The EB II trait and ancillaries team are the most masterful trolls of all time

[Roma_Victrix]

Probably a hyperbolic title there, but still...you guys are hysterical, malevolent geniuses. For some reason my greatest generals with the most amount of command stars seem to stack up the quarkiest, undesirable traits towards the end of their careers (playing as Koinon Hellenon). For instance, my current faction leader, who has 7 command stars (and a full 10 commmand stars during siege assaults thanks to his traits and ancillaries), has recently gained this unsavory personality trait:

Unusual - convinced that all spiders are in cahoots with his enemies, this man spends many hours drowning the treacherous little bugs in vinegar!

Many hours, it says! Sounds like a really time-consuming paranoid habit. That must be very disheartening for his men, seeing how he has -1 troop morale and -1 influence as a result.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

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Please, by all means, come to this thread and angrily vent or simply laugh about the horrible traits and ancillaries that your generals and agents acquire during the course of the game. Personally, my favorite from other mods is the "problem mother" ancillary: "mother's not quite...feeling herself today!" Or even better, the evil mother-in-law: "just look at the state of you! Disgraceful..."

[Sar1n]

I think this particular trait is actually from vanilla. One of things I really missed from newer TW titles is extensive trait and ancillary system that really made distinctive FMs. Especially in conjunction with speeches (I wish they were possible for EBII). One FM would always rant about god, another would stutter and talk awkwardly, third would be foul mouthed, and fourth..

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Speaking of that...was it in EBII or KGCM where I saw ancillary "Foreign Fruitcake"? That one really made me laugh.

[Dooz]

Please, by all means, come to this thread and angrily vent or simply laugh

I chose the latter. 10/10 would laugh again.

[Outcast]

I remember there was a trait in EB1 called "Cat killer"

I think you got it randomly if you had your general stay in Egypt. 80% of my pontic generals had it

it was most offensive to me, a cat loving person

[Cryoshakespeare]

All of my Getai generals are obsessed with blood, which means I get to roleplay them sending in their men to the slaughter simply to get a kick out of it. Drapanai, and other such glass-cannon shock troops. are quite a favorite of theirs ^_^

[krste]

One of my family member in my Epeiros campaign has this ancillary:

Exceedingly ugly prostitute - She's talented, but you never hear the end of it from your friends and acquaintances. The higher you rise due to your achievements in governing and in battle, the more awkward the situation becomes. It might be best to try and convince one of your friends of her benefits, but it's doubtful that you'll ever be rid of her. She might cause you to become more irritable, grouchy, or even perverse. But then she also might drive you into your wife's bed more often as well!

She increases the chances of having children . Anyway top-notch description .

[Imperial Pudding Head]

I remember there's one time that I played a campaign with the seleukids and all of my generals started picking up a very weird habit. Almost all of them in their bid to become best friends with the basileus from sardis to syrinx started to become shameless, talkative, and toady suck-ups..
Needless to say most of them usually spent their days standing next door to their cities or in the minor settlements, since most of these traits increases unrest

But things get worse when my basileus, good ol' antiochos decided to claim he's divine

[Barnabas]

Is someone working on the traits for the upcoming version? Fixing the influence and confidence for factions which lack the office system? Some traits also need fixing, for example my Getai Fm is has both "rational beliefs" and "religious".
I also made this suggestion in the fan suggestions thread, how about giving Getai traits related to their perspectives of Hellenism? With these traits they can get bonus governing greek cities or extra plunder from sacking them. How about a religious office for them? Maybe a negative religious trait like "overzealous"?

I don't know if it exists but a trait for Aedui/Arverni when they destroy the opposing celtic faction would be awesome. Something like uniter of Keltoi (this name sucks though I bet the team can come up with a better one).

Last but not least, the hot topic. Homosexual traits?
Are we allowed to have pederasty in the game? (erastes trait?) -- Hope these don't get taken as trolling attempts..

[Rad]

I just realised that the dozen little things in the web of my room spider aren't flies she trapped, but her offspring. In short, I'll message when I settle in my new house.

[Boogie Knight]

I just realised that the dozen little things in the web of my room spider aren't flies she trapped, but her offspring. In short, I'll message when I settle in my new house.

Your sponsorship of just $5 a month can help this man be rid of his spider problem for good. No one should have to suffer like this; not in 2016. #SpiderAppeal2016 #JusticeForVictims #VinegarForRad

EDIT: Almost forgot what I came here to say. Traits and ancillaries are like the icing on the cake for roleplay; they bring the characters alive. If I ever got time to learn to mod one thing about this game, it'd be traits and ancillaries.

[Rad]

Can we ask for a flamethrower isntead? Military grade should do it.

[Grimmy]

I just realised that the dozen little things in the web of my room spider aren't flies she trapped, but her offspring. In short, I'll message when I settle in my new house.

No need to run away. Just approach the senior spider, calmly. Remind the spider that this is your home and ask it, kindly, to leave.
If the spider refuses, you can then start a social media campaign against the spider, get it disemployed and possibly jailed for made up crimes.

re traits and suchlike.
Minion. My favorite general turns out to be someone's minion?
Damn.

[Rad]

Dude, spiders are self employed. They live on spreading fear.
They cannot be coerced or reasoned with.

[Roma_Victrix]

Dude, spiders are self employed. They live on spreading fear.
They cannot be coerced or reasoned with.

[A dead bug's head falls to the ground from the spiderweb, where the rest of its body is wrapped and bled dry.]

Maximus Decimus Meridius: "They say no."

Spider (screaming at the top of its tiny lungs, which to human ears sounds like a mousy, high-pitched whisper): "IHR SEID VERFLUCHTE HUNDE!!!!"

Quintus: "Spiders should know when they're conquered."

Maximus: "Would you, Quintus? Would I?" [Proceeds to shake bottle of bug spray.]

[Rad]

Roma_Victrix!

[Kyriakos]

Spiders, germans, spider-germans :o

[Roma_Victrix]

Spiders, germans, spider-germans :o

"Spider Germans"...that almost sounds like an 80s cartoon, up there with Biker Mice from Mars and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Lol. You should pitch that idea to the Cartoon Network.

[Rad]

Yes, do that. Combine scary with efficiency and a periodical tendency to try to rule the world.

[Funkmaster Rick]

There are a lot of fun little bits in the traits/ancillaries system. One of my favourite is that the Mistress ancillary can be moved from general to general. I frequently end up with my faction leader gaining one very early on in his life, keeping her up till nearly his deathbed, and then passing her on to one of his sons. I don't even want to think about how to justify that roleplay-wise: it just happens.

[Roma_Victrix]

There are a lot of fun little bits in the traits/ancillaries system. One of my favourite is that the Mistress ancillary can be moved from general to general. I frequently end up with my faction leader gaining one very early on in his life, keeping her up till nearly his deathbed, and then passing her on to one of his sons. I don't even want to think about how to justify that roleplay-wise: it just happens.

Lol. One would think that it wouldn't be the exact same mistress. Probably her daughter or a relative.