Death to Disney: Frozen Is Satanic Western Decadence and Sorcery for Lesbians
by Haid D'Salaami, Chief Film Critic and Director of Media Censorship for the Islamic State
Salaam to the faithful of the Caliphate and the Islamic State. Praise be to Allah and his prophet Muhammad; may peace be upon him. May this film critic be blessed by Allah in navigating the righteous through the treacherous waters of cinema, to avoid all that is haram and blasphemous.
The United States of America, or the Great Satan as the Satanic Shiite Republic of Iran often observes, is the greatest source for blasphemies and insults against Islam. It comes as no surprise then that from the jaws of Satan himself comes a film that is most haram: Frozen (2013). It is strictly forbidden to own, possess, sell, or distribute this movie within the bounds of the Islamic State, on pain of amputation of the right hand. Allah is most just and merciful, and his law dictates that those who insult Islam with such cinema must be treated no better than thieves. For those who were unfortunate enough to have seen the movie before its proper banning by decree of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the following is a review to help you cope and understand the blasphemies that you have witnessed and that have corrupted your morality and household. In sha'Allah, you will find relief from the clarity this condemning review shall provide.
Elsa, a scandalously-clad pale-faced sickly blonde pagan witch living in the far north, far outside the civilized boundaries of Dar al-Islam, is an infidel barbarian princess who uses witchcraft to threaten the world of Islam with torrents of ice and snow. She nearly succeeds in assassinating her rival infidel sister Anna, but her infidel parents, as some wise People of the Book may often do, saw fit to lock her away in the harem so that she would no longer be a danger to society and maintain her purity and virginity. Showing the original image of Elsa from the film is a great profanity and curse against Islam, so to give the reader an idea of what a pagan witch looks like, the following is a censored image suitable for Muslims of the Islamic State:
However, her royal infidel parents died in a US bombing strike (like in so many against the Islamic State), so that she found herself in possession of her entire northern wasteland of a kingdom. Male suitors for arranged marriage are presented to her at the palace, but Elsa turns to the Devil who convinces her to remain a lesbian and to practice sorcery against men. Her sister Anna attempts to have sex with one of the suitors before marriage, which is strictly forbidden in Islam, so Allah smites her by revealing to the whole world the depraved sorcery of her sister, who is forthwith banished from her own kingdom to an icy abode. No Arab would survive such fierce temperatures! It is further proof that she is a witch against Islam.
Anna, without a proper male family member to supervise her or even a hijab to cover her blasphemous red hair, sneaks off to meet yet another unmarried sex partner, a random boy in the woods named Kristoff. Together they rush off to seek the aid of Elsa for further witchcraft and licentiousness, enlisting help along the way from a Satanic manifestation in the form of a pudgy man made of snow and a carrot nose.
Allah makes his best attempt to thwart the scantily-clad witches with a giant abominable snowman. Yet their sorcery is too much for Allah's creation to withstand, so he fails. It is at this point where all true Muslims and followers of Allah should grieve, because the film only makes a turn for the worse. Anna proves instrumental in putting her sister Elsa back on the throne, in an attempt to stamp out sharia law and replace it with Western man-made rules and perverted rule by women. Prince Hans, who converts to Islam after realizing his immoral ways of trying to consort with Anna, attempts to kill the witches and restore Islam, but the witches' magic is too overwhelming for him. The witches snicker and laugh as they attempt to drown him in a lake. Fortunately he escapes and ensures that Islam survives in his Southern Isles (no doubt a metaphor for the Middle East). Then the two sisters profess their "true love" for one another in an act of blasphemous lesbianism.
The moral of the story is that Western lesbian witches are a threat to Islam, but all true Muslims should attempt to burn them, in order to counter their icy magic with fire. Yet this moral is lost on some in Islam, who have been corrupted and misled by the Satanic infidel conglomerate known as Disney:
In sha'Allah, the Islamic State shall issue a fatwah against those Muslims who support Disney and purchase its merchandise. All such merchandise shall be confiscated by the Islamic State and resold (for profit that is most acceptable to Allah) back to the Western decadent hell-holes from whence they came. Then we shall declare jihad against them and wipe forever from the memory and the Internet the blasphemy that is Frozen.
I encourage all Muslims here to discuss the sacrilege of this movie and voice their righteous condemnation of its characters, plot, and premise all based on Western lies and witchcraft.