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Thread: Books that never got published...

  1. #1

    Default Books that never got published...

    Hello there. I was reading an article in the Daily Express about books that never got published and I laughed so hard I spilt coffee on my crotch. Please get some coffee and station it near your crotch area so I don't feel alone...

    FICTION

    Planet of the Knob Heads
    Stanton A Coblentz, 1939.

    Roger the Scout
    H strang and G Lawrence, 1910.

    LANGUAGES

    An Irishmans' difficulties with the Dutch language
    Rev. John Irwin Brown, 1908.

    Laundry Lists with detachable counter-checks in French, spanish, Portuguese, German, Italian, including vocabularies and neccessary phrases and phonetic spelling.
    W J Hernan, 1909.

    NATURE

    Swine judging for beginners
    Joel simmons coffey, 1915.

    Rats for those who care
    Susan Fox, 1995.

    Enjoy your skunks
    Ellen Perley, 1967.

    Beyond leaf raking
    P.Benson & E. Roelkeppartain, 1994.

    Thirty years of Bananas
    Alex Makula, 1970.

    Arresting disclosures. A report on the strange findings in undergarments washed with soap and water and popularly supposed to be clean, fresh and wholesome
    John A. Bolton, 1924.

    The urine dance of the Zuni Indians of New Mexico
    Captain John G Bourke, 1885.

    HEALTH

    A pictorial book of tongue coating
    Anon, 1981.

    Old Age: It's cause and prevention
    Sanford Bennett, 1912.

    The inheritance of hairy ear rims
    B R Gates and P N Bhaduri, 1961.

    Memoirs of an amnesiac
    Oscar Levant, 1965.

    SEX AND MARRAIGE

    How to pick up women in Discos
    Don Diebal, 1981.

    Happy though Married
    Harriet Dorson, 1923.

    THE WORKPLACE

    The joy of cataloguing
    Sanford Berman, 1981.

    The Romance of the Civil Service
    Samuel McKechnie, 1930.

    SPORT

    Queen Victoria and Ping-pong
    Gwendolen Freeman, 2004.

    By his own hand: A study of Cricket's suicides
    David Frith, 1991.

    LEISURE

    The great pantyhose crafts book
    Ed and ateve Baldwin, 1982.

    Suggestive handwork for lower classes
    Arthur B Neal, 1874.

    Proceedings of the second international potato modelling conference
    A J Haverkort, 1995.

    Knitted historical figures
    Jan Messant, 1992.

    Frolic and fun with egg shells
    Meredith Nugent, 1903.

    Spirit wrapping made easy
    Dion sweird, 1926.

    FOOD AND DRINK

    Why not eat insects?
    Vincent M Holt, 1885.

    The Thermodynamics of pizza
    Harold J Morowitz, 1991.

    WAR AND CONFLICT

    Nuclear war: What's in it for you?
    Ground zero war pub., 1982.

    Your answer to invasion- Ju-Jitsu
    James Hipkiss, 1941.

    Thrilling experiences of the first British woman relieved by Lord Roberts

    J.R. 1900.

    How to Abandon Ship
    P.Richards, J. Banigan, 1933.

    LAW AND ORDER

    Truncheons: Their Romance and Reality

    Erland Fenn Clark, 1935.

    Taking Life Imprisonment Serously
    Dick van Zyl Smit, 2002.

    CLOTHES AND FASHION

    Living without gloves
    Halford E Luccock, 1957.

    Intemperance and Tight Lacing, considered in relation to the laws of life
    O S Fowler, 1849.

    ONES THAT ACTUALLY DID GET PUBLISHED


    Not worth reading
    Sir George Compton Arhibald Arthur, 1914.

    (I assume it's a book about books not worth reading!)

    1587: A year of no significance
    Ray Huang, 1981.


    I think my favourites are the How to Abandon ship and Your answer to invasion: Ju-jitsu.

    What books do you think woudn't get a publisher in 2006? I think-

    Polonium and it's uses
    V. Putin, 2006

    Byzantine History and it's relevence to Christian/Moslem understanding

    Pope Benedict, 2006
    Last edited by Markas; November 28, 2006 at 04:25 PM. Reason: Spelling etc
    'When people stop believing in God, they donít believe in nothing ó they believe in anything. '

    -Emile Cammaerts' book The Laughing Prophets (1937)

    Under the patronage of Nihil. So there.

  2. #2
    Darkragnar's Avatar Member of Ordo Malleus
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    India
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    Default Re: Books that never got published...

    LANGUAGES

    An Irishmans' difficulties with the Dutch language
    Rev. John Irwin Brown, 1908.

    Laundry Lists with detachable counter-checks in French, spanish, Portuguese, German, Italian, including vocabularies and neccessary phrases and phonetic spelling. Bloody Brilliant Title, must be Einstein's Idea
    W J Hernan, 1909.

    NATURE

    Swine judging for beginners
    Joel simmons coffey, 1915.

    Rats for those who care
    Susan Fox, 1995.

    The urine dance of the Zuni Indians of New Mexico
    Captain John G Bourke, 1885.

    HEALTH


    Memoirs of an amnesiac :hmmm:
    Oscar Levant, 1965.

    SEX AND MARRAIGE

    How to pick up women in Discos
    Don Diebal, 1981.



    SPORT

    By his own hand: A study of Cricket's suicides
    David Frith, 1991.

    LEISURE


    Suggestive handwork for lower classes ^Look at the Category its in ^
    Arthur B Neal, 1874.

    FOOD AND DRINK

    Why not eat insects? Yes Why NOT ??? :hmmm:
    Vincent M Holt, 1885.

    The Thermodynamics of pizza
    Harold J Morowitz, 1991.

    WAR AND CONFLICT

    Nuclear war: What's in it for you?
    Ground zero war pub., 1982.

    Your answer to invasion- Ju-Jitsu
    James Hipkiss, 1941.

    Thrilling experiences of the first British woman relieved by Lord Roberts
    J.R. 1900.

    How to Abandon Ship Im Sure Its a Must For all Aspiring Captains
    P.Richards, J. Banigan, 1933.[B]
    Last edited by Darkragnar; November 28, 2006 at 01:06 PM.
    Member of the House of Marenostrum
    They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say ****, it's raining!

  3. #3
    Evariste's Avatar We are one, we are many
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    Jul 2005
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    (North) America
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    2,822

    Default Re: Books that never got published...

    A conversation this interesting belongs over at the Arts forum!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Books that never got published...

    Truncheons: Their Romance and Reality

    LOL OMG maybe the best title I've ever seen...


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