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Thread: The thread for horrible suggestions

  1. #21

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post


    In terms of American politicians, I've got something even better.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 




    Please, God no. Next thing you know, my country will be bombed... again.

    Selfie sticks: O tempora, o mores!
    -40% movement points, -5 to popularity, -10 to hitpoints, +100 likes from horny old Romans on Faciem Libro.
    Last edited by Rad; August 14, 2015 at 08:13 AM.

  2. #22
    +Marius+'s Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    The entirety of the Gladiator dialogue should be implemented in game.

    Diplomacy fails: "They say no."
    Battle victory: "Are you not entertained?"
    When ceasefire is declared: "Sheath Your Swords!"

    ...and so on.

  3. #23
    delra's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    The quote from Gladiator that best describes EB2 is "there's noone left to fight", past turn 400. :-D

  4. #24
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Marius Marich View Post
    The entirety of the Gladiator dialogue should be implemented in game.

    Diplomacy fails: "They say no."
    Battle victory: "Are you not entertained?"
    When ceasefire is declared: "Sheath Your Swords!"

    ...and so on.
    That's actually a good one. To those you could add "I'm terribly vexed" every time one of your cities comes under siege. Or even better, someone shouts "Maximus the merciful!" every time you release prisoners. Or, whenever you target someone for assassination, Senator Falco chimes in: "He is defying you. His every victory is an act of defiance. The mob sees this, and so does the senate. Every day he lives, they grow bolder. Kill him."

    Quote Originally Posted by Sar1n View Post
    Temples allowing you spcial powers by praying. For example, temples of Zeus would allow calling down lightning strikes...
    How much damage would one lightning strike cause? Are we talking about population reduction on the strat map for cities or actual shots of lightning coming down from the sky on the battle map to zap and burn entire units of enemy troops?

  5. #25

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    A new unit which is armed with mutton legs and fights with them, and occasionally take a bite from them as their idle animation, with a special ability to take a dump on the battlefield to use as the ancient equivalent to sharpened stakes

  6. #26
    General Maximus's Avatar Vicarius Provinciae
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Bring back the Arcani from RTW:







    'nuff said!
    सार्वभौम सम्राट चत्रवर्ती - भारतवर्ष
    स्वर्गपुत्र पीतसम्राट - चीन
    महाराजानाभ्याम महाराजा - पारसिक

  7. #27
    delra's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Yea. Those dumb unhistorical units of RTW. Like those naked fanatics of the Gaul factions, who'd fight with their dicks out (literally if you chose that version) and still remain as invulnerable as fully clad in armor elites. Oh wait, EB1 for some reason had them too. :-D

    I am making fun here, but really it's a balancing problem if we have such a short gap in defence stats between units with rags+shield and units with chainmail+shield that it's almost indiscernable when they fight one another.

    In SS you'd have gaps of good 10 points between militia and elites. Militia would be crap for most combat uses but very common while elites would be truly elite, you'd have to accumulate them over a long time and their loss was most hurtful. EB2 needs that sort of rebalancing that shows unit classes more clearly.
    Last edited by delra; August 14, 2015 at 04:17 PM.

  8. #28

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by delra View Post
    Yea. Those dumb unhistorical units of RTW. Like those naked fanatics of the Gaul factions, who'd fight with their dicks out (literally if you chose that version) and still remain as invulnerable as fully clad in armor elites. Oh wait, EB1 for some reason had them too. :-D

    And they were awesome for clearing/holding bridges. No one wants to be in a choke point with an angry naked dude xD

    I am making fun here, but really it's a balancing problem if we have such a short gap in defence stats between units with rags+shield and units with chainmail+shield that it's almost indiscernable when they fight one another.

    Agreed.

  9. #29

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    How much damage would one lightning strike cause? Are we talking about population reduction on the strat map for cities or actual shots of lightning coming down from the sky on the battle map to zap and burn entire units of enemy troops?
    Possibly both. A small temple would just allow occassional strike on the battlefield, frying a few troops. But highest level would allow sending a thunderstorm on enemy city, setting it ablaze, killing people and burning down buildings.

  10. #30
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    I am making fun here, but really it's a balancing problem if we have such a short gap in defence stats between units with rags+shield and units with chainmail+shield that it's almost indiscernable when they fight one another.

    In SS you'd have gaps of good 10 points between militia and elites. Militia would be crap for most combat uses but very common while elites would be truly elite, you'd have to accumulate them over a long time and their loss was most hurtful. EB2 needs that sort of rebalancing that shows unit classes more clearly.
    Well the "naked fanatics" are elites...just without armor.And in Eb2 you do notice the difference they are taken out much faster by ranged weapons and have noticable less defense because they have no armour.The problem in EB1 was that they had 2 hitpoints.

    And losing elites in SS hurtful?I mean unless I played with BGR ,I could pump out elite knight stacks in late game and even early game depending on the faction.The only faction that I found had that feeling was ERE because you had one unit Scholarii and could only retrain and not train new units up to a certain date.That and the elites are only trainable in Constantinopel.
    Last edited by Sint; August 14, 2015 at 11:48 PM.
    Elder Scrolls Online :Messing up the Lore since 2007...

    Well overhand or underhand: 3:50 Onwards...

  11. #31
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by General Maximus View Post
    Bring back the Arcani from RTW:







    'nuff said!
    Ah yes, the hooded Roman ninja elite who practiced the code of bushido.

    Quote Originally Posted by delra View Post
    Yea. Those dumb unhistorical units of RTW. Like those naked fanatics of the Gaul factions, who'd fight with their dicks out (literally if you chose that version) and still remain as invulnerable as fully clad in armor elites. Oh wait, EB1 for some reason had them too. :-D

    I am making fun here, but really it's a balancing problem if we have such a short gap in defence stats between units with rags+shield and units with chainmail+shield that it's almost indiscernable when they fight one another.

    In SS you'd have gaps of good 10 points between militia and elites. Militia would be crap for most combat uses but very common while elites would be truly elite, you'd have to accumulate them over a long time and their loss was most hurtful. EB2 needs that sort of rebalancing that shows unit classes more clearly.
    To be honest, those naked Celts should have some defense skill (perhaps a shield bonus if they're carrying one) but obviously no armor advantage beyond a helmet, which some of them wear. They should be used mainly for their abilities of shock attack and breaking up enemy lines, not holding a defensive line like standard heavy troops.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sar1n View Post
    Possibly both. A small temple would just allow occassional strike on the battlefield, frying a few troops. But highest level would allow sending a thunderstorm on enemy city, setting it ablaze, killing people and burning down buildings.
    Nice. There should be some pop up message where you accept the handing over of a ritual offering at a built temple of an amount of cash or denarii to the gods. In the next turn, this will encourage Zeus/Jupiter or Poseidon/Neptune to trash enemy settlements and damage buildings that they have to then repair. Alternatively, there should be a 0.05% chance that some of that wrathful storm will blow back onto one of your settlements too! Mother nature can be such a sometimes.

  12. #32

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post

    Nice. There should be some pop up message where you accept the handing over of a ritual offering at a built temple of an amount of cash or denarii to the gods. In the next turn, this will encourage Zeus/Jupiter or Poseidon/Neptune to trash enemy settlements and damage buildings that they have to then repair. Alternatively, there should be a 0.05% chance that some of that wrathful storm will blow back onto one of your settlements too! Mother nature can be such a sometimes.
    Good idea. Can whe also give Carthage a Temple of Kronos where the can sacrifice little children. I should give them some evil bonus.

  13. #33

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Screeching women unit, just to remind the married players of home.

  14. #34
    delra's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Heh. At least there was some thin historical basis for flaming pigs or screeching women, or even the arcani.

    But you're all forgetting how Spaniards had Bull Warriors. ;-D

  15. #35
    Abdülmecid I's Avatar ¡Ay Carmela!
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Historical accuracy is boring and inappropriate for a video-game. Bring back historical authenticity! Also, please add a new settlement in Belarus, called Domus Dulcis Domus:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

  16. #36
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    Screeching women unit, just to remind the married players of home.
    Nice one. I've got something better, though, and I think words need not be said considering how these pictorial representations are worth a thousand words each and demonstrate better than any rhetorical speech I could deliver on the dire needs of EB II and its lack of present-day anti-aircraft guns and medieval tanks with cannons.









    Oh EB II, the possibilities! Will your team not consider these fine additions to each and every faction's roster?

  17. #37

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Why not at Space Marines in Power Armour while we're at it.

  18. #38
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    Why not at Space Marines in Power Armour while we're at it.
    EB II team: "Done and done."

    Speaking of space marines, I can't wait for militia hoplites or Roman legionaries to have StarCraft style voice commands like "you want a piece of me boy?"


  19. #39

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Grab your sword and fight the Horde!

  20. #40

    Default Re: The thread for horrible suggestions

    Add Two Steps from Hell music - oh wait, that wouldn't be so bad actually...

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