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Thread: The thread for horrible suggestions

  1. #101
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    The Father (Rad), the Son (Grimmy), and the Holy Spirit (Roma_Victrix), amen.

    You know what this game could use? Those Apocalyptic biker gangs from the Mad Max series. That should spice things up a bit.
    Oh! So you wanna spice things up, huh?

    Then how about Sand Worms!!??!!

  2. #102
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Sandworms? Why stop there, with your half-measures. Why not go all the way, and also have Beetlejuice as the leader of his own faction?

    That's assuming you're talking about the Sandworms from Beetlejuice, and not the Dune series by Frank Herbert.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    Somewhere, a history nut is biting his nails in fear that the team might actually listen to some of the stuff that gets posted here.

    Yeah, it won't even be a submod, it will be incorporated into the official v. 2.2 release!

  3. #103
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    Sandworms? Why stop there, with your half-measures. Why not go all the way, and also have Beetlejuice as the leader of his own faction?

    That's assuming you're talking about the Sandworms from Beetlejuice, and not the Dune series by Frank Herbert.



    Yeah, it won't even be a submod, it will be incorporated into the official v. 2.2 release!
    Good. Then my next "suggestion" won't seem so far off the mark.

    Nephilim.

    I'm talking Gilgamesh, Nimrod, the whole lot of em.

    Sure, the dates are a bit off for em, but they're Neph. If they knew there was gonna be a humongo mod called EB2 based on the Roman era, they'd have stuck around so's they could be in it too.

  4. #104
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I finally figured it out. I'm super serial, like Manbearpig about this!

    What we need is, instead of recruitment zones for mercs, we need rifts! Rifts that open up into random alternate universes to recruit from!!!

    And, speaking of Manbearpig...

  5. #105
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    I finally figured it out. I'm super serial, like Manbearpig about this!

    What we need is, instead of recruitment zones for mercs, we need rifts! Rifts that open up into random alternate universes to recruit from!!!

    And, speaking of Manbearpig...
    OMG! You've opened the rift into the alternate dimension too widely, Grimm! You've unleashed horrible forces unto this world! Far worse than Al Gore could have ever imagined with Manbearpig. ...Here! Grab the sacred amulet and bring it to the Banana King! Before the Darkness wins for a thousand years, destroys EB II and eviscerates all their team members with sentient chainsaws, and unicorn cavalry tramples everything beneath their hooves.


  6. #106
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Now, everyone's gonna laugh but this would be a nifty have...

    Burning pigs.

    Can you imagine that? Just the squeals alone would turn a man's spine to jelly.

    I wonder why no one's ever thought of burning pigs before.

  7. #107

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I thought I saw everything the Internet had to offer. I guess I was wrong.

  8. #108
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    OMG! You've opened the rift into the alternate dimension too widely, Grimm! You've unleashed horrible forces unto this world! Far worse than Al Gore could have ever imagined with Manbearpig. ...Here! Grab the sacred amulet and bring it to the Banana King! Before the Darkness wins for a thousand years, destroys EB II and eviscerates all their team members with sentient chainsaws, and unicorn cavalry tramples everything beneath their hooves.

    http://www.sciencealert.com/a-fossil...lived-on-earth

    Cav mounted on them unikorns would be rather badass.

  9. #109
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    http://www.sciencealert.com/a-fossil...lived-on-earth

    Cav mounted on them unikorns would be rather badass.
    Hell yeah! I read about this recently on Reddit. That would be so badass if they were turned into cavalry. MAKE IT HAPPEN, EB II. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

    To be honest, I'd like to see King Louis XVI of France time travel into the EB II time frame as a gifted assassin and marksman (he seems to have gotten lots of target practice with those filthy unwashed peasants):



    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    Now, everyone's gonna laugh but this would be a nifty have...

    Burning pigs.

    Can you imagine that? Just the squeals alone would turn a man's spine to jelly.

    I wonder why no one's ever thought of burning pigs before.
    I can't for the life of me remember or even imagine what sort of electronic video game that would be on your what-you-ma-call-it computing contraption.

    Certainly nothing from the Total War Series rings a bell.

    Anywho, so I recently started playing the vanilla RTW, and I forgot how well researched and realistic all the various units were!

  10. #110

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Vanilla RTW seems pathetic now (not because of graphics, but because of units) but I remember how I was mesmerized by it back in 2008.

  11. #111
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    "War of the Ancient Worlds"



    Survive for many terrible weeks, when the neighbours chose to visit - now with general battle speeches by Orson Welles in v2.2!
    Hope you have many siege enegines at hand! They won't really help you. But it will look fun when they dent the tripod hulls.
    Zap! See your decadent legions or filthy barbarians turn into walking tourches as they become acquainted with the Heat-Ray™, because all that the Marsian Supreme Commander request is to have machines with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
    Unless all your population been turned to fertilization for the red fields within the time limit, you can enjoy to see your enemies suddenly die, because the scum can't handle a simple cold. Hahaha! Naturally, it won't be a simple cold, but some kind of plauge that will rage across the world and clean up most who the marsian missed, but, ehm, thank you Mother Nature....?


    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy
    Burning pigs.
    Seen many suggest burning pigs. Antigonus II Gonatas wants to have a word with you.
    Last edited by Ngugi; March 29, 2016 at 04:06 PM.

    Galadriel preview is out now





    DCI: Last Alliance
    - WIP Second Age mod
    | DCI: T˘l Acharn - mighty D˙nedain Counter Invasions |
    Additional Mercenary Minimod - more mercs; for TATW and DCI | Family Tree minimods - lore improvements | Remade Event Pictures - enhance cultures trough images |
    Favorite TATW compilation: Withwnars Submod Collection
    Patron of Mank, Kiliš Alý, FireFreak111, MIKEGOLF & Arachir Galudirithon, Earl of Memory

  12. #112
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Ngugi View Post
    "War of the Ancient Worlds"



    Survive for many terrible weeks, when the neighbours chose to visit - now with general battle speeches by Orson Welles in v2.2!
    Hope you have many siege enegines at hand! They won't really help you. But it will look fun when they dent the tripod hulls.
    Zap! See your decadent legions or filthy barbarians turn into walking tourches as they become acquainted with the Heat-Ray™, because all that the Marsian Supreme Commander request is to have machines with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
    Unless all your population been turned to fertilization for the red fields within the time limit, you can enjoy to see your enemies suddenly die, because the scum can't handle a simple cold. Hahaha! Naturally, it won't be a simple cold, but some kind of plauge that will rage across the world and clean up most who the marsian missed, but, ehm, thank you Mother Nature....?



    Seen many suggest burning pigs. Antigonus II Gonatas wants to have a word with you.
    They were certainly used several times in history by both Greeks and Romans to frighten enemy elephants and cause them to panic and trample their own men. However, RTW made it seem like the flaming pigs were regularly recruited units of the Roman army, as standard as the supporting auxiliaries for the citizen legions, and that they could be useful when deployed against regular troops...and not just elephants. As the video I showed above also demonstrated, those elephants didn't get scared at all. They just kicked the flaming pigs around like soccer balls, flinging them 50 ft (however many meters) into the air.

  13. #113
    Ngugi's Avatar TATW Local Moderator
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Ngugi View Post
    Antigonus II Gonatas wants to have a word with you.
    This was meant as a joke

    Galadriel preview is out now





    DCI: Last Alliance
    - WIP Second Age mod
    | DCI: T˘l Acharn - mighty D˙nedain Counter Invasions |
    Additional Mercenary Minimod - more mercs; for TATW and DCI | Family Tree minimods - lore improvements | Remade Event Pictures - enhance cultures trough images |
    Favorite TATW compilation: Withwnars Submod Collection
    Patron of Mank, Kiliš Alý, FireFreak111, MIKEGOLF & Arachir Galudirithon, Earl of Memory

  14. #114
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Ngugi View Post
    This was meant as a joke
    Jokes! I know a joke...

    There's this guy sitting at a bar crying into his beer.
    The bartender asks: "what's wrong? You don't look so happy".
    The guy answers: "You build a 100 homes for families to live in, and when you walk down the street, do the people say 'hey! there goes McGregor, the home builder!' no, they don't."
    "You go into a burning building and save a bunch of children, and when you walk down the street to the people say 'hey! there goes McGregor the hero!' no. they don't".
    "But you shag the sheep one time...."

    Which reminds me.

    EB2 needs sheep units. Sheep with razor wire wool, battering ram horns and steel scythes for hooves!

  15. #115
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I think EB II should incorporate a unit of Erdogan Gollums who wield throwing axes and daggers as secondary weapons.



    Also, the new Spartan units should look exactly like they do in 300, and every time you click on them we should hear the voice of Leonidas in a thick Scottish accent explaining the profession of regular Spartans and how they share their culture with the Persians.

  16. #116

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    I think EB II should incorporate a unit of Erdogan Gollums who wield throwing axes and daggers as secondary weapons.



    Also, the new Spartan units should look exactly like they do in 300, and every time you click on them we should hear the voice of Leonidas in a thick Scottish accent explaining the profession of regular Spartans and how they share their culture with the Persians.
    And shouting please, dont forget he always has to be shouting.


    We will either find a way, or make one.

  17. #117

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    An unsettling pair of suggestions for Turks and historians. Lethal for Turkish historians

  18. #118

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    What about zombies?

    Think about it, they'd be awesome. Give them 3 hitpoints, low attack, low defense and enjoy.

  19. #119

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Great Bulgarian Catholic Orthodox Electric Boogaloo Empire

    Replaces Macdonia in game.

    Units:

    Full plate Knights (Bular Knights > all)
    Laser Shooting horse archers (Bulgar horse archers> all)
    Spearmen (Bulgar spearmen > all)
    Hunnic MG42 horsemen (Hungarians are Huns)
    Byzantine mounted flamethrowers (Bulgarian invention)

    Perks:

    Protector of great Europe: +10 morale when in battle versus nomad, Persians, and Arabs.
    United states of Slavs: Ability to annex all of Eastern Europe
    Remover of Kebab: +5 piety to all FMs, and ability to call crusades on the heathens. Ave Maria, Deus Vult.

  20. #120
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    What about zombies?

    Think about it, they'd be awesome. Give them 3 hitpoints, low attack, low defense and enjoy.
    Alternatively, you could just go all out and add Game of Thrones/ASOIF's White Walkers as an entire faction, complete with undead White Walker cavalry and various units of expendable zombie wight infantry. If you capture certain settlements in Gaul and Germania as the White Walkers you should be able to unlock a bonus cavalry unit as well: LOTR dwarven lancers riding giant hogs and wielding throwing axes as secondary weapons.



    THE WHITE WALKERS ARE COMING! THE HYPE IS REAL! GET HYPE!

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