recover from it properly, so I did not do it again.

  11. #11

    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    One of said co-enthusiasts also said that dismantling the local Temple might be alright.

    Anyways...

    Two decades into the reign of Antigonos Gonatas, I suffered two setbacks that would combine to be quite serious. First, an army I sent to claim the Hellespont as revenge against Attalid aggression was defeated. This was not so terrible, my intent was to increase the experience of my Chalkaspides, and I had a solid economic base that are fairly garrisoned. The second cut would prove much deeper, plague had broken out in Pella. It was not an absolute disaster, I could still replenish my Chalkaspides in Thessaly and Ionia, but my Agema was now infected with the plague or unable to replenish itself...unless they also get infected by the plague. There was also the possibility Epeiros could strike from the west now that the my finest soldiery were weakened and unable to replenish.

    Fearful of losing all he had gained, Gonatas made a desperate choice: he would spread the plague throughout the lands of his enemies. I had managed to spread the plague through the Ambrakia and Epidamnos as well as Nikaea and Byzantion. Pergamon itself caught my agents and executed them, they had the city locked tight. I wasn't able to catch their armies, but I believe I killed the last of Pyrrhos' sons through this plague.

    But you could argue that was a choice of necessity. I have done similar actions if not worse out of spite.

    Around 300 turn into my Hayastan playthrough, I sought to turn Armavir into the first Huge City of the game world, to express my grandeur as the King of Kings. I believe the West was in no state to beat me to it, Hellas was too divided and the Republics had too great military obligations. Bactria was devastated by war and Taksashila was bankrupt. But there was one city, one I never would have suspected, hiding in a corner of the world that had probably reached the prerequisite size a long time ago. The seat of the Sabai kings, Maryab.

    The Sabai had been irritants for some time now, going to war with the Seleukides but sending all their actual military strength against me. So I wasn't too pleased to find out they had beaten me in this prestige competition. Out of sheer spite, I decided to dispatch agents from Zadrakarta to spread the plague from there to Maryab. Seeing a -10% household loss per turn, I must have killed tens of thousands of their people. Whether I had taken any members of their royal family as well, I do not know.

    One last tale of pride-related spite leading to mass murder. This time playing as the Boioi in v2.3. In this timeline, the Romans had far more to fear than a single botched sacking. I had lost out on fulfilling the victory conditions and so "lost" despite being the greatest power at the time. To rub salt in the wound, it was Koinon Hellenon that beat me to it, a faction I dislike as I consider the Classical Poleis to be the most overrated military in history. Also they attacked me because they want Thraike for some reason. So I reloaded, rampaged through their lands, and resurrected the Aiakid and Antigonid lines to keep Hellas nice and divided. But this isn't the atrocity I had in mind. On the contrary, the star of this tale was actually in the East.

    Taksashila had grown very powerful, absorbing Baktria and the easternmost of the Upper Satrapies. I had gotten a notification that they were close to fulfilling their victory conditions. I wasn't in a mood to send an army all the way from Thraike (or maybe Galatia) to India, so I had to rely on espionage. I had infested the Indian empire with spies all the way from Margiane to Trinakarta, and I had done this in one large wave, so they had no time to respond. Absolute chaos reigned, and half their empire revolted against them. I believe Taksashila never managed to recover their former power as several of the rebel provinces were taken by their enemies, and I never had the victory stolen from me again. Maybe one of the Iberian powers came close, but they inevitably made the mistake of attacking my assets in Gaul. When one considers that "citizens" in this game are actually households, this is another case of tens of thousands dead. All over a line on a window I spend perhaps 3% of my time on this game looking at...for dating purposes.

  12. #12
    NosPortatArma's Avatar Biarchus
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    Default Re: What were the most messed up things you did on a campaign?

    As Epiros, conquer rome, rename it to Aiakideia, and colonise it.

    Take that, romaioi barbaroi, the tables have turned!
    Make Sweden Lagom Again!

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