Natsuko’s Gift
Natsuko realised that it was happening at last. Her child was being born! Anticipation and excitement ran through her … and fear. Would she be able to cope with the pain? What would this mean for her Gift?
Natsuko had known since childhood that she was one of the Gifted. Her Gift was a subtle one, the Gift of Perfect Memory. She could return to any moment in her past in her mind. She could see that past moment as a beautiful, delicate vision. Her teachers in the Temple of the North Wind in Kyoto had warned her about the seductive dangers of her gift. There was always the temptation to return to moments of joy, peace and serenity.
In an instant, she could return to the experience of walking past the cliff where the images of the Gifted heroes of the past had been carved. She could remember looking up at the calm, stone faces with reverence and awe. Whenever she felt afraid, under pressure or in danger, Natsuko felt the temptation to leave the present moment behind and turn inward, to escape into happy memories.
Sometimes memories appeared without Natsuko looking for them. A particular smell or an emotion could suddenly trigger a powerful memory. On the day when she had moved to a new town, she had been struck by the memory of her first day as a new student, being introduced in front of all of the other students. She remembered feeling awkward, feeling conscious of the eyes of all of the other people looking at her, looking but seeing no-one she knew. She had closed her eyes, in that moment, to hide in her memories. Finding sanctuary in images from the past was a hard habit to break. She remembered one of her teachers in the Temple, Tomohiro, a kindly old monk, giving her a proverb to reflect upon: 案ずるより産むが易し。Anzuru yori umu ga yasush: Giving birth to a baby is easier than worrying about it.
“What does this saying mean?” The monk had asked her.
“It means that fear is greater than danger,” Natsuko had replied.
The kindly old monk smiled, “You are correct. Fear can paralyse us. This can prevent us from responding wisely when danger threatens. Remember: summon your will! Focus your awareness on the present moment! This will keep you from retreating into your memories and enable you to respond, when danger appears.”
Now, as she felt her baby move, ready to be born, Natsuko felt afraid. The proverb had seemed so encouraging, so wise, until now, when she actually was giving birth to a baby! Now, childbirth did not seem easy at all! As the pain grew stronger and stronger, she felt the temptation to escape into her memories more than ever.
Natsuko remembered another conversation with the kindly old monk, Tomohiro. He had said, “Natsuko, your name means 'child of summer'. When life’s winter winds threaten you, when you are afraid or in pain, you will always feel tempted to retreat into your memories, so that can always live in summer. This is dangerous. If you never face your fears, you will not grow. If you do not keep your awareness on the present moment when you are in danger, this temptation could cost you your life!”
The pain of childbirth, which had at first seemed mild, now grew and grew in its intensity. She could not block out the pain! The pain was more intense than anything she had known and it was relentless. Suddenly her awareness showed her bright images, like a waking dream. Were her instincts causing her to take refuge in her memories? No! But something was wrong! These were not memories! What was happening to her? What was she seeing? Were these the memories of someone else?
No, these were not the memories of another person. She could see Hiroto, her husband, using his glorious Gift of flight, his long cloak flapping behind him like a wing. What a wonderful Gift he had! When he was afraid, he could physically escape, not just retreat into memories like Natsuko. As he flew, behind him was a pale globe, which seemed to be reflecting light like the Moon – but she thought that she could make out continents, like the Earth. Hiroto was holding something close to him, a bundle. He held the bundle gently, protectively, as if it was fragile and of enormous value.
Natsuko focused her view of the vision, to see Hiroto and his bundle more closely. There was a face wrapped up in what looked like a blanket. She realised that the face was her own. But these events had not happened! This was not a memory! Could the pain of childbirth have altered her Gift, somehow? Instead of seeing visions of the past, was she now seeing glimpses of her future? If she was seeing her future, was this a warning? Could these events be changed?
The scene in her mind changed. She saw herself, holding Hiroto close. They were standing in their home. This was one of her memories. What was happening? Why was she now seeing memories when she had seen mysterious visions before? Then another memory appeared. Hiroto’s arms were around her swollen belly, she was pregnant and she was embracing her husband in return. This scene felt warm, safe and secure.
Then she saw herself was walking in the street, near her home. This was another memory. She found a friend who was holding a baby. She had been pregnant then. She remembered her friend reassuring her that it would be alright, soon she would have a child of her own. She remembered reaching out to hold the baby, feeling its warmth, seeing its tiny hands and bright eyes which seemed to be asking her ‘what are you?’ Before, she had seen visions which were not memories. Now, she saw memories. What was going on?
Natsuko realised that she had become very afraid of the strange visions which were not memories. She realised that she was doing what she always did when she was afraid. She was retreating into her memories, to find a safe place. But, if she was hiding in her memories, did that mean that she would no longer see the visions of the future? She had sensed terrible danger in the future. She had to be strong. She must let go of the temptation to stay hidden in her memories. She had to summon all her strength, her will and her awareness. She needed to return to the present moment. When she did this, the memories faded away and she felt the pain of childbirth returning.
When the pain returned, she saw the people around her and the lights nearby. The lights in the room were so bright! As she returned to the present moment, to the birth of her child, the strange visions began to return as well. Disturbing visions appeared, one after another.
A masked man was lying on his back in a stream. A hand touched his head; a harsh voice said, “Get up, Kiyoshi. You are ready.” She sensed terrible danger. This man was a threat to her. This man moved stealthily, his muscles poised to strike, like an assassin. A moment later, Natsuko’s awareness returned to the present moment. There was so much pain.
Her visions returned. A terrifying monster was chained, lying on its back, in pain. Somehow, Natsuko felt empathy for this frightening creature. Like her, it was suffering and unable to move.
Ahhhh! Somehow the pain was lessening. She saw Hiroto standing nearby, tears running down his face. Suddenly there was a shrieking, red-faced infant in her arms – her baby! Was this the present moment, or a vision of the near future? She saw masked men burst in. Hands were reaching for her tiny, vulnerable child. “No! You cannot take my baby!” she heard herself cry in desperation.
She saw a masked men holding her baby in a blanket. Something shone in his hand, a knife! Natsuko felt terrified. Was this a vision? Would she have time to warn Hiroto? If this was a vision, it seemed like a vision of the near future – perhaps only moments away. The vision – if it was a vision – continued. The masked man threw her baby high in the air. Why? Did he want to hurt her baby or was he in danger, abandoning the baby to defend himself? Natsuko’s vision did not tell her.
In this frightening moment, Natsuko was deeply grateful that Hiroto’s Gift was flight. He was there, catching their child! A bright sphere of light suddenly appeared. Was this an attack from one of the masked men? Hiroto appeared to catch it in the child’s blanket, and threw it aside. There was a huge explosion nearby, but Hiroto and the child were safe. He flew quickly down to the ground, cradling the baby to protect him. Natsuko guessed that Hiroto wanted to hide. While he was flying, he was too visible to their masked enemies. Natsuko realised that they must be under attack from people who were also Gifted. Tomohiro, the kindly old monk at the Temple of the North Wind, had warned her to beware of such people – Gifted people who used their Gifts without conscience, discipline or morality. Such people were lethal.
Surely this was a vision? She saw a women tied up, helpless, like the monster had been, and apparently in pain. A masked man held up a finger as if to signify the number one. What was the significance of this? Her mind summoned another memory, another of the monks teaching in the Temple of the North Wind, a mathematics class. His voice had been as dry and as a desert and he had spoken in a whisper which somehow carried clearly across the room. She remembered him saying “In probability, 1 is the probability of an event that is almost certain to occur.” If this was a vision, perhaps her unconscious was somehow sending her a message: these events are almost certain to occur. But what was the point of having visions of the future if nothing could be changed? There must be something that she could do. If this was the future, she intended to face it and fight it!
Now she saw the terrifying monster again. The chains were gone. It was free! There was a huge explosion in the city. The monster’s huge tentacles were breaking down walls and shattering homes. The people of the city were in terrible danger! A masked man was approaching the city. Now the city was in even greater danger! Was there any hope? There was Hiroto, in his shining white robe with the blood-red edge, walking confidently to face his enemies. The city was falling into ruin! The monster’s huge mouth gaped open, revealing its teeth. Each tooth looked viciously sharp, like a wakizashi, a samurai’s short sword.
Hiroto’s hands moved quickly, as if he was taking part in a ritual in the Temple of the North Wind. But this was like no ritual she which Natsuko had ever seen. Just as her Gift went beyond Perfect Memory, including also visions of the future, it seemed that Hiroto’s Gift gave him more than the power to fly. From his hands, a sphere of bright, scorching-hot light flew swiftly and surely towards the monster’s terrible mouth. The monster roared its defiance and fell back, deeply wounded. The city was saved!
But now there was a new danger. A masked man was reaching for Hiroto from behind. Had Hiroto sensed the danger? Yes, he moved with the grace of a dancer and the speed of an arrow. A knife appeared in Hiroto’s hand as he reached towards the masked man, the assassin. But, as the knife reached the masked assassin, he faded and disappeared. The air seemed to shimmer and swirl. Hiroto disappeared as well. Had he been caught by the mysterious vortex of air which the masked assassin had vanished into?
Hiroto and the assassin re-appeared in a field, near a wood, outside the city. Hiroto and the assassin ran towards each other, hands outstretched to strike. Again, the assassin disappeared. He was behind Hiroto! He too had a Gift which gave him more than one power. Out of nowhere, chains appeared in his hands, chains which he was using to trap Hiroto. Hiroto again made quick movements with his hands and produced a bright sphere of light. The masked man moved with the speed of a striking snake, dodging out of the path of the bright sphere. But the sphere had been a distraction, a decoy. Hiroto had anticipated the assassin’s evasive action and was closing in with his knife outstretched. This fight was over.
Now, was the city safe? No! The monster had been badly hurt but it was raging and returning to attack the city. But now the defenders of the city were ready. A line of samurai in full armour stood ready, facing the monster without fear. Hiroto arrived and Natsuko saw that she, herself, was with him. Now, at last, Natsuko knew for sure that she was seeing a vision of the future and not the present moment.
The terrifying monster was still raging. Had the fearless samurai not been enough to defeat it? She saw Hiroto moving his hands quickly in a strange pattern. A cloud of smoke formed around him. He was trying to hide from the monster, trying to buy time for his wife and child to escape. The monster lunged forward. Hiroto was in immediate danger! Would he fight and win, or would he escape? Natsuko did not know.
Suddenly Natsuko saw a peaceful, green landscape. Had terror driven her to escape into a peaceful memory? No, this was a new vision. Two purple flowers swayed gently in the sunshine. Somehow she knew that each flower marked a grave, one for Hiroto and one for her. She felt a terrible sense of loss, and yet felt a strange serenity.
She heard a baby crying. She was back in the present moment! Natsuko’s new-born child was a gift even more precious to her than her Gift of Perfect Memory. But could she change the future which she had seen?
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(Sources: I used the 'Japanese proverbs' page on Wikipedia for the Japanese proverb and the Wikipedia entry for the number 1 for the comments of the monk about probability)
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Assignment 3 - Video Immersion
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(you gotta love the japanese... just look at their stories from the Edo period and you will understand 
),so let's see how it goes! I'll watch the whole stuff tommorow (tired and unmotivated as hell)
