Return of the crusader:An Empire total war Malta aar .

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

like all my other aars this one too is going to be history book style but short and fast

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

The muslim relief force

[Owlparrot3]

ok

[Alwyn]

Welcome back, mad orc. Playing as Malta will involve a challenging campaign, I imagine.

In your post today at 2.10 pm, it looks as if might have been trying to post screenshots which were saved on your computer. Here is the method which I use to post screenshots:

Screenshots

1. To take screenshots during the game, I use the free software fraps, which you can find online. I tend to take screenshots while watching replays of battles, with as much of the UI turned off as possible. 2. To edit screenshots, for example to crop out parts of the UI or to focus on part of a large image, I crop images using the free software paint.net, which you can also find online. I then save them as .jpg files - you can save them in any format which your chosen image-sharing web site will accept. 3. To make screenshots appear on your AAR, you would first upload them to an image-sharing web site such as photobucket or tinypic. After you have uploaded each image, the image sharing web site would give you a code. (In fact, they might give you several codes, so unless the correct one was obvious you might need to experiment to see which one works). 4. You would copy and paste the code into your AAR chapter. If you preview your post (before finally posting) you can check whether the image appears correctly. (When you have 25 posts, you will be able to edit your own posts. Until then, it is a particularly good idea to preview your posts. One good way of reaching 25 posts is to post encouraging comments and positive feedback on other AARs and stories).

You mentioned (in your post just now) that you cannot edit. As I mentioned (above, in the content box) when you have 25 posts, it should be possible to edit your posts using an 'Edit Post' button which will then appear on the bottom right hand corner of your own posts. (When you have 25 posts, you might need to wait a while before the site gives you the ability to edit - but, with one more post, it should be possible to edit your posts soon.)

[Owlparrot3]

THANKS A LOT .aND PLAYING AS MALTA AINT THAT HARD AS IT SEEMS EASPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE GOOD ALLIANCES

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

Please comment let me know where I am wrong and where I am not wrong

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Alwyn]

You have included a lot of action and adventure. You asked for feedback. I like your scene when the ministers are talking about Malta's strategy - I like reading hints about what your nation and your characters are trying to achieve, on a strategic level. That helps me to understand the importance of individual battles and other events. I like the way that you include dialogue (the conversation with the chief), this adds variety. Your chapters are short, which I see as a good thing because it makes it easier for readers to get into your story.

When I wrote my first AAR, an experienced AAR writers told me that my chapters tended to include a lot of different characters and events - there would be a sea battle, then a land battle, then we would hear from characters a long distance away from either battle. As I see it, you could improve your AAR by taking the advice which I was given. Focus for a bit longer on individual characters and events - they can always hear news of other events which happened in your campaign, you do not have to show the reader every significant event which happens in your campaign. I suggest picking a viewpoint character for each chapter and telling the story from their point of view. Merchant of Venice, when commenting on one of my AARs, suggested putting the name of the viewpoint character underneath each chapter, like this:-

Chapter 3

Salvatore Clemenza

You could try that approach. I like the way that you tell the story of the rebellion in the latest update. You could use your imagination and expand a bit on the experiences of characters who were involved. For example, during the rebellion, you tell us that the city was under siege, had very few defenders and was waiting for the relief army to arrive. That sounds like a perfect setting for some imaginative story-telling. You could imagine yourself in the position of one of the few defenders - perhaps you could tell this chapter from the perspective of a young officer, trying to appear brave to his men, saying confidently about the relief army arriving soon while privately worrying that the Nobles' League will overrun the city before the relief force gets there. Perhaps the young officer would talk to a friend (one of his men) about how to make the city walls appear better defended than they were. Maybe they found some civilian volunteers, gave them the jackets of militia-men and broom-handles with knives fixed on the end and told them to march along the walls while the Sun rose and set (to prevent the Nobles' League outside from seeing them clearly), to pretend to be soldiers (as if they were carrying muskets with fixed bayonets)? If this plan worked, perhaps the young officer could attract the attention of General Clemenza and serve in future campaigns? That is just an example of how an AAR writer can use their imagination to add detail and the perspective of a character to the events in our campaigns.

It sounds like Malta is building an empire - I wonder what will happen next? Will Malta expand further? Will this bring Malta into conflict with larger powers, such as Spain, France or the Ottoman Empire? I look forward to finding out.

[Caillagh de Bodemloze]

Hi, mad orc.

And wow! This has only been going a week, and there's loads of it!

So, you asked for feedback. Well, first of all, Alwyn's advice is good. (Alwyn's advice is generally good.)

Second, it seems to me that although you do tell us about your characters a bit - and I like those parts of the AAR - you have (as Alwyn says) quite a lot of different characters, but you haven't (so far) really used any character more than once. If you want us to be interested in, and care about, any of your characters, it's a good idea to reuse them. Show us what happens to them next. They're bound to be in danger (this is Total War, after all!) or having political difficulties, or something.

Of course, you may not want to have characters who are even partly the focus of the AAR. That's fine, too. But if you do, then I think reusing characters would help.

The last thing I want to say is not in any way a criticism of you or your AAR, but it might help you get more of the feedback you asked for. It's just that you posted a lot of chapters very quickly. That's great, because it shows that you're enthusiastic, and enjoying the process of giving us an AAR. Unfortunately for you, it can take a while for people to get round to reading new AARs (or new chapters of old AARs!) It generally takes people longer to get round to reading, and commenting on, an AAR if it looks as if they'll have to read a lot all in one go. So you might want to write your chapters in whatever word-processor you use, and save them, and then post them one or two a week, and see if that encourages more people to read and to post.

You can also post in the Advertising Thread in the Writers' Lounge to let people know about your AAR. And (a technique I have found particularly effective), if you post on other people's AARs, they might be encouraged to read yours, especially if you have a link to your AAR in your sig. (See below for my own example of shameless self-promotion. )

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Alwyn]

You're welcome.

You asked about the advertising process. Caillagh's post above included a link to the Advertising Thread, so you can just click on that link or go to the Writers' Lounge, where the Advertising Thread is located. Any AAR writer is welcome to post an advertisement on that thread. I suggest taking a look at that thread, to see how people advertise their AARs. Usually, an advertisement on that thread is like a trailer for a movie - it focuses on a few things that are exciting about your AAR and includes a link to your AAR. You can include a picture, but you don't have to.

[Owlparrot3]

Removed

[Alwyn]

That sounds like an exciting sea battle. (In the second sentence of the second paragraph, I wonder if a bit of editing would make this clearer - 'The merchant ship tried to avoid them but the master ship log that Louise..." seems a bit confused.) I'm intrigued by the hidden transportation of weapons, as part of an attempt to encourage a rebellion. The ways that you use the fallen ring, with the coat of arms, to provide a twist in the story is a nice touch. I wonder what the grandmaster will do now.