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Thread: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

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    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    This is an honest question, you guys. So, what would you do in this hypothetical situation? If you were allowed to bring items with you from present times, what would they be? Honestly, you'd need to bring some heavy duty firepower to make a lasting first impression. Plus some gadgets that do cool stuff. Flash lights and laser pens can only go so far in quelling the medieval mind and making him think you are all powerful. Perhaps importing an entire laser light show to cow the peasants into believing you are an all powerful wizard? That might backfire, though, as a mob may be able to overpower you, even with an assault rifle in hand, and have you burned at the stake for witchcraft and all that jazz.

    I would definitely bring the following (with some sort of electric generator for items requiring electric power, plus rechargeable batteries):

    * A megaphone; no boisterous medieval herald trumpeting your arrival could ever hope to match your voice now! He'll have to find a new job, or be the one to man the megaphone for you.
    * AR-15 or AK-47, although I'd prefer the former, because I'm Murican.
    * A laptop computer with tons of DVDs and interactive software to dazzle the primitives.
    * Huge speakers with woofers, surround sound stereo with huge big screen TV, recording devices, smart phones, etc.
    * A miniature robotic dancer; gotta have this to keep their little minds occupied and distracted while I establish my rule.
    * Modern conveniences like freezers, espesso and cappuccino makers, ice cream makers, a microwave, stuff like that.
    * Flamethrower
    * A jetpack for hovering and flying effortlessly above the masses
    * Perhaps I should arrive in a large helicopter so I can bring all this stuff in the first place

    Give me your suggestions!

  2. #2

    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Hm...how much stuff could I bring with me? If I'm not limited to small gadgets and weapons I'd bring a medical lab with modern equipment and medicine. I could provide cures for then-lethal diseases that today are totally harmless and would probably get a high position in a king's court or something.
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    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by beckyolt View Post
    Hm...how much stuff could I bring with me? If I'm not limited to small gadgets and weapons I'd bring a medical lab with modern equipment and medicine. I could provide cures for then-lethal diseases that today are totally harmless and would probably get a high position in a king's court or something.
    Good answer! Yeah, I'm not going to limit you on the amount of stuff you could bring. My hypothetical example included only what I could fit onto a single helicopter, but theoretically you could fly into the Middle Ages on a Boeing 747-8 with a huge cargo hold full of stuff you want to bring.

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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    I have repped you just for the title of the thread
    Any help before presenting a proposal publicly for a more simple and open curia will be rewarded with the sacrifice of a kitten. (link to the TWC group).

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    ccllnply's Avatar Tribunus
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by mishkin View Post
    I have repped you just for the title of the thread
    Yeah, surely this is a contender for TWC's longest title ever?


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    Comrade_Rory's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?



    This is what I'd do.

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    Ybbon's Avatar The Way of the Buffalo
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Just wondering how impressive all your gadgets that work on electricity are going to be when you have no mains power to recharge them? Have another helicopter full of batteries?

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    Adar's Avatar Just doing it
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    I think it would be highly dangerous to underestimate the ability of the medieval people to learn and adapt. Therefore I would bring a Bessemer converter and a blueprint for a steam engine to make myself useful...


    And a PSG90 sniper rifle in case they aren't terribly impressed by my attempt to jump start the industrial revolution.

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    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Comrade_Rory View Post


    This is what I'd do.
    In their minds that would be something akin to turning water into wine. They'd equate you with the messiah himself! Either that or call you the anti-Christ and have you burned at the stake. It's a 50 50 chance there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ybbon View Post
    Just wondering how impressive all your gadgets that work on electricity are going to be when you have no mains power to recharge them? Have another helicopter full of batteries?
    Naturally. Or, you know, begin the painful process of building from the bottom up a power plant and industrial workhouse where such goods can be produced from scratch and raw materials. Yikes.

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    Adar's Avatar Just doing it
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Just realised that I got something that could impress you as well.

    The novel 1632 which is written by historian Erik Flint about a small American village being transported through space and time to the 30 years war.

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    Magister Militum Flavius Aetius's Avatar Aetī Avēas!
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    A TARDIS and a Sonic Screwdriver.

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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    AIDS

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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    I'd bring one of them electric bread slicers so that when I slice my bread its already nice and toasty.

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    Aru's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    To impress the natives into believeing you're a wizard or something all you'd need is something which makes light and something which makes sound. The stuff they have at concerts. Nothing fancy, don't need Pink Floyd quality, your local pumpkin festival stuff would do. You can find solar powered batteries to make it work and bring a manual to fix it all and some spare parts. You'd be set to make magic for a few years at least. Use some imagination, hide the tech in the bush so it's not obviously technology. People were ignorant but not stupid, they would eventually realize all you have is devices anyone can learn to use, unless you trick them into thinking it's supernatural.

    Of course, if you do that, you're bound to have church around your neck.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adar View Post
    Therefore I would bring a Bessemer converter and a blueprint for a steam engine to make myself useful...
    Few problems:
    You wouldn't have enough raw meterials to make iron, nor coal to fuel the steam engine. Mining was primitive and fulfilled a rather low demand (due to everything being hand crafted).
    Say you build a more modern iron and coal mine, with tracks, trains and steam water pumps, to fulfill your needs for resources. What would you do with all the iron you produce? Demand was low due to, as I said, small manufacturies and forges where everything was hand made and slowly made. Your iron would be much cheaper than competition, but you can only sell so much, certainly not enough to pay out the huge investment, and you can distribute it over limited area due to primitive way of transport. Being near a navigable river or sea coast would help, but not too much. Sending a ship filled with cheap iron on a weeks long journey would still cost too much, raise the price of your iron too much, the people at the destination port would still find it cheaper to buy locally mined iron. There is a reason why long trade routes carried exclusively luxury resources and stuff, and iron wasn't luxury for thousands of years in medieval period Europe.

    The problem of distribution remains whatever you build. Modernish factory of whatever with assembly line, modern farming techniques, doesn't matter. You'd be able to serve only limited local region and you'd probably end up with either huge production surplus or ridiculously low prices of your goods.

    There is of course a matter of pissing off all other local producers/guilds who'd gang up on you and a matter of people wanting your machinery for themselves. Your rifle would protect you for a few days at most. From what, 14th century or so in Europe, it would be recognised as very advanced hand cannon straight away, and before that it would shock people for a few days at most before they'd figure out how much damage it does, how often you reload and what it can't penetrate.

    The best bet for a good living in medieval times would be actually to keep a low profile. Show up somewhere you know there is some luxury resource, gold, silver or something, which is easy to mine but still not discovered in that period. Bring something you can use to buy that land and set up mining operation using mostly medieval tech. You don't want to produce too much or be noticed for anything odd. You would live quite comfortably.

    In fact, agriculture is even better bet. Simply modern agricultural techniques will let you outproduce anyone with less work than they do. You'd get comfortably rich quickly. If you really want to be seen as blessed/wizard/holy man just bring modern seeds. When they see those huge vegetables they'll be convinced you're blessed by God and as long as you don't claim to be a messiah even church should let you be.
    Last edited by Aru; August 25, 2015 at 10:05 PM.
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    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aru View Post
    To impress the natives into believeing you're a wizard or something all you'd need is something which makes light and something which makes sound. The stuff they have at concerts. Nothing fancy, don't need Pink Floyd quality, your local pumpkin festival stuff would do. You can find solar powered batteries to make it work and bring a manual to fix it all and some spare parts. You'd be set to make magic for a few years at least. Use some imagination, hide the tech in the bush so it's not obviously technology. People were ignorant but not stupid, they would eventually realize all you have is devices anyone can learn to use, unless you trick them into thinking it's supernatural.

    Of course, if you do that, you're bound to have church around your neck.



    Few problems:
    You wouldn't have enough raw meterials to make iron, nor coal to fuel the steam engine. Mining was primitive and fulfilled a rather low demand (due to everything being hand crafted).
    Say you build a more modern iron and coal mine, with tracks, trains and steam water pumps, to fulfill your needs for resources. What would you do with all the iron you produce? Demand was low due to, as I said, small manufacturies and forges where everything was hand made and slowly made. Your iron would be much cheaper than competition, but you can only sell so much, certainly not enough to pay out the huge investment, and you can distribute it over limited area due to primitive way of transport. Being near a navigable river or sea coast would help, but not too much. Sending a ship filled with cheap iron on a weeks long journey would still cost too much, raise the price of your iron too much, the people at the destination port would still find it cheaper to buy locally mined iron. There is a reason why long trade routes carried exclusively luxury resources and stuff, and iron wasn't luxury for thousands of years in medieval period Europe.

    The problem of distribution remains whatever you build. Modernish factory of whatever with assembly line, modern farming techniques, doesn't matter. You'd be able to serve only limited local region and you'd probably end up with either huge production surplus or ridiculously low prices of your goods.

    There is of course a matter of pissing off all other local producers/guilds who'd gang up on you and a matter of people wanting your machinery for themselves. Your rifle would protect you for a few days at most. From what, 14th century or so in Europe, it would be recognised as very advanced hand cannon straight away, and before that it would shock people for a few days at most before they'd figure out how much damage it does, how often you reload and what it can't penetrate.

    The best bet for a good living in medieval times would be actually to keep a low profile. Show up somewhere you know there is some luxury resource, gold, silver or something, which is easy to mine but still not discovered in that period. Bring something you can use to buy that land and set up mining operation using mostly medieval tech. You don't want to produce too much or be noticed for anything odd. You would live quite comfortably.

    In fact, agriculture is even better bet. Simply modern agricultural techniques will let you outproduce anyone with less work than they do. You'd get comfortably rich quickly. If you really want to be seen as blessed/wizard/holy man just bring modern seeds. When they see those huge vegetables they'll be convinced you're blessed by God and as long as you don't claim to be a messiah even church should let you be.
    Goddamn, dude. Here, take my rep! Take all of it! Would others also please rep Aru? Christ sake, man, you really wrapped your head around this. In what other unique areas do you excel at problem-solving?

    Taking your ideas, I think the best way to do this would be to bring a whole team with you back into Medieval times, preferably a host of engineers and US Navy Seals / Delta Force teams for elite security. You could build a modern-style military base with reinforced concrete walls around your mining operations. Then you could pillage the countryside and demand regular economic tribute from kings and the pope himself or else face the wrath of aerial assaults, mobilized ground combat with overwhelming firepower using tanks and heavy guns mounted on jeeps or pickup trucks, and of course heavy artillery and MANPAD rocket launchers. No need to conquer everything, just work from one or two bases.

    The only limitations, however, would be that when you arrived, like I said above, you could only bring enough stuff that could fit into one commercial jet airliner or cargo aircraft.

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    Ybbon's Avatar The Way of the Buffalo
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    .....

    The only limitations, however, would be that when you arrived, like I said above, you could only bring enough stuff that could fit into one commercial jet airliner or cargo aircraft.
    Right. Remind me, where are you landing this aircraft again?

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    Aru's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    You can parachute it.
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aru View Post
    Few problems:
    You wouldn't have enough raw meterials to make iron, nor coal to fuel the steam engine. Mining was primitive and fulfilled a rather low demand (due to everything being hand crafted).
    Say you build a more modern iron and coal mine, with tracks, trains and steam water pumps, to fulfill your needs for resources. What would you do with all the iron you produce? Demand was low due to, as I said, small manufacturies and forges where everything was hand made and slowly made. Your iron would be much cheaper than competition, but you can only sell so much, certainly not enough to pay out the huge investment, and you can distribute it over limited area due to primitive way of transport. Being near a navigable river or sea coast would help, but not too much. Sending a ship filled with cheap iron on a weeks long journey would still cost too much, raise the price of your iron too much, the people at the destination port would still find it cheaper to buy locally mined iron. There is a reason why long trade routes carried exclusively luxury resources and stuff, and iron wasn't luxury for thousands of years in medieval period Europe.

    The problem of distribution remains whatever you build. Modernish factory of whatever with assembly line, modern farming techniques, doesn't matter. You'd be able to serve only limited local region and you'd probably end up with either huge production surplus or ridiculously low prices of your goods.

    There is of course a matter of pissing off all other local producers/guilds who'd gang up on you and a matter of people wanting your machinery for themselves. Your rifle would protect you for a few days at most. From what, 14th century or so in Europe, it would be recognised as very advanced hand cannon straight away, and before that it would shock people for a few days at most before they'd figure out how much damage it does, how often you reload and what it can't penetrate.

    The best bet for a good living in medieval times would be actually to keep a low profile. Show up somewhere you know there is some luxury resource, gold, silver or something, which is easy to mine but still not discovered in that period. Bring something you can use to buy that land and set up mining operation using mostly medieval tech. You don't want to produce too much or be noticed for anything odd. You would live quite comfortably.

    In fact, agriculture is even better bet. Simply modern agricultural techniques will let you outproduce anyone with less work than they do. You'd get comfortably rich quickly. If you really want to be seen as blessed/wizard/holy man just bring modern seeds. When they see those huge vegetables they'll be convinced you're blessed by God and as long as you don't claim to be a messiah even church should let you be.
    The usage of iron was regulated by supply rather than demand and the major value of the Bessemer process is that it is easy to control the coal content of the iron which makes it easy to mass produce high quality steel.

    High quality steel is a major advantage for both military purposes and rapid development of the industry so owning a Bessemer converter would be of huge economic value to any king at the period. The sniper rifle was a slightly sarcastic comment as Roma was so focused on military stuff.

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    Settra's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ybbon View Post
    Right. Remind me, where are you landing this aircraft again?
    Plenty of flat open fields everywhere, and if you land in the winter when the ground is frozen even better.
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    Aru's Avatar Protector Domesticus
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    Default Re: If you got transported back to medieval times, what kind of alpha male stuff and futuristic stunts would you pull to make the primitives fear and respect you?

    High quality steel on it's own is no advantage in medieval setting. It just makes weapons and tools last slightly longer, being slightly lighter and in general increase productivity only barely. What you'd lack is to give people centuries of evolution in ways of use and design of weapons and tools that accompanied advances in metal processing. High quality steel doesn't on it's own teach people how to incorporate it in armor designs efficiently, doesn't teach peasant how to farm more efficiently and doesn't teach an architect to stop saving on metal materials in designing buildings. Can you change a mindset of a nation on your own?

    Let's imagine that you can offer to some king to give him high quality weapons and armor for 10 000 soldiers in a matter of months. Which you can't because armor was custom made and with some exceptions, each individual hd his own weapon of choice, custom made if he can afford it. All of which needs to be hand made. But let's imagine youcan do it. Medieval king would probably accept a gift of 10 000 weapons and armor as it was immense treasure, but as for equipping an army he would say let them eqip themselves, it is duty and obligation of vassal to equip himself, not of a lord (except for retinues). How many manufacturers would give up on secrets of trade passed down from master to an apprentice just because you tell him the other way is more efficient? Many would, but then they would be considered an unfair competition by those who wouldn't. There would be conflict and controversy and it would take a generation before new manufacturing materials and techniques are widely adopted and effectively give an advantage over the old ways.

    WW1 is wonderful example of generals sticking to old ways despite all the modern tools of war. Which also leads to the fact that you'd need a good leader, organiser and generally good general to effectively use what you can give him.

    Then you mention development of industry. What would be produced? The average medieval consumer was self sustaining peasant who couldn't afford anything. The only consumers would be a tiny urban medieval version of middle class.
    And I still stand by the economic disaster it would be. Though, thinking about urban middle class, I think there is a slight chance of success in late medieval north Italy.

    Now if you came with few hundred men armed with modern weapons, overthrew the king, took control of a kingdom and forced your changes and innovations on a gunpoint, then fought off the inevitable crusades, then you can definitely pull it off.
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