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Thread: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

  1. #1

    Default [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Hi! You may know me from my other AAR, the Eastern War (link here: http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showt...r-A-Sicily-AAR), which I hope to finish eventually. I've decided to experiment with some new ideas using a character from a recent Denmark campaign I've been playing who has recently become one of the most unlikely kings of Denmark.

    Thomas is a French general who I had one of my princesses marry and bring into the Denmark faction, and when I recruited him I noticed he had traits including Vendetta against the Holy Roman Empire and Hates Germans along with other traits suggesting he was a veteran warrior who had been fighting against the HRE (who I was also fighting as Denmark) for a while. He ended up being one of my best generals, as I had him recruit a small force of mercenaries and fight a sort of guerrilla campaign against the HRE as well as Norway. As time went on, I didn't really watch the family tree and when I received the notice that my king had died of old age, I discovered that Thomas was the new king. I realized that his path from French noble to King of Denmark would make a great AAR to write about and I hope to make this a short but memorable series. Unfortunately, I've been playing as Denmark and not really following what's happened in France, who I'd allied with but were often reluctant to give me map information (they were fighting a losing war against both England and the HRE but a recent toggle_fow has revealed that they've recovered nicely and have gained territory from the HRE). It's also been a few turns since he's become king, so there's a lot of events that have happened since he's joined the Danish armies that have yet to be covered. With this in mind, his backstory from before he joined the Danes will be completely made up and a lot of his early exploits will have to be written from memory. With this in mind I may have to recreate scenes using custom battles or screenshots from other games, but I still hope to make this into a short but memorable AAR. With that being said, here's the first few chapters of my new AAR The Legend of Thomas, King of The Danes.

    Prologue: King of The Danes

    “The King is dead, my lord.”

    Thomas took the parchment from the messenger’s hand. The wax seal confirmed that it was from the palace in Arhus. Breaking it, he unrolled the letter and read.

    “It says I am to be the regent… But why pick me and not a Dane? What madness consumed King Knud in his age?”

    The sound of swords drawing caused him to look up in fear, his hand instinctively reached for his sword hilt. The messenger, the nobles in his war council and the guards all stood with their swords drawn towards him.

    No Frenchman could be King of the Danes. I thought I could trust these men, but at least they’ll let me die with a sword in my hand.

    Then, to a man, they all knelt before him.

    “To the Prince Regent Thomas! Long may he reign!”

    He didn’t know who it was that said it, but soon shouts of “Thomas!” rose and within a minute it seemed as if all the Danes in Frankfurt shouted his name. Thus began the reign of Denmark’s first French king.

    From the Life of King Thomas

    It didn’t take long for the title of Prince Regent to give way to King, and soon King Thomas the Merciless led the Danes to victory over the remnants of the Holy Roman Empire, bringing the walls of Nuremberg down and satisfying the vengeance and bloodlust that had consumed so much of his early life. But before that great moment of victory can be examined, the life of the man who claimed it must be discussed. Thomas was not always meant to be a king or even a warrior, yet he would rule over an empire and spill rivers of blood just the same. Born in the newly conquered city of Metz, he lived at a time when the mighty Kingdom of France was beset from two fronts, facing attacks from the English to the north, and the Germans to the east. This came after a period of civil war which rent the Kingdom asunder. At the time, the Holy Roman Empire was the most powerful force in Europe, only just starting to mobilize against France. Tensions with both the Republic of Genoa to the south and the Kingdom of Hungary to the west were also brewing, though this had not yet escalated into war. Spying opportunity in the never-ending conflict between the Danes and Norwegians, the Emperor sent his legions northward to seize the Danish capital of Arhus. Although the Danes were powerful, even they could not prevent the Fall of Arhus, which prompted the aged King to retreat eastward with his royal court as the city fell to the Germans. Before Prince Knud could reclaim the city and before the mighty empire was brought down to its knees, an age of strife and fear ruled over lands of Europe. Before the fateful marriage between Duke Thomas and Princess Andrea, he had lived a life of privilege within the walls of Metz…


    Chapter 1: A Sunny Day in Metz

    “Mother, you can’t be serious. I can’t marry a woman from Genoa!”

    It was a hot day in Metz, the sun glistening off the Moselle river. With the conquest by the French and the coming of the war with the Germans, Metz had been built into an imposing castle, yet by the riverside it seemed barely a pebble on the land. The streets were lined with market stalls, with merchants and soldiers walking through the streets. The arming sword Thomas himself wore at his side marked him as a son of the newly appointed Duke.

    “Besides, the Genoese are still part of the Empire, how can we trust them to join the fight?”

    His mother’s jewelry shined in the sun, the fine gown she wore marked her as the Duchess, and as the pair walked through the streets, all moved aside and offered respects.

    “Thomas, the Genoese are on the verge of declaring independence and lending their swords to our cause. Besides, it will be a fine marriage, she’s the daughter of the Doge himself.”

    “And if they do so, they’ll end up like the Danes and I can marry into a republic of ruins. It is a fitting marriage I suppose, the third daughter for a second son. None of us are likely to inherit anything.”

    “The Genoese elect leaders from among their nobles, perhaps you may become the Doge of Genoa.”

    At this, Thomas had to laugh.

    “I find it hard to believe the Genoese would elect a Frenchman.”

    “In these times, stranger things have happened…”

    His mother stopped to pass a coin to a street urchin, one of the ever-increasing number of war orphans that were beginning to choke up the streets. As they continued down the street towards the gates to the castle.

    “Father and Simon should have returned from the hunt by now.”

    “You know how it is with these things…” As she trailed off, the captain of the guard approached flanked by two spearmen. “How have you been, Sir Gregor?”

    “Busy, my Lady. These new recruits aren’t fit to fight sheep, let alone the German hordes.”

    Thomas frowned at this.

    “How large is the garrison, anyway?” he asked, with just a hint of nervousness.

    “We have roughly three hundred spearmen, half of them new recruits. We have a company of just over a hundred archers and maybe fifty horsemen. Your father and brother each have thirty sworn knights under their direct command.” A bit under strength for a border fortress but we could hold off a German attack long enough for reinforcements from Paris.

    “How many can we spare should the king call his levy?”

    “We’d probably have to send all the horsemen and maybe half the spearmen. We’d need the archers to defend the city if we come under attack. So long as we held the walls and gates, we could survive an assault.”

    “And are we likely to come under attack?”

    “For now they seem preoccupied with the Danes, the King may want to take advantage of this preoccupation and launch an invasion. Still, I’ve heard they have endless legions of troops and we are at a border castle…. Come to the next council meeting, you have much more to learn, and war is a good opportunity for a young noble.”

    “Perhaps I can get some experience on the battlefield before Mother has me shipped off to Genoa.”

    Sir Gregor smiled at this.

    “Between the English to the north and the Germans to the east, you’ll have plenty of time for that.”

    Before his mother could note her disapproval, the guard atop the watchtower blew his horn. The gates opened and the sound of hooves pounding against the paved road filled the air. With his guards and son accompanying him, the Duke of Metz galloped in with a deer draped over his shoulder, the wound on its flank clearly marking where the arrow hit. He handed it off to one of his men.

    “Get this to the butcher. Tonight we’ll have a fine meal.”

    The man and two others rode off, carrying bags of what looked like hares in addition to the deer that was caught. The Duke dismounted from his horse and handed the reigns to one of his other men, bringing it with the company as the rode off to the stables. Simon waved his family as he rode by.

    “See you at dinner!” Simon briefly yelled out, before joining the rest of the men.

    After watching his son ride away, the Duke turned to address Sir Gregor.

    “Have my wife and son been keeping you good company?”

    “Of course, my Lord. I’ve been telling Thomas here about our garrison and entreating him to come to the council meetings.”

    “I see. This one’s nose is always too buried in books, and if I the rumors I hear are correct, handmaidens from Paris.” With that, he laughed and clapped Thomas on the back.

    “Father please.” The parts of his face not covered by his beard turned bright red. “It’s tavern gossip, nothing more.”

    “Never mind. I’m going to wash up, I’m going to address the council before supper and I expect you to be there.”

    As the Duke returned to the castle with his mother and Sir Gregor returned to the troops, Thomas made his way to the kitchens to get a taste of the night’s supper, then he went off to get a taste of Margaux before the meeting as of course, the rumors were true.

  2. #2
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Great start! King Thomas sounds like an interesting character. I wonder if the Genoese will declare independence, as they are expected to do, and what the consequences will be.

  3. #3
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Alwyn's right, this is an interesting start.

    Looking forward to seeing how it all develops.






  4. #4

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Hi Thanks for the feedback, you guys have been helpful both with this and the Eastern War, which has been much appreciated. I'm kind of torn between just continuing the story along linearly (which the next chapter will be) or switching between Thomas in the present day and his past. Any advice on which would be better will be very appreciated.

  5. #5
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    If I've managed to be at all helpful, I'm really pleased. I think it's really hard to give people advice about writing, because so often what works for one person doesn't work for another.

    I think if I were deciding between a strictly chronological story, and one that alternates between the present and the past, I'd be asking myself whether there's any reason to alternate. So, for instance, if the events of Thomas's youth parallel the events of the present day, that's an interesting comparison, so I might alternate to make the parallels obvious. If there's no particular reason to alternate, then I probably wouldn't. (But I'd save the idea of alternating and make sure I came up with another plot for an AAR where I could use it later. )






  6. #6
    waveman's Avatar Decanus
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    You could do a brief reflection before or after the linnear segments? I think it depends also on what you want the present-day parts to be about. Looks like a good start!

    My AARs/writing: Link
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  7. #7

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    I quite like this, I once wrote a novella with the title "The Legend of David". I must have it kept up somewhere in my library, but that's besides the point! This is good, and great minds alike make great titles!

  8. #8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    I'm sorry it's taken this long to get one more part out, I've been quite busy so it's taken a while, hopefully I'll be able to release these on a more regular basis and I eventually want to be able to move onto a new series with one of the more interesting mods (maybe Thera?).

    Chapter 2
    : The Council
    “I fear treachery more than assault. Metz stood with the rebels during the civil war. I also hear whispers of German agents trying to bribe officers to turn their cloaks.” The Duke sipped from the goblet of wine in his hand as he stared at the map laid out on the table.

    “With the bulk of their forces focused on the Danes, perhaps they may need to resort to such measures.” Thomas gestured at the pieces resembling the Imperial armies. They were far into Danish territory, with Arhus firmly in their grasp.

    “Good observations, my son. But I wouldn’t count our allies as out of the fight just yet. They have ferocious warriors and may soon reclaim Arhus. I heard that Fleury Capet is up there too, married to some Danish princess. He’s a good fighter and a good thinker, they’ll set him upon the Germans.”

    “Have we heard back from the garrison in the eastern tower, Gregor?” Simon asked.

    Gregor shook his head. “They’re due to report by tonight, my lord, but so far there’s been nothing.”

    “Then we should attack! They are distracted, if we march on them we could seize territory. Fighting the Danes in the north and us in the west, we could trap them between a hammer and an anvil. Why should we wait for the King to order us to do what we’ll end up doing anyway?”

    “We have barely enough men to defend the castle, how can we expect to take anything if we march east unsupported? That’s assuming the men don’t defect to the Germans and kills us.” Sir Gregor was often unafraid to put his superiors in their place. “What your father speaks of is true, we have seen agents and spies among the city, though we have yet to catch one.”

    “How many of the men can we trust?” The Duke asked.

    “Maybe half. The horsemen and knights are loyal, but the rest….” He was interrupted by a messenger. The man gave a parchment to the Duke and Thomas could spy the royal seal from Paris upon it. The Duke broke the seal and read it.

    “The King has called his banners. We’re to march north against England.”

    “England? Shouldn’t the northern lords deal with that? We can’t afford to pull troops from the eastern border.” Simon wasn’t particularly pleased.

    “The Angevin Empire is extremely dangerous. They’ve seized half the north already, and they’ve nearly wiped out the Scots.” Thomas pointed at the three northern castles of Bruges, Caen, and Rennes, all under banner of the English lion.

    “We have no quarrel with the English. That’s the King’s fight, not ours!” Simon would not relent.

    “The King’s fight is our fight, and to defy him is folly. We’ll send what we can and march to war. Simon will ride with me and command our cavalry, I will command the infantry.” He pointed to Thomas and Gregor. “You two will stay with the remaining garrison and defend the castle from any German attacks. Gregor, I want you to start rooting out their agents. Thomas, I want you to govern the castle in my name. You should also learn everything you can from Gregor. You still need training.”

    Thomas sat in thought, Simon backed down, and Gregor stroked his beard. The Duke emptied his goblet.

    “I think we’ve had enough for today. Tonight we’ll feast and in the morning we’ll march north. I don’t like this any more than you do but to defy the King is to invite danger. At least if we march with him I can gain our house some favor. Anyway, this meeting is adjourned. I’ll be in my study.”

    As Thomas strolled through the streets he pondered how he would deal with the boredom of governing Metz. He knew he wasn’t much of a warrior but war still fascinated him, and missing out disappointed him. He hadn’t been able to travel much throughout his life, during his childhood his father was a minor noble living in a modest chateau. Although he commanded little clout, his father had a reputation as a fierce warrior and when Metz fell, the realm was surprised to see Metz awarded to a man of such low status. Thomas was just ten years old when they first moved into Metz, which at the time had still been a modest town. Now Metz stood as one of the greatest border castles in the east.

    It was late in the afternoon and the sun was beginning to lower. Something caught his eye as he stopped just outside a tavern. Across the street a hooded man was glancing around nervously before walking into an alley. Thomas followed, keeping his distance. As he reached the mouth of the alleyway he saw a coin that must have slipped out of the man’s coinpurse as he left. Holding it up to the light, Thomas saw the mark of the Reich.
    “You there! Stop!” He drew his sword and approached the hooded man.
    The man stopped and appeared to acknowledge him as Thomas grabbed the folds of his cloak. Before he could react the man whirled around and slashed at him with a dirk. With only his arm to block the blade, he could only feel pain as the blade tore through his flesh. Before he knew it the man had pulled back his bloodied dirk and lunged again. This time Thomas was able to avoid the blow, but lost his footing and found himself kissing the cobblestone road. Those lessons where Sir Gregor emphasized footwork came flashing back as he turned to face his attacker and grabbed at his sword. Before he could raise it to defend himself, the man’s black boot crashed down on the sword and Thomas could only close his eyes as he waited for the blade to finish its bloody work.

    It never came.

    The man’s body collapsed on top of him, a gaping wound in his chest. Behind him stood a young, fresh-faced soldier, with a bloodied spear. Once Thomas pushed the corpse away, the soldier offered his hand.

    “We needed him alive.” He spat out blood.

    “I’m sorry m’lord. I saw him about to kill you and I…”

    “No it’s fine. Go report to Gregor and tell him to send some men. We need to search this body and see who he works for.”

    He picked up his sword and spat on the corpse. He looked around to see the streets had cleared of people, scared off by the sound of fighting. Several spearmen came bearing a stretcher.

    “Bring this back to the castle, we’ll see what we can find.” He looked up at the darkening sky.

    "I have a feast to attend."

  9. #9
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    That's a very nicely written chapter, Jogen! I wonder what they will find...






  10. #10

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Yeah thanks! Is anyone having issues viewing images? I can't see them on the forum and I have to open the link in a new tab to see them. Is there any way to fix this?

  11. #11
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Good updates! You asked if anyone is having issues viewing images. I cannot see any images in your recent chapters. How are you uploading them - are you uploading them onto an image sharing web site (such as photobucket or tinypic) and copying the code for forums for each image into your chapters? (If you select 'Go Advanced' when posting a chapter, you can then preview your post to see if the images are appearing correctly).

  12. #12

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    I've been using postimg and using the insert image button, but that doesn't seem to be working so I guess I'll try the ones you mentioned.

    Thanks!

  13. #13
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    If you have the details from when you uploaded the images to postimg, feel free to PM me. I've used postimg for a lot of my pictures and managed to get it to work fine. Maybe between us we can sort it out for you.






  14. #14

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Hi All, thanks for the advice on images, I used an image from a Skyrim mod on modsdb, and I assume that I'll probably be using other games until I catch up to where I am in the game. The other possibility I'm floating is that once battles start I'll try to recreate them using Age of Charlemagne. I would like some constructive criticism on the character of Margaux as I feel I probably could have developed her better instead of her being some kind of prop in a revenge story. I'm also thinking of having Parisian characters sprinkle bits of French in their speech (my French isn't particularly good though) to reflect differences with the border provinces, though this might be gimmicky.

    Chapter 3:
    Night

    “Sir Gregor. Have we heard back from the watchtower?” Thomas sat next to the old knight at the long table, to the left of his father.

    ‘No, my Lord. You are right to be concerned, they should have sent a rider back an hour ago.” He motioned to one of the guards by the door. “Find out what you can of the spy.”

    The man nodded and left the hall.

    Thomas drained his fifth goblet and filled it again with yet more wine. The pain from his bandaged arm was only just becoming dull. The hall was dark as it had always been, the torches providing only just enough light to see the tables filled with drunk knights. His leg of mutton finished, Thomas set the bone down and grabbed at a hunk of bread and dipped it in his stew, letting the broth seep through. As he ate, he eyed Simon, who drank little. He was due to leave that night with the cavalry and answer the King’s call. The cover of night was the best way to leave without getting ambushed, a very real threat as the bandits had grown bold in the chaos of war. Simon was already dressed for battle, with a cloak over his chainmail armor. His mother and father sat at the head of the table, gazing at the long tables with knights and ladies feasting. Most of them would leave with Simon at the feast’s end, a prospect that Thomas could not help but feel uneasy about. The Duke rose to speak and all fell silent.

    “Men and women of Metz! Tonight my son rides to war with our brave horsemen. The King has called his banners to drive out the English scum that plague our northern lands. If we serve the King faithfully, we will be rewarded greatly. While Simon serves our house on the battlefield, I wish for Thomas to serve our house in Paris, at the King’s court!”

    Thomas looked in surprise at his father. He then looked at Simon and Gregor, who both grinned knowingly at him.

    “It’s time son. Make our house proud. Go with God and show the English what it means to taste French steel.”

    With that Simon rose and with him all the knights in the hall. He drew his sword and raised it.

    “With this blade, I will carve our house’s name into the souls of our enemies!” He gazed at the knights in the hall. “Let’s show our King what we can do. Tonight we ride!”

    He sheathed his sword and gave his father and mother a kiss each, leaving the hall with the knights. As the remaining guests sat back down and resumed their conversations.

    “Why the deception?” He whispered to Gregor.

    “To see the look on your face.”

    An hour passed before the guard that Gregor had sent out returned and whispered in his ear before returning to his post.

    Gregor motioned for Thomas and the Duke to come with him. The Duke paused for a moment, and motioned for his wife to join them. As they went out into the hallway outside, Gregor dismissed any guards in the area.

    “The dead spy was working for the Germans. His purse was filled with their coins and he had orders to bribe the guard commanders. He was due to slip out tonight.”

    The Duke stroked his beard. “How many did he reach? Enough to make a difference?”

    “If he got just one company on his side, the traitors could open the gates and any forces they have could storm the city.”

    “Anything else? Is something to happen tonight?”

    “I don’t know, but it would be convenient.”

    “We need all forces that we know to be loyal on alert. Everyone is to be assigned guards and Thomas, you must be armed at all times.”

    “Yes, father.” Thomas nodded.

    “What was that?”

    “Nothing, my love. Let me get the door.” Margaux rolled out of the bed, wrapping the blanket around her.

    Thomas slipped into his trousers and sipped at water from a wineskin. It must have been in the early hours of the morning as the only candlelight filled the room. Thomas felt guilty about whatever the guards outside must have listened to. He examined the wound on his arm.

    Time to change bandages, he thought.

    Margaux had already done it once, but he knew the healers would be annoyed at him.

    “No one’s knocking, come back to bed. Have you slept well?”

    Oui, but I could use some more.” She stopped for a moment. “Maybe the guards have fallen asleep.”

    “They are raw recruits. Gregor said they weren’t fit to fight sheep, let alone angry Germans.”

    Margaux laughed her beautiful laugh. “C’est la guerre.

    He let out a loud yawn. “You know, I bet father hasn’t slept. He was in the study last night, poring over maps and writing letters to Paris. Have you been back lately?”

    Non.” she shook her head. “I don’t really miss it, too much scheming and plotting. I like it out here, you border folk are honest and say what’s on your minds. Should I get the door, now?”

    “Alright, take the lamp and let me get my blade, father said to be armed at all times.” He passed her the lamp and grabbed his sheathed arming sword.

    “Boys and their swords.” She opened the door and peeked outside. “Where are the guards?”

    “Off having a piss maybe. Get back here.” Thomas gripped his sword hilt.

    Merde! Don’t be so dramatic.” She stepped out of the room.

    “Margaux please!” But before he could follow her he heard a gurgling sound and a sharp thud.





    He drew his sword and ran out into the hallway where he saw a cloaked man in black standing over Margaux holding bloodied dirks in each hand. Margaux lay sprawled on the floor with blood pouring out of a gaping wound in her neck. The two guards were slumped against the wall with slit throats. Only rage guided him as he killed his first man. He didn’t even notice that his wound had reopened as he pulled the sword from the assassin’s body. He didn’t even remember running him through. He only remembered blind rage. He leaned against the wall, barely noticing the bodies on the floor. He only felt a numb.

    I must find father.

    There was no time to rest as the shouts of men and the sound of steel clashing on steel filled the streets and courtyards.

    It’s begun.

  15. #15
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Good update! I see what you mean, when you wrote that you're concerned about Margaux being a 'revenge prop'. You have provided some good hints about Margaux's personality, such as her preference for 'honest border folk' rather than 'scheming and plotting'. (You might want to read Critic's Quill articles such as Lortano's The fairer side of life: Writing women in CW and AARs and Hitai de Bodemloze's Cool Girls and Call Girls: reconciling Radzeer's theory on female characters in after action reports with Way of the Bow and the prostitute archetype.) The action scene, with the use of the image from Skyrim, is well done. A few French words or phrases can work well. I don't think you need to worry about not being confident in speaking French; it's probably best to use relatively well-known French words (as you have done) to avoid putting off readers who don't speak French.

  16. #16
    Caillagh de Bodemloze's Avatar to rede I me delyte
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    Default Re: [SS 6.4] The Legend of Thomas, King of the Danes

    Alwyn's right - you don't want to make the French too complicated, or it'll put people off!

    I also understand why you worried about Margaux. Having said that, I think it's pretty much impossible to write a story where everybody is a fully-developed character. It would be phenomenally boring to read, because you'd spend the whole time learning about people who aren't really ever going to do much. So I don't think you should worry too much about Margaux. If you bear in mind that you've now introduced one character just to kill her off, and make sure it doesn't become a habit, it shouldn't become too big a problem, I think.

    (If you were writing a novel, I'd suggest going back and introducing Margaux earlier, just so you can avoid being concerned about this. Obviously you can do that here, by editing posts, but the chances of people re-reading previous chapters are probably quite small, so I wouldn't bother, personally.)






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