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Thread: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/30

  1. #61
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 5/8

    Congratulations on winning the MAARC LXIII! As Lugotorix said, the dialogue with the angry Emperor works well and the battle and its brutal aftermath are dramatic (I like the way that you capture the detail of a victim of a flaming arrow, in one of the images). The comment that 'a fat hog can break its chain' comes after the observation that half of Gaul has broken away from Rome. So I guess that the 'fat hog' is a metaphor for the wealth and large population of Gaul. A wealthy province with a lot of people would have a better chance of breaking away from an Empire than an impoverished province with a small population. I could be wrong, of course!

  2. #62

    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 5/8

    YAY! Very excited to win the contest, if there is a digital badge I will proudly wear it on my avatar XD.
    And seriously, thanks for everyone who took their time to vote for me, the story has came a long way and I really appreciate the support.

    The Fat hog in the conversation was Stilicho, it will be an metaphor some conservatives use quite often: A fat, battle hardened Germanic war hog that is supposedly defending the empire with a leash around his neck. Stilicho is like Rome's guard dog. But around the emperor he is painted as a filthy half breed, a swine (Germans and their sausages), or in this case: A warthog with sharp tusk, who may be out of control, and could at anytime overthrow the Emperor.

  3. #63
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 5/8

    Your name and your AAR have been added to the Hall of Fame in the Writers' Lounge, as the winner of MAARC LXIII. It looks like you have achieved the distinction of being the first writer of an Attila AAR to take first place in the MAARC.

    You wondered if it comes with a digital badge. There are badges: bronze, silver and gold Writers' Study competition medals. To get them, you need 6 Writers' Study competition points for bronze, 12 for silver and 24 for gold. You came first in a MAARC in which there were 3 entries, which gives you 3 competition points. (If the MAARC runs with 6 or more entries, the writer who comes first receives 4 points.) This means that, when you get 3 more points, you will win a bronze medal.

    The writer who comes first cannot enter the next MAARC, to give other writers a chance, so you will not be able to enter the MAARC LXIV. You will be free to enter the MAARC LXV, of course. If you would like to know more, the competition rules are here.
    Last edited by Alwyn; May 15, 2016 at 08:59 AM.

  4. #64

    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 5/8




    14. A Point of No Return III


    Decius Tullius came face to face with two men walking out of the command tent. They were richly decorated, markings of high rank. But their faces unfamiliar, a strange sight since Tullius have served with the same officers for the past five years and knew everyone by name.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    They nodded as a sigh of respect, and Tullius greeted back. Only after the two parties passed did Tullius took his distrustful gaze off of them, and entered the command tent

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “That man wearing the high red crest is Claudius Claudian, his Majesty’s Court poet,” The bald Marshal inside briefed as he shuffled the scrolls laid before him.

    Dark rings circled Stilicho’s eyes. The Marshal was tired. On top of planning matters of war, he has to handle the intrigues of court. No wonder he earned the reputation as the man who never smiles genuinely.

    “What is this Scribe doing in our Marching Camp? Shouldn’t he be suckling on some whore’s bosom with the rest of his lot?” Tullius mocked. His Latin was vulgar, and thick with a Gallic accent.

    “That scribe has just been named Inspector General of the field armies. He bares the blade of his Majesty.,” Stilicho replied, “and he brings a gift.”

    The marshal handed Tullius a scroll. The commander unrolled it, and found a poem of Praise titled “Flames, Gold, and Chains: Stilicho, Breaker of Goths.”

    Work of a bootlicker no doubt.

    But as Marcellus scanned through the lines, the smirk on his face disappeared. The poem praised in plain words but is jeering in its meaning. The writing is rift with passive insults, accusations of incompetence.

    “Not once, not twice, not thrice; but four times he break the goths. And fourteen years they roam his sides. They came forth for glory, and stayed for the sweeter milk on our side... Gold we trade for iron: bind them together to wear as a mail of chains; and forge the trustful swords standing by our side.” Stilicho recounted lines from the poem as his face darkened.

    Gothic invasion, the influx of Germanic officers, and Poverty… One sentence each Claudian blamed it all on him. To think the poet dared to march in and deliver it straight to Stilicho’s face, and watch as the Marshal read through it. Claudian’s sheer audacity commands respect.

    “He’s got balls I’ll give him that,” Tullius dismissed it dryly as he handed back the scroll, “Did the Emperor commission this work?”

    Stilicho exited the tent with the scroll in hand, and signaled Tullius to accompany him.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “This man is an impulsive romantic: loyal, but too eager to take sides. There’s no surprise he got himself exiled from court.” Stilicho interpreted the motives behind this appointment, and dismissed the Emperor’s involvement in this insult. As they passed by a boiling pot, Stilicho tossed the scroll and destroyed it amongst soup and ham.

    “Stupid bookworm, he needs to learn the only ‘us’ and ‘them’ are the washed and unwashed.” Tullius agreed.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “I am raising you to the rank of Magister Militum to marshal over Claudian,” Stilicho said as they walked, “You will lead the Gallic contingents of the comitatenses back to Gaul and expel the invading Barbarians. Sarus the Goth will be your vanguard, I am not eager to force his hand on his own kind. I will replenish my forces with levies of Germanic settlers. And use this opportunity for integration.”

    He paused, and turned to Tullius.

    “Occupy Claudian with matters of war and keep eyes on him day and night. I want to know which whores he beds and which bird he pets. Every letter he sends you will read, and copy to me. Do you understand?” Stilicho instructed as he walked up to the newly commissioned Marshal.

    “Consider it done Imperator!” The newly anointed Marshal straightened his attire and snapped to a salute.

    “Remember,” Stilicho narrowed his eyes as he recited the motto of the Imperial Legions, “One Realm, one People, and one God. If they surrender, settle them. But traitors, we cannot allow.”

    “God Bless the Emperor!”






    “Sire,” Bonifacius whispered as he hurried his horse next to Claudian, “I want to thank you for bringing me on to this campaign, it’s truly an honor.”

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “Thank me not Flavius,” the poet smiled in reply, “I saw your name on the list of volunteers; I need an aid and you need a resume, there’s plenty of glory to go around.”

    “Aye sire,” Bonifacius laughed light heartedly. But his eyes soon narrowed, “can I ask you something sire?”

    “I suppose we shouldn’t campaign together as strangers, speak your mind.”

    “Why take to the fields, sire? You have no duty here.”

    There was a pause of silence, and for a second Bonifacius cursed himself for reaching out of line. But he did not back down but kept his eyes on the poet. He had to know, because his life depends on it.

    “You know the story of Lacus Curtius? The black pit which almost swallowed the eternal city in its founding days?” the poet asked as he looked to his companion.

    “I’ve seen the monument, but never learned the story.” Bonifacius answered

    As Bonifacius shook his head, Claudian began, “Legend tales that a great hole was opened when lighting struck the City of Rome, and expanded to swallow all in its radius. The oracles promised that the city could only overcome it by sacrificing what it holds most dear.”

    The two pass by a group of Numeri crowding the side of the road, where Roman soldiers are distributing cart full of swords to these auxiliary warriors. The Germanic volunteers looked on from a distance, and talked amongst themselves as they admired the beauty of Roman smithworks.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “A Marcus Curtius, knowing that brave Roman youth is what the city held most dear, plunged into the endless pit with his horse in a full suit of armor. The earth closed over him and Rome was saved.” The Poet paused, and let out a cynical laugh, “we don’t have many of them anymore.”

    Bonifacius looked down in silence, perhaps pondering if he would plunge into a bottomless whole for the sake of Rome.

    The two men were quiet as their contingent arrived at the assembly field, where Claudian and Bonifacius found a place by General Decius Tullius, who is to marshal this army.

    Eight thousand Gallic Veterans stood before them. And for the first time, Bonifacius noticed just how many pale, Germanic faces among not just the ranks, but the officers of the Comitatenses.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Tullius looked to Claudian, expecting a speech.

    “The stage is yours, Marshal.” The Inspector General declined this authority politely, a gesture which much delighted the Marshal.

    With a smile and a cough to clear his throat, Marcellus stepped forth.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “When we pledged our service to the realm, we swore a sacred oath: On the blood of our fathers, and the blood of our sons!” The marshal shouted.

    “One Realm! One people! One God!” his men replied in mass.

    “The Barbarians are more beast than man. They know no better! But Oath breakers are traitors, and deserve neither pity nor mercy!”

    “We will grind them into DUST!”

    “March forth Warriors of Christ! It is up to us to repel darkness from our realm once more!”

    The soldiers, at least those in the front who could hear him roared in cheers.

    As the rest of the legions erupted in shouts, Sarus the Goth waved his sword in the air and signaled his cavalry.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    His blade was black, forged from pure Noric Steel and gifted by the Supreme Marshal Stilicho.

    They marched for war.

  5. #65
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/16

    Great update, I am intrigued by the legend of Lacus Curtius and Bonifacus' observation about the Gallic Veterans.

  6. #66
    McScottish's Avatar The Scribbling Scotsman
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    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/16

    Exceptional writing, have you ever thought of writing a novella? SeniorBatavianHorse wrote his 'Nowhere Legion' trilogy, set in the Late Empire, and has done none too badly for himself out of it.

    I'm sure as heck looking forward to more of this, one way or another, +rep.

  7. #67

    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/16

    I have been thinking about collecting everything in the end and make a paperback for my shelf. Of course, I'm not going to say no if anyone is interested in publishing this. I am just mighty glad people are enjoying the story. I'm having a blast creating this, and the support has been more than I could hope for! Once again thanks everyone. And here's to the next chapter!

  8. #68

    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/16

    Chapter 15. The Bitter and the Sweet (I)


    A hint of smoke fills the air, along with dust of charcoal and the savory scent of grilled meat. For the Britannic soldiers disembarking their transports, it brings water to their mouths. But once they’ve seen the source of the ash and flavor. Vomits quickly replace the saliva in their mouths.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Along the exterior of Rotomagus, piles of dead barbarians are burned to prevent the spread of disease. Soldiers on the walls watches in horror as wild dog packs, attracted to the smell of burnt flesh, sink their teeth into the charcoaled corpses.

    In the mist of ashy smokes Legion upon Legions of Britannic Romans arrive at the docks to relieve the battle warry defenders. Their presence brought tears of joy to the defenders who now gather around to witness the deployment of Britannic legions. The garrison was reduced to mere thousand, but they no longer feel weak and alone.

    They are no longer the only Roman force in miles out.

    There is still order, there is still an Empire.

    The soldiers gathered around the dock burst into cheers as a man in Golden helm disembarked, surrounded by richly decorated officers and Chi-Rho banners. A welcoming party consisting all high ranking officers of the city and Constantine’s vanguard stood at the end of the path led by Lucius Pansa, Marshal of the vanguard. And Severus Atticus, Prefect of Rotomagus.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “CONSTANTINE! CONSTANTINE!” The men began to chant as they threw themselves to salute. The man saluted them back, and brought about another round of roar.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    “There he is,” Lucius Pansa whispered to Atticus as the column of officers approached.

    Atticus nodded and stepped forth.

    “Your Grace. I, Prefect of the Municipium, on behalf of the garrison, welcome you to our city.”

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Atticus was finally close enough to get a good fix on this “Marshal of Britain.” He was well groomed, with a ridged face of sharp angles. He looked young, no more than forty. A trait he clearly tried to compensate with the bushy mustache sitting above his lips.

    As he walked closer, Atticus can feel the aura of his presence. An energetic confidence generated by strong strides and a hidden smile.

    He felt intimidated by the marshal’s presence. By the red crest and gold helm, by the horse hair clock he wore effortlessly around his neck, by the gold plate he wore on his chest, by the army now feverishly declaring its loyalty.

    Constantine stepped onto the shore of Rotomagus already its conqueror.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    The docks fell to dead silence as the men waited to hear the voice of their new master.

    “I thank you for your defense of the city, and your service to the realm. Your tenacity is one which exemplifies the character of this Empire!” Constantine replied, but not to Atticus. He said these words loud enough for the soldiers to hear. And as he uttered those worlds, he looked at the faces surrounding him, and into the eyes of each defender. The port once again up roared in cheers and salutes, drowning any reply Atticus could muster.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Constantine marched on to meet with Pansa, and Atticus felt a strong hand gripping him by the elbow.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “I am Helvetius, Captain of the Guards to his Grace Constantine, please follow me this way.” The man said as he dragged Atticus to the side. At that moment, Severus Atticus’s face darkened as he finally understood their intentions. This is Constantine’s parade. He had already been sidelined even before their meeting.

    He is nothing.

    Pansa smirked as Helvetius yanked Atticus to the side. He had gone through great lengths to appear as if the Prefect was his equal. But now there’s no more pretending.

    “My liege,” The General greeted as he came to the side of his Marshal, and briefed as they walked. “We’ve killed over five thousand Barbarian warriors and captured some eight thousand; mostly women and children. The men also secured heads of livestock to the tens of thousands, and enough grain to sustain our armies for hundred days.” Pansa paused, and swallowed his shame as he delivered the bad news, “we were not able to encircle the enemy. I estimate at least twenty thousand fled into the country side.”

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “Good,” Constantine replied as he smiled at the soldiers leaning forward to witness his glory, “I want to herd them further inland. The more destruction they cause the easier for us to go in.”

    “Ah, our man of the hour!” Constantine ended their conversation abruptly as they approach Lustinianus.

    “Legate Lustinianus led less than a thousand men into the Barbarian camp and brought it to the ground. Of the four legions under my command, no man deserves more praise than him.” Pansa stood to the side dutifully as he emphasized to Constantine the contributions of Lustinianus. The Proud Legate swelled his chest even more upon hearing these words.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “Rules and discipline are pillars fundamental to the construct of this Empire, merits are dutifully rewarded and incompetence will be restlessly persecuted” Constantine nodded; Lustinianus can see the Marshal’s mustache curve on top of his smile.

    Constantine paused, as if letting these words soak into his bones before proclaiming: “Caius Lustinianus, I name you Magister Militum to marshal over your own army!”

    With these words, Constantine removed the sapphire ring on his finger and placed it in Lustinianus’s hands.

    “Long live the Emp…Long live Constantine!” The sudden appointment left Lustinianus struggling to find his words. He flexed his legs to stop them from shaking. As he tried to knell, he felt Constantine’s hands under his elbow.

    Just four months ago he was a nameless centurion slugging around Gratian’s ten. Now, he is a made-man by his own right. Lustinianus had already sworn to himself a thousand times he will lay down his life for Constantine. Now, he will swear a thousand more.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “Award these men!” Constantine ordered. The officers behind him brought out a large chest of Silver, and began to distribute the coins to the men.

    The soldiers around are drowning in their emotion looking down at the freshly minted coin in their hand, some even weeping. One side depicted an image of a Roman soldier. The other side decorated with Chi-Rho sign between the letters Alpha and Omega.

    A few literate soldiers began to explain the minted words to their comrades.

    “A heavenly realm,” the inscription read, “Eternal, from beginning to the end.”





    As the Britannic officers distributed their silver propaganda, Constantine moved to his son, and put a hand on his shoulder.

    “You made me proud, son.”

    “You honor me, father” Constans looked down. He didn’t want to reveal the doubt in his eyes; for his mind wondered how much Constantine said is for the men to hear.

    “This is Aulus Norbanus,” Constans turned to introduce his adviser before Constantine can look into his eyes, “his efforts were paramount in securing the city to our cause.”

    “Your grace, it is an honor to take part in such daring endeavor.” Norbanus greeted as he gave Rosalind a light tug, “allow me to introduce my wife…Rosalina.”

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    In front of all these high ranked men he introduced his “wife” with a Romanized name. Surely her identity will now be cemented.

    “The honor is mine, to meet men who stood their ground in face of Barbaric anarchy,” Constantine replied with a wide grin, so wide that his eyes narrowed, “Never has it become more clear to me the need for new blood in the Senate. Together we will sweep away this plague of decadence.”

    He then turned to Rosalind, who is looking at Norbanus half confused. “My lady,” insured Constantine, “When my armies sweep south we will restore to you what are rightfully yours, and take back what was taken.”

    What else can Rosalind do but to nod, smile and thank.






    “In front of all those men, you declared us husband and wife?!!” Rosalind’s whisper cannot contain her fury as she and a fully suited Norbanus walked through Rotomagus with a dozen armed retainers, “what happens when they go south and find your wife and children, what happens to me then?”

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “You will live, comfortably and well,” replied Norbanus impatiently. Right now he has no time for her tantrum.

    “As your bed warmer?” shot back Rosalind with disgust, “I should never have let you live.”

    Norbanus did not bother to answer right away, but gestured his men to lead over his horse. Rosalind cannot bare this treatment, she stood next to her "husband" in anguish while he continues to ignore her.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “When I reclaim what is rightfully mine, when you sit atop of my villa overlooking my garden and sip my wine,” Norbanus sneered as he mounted the horse finally brought over by one of his bodyguard, “you’ll have plenty of leisure to regret your good fortune.”

    “Where are you going?” Rosalind is screaming under her breath, her eyes wide and nostrils flaring with anger.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “My original mission, before our little detour: to restores the Aqueducts.” With that, Norbanus rode away. Leaving Rosalind stomping her feet behind a trail of dust.

    “Romisch Schwein!” She cussed.

    “Umm... My lady?” and it is at this untimely moment, a pale bold man with a waxed beard decided to approach her.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    “What you do want?” Rosalind sized him up and down with impatience.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Now the German clearly realized the horrid of his timing, but he can’t back off now.

    “I am Dornicus, the newly appointed Tribune of Rotomagus Garrison,” The German introduced himself with a nervous cough, “there seems to be some misunderstanding between me and your husband…”

    “Yes, yes I’ve heard of you: the backstabber, the sellout,” Rosalind clearly has decided to channel her anger to this poor man pleading for her mercy, “Shoo dog, you will get no bone from me.”

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    With that she walked off, leaving Dornicus standing red with embarrassment.








    I hope everyone is enjoying this on a mobile device. If not, I strongly recommend them. The formatting fits much better!





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    Last edited by baozi; June 30, 2016 at 03:40 AM.

  9. #69
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/30

    Great chapter, with powerful descriptions and sharp dialogue (which you combine very effectively with the images). (The formatting looks good on my laptop).

  10. #70

    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/30

    Beautiful!

  11. #71

    Default Re: Fractured Eagle <Historical Fiction> -Updated 6/30

    Hey guys, it's been so long...

    Can't explain how much joy it brought me in these years to know that I did this piece of writing, and people were interested in this content.

    I'm picking writing back up again, older, hopefully wiser, and with a much deeper appreciation for technology and Late Roman History. Made this tribute work... I hope anyone who come across this will enjoy
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GlkxTnE1yY

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