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Thread: White Stone, Black Stone

  1. #21

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Quote Originally Posted by waveman
    I gripped my bow tightly as we approached the crest of the hill….
    ...and? ...and? Come on, such a beautiful and intriguing description of them advancing and then a cliff hanger - you're cruel! Can't wait to read the next update!

  2. #22
    Darkan's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Good update, looking forward to the inevitable clash.
    Take your time with RL and good luck with moving, something that is never easy. We'll be here!

    A couple of points I would like to make: 1. If you could update the OP with links to each chapter it would be great, as I people will find them faster.
    • BB Code List, you'll want to go further down to Post Linking.
    • 2. If you have the time and will, maybe you could add a glossary to the same OP, as there are many terms that might not be familiar for some of us.


    Keep up the great work! +rep
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  3. #23
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Chapter 4: An End to Youth

    Characters:


    Iwamoto Kennosuke: protagonist
    Hiraoka Sadakata: comrade
    Goda IEtsuna: comrade
    Yukiyama Koan: comrade

    Iwamoto Sen: Kennosuke's younger sister

    Sugenoya Katsutada: commander in Ota army, married to Kennosuke's aunt
    Ota Tomotoki: general of Ota clan and cousin to Daimyo
    Ota Ujinaga: Daimyo of Ota clan







    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    We crested the hill and immediately half of the first rank balked, reigning in their horses sharply and beginning to mill about. Sugenoya-tono, however, missed not a single beat. “Bows!” he barked, kicking his steed down the hill with his hatamoto in hot pursuit towards a large contingent of Imagawa horsemen. “Draw!” he ordered, and as if my hands had minds of their own they moved to pull a slender arrow from my quiver, then nock and draw, releasing on command as soon as my mount’s legs had all left the earth. All around me was a snapping sound as hundreds of bows launched their deadly missiles; we had trained since youth to loose arrows at the gallop.



    Many of the arrows in that hasty volley flew wide or high over their targets – mine included. But I had no time to think of that as I was slinging my bow over my shoulder and grasping at my tachi, a cavalryman’s long sword, and then we were upon the enemy.




    We raced towards them, howling wordless challenges, roaring our names to our foes as we threw ourselves into the maelstrom of flesh and steel. I charged my horse into an Imagawa bushi’s path and she veered away, ramming her shoulder into the other man’s mount. It reared back, throwing him off balance such that his wildly swinging yari only glanced off my shoulder guard; after that we traded ineffectual blows for the space of a few heartbeats before being swept apart. A cry was raised to my right, towards the water: “For Hitachi!” and even more Ota horsemen joined the fray, and I could somehow pick out Goda’s large frame in the confusion among them rather than in our own unit.

    The Imagawa samurai bolted, then reformed to face us again at the treeline, and the whole time we were hot on their heels.




    This time I was more ready. “Iwamoto Kennosuke!” I called, then crashed into a knot of dueling soldiers who were regrouping outside the wood. My mount reared, her flailing hooves opening a space before me and I pushed farther in, encouraged by Hiraoka urging me onward from just behind me. We lashed out on both sides of us, often foregoing defensive maneuvers and relying on our armor to ward off our enemies’ attacks.

    Then a man on my right, somehow focused on me in the scrum, landed a series of heavy blows on me: one, two, three, four; shoulder, forearm, shoulder, parry!

    I knocked his blade a way, pushing it past my right side, then whipped my own sword through his throat in a lighting riposte and the man fell away in a spray of blood, dragging his mount down with him. I whooped with delight, with pride! To my right Hiraoka was working abreast of me now and as I watched, exulting in my own victory, he pulled his horse about in an impossibly tight circle and, ducking a clumsy overhead swing, slipped his own blade past his opponent’s guard and plunged it home in a deadly chop just over his breastplate. We made eye contact as he ripped it out, unleashing a fountain of arterial blood, each of us the other’s equal, basking in our aura of invincibility.


    .






    And all around us the story was the same. Shouts of delight and relief resounded from our comrades, while cries of dismay and fear were uttered in the southerners’ dialect. Then we were chasing them, a few lighter men riding fast enough to catch some stragglers and lance them from behind, and others were hauling back their bowstrings and launching vengeful arrows at the struggles, Goda among them with his great war-yumi, and more of the Imagawa horsemen were felled even as they tried to escape.



    The four of us, myself, Yukiyama, Hiraoka, and Goda found each other – or, rather, we all rode to Goda since he was a head taller than most of the other men even when we were all mounted, congratulating each other, clasping forearms. “The heads we will take today!” crowed Goda, and we grinned back at him. Surely the lords would be impressed by our fighting prowess, and how handily we had beaten those impudent Imagawa dogs! Surely Sugenoya-sama would be glad to have vouched for me.

    Suddenly we were exhausted, and all around us it grew quiet. Hiraoka’s thin face almost sagged with relief when he saw Mifune riding over to us. “Good job boys,” he said gruffly. “We did some good fighting here, make no mistake. But we’ve yet more to do, and Sugenoya-tono is chomping at the bit to get into the Imagawa flank.” He grinned wickedly at our dismayed faces. “That’s right boys, back at it! This is no small skirmish, we’ve got to keep on them while they’re still reeling from losing their horse!” And then he was off, and we were following.








    Hatamoto: bodyguard/retinue
    bushi: warrior
    Last edited by waveman; July 08, 2018 at 08:58 AM.

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  4. #24
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Thank you Caillagh, SilentKiller, and Darkan. Hopefully this resolves the cliffhanger! I'll probably just add a glossary to each chapter so it's more accessible, along with a cast of characters. Thanks for the recommendations, I'll work on that index soon as well.

    I mean, here they are though, just riding up a hill with the enemy pretty far away, and then nope! Here they are, right-in-your-face
    Last edited by waveman; July 07, 2018 at 08:50 AM.

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  5. #25
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    The chaos, drama and excitement of battle come across both in your writing and your images, nicely done!

  6. #26

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    A lovely new chapter. I like the autobiographical approcah and the way it makes every encounter more personal. The feeling is that the patrogonist may die at any moment in any battle, that makes it awesome. I like the clear and cool pictures and the crisp writing.
    Good work, plus rep.
    100% mobile poster so pls forgive grammer

  7. #27
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Thanks to the both of ya, I've finished moving yet life is still somewhat chaotic. I'll try to have an update, hopefully to finish this battle, by mid-week

    I'm trying my best to keep too much time from passing between updates!

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  8. #28
    Darkan's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    No pressure, we're here. Good luck with bringing order back.
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  9. #29
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Chapter 4 part 2

    Characters:


    Iwamoto Kennosuke: protagonist
    Hiraoka Sadakata: comrade, a clever man
    Goda Ietsuna: comrade, a very large man
    Yukiyama Koan: comrade

    Iwamoto Sen: Kennosuke's younger sister

    Sugenoya Katsutada: commander in Ota army, married to Kennosuke's aunt
    Ota Tomotoki: general of Ota clan and cousin to Daimyo
    Ota Ujinaga: Daimyo of Ota clan







    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    We rode lightly to allow both man and beast some small respite. I believe that the riders were more tired than their mounts for the intensity of combat saps one’s strength like little else and that unexpected skirmish occurred long before we had the chance to do any real riding or maneuvering.

    There was a gentle incline as we rode away from the water and the small wood and as we reached the top of the gentle rise Sugenoya-tono lifted his yari horizontally above his head, signaling a stop, then he led us slowly forward. At this point I – along with many of the younger soldiers – was toward the middle of the formation but I’d be damned before I let myself fall to the rear of it, and so it was a few moments before I could see what had caused this stop: on the next set of hills the entire Imagawa army was arrayed. Thousands of proud banners were lined up on the steep hillside; thousands of spearpoints glinted menacingly in the sun.

    Suddenly, to our left the we heard the gun regiments opening fire, and we could begin to see the accompanying smoke wafting up over the land. Either this was the signal Sugenoya-tono was waiting for or it simply spurred him into action, for the order was passed down to ready bows and advance!

    “Look!” I called to my companions, “the Imagawa are already reforming to face us!”

    And they were: several yari-shu were bending back from the Imagawa force’s left flank, bending back such that the main line faced our army, and these men now faced us. “They must have seen their cavalry pulling back with their tails between their legs,” Hiraoka answered with a grin. But his smile quickly slipped into a grimace: “We’ll never break through that, there must be a thousand men facing us, maybe more.”

    “Maybe we don’t have to,” I murmured; Goda was already peering intently at the line of spearmen as we approached it, seeking his targets. “A thousand men here means a thousand less to face the main army. In the infantry fight,” I grunted as I hauled back on the bowstring, SNAP! and the arrow was away! “…we might even have the advantage in numbers now,” I finished, reaching for another arrow. The first had, as usual, been an abysmal miss.

    Hiraoka nodded at this and our company continued to launch arrows at the Imagawa infantry. We managed several more flights before we received any return arrow-fire, but by then our gunners and theirs were locked in their own duels and the roaring clash of infantry lines could be heard as well.

    Sugenoya-tono paused as if tasting the air – I watched him out of the corner of my eye – and he seemed to decide something that pleased him for he nodded ever so slightly to himself. THWACK!

    I was brought back to reality by an arrow shattering on my breastplate. I frowned, then giggled to myself as I launched another shaft at our foes. A hit! Granted, I had been aiming at the spearmen at the base of the hill and not the archers behind them who were now down a man, but still… maybe that was why they still let me have a bow? I glanced over and saw Goda looking quizzically at me between shots. I shrugged, explaining, “I was almost disappointed in how long it took them to hit us,” indicating the scratch left by the Imagawa arrow that had struck me. “They must be panicking.”



    He nodded, content with that answer and content to keep raining death on the enemy. “Give me your quiver,” he said, and I obliged: I had hit one foeman and truth be told was unlikely to strike another target. The remainder of my shots would likely be wasted and now I would be free to really take in the sights and sounds of the battle.

    The bowmen opposite us must have been green. Their shots came in fits and bursts, and most of their shots flew well high or well short of us. We had lost a few men here and there and a few mounts had bolted after taking hits, but that was to be expected when facing several hundred archers. The gunfire from closer to us was also sounding more ragged, while the more distant volleys were well disciplined and kept rolling in with the relentless regularity of the pounding sea. “They’re about to break,” I said to no one in particular.

    “Surely not,” Hiraoka said, frowning at an arrow snagged in his baggy pants.

    “I hope not,” Goda said as he again hauled back his bowstring.

    Then our horns were blaring, and the cacophony of the infantry melee seemed to be reaching a crescendo. Mifune-sama waved his yari in a broad circle above his head, then jabbed it ahead and left three times. That was our signal to follow him at a brisk trot while the more heavily armed and armored men followed Sugenoya-tono to the right towards the enemy’s rear.

    We quickly moved out of the depression we had been skirmishing from, and ahead of us we could now see the two bodies of infantry staining at each other at the base of the hills. Another jab from Mifune-sama and we broke into a gallop, now shouting our warcries. Did it matter that we were exhausted? No, for the Imagawa infantry seemed to break as soon as they heard us! Was it the thundering of our horses’ hooves, or our shouted challenges? It mattered not for where before there were formations of spears held by the men who had humbled the mighty Go-Hojo, now there were only fleeing men presenting their vulnerable backs to us.



    I whooped as we pressed on, didn’t even strike at any of these runners, merely bowling them over as we ploughed through the remnants of the Imagawa left flank into the next body of footsoldiers. Here we lay about left and right with our tachis and yari, and our unexpected assault here too rapidly broke these men’s resolve.



    Again we trampled through these men leaving the infantry to hack them down from behind, and again the next formation before us broke. Hiraoka was baring a skeleton’s lipless smile at our foes, thin-lipped and all teeth, and I was drenched now in blood. Goda was delivering methodical chops with the enormous strength of his large frame behind them.

    And with that, the Imagawa lines were gone. A sea of fleeing men was now making their way back west to our right, and the only resistance left to us were a small body of troops on the Imagawa right sheltered by a small ravine and anchored on two small hills.

    Hiraoka Sadakata reigned in his horse beside me, matching my gaze at these Imagawa bushi standing resolutely on their hill. As we watched the gunners delivered a final parting volley, then withdrew in good order, shadowed all the while by two companies of horsemen that somewhat matched our two hundred-odd men. Then they kicked their horses about and left. “Those banners belong to Sessai Taigen,” Hiraoka told me with a jerk of his head toward the departing Imagawa troops.

    “Oh?”

    “He’s a monk who serves Yoshimoto, military adviser.”


    “Why do you know this?” I asked

    “He is a wise man who knows his enemies,” Hiraoka replied.

    I shrugged and punched his shoulder-guard. “Well, I know that the majority of the enemy is those fleeing men, and we’re not going to be fighting Sessai Whoever-Monk’s men, so lets go take some heads!”

    Hiraoka shook his head with a smile and a snort, then followed me as I waded into the bloodbath that was the route. That would show them for invading Hitachi.




    Index
    Hatamoto: bodyguard/retinue
    Bushi: warrior (a samurai would be a higher-ranking bushi)
    Tachi: cavalryman’s long sword, worn cutting side down (opposite of Katana)
    Yumi: bow
    Yari: spear
    -shu: suffix indicating a formation, a yari-shu would be a unit of spearmen
    -jo: suffix indicating a castle
    -ji: suffix indicating a temple

    This index/glossary is going to be a work in progress; I’m already thinking about reorganizing it

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  10. #30
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    I enjoyed this chapter, particularly the observations which Iwamoto Kennosuke makes about what he sees, such as the skill of the archers opposite his position. The character list and index of terms are useful. I also like the way that your screenshots present the point of view of your characters.

  11. #31

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    I'm wondering, could this indeed be the most popular genre on the site? The socially outcasted child, who is seized by the prevarications of war and becomes a sword-in-the-ranks, acclimating to the realities of manhood? You do it well, waveman, avoiding some pitfalls and making your protagonist plucky and unsettled rather than, say, naive and silent. Right about now I'm wondering where you're at in the game as well, after these recent battles. Any struggles on the campaign map?

  12. #32
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Thanks Alwyn, and Beckitz. There'll be an examination of the state of the world in the next couple updates. I am indeed trying for a character like that, although I will admit that I have not provided much fleshing out of the protagonist - yet. The next update should address that shortfalling, I hope, but I did just want to get to this battle quickly

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  13. #33

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    I loved the description of the battle with the mass firing of arrows and people dying in front of their friends even as they watched due to an arrow shot from afar.
    I also loved that last screenshot of the body strewn battlefield and the way the soldiers showed disrespect to the monk general.

    "Good chapter, we want to take some more heads !".
    100% mobile poster so pls forgive grammer

  14. #34

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    I like the way you discribe the battle; from the view point of a character, who has to fight and can't tell us everything until he has the time - your screenshots enforce this even further with them, like Alwyn pointed out, showing us what the character sees. Do you constantly follow one unit when you watch the replay and take screenshots only from its viewpoint, and do you think about what your character will experience when you command this unit in battle?

    Anyway, great updates. Looking forward to learning more about the state of the world and our protagonist

  15. #35
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Thanks mad orc, more of the same in the next battle... when we get to it

    theSilentKiller: Yes, I just follow a single unit around the battlefield to limit it to the characters perspective. I do think a little about the character, but in the end it's a story about a man who is a simple soldier and must follow his generals' commands. If the unit gets particularly savaged it could be the end of the story

    Also, cavalry is rather fragile in s2 and the mod I'm using. Devastating for morale shocks but frontal charges on guns and on spears are borderline suicidal

    I'll have the next update ready on Thursday

    Edit: I seem to be just as bad at meetinf self-imposed deadlines as before I took a break from AARs... In my defence surfing conditions have been really good lately
    Last edited by waveman; August 14, 2018 at 10:27 AM.

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  16. #36

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    This has been great so far, I am really enjoying the more personal style of it. Most of these types of things focus heavily on factionwide events, so this is very refreshing personal; along with being well written. I am looking forward to the next part!

  17. #37
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Chapter 5: Victory

    Characters:


    Iwamoto Kennosuke: protagonist
    Hiraoka Sadakata: comrade, a thin, clever man
    Goda Ietsuna: comrade, a very large, strong man
    Yukiyama Koan: comrade

    Iwamoto Sen: Kennosuke's younger sister


    Mifune Jinzaemon: director of Ota messengers, subordinate to Sugenoya Katsutada
    Sugenoya Katsutada: commander in Ota army, married to Kennosuke's aunt
    Ota Tomotoki: general of Ota clan and cousin to Daimyo
    Ota Ujinaga: Daimyo of Ota clan

    Imagawa Yoshimoto: Daimyo of Imagawa clan, invaded Ota clan
    Sessai Taigen: monk, general of Imagawa






    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    We harried the Imagawa all the way back to the Tonegawa River, but were forced to allow their crossing by some of their reserve cavalry. "That'll be Ujizane then," Hiraoka said, jerking his head in the direction of these fresh Imagawa warriors who were untarnished by the stain of defeat.


    "Who? Ujizane who? " I asked.


    "No," Hiraoka chuckled in reply, "not Ujizane Who, but Who Ujizane. The commander of that cavalry is Imagawa Yoshimoto's son."


    "Ahh, I understand. Pity he wasn't at the battle, we could have sent him running as well!" We laughed, then pulled our mounts around with a last desultory wave to our departing enemies, and made our way to where the rest of the horsemen were gathering.


    Yukiyama waved us over, or rather gesticulated wildly at us with something bulky in his hand. "Look," he crowed, "look at this trophy!"


    "I could 'look' better if you would stop shaking whatever that is so wildly," Hiraoka replied dryly.


    Yukiyama tossed his head back to laugh, and I joined him - we were all in such good spirits! Then he tossed the object over to us, and I snatched out out of the air before Hiraoka could catch it. It was a helmet, and a fine one at that with a generous neck guard and two silvery horns sprouting from its sides. I whistled softly in appreciation before handing it to Hiraoka. "That's a fine piece, where'd you get it?"


    "Dueled an Imagawa officer," Yukiyama said proudly, then shrugged. "I caught him by the river and he was exhausted so I offered him a warrior's death instead of being run down like a peasant. And he died a good death," he finished, turning his horse so we could see the head tied to his saddle. Hiraoka nodded in respect, then passed the helmet back.


    Goda had been sitting there quietly, then groaned. "I shot my last two arrows into the group and not only did I miss the the man with the fancy kabuto AND everyone else, most of the men scattered and got between my sword and him. Then this lucky runt caught up to him!" he finished with some playful glare at Hiraoka.


    "Luck had nothing to do with it and you know it!"


    "Goda, Goda, Goda," I said, shaking my head. "You're doing your shooting wrong: the trick is to find a body of troops so big you can't miss!"


    "For you my friend that would take an entire army," Goda scoffed.


    "Hey, if it works I don't question it!"






    We walked back to Tsuchiura-jo, and the men sang for they were on high spirits. The only black stain on the day was that Sugenoya-sama had fallen in a second cavalry clash against Yoshimoto's personal guard, and it was said that the clash between the two hatatomos had been particularly bloody. Aside from that, however, we had suffered very few losses over all while bloodying the Imagawa handily.


    Back in the castle town the people were overjoyed. They, and the peasants closest to the Ota fortresses, were loyal to the clan and their fortunes would rise and fall with us. People sang and danced and have thanks to the gods for this great victory. For the victorious warriors sake was sold at discount prices - no doubt in the vein of the celebratory atmosphere, but a shrewd innkeeper would also know that a warrior's tales would attract a crowd that would be eager to buy both food and drink. As we moved towards evening we knew that there would be great bonfires lit on the outskirts of the town... But first I had other business to attend to.



    I said my goodbyes to my companions, leaving them at a favorite drinking hole of ours –after first of course accepting a few celebratory drinks and congratulations myself. I walked briskly through the streets to my destination, reveling in the atmosphere of the city. It was like a festival day had come early, and I could not help but smile at the joyous sight of the townspeople.

    So with a spring in my steps – and quite a bit of swagger as well – I made my way through the streets of Tsuchiura. I turned left off a main rode down the small alley that I had come to know so well, accepted flowers from one of the neighborhood girls, then made a left and after passing by a few more small streets, made another right after the chipped signpost. Unable to keep myself from smiling Ibounded up to the gate of the third small house on the street, opened it, and trotted to the door. “Sen!” I called, as I cast off my sandals and marched through the door, “Sen, Sen! I’m back!”

    She was already waiting in the front room, bowing. “I heard you coming from a long way away, brother,” she said, and I heard more than saw the smile that accompanied those words.

    “Ah, well you could have at least come out to greet me,” I groaned. “It’s been the longest three days of my life.”

    “Apologies,brother,” Sen murmured. And while she bowed deferentially to me there was definitely a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, a twinkle that was embellished by the glistening of tears of relief. “It’s been a long wait for me as well.” Noone bothered to tell the families of the low-ranking warriors of their fates;they would find out soon enough.

    “Well, the important thing is I’m back now Little One! Though not so little anymore, eh?Seems like every time I come back from the castle you’re taller. And more graceful.”

    “Only because you immediately go to sleep or out on the streets with your friends after you are done with the castle. O wise elder sibling.”

    I shook my head at her mockingly deferential words and pulled a purse from my sash. I had made certain to go back and recover the head of that Imagawa horseman from the cavalry skirmish for the head-viewing ceremony, including the placard with his name on it that was placed carefully in his helmet. Lord Ota and his cousin, Ota Tomotoki-tono, had been beyond pleased with the performance of the cavalry, and had generously rewarded all of us. And for myself, I had wanted to honor that fallen foe, the first man I had killed – a man who had fought bravely though his unit was outnumbered. Several more men had fallen to my blade during the route and one unlucky sod was felled by one of my arrows, but I would always remember that man.

    “Look at this Sen!” I tossed the purse to her. “We can get nice food, and finally buy you some nice kimonos! ‘Sen-hime’ they’ll call you!”

    She gasped and snatched at the purse as it sailed at her. “I doubt you understand how muchthat would cost…” but her voice trailed off and she dropped the bag, spilling silver coins across the floor. She covered her mouth with her hands, looking tome with her big, dark eyes, now filled with hope and expectation.

    “We’ll put alot of it away for later of course,” I declared waving my hand vaguely, “ands pend some tonight, then its off first thing tomorrow to get some new clothes for you.”

    “Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou!” she cried, throwing her arms around me.



    Index
    Hatamoto: bodyguard/retinue
    Bushi: warrior (a samurai would be a higher-ranking bushi)
    Jisamurai: a low-ranking samurai, part-time farmer
    Tachi: cavalryman’s long sword, worn cutting side down (opposite of Katana)
    Katana: the "classic samurai sword" that would gain fame later for its utility against unarmored men and in close quarters, worn cutting side up
    Yumi: bow
    Yari: spear
    -shu: suffix indicating a formation, a yari-shu would be a unit of spearmen
    -jo: suffix indicating a castle
    -ji: suffix indicating a temple

    Last edited by waveman; August 15, 2018 at 12:37 AM.

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  18. #38
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Thanks! I'm glad my attempts at conveying this smaller scale are working out

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  19. #39
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Great update! I enjoyed the banter between the characters, such as the line about 'Ujizane who', the comment about how to do archery and the conversation with Sen. That sounds like a very unusual ceremony (although perhaps it was usual, in that historical period)!

  20. #40
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    591

    Default Re: White Stone, Black Stone

    Unusual to us, yes, but typical for the period. They served several purposes, one being to allow warriors to prove their achievements similar to other peoples like the Gauls, and another being to honor brave or high ranking slain enemies

    My AARs/writing: Link
    Letters for writing: þ, ð æ Æ

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