I'll delete things I think should go and highlight in blue the things I think should be added. For additions that are more than simple corrections I'll add a short explanation as to why I suggested that change [explanations will look like this ] just to give you an idea of my reasoning. I figure that will help in case you don't agree with some suggestions, and then we can better discuss them later. The only other thing to watch for is text highlighted in orange, which will be things I think are in some sense awkward, but which I don't have a suggested change for. Aaaaaaannnnnnd we're off
Three of them
“There were three of us.”, the old wolf said, without averting his eyes from the distance.
I had walked up to greet him, but he had cut me short before I could do so.
“Three?” I asked puzzled: “Three of what?”
Only now then [using now made me think there was a tense mistake; there might not have been, but it's better to err on the side of caution and assume your readers are all fools like me ]did he turn his head and looked me straight into the eyes. I must have been an open book or to him, and the restless night of mine easy to spot. His face, on the other hand, was hard to read.
He didn’t answer my question, as was his custom.
Instead he rose, and with a bitter smile he pointed towards the door that led into the tower.
“I am ready now.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gundulf’s father by the same name was buried unceremoniously, though his former liege had honoured it with his presence, and his priest gave the body the last rites.
As his father was lowered into the ground, Gundulf’s heart sank as well, and the reality had finally sunk sank in. He sobbed, and was, as had happened repeatedly on this day, held by his uncle, as had already happened so often that day. The sun was about to set, and Laidulf knew his nephew was exhausted by this days their trials,[it seemed like "day" was being used too much] so he carried the boy to the stables, a As the tower would be occupied by the liege and his entourage, and laid Gundulf Laidulf laid his nephew in a pile of hay, where he soon fell asleep.[this sentence seemed like it was getting too long, so I thought a split might do well]
Then Laidulf then went to negotiate with the liege., Matteo’s father too soon arrivedarriving soon after, and the three of them had began to negotiate the future of the valley.
The proud and already powerful merchant once again tried in vain to convince the liege to entrust him with the valley, but was refused.
The liege was adamant: No matter the crimes of the lord, his son was his rightful successor.
But Gundulf was young, too young to rule. Someone had to rule in his stead, and his upbringing had to be taken care of.
And so the liege turned to Laidulf, and asked asking him, if he, as the boy’s closest relative and warden, would be faithful if he [there is some uncertainty in the phrasing here; will Laidulf be faithful to whom? who is the "he" who will be ruling in his stead? I know the answers to these questions, but those answers aren't readily apparent from the writing. Maybe splitting this into two more concise sentences could help make it more determinate] were to rule in Gundulf’s stead.
Laidulf agreed happily agreed. The liege then pointed out that the child would soon reach the age where it was customary to send them to another lord to serve as a pagus, and proposed that he’d gladly take the boy under his wings.
Laidulf, fully aware that his liege had asked for his nephew as a hostage to ensure his loyalty, once again agreed.
The liege then once again turned to the merchant, and asked him, if that the boy he had seen standing by him had been his son. The merchant gulped, fully aware what was about to happen, gulped, and could but barely nod.
“Then he too” The liege said: “Wwould benefit from seeing the world. A friend of mine, a rich man whose business stretches far and wide, has much to teach and can always use another pair of hands. I can take your son to him, and entrust his upbringing to a capable man, if you so wish.”
Matteo’s father, like Laidulf fully aware that there was no alternative, consented as well., fully aware that there was no alternative.
For a short moment, it seemed as if the liege smiled,. B but his face quickly turned serious again:
“That leaves one last issue; the murder of my vassal. Have you identified his killer?”
The merchant gulped yet again. He didn’t like what he was about to do.
On the very same That night, loud noises were heard throughout the otherwise silent valley: A man’s desperate pleas for his life, and then, after a muffled thud, the cries of a child. It was loud and close enough to wake Gundulf from his sleep, but, exhausted as the boy was, he soon dozed off again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tears had repeatedly formed in my eyes and dried in my skin, as the old wolf told me this tale. However, he showed no consideration to my sensitivities while doing so, and instead was always precise and thorough in recanting every gory detail that he’d remembered.
I began to feel sick, but he wasn’t done yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gundulf awoke early the next morning, and was put on a carriage, as the liege and his host prepared to return to their home in the north [is north correct?]. Laidulf came to see the boy off, but he didn’t spend many words on saying goodbye and or informing his nephew about what was to happen. Gundulf knew he was to become a pagus, as was customary for a child of noble descent,. I and he knew that it had happened a bit earlier for him than was customary, but thethough circumstances justified this. However, besides these facts, his uncle gave him no clues as what to expect. Looking backwards as the cart drove down the mountain, the boy's eyes turned to looked at the tower. Another rope hanged hung where his father had hanged before he’d been taken down and buried. [the past tense "hanged" is only used in reference to a person who is killed in that manner. Otherwise the past tense of "hang" is "hung". As a complex usage of both, consider the sentence "The prince was hanged for his crimes, and his corpse hung for all to see." The person of the prince is "hanged" but the sack of meat that is his corpse is "hung", given that it's no longer a person]This new rope, however, had only a head attached to it.
The rest of the body could be found on a spike in the center of the town, in front of the church, and not far from where the liege and the merchant had conversed. The carriage stopped not far from it, and Gundulf had some time to study the corpse in all detail. It had once belonged to the stableman. He Gundulf was still in a state of shock from yesterday’s events and thus this otherwise ghastly view thus didn’t not elicit any reaction from him.
[I feel like some transition is missing here]
He overheard some of the soldiers nearby talk about it as well. He had been executed for the murder of the lord, and to statute [odd word choice] an example, it had initially been carried out the same way.
Except that the rope used by the ‘mindless bastards’, as the soldier referred to those who had carried out the judgment, had been too long, and thus resulted in the rest of the body becoming detached from the head. The other soldier laughed nervously, but not for long.
“Did he really kill his lord? What reason could he have had for that?” A third soldier asked.
Gundulf didn’t get to hear the answer, as he was now joined by another passenger on his carriage.
The newcomer was Matteo, who, after seeing the corpse, had freshly thrown up before boarding.
Neither felt the need to talk, as the carriage once again set in motion.
Their feet dangling from the back of the carriage, they both looked around and silently said goodbye to the valley which they would not see again for a long time. Then, after passing the bridge, they saw the stable-boy jump out of the shrubbery and run after them. Now an orphan, there was no life for him to be had there.
“Wait for me!” he shouted. Gundulf and Matteo promptly made room in the middle and pulled the stable-boy, Aistulf was his name, up. They hadn’t really been friends before now, and had fought each other the day before, but as the carriage rolled on, they were all relieved by the fact that on their journey into the wide world full of strangers, they’d at least have each other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The old wolf stopped suddenly, and I could not help but sigh in relief once I realised the tale for today was over. After a few moments which we had both spent sitting in silence, I turned towards the narrator. His face had hardened. But other than that, he remained hard to read, whilst I did nothing to hide my horror.
I could not help but wonder, however, why he had told me all of this in third person. As if he had been there to witness it all, and yet at the same time, not been there at all.
I had to ask: “Before we entered the tower… You told me there were three of you…”
The old man nodded but otherwise remained silent.
“Those three were the children?”
He nodded again.
“And which one of them were was you?”
He stared right back at me, and took his time before responding: “All of them, and neithernone.”
By now I had become used to the fact that the old man liked to talk in riddles, but rarely to reveal the answer to them, so I knew better than to ask what he meant by that.
“The liege…” I asked instead: “Is this who I think it is?”
The old man nodded: “Albert Azzo.”
“The king…” I said astounded.
“Yes” The old wolf replied: “Though he was but a margrave when this happened.”
That night, as I was lying in my bedstead and bracing myself for yet another restless night, I compared his tale to my sparse previous knowledge of the general events, and finally succeeded in solving a part of his riddle:
There had been three of them: 3 children, born in the valley and forced into exile on the same day. They then had to depend on each other for decades to survive, and yet, at the end of it all, only one of them had been able to return. That man was no longer the innocent child that had left the valley. That man had been changed by a hostile world and the few friends he had had in it in particular. The child had become the embittered, fearsome old wolf that was now holding me captive, and his riddle had thus been truthful.
I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, but his words had dug deep into my brain and kept echoing through my mind.
There had been three of them. And only one of them would return as the fearsome, scarred old wolf. And deep down I knew, this would not be the last harrowing tale I’d hear from this man. This had only been the beginning.
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